softwareangel

so i recently created a bluesky account, and its been fun! it felt good to have a place where i could freely post my ideas and bits about my day once again, outside of blog posts, all in the palm of my hand.

but then in just the last few days my follower count tripled, because i made a couple posts about my computer (see previous posts for pics haha, i drew a face on it and people really liked it!) with one of the posts getting over 3.5k notes and i got rlly freaked out haha.

people followed from those posts specifically, and now im so afraid to post anything else haha

i wish my interests werent so wildly different. however i know what ultimately connects them (suchas spongebob, and retro computing), and it all stems back to happy memories i had as a child, which i cherish above all else. when i post about computers, or spongebob, or games im playing, its like being a little kid again.

i realize a lot of my posts are now visible to many, and its always a struggle for me to realize that, especially in the digital world. this can lead to me being too vulnerable online. and with the influx of people coming from twitter, and knowing that there is no such thing as a utopian social media site, im scared that i will be scrutinized or mocked or met with cynicism for sharing the things i love. much of what i love comes from "childish" places, and ive been laughed at before and its bound to continue happening.

the last social media site i was on shut down, but at least there i was more of an oddball than something to be mocked. i think users on that site were more accepting and/or didnt really find the need to be rude about what i was posting about. but now that im on bluesky, im not sure...

i am an incredibly sensitive person, i'll admit to that fault. i also run and hide frequently, whenever im scared or stressed.

last night i was thinking "maybe i should just stick to posting on my website and through this blog instead, and take a break from bluesky" and i felt so relieved at the prospect of carrying through with that. i dont know why i alway run and hide from everything, call it cowardice or anxiety or whatever, but its always something i do and i really really dont like it

huge follower counts and tons of notes on a post is not what i want at all when posting on social media. frankly it terrified me. i cant even envision what a room full of even 50 people would look like all staring at what i make.

i mostly use social media to post my thoughts, and little things i do, because its an outlet for me. i dont want to be popular or acknowledged by hundreds... i just want a place where i can exist to just express myself and be myself without fear, but its so hard to detach from that fear.

i just hope that this new platform is less cynical and cruel than twitter. its mainly why i left; i was too afraid. again, there is no such thing as a utopian site. i just wish that someday i will be able to find a place again where i can just be me

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clovercrayon

I just started wanting to go back here too!! primarily posting on social media can hurt x_x

I get the feeling of being overwhelmed from a bunch of people following for One Specific Thing when you have more than that particular interest .. like hey guys ... I like more than just this one thing.... It's easier for me to deal with on some sites than others

softwareangel

yeah... idk why its so much easier here and on neocities to be a bunch of things at once!! i think its just how fast-paced the nature of sites like twitter/bluesky/mastodon are setup haha... i feel like if im not constantly dancing the way people want to see, theyll grow tired or annoyed of me.

meanwhile here i can post once a week or on neocities update my site whenever i want and its fine... or maybe im just making up problems where problems dont even exist lol

disc_scratch

FELT THIS A LOT. if it's worth anything I think your way of using the internet is probably much healthier than the number game, its always what ive been aspiring to do anyway.

I think sites are made to have a sort of "sole purpose" kind of thing, you go to different sites for different things so it gets complicated when the user wants it to be their home sort of place. I also think there's a big difference in like... slowly getting followers vs getting them overnight. one you can actively curate even if the number goes up, the other is a sudden spotlight you cant easily control. i think these things are easy to be scared by ! particularly when your goal is simply. having a fun place to be a person.

I tried making a bluesky early on, got scared by the ability to search posts through any words featured on them :X if it's the focus on anxious behaviour than count me in because too many people i know irl are on there GKHG which ! would be fine in itself but the second guessing of self expression is understandably, very tiring !

yeahhh... i was never good with attention, both online and offline... so the sudden influx was like.. WOAH..

and i agree, the ability to just be able to find a post based on one word alone is wild.. on one hand its nice to find cool people and artists but on the other hand i also worry about being found so easily LOL

the internet is a lot sometimes even though it really shouldnt be

I feel like it's one of those things where it's not the most unreasonable thing in the world, but definitely prioritizes people's need for content instead of people themselves. if that makes sense gkhgk

amphobet

There's zero reason you should feel bad about taking a break from bsky. You post online because you want to, right? So if you don't want to... then don't.

If you don't enjoy it, what's the point?

andr0meda

I feel this. I decided to set up a Bluesky just in case, but I don't like how exