sim!

Our happy little legacy story starts like most others do these days. Bored, broke sim, whipping out a pair of binoculars, hoping to catch a glimpse of a cardinal or two...



...even in the middle of a thunderstorm.



Chatting up the first person you meet? Fine, and again, normal. Social needs must remain in tip-top shape, right?



And look, it's our first passerby!



#1: Do you like to cook?
Lovely Lady-founder: Mmm?



#1: You know, like...say, pancakes! Nice, warm, banana pancakes.



#1: The secret ingredient being rocket fuel, if you know what I mean.
Lovely Lady-founder: Ohhhhhoho, I get it now!



Lovely Lady-founder: Daaaaaaamn, that guy's hot when he uses subtle innuendos that I can't get.

...okay. You're a little weird, but still. Nice and normal and...



Lovely Lady-founder: Okay, so, my kinks. Let me explain. I like to be hand-cuffed and positioned face down...
#1: Holy mother of God, what am I getting into bed with?!?

:|

You've only known the poor man for five minutes, sweetie. What. The?



Apparently enduring relationships and her partner's lack of adventure do not matter to Pippa Cross.

Romance/Fortune - WooHoo 20 different sims
Neat/Sloppy: 5
Outgoing: 7
Active: 6
Serious: 4
(Not really-) Nice: 3
Turn-ons: Logic types who are high up on the food chain.
Turn-off: Black hair

And yes, I got the name (and main aspiration) from that Pippa Cross. I guess there will be some Cross spawn named after some other characters in the book, but it won't be a huge theme. Er, fyi.



The Arbordale Urinary Club comes shortly after to test out the newest toilet in the neighborhood.



Prospective Notch in the Bedpost: So, I hear you like to cook...
Pippa: Cook, uh-huh uh-huh! :D

...seriously, this is all that everybody in this neighborhood ever talks and/or jokes about.



Poor Number One. He's so smitten with the woman who took the nonrefundable.



Pippa's moved on to the bigger and better. Men are so four hours ago, it seems.



Yeahhhhh right, "It's Raining!!!!!1111".



Prospective Bedpost Notch the Second: So hey, I heard you were rediculously easy err, new!



I forgot to mention that she has three bolts with every piece of man-meat on her property, so there's someone swooning every other minute.



Prospective Bedpost Notch: My friend says you're into kinky shit, so I was wondering...



Pippa: Nuuuuuuuuuuh uh, no way in hell.



Sure, Pippa.



Looks like Prospective Bedpost Notch the Second has caught on to your plans to bed every living thing with two legs.



Tweedledee: The new neighbor seems nice...
Tweedledum: Very nice...



Tweedledee: ...and hot, don't you think she's hot?
Tweedledum: ...very hot.

lol notoriety. Pippa's given the neighborhood something new to talk about all. The. Freaking. Time.



Pippa: I know we just met and I don't even know your name, but I hope that that isn't all that big a problem.



lkdfjsf honestly, ACR. Honestly.



Her second asks her downtown. Let's see who's in the party wagon today.



Did it.



Number Two's fashion challenged twin brother.



Some downtownie chick.



And this guy, who I'd marry in the family in a heartbeat. Not only is he one of the hottest townies my game ever generated (coming from someone who doesn't usually call anything drawn or computer generated hot), but his name is fucking Remus.

And I totally didn't sound like a fangirl just now, oh no.



Unfortunately Pippa has negative chemistry with him. :( All he gets is a shrug.



That's alright, Remus. I know that you're too good for Pippa and her ~*~superb~*~ dance moves too.









...and that, readers, is how Pippa activates her hottie radar.



It's bangable, I guess, but not in the "donate your sperm to the Cross Foundation" way.



#1: Well, I've got a little saved in my account.



#3: I've got plenty for the both of us, babe.



Pippa: And you? How much are you worth? You've got safes full of valuables in your closet, amirite? Huh?
Bartender: Back off, you gold digging whore.



Not obsessed with this sim at all. Just getting a shot of the guy behind him.



Pip could dig it.



And dig she does, standing in the same spot and talking about the same thing until I got fed up and sent her home.



Back home, Pip tries to seduce the laydehz~



Tweedledum: You're hotness is too much for one person to handle, sry2say.





I think I liked it better when all they talked about was food.



Tweedledum: Seriously, just looking at you is like peering into the face of the almighty.



Don't take it personally, Pip.



Oh?



#1: Yohsssssssssssssssssssss!

You shouldn't have. Really.



Pip invites sailor boy over for a sex.



Going straight for the bed after the obligatory handshake? Ho shit, that's a new record!!

You can't see this, but I'm glowing with pride over here.



Sailor Boy: Mrrrrowwwww.
Pip: Four down. Next?



As soon as that was over it, Pippa kept rolling wants for this guy for serious. Idk why, as she's only got two bolts for him instead of the standard three she's been getting for every other guy (except for Remus, goddamn you).



Casa-nova~





The hottie dance won't work without any hotties in the vicinity, dude.



Nah, music and dance is her thing.



She just loves the hobby to a violent extent.



The hell're you and what did Pippa do to deserve that?



Pippa: I get it, you think I'm hot, but really, phone sex?

That's #1. He has nothing better to do than call multiple times a day.



The town legend thing keeps sending over women, which is odd since she's a fan of the cash and prizes. Pip really fails at living up to every bisexual expectation imaginable.



Pip: Have any sex lately?



Randowoman: Haven't had any at all, but I've been told that you could change that.



Pip: Woahwoahwoah, if you ain't got the experience, get.



Randowoman: But everyone's been saying how easy and undiscerning you are...



Randowoman: You're hot, by the way.

PEOPLE OF ARBORDALE: PIPPA IS PROBABLY THE LEAST INTERESTING THING WHORING ACROSS THE FACE OF YOUR EARTH so why do you keep talking about her?



You probably want a piece of that, don't you Pip?



And thus Pippa is introduced to smustling.



Randowoman finds Pippa's lack of skill ohsohot. Sure, whatever turns you on.



Pippa: My milkshake. Let me show you it.



Randowoman's not impressed.



As a matter of fact she seems downright offended, but eh, maybe that's a rouse. Maybe what she really wants is to cop a feel with her index finger. Huh.



That might be the way them Arbordaleans get their kicks. "LOLOL STAIN ON YOUR SHIRT." Riiiight.



Why the angry face, Pip? In a way, that's sort of a compliment. Anyway, I get her to tell the kid to go away and...



...what.

Let's see, you said hi to the kid, he pulled a prank on you, your relationship with him is in the negatives, and you say goodbye by swapping spit with the punk?

That makes all the sense in the world.



Right, so moving on to older and better things. Pippa invites a lady friend over and she brings along Farmer Joe. Looks like he isn't getting any.



BUT WE ALL KNOW WHO IS, RIGHT PIP?



Farmer Joe: Aw, shi', d'ya hafta do that here?



Farmer Joe: Shoo now n' do yer lovemakin' elsewheres.



Farmer Joe: Kids these days ain't have none respect anymore. Decency's done gone clear through them windows.



Farmer Joe: But daaaaaaaaayyyyuuuum, that there girl'n'girl action is hot as almighty hell.

Creeper.



Pippa started rolling this annoying want to WooHoo with five service sims. Somewhere down the line she did a hobby...club...member person and she's addicted? I don't even know, but she calls the popos to add a new entry to her little black book.



I'm sure he thinks you're so full of class, standing in front of him with your lingerie like that.



Desperate times call for two dollar men.



The delivery boy. Well aren't we lucky?



He doesn't seem to think so.



But it's nothing a little Casa-nova~ power can't fix.



Ever since Pip's arrival, all the women in the neighborhood have grown like 75% more gay, I think. Seriously, it's usually women who're congregating on her lawn every day.



WooHoo yadda-yadda-yawn. Your life story gets old real fast.



It's been over ten days in-game, so it's time to start finding that One True Sperm Machine. Pip starts out by making-over a few of her now-bffs.



Yeah, uhm...



Better, but nnnnnnahhh.



Not this one either. :/



Desperate times are now calling for the $5k man.



Brown hair and brown eyes. If there isn't anyone else, sure?



Having three bolts, the first thing they did was get all up on each other.



This, of course, came second. The guy bolted when they were done. lol romance sims.



Pippa's finally found a fool-proof way into getting into other women's skirts.



That chess table was good for something after all. Anyway, as soon as they were finished doing the naughty-naughty, Pip makes a run


























for the toilet.


*head*







*fucking desk*

When the hell did that happen? More importantly, who the hell is the father? Or mother? And just how long have you been pregnant anyway, Pip?

All the answers and more, next installment!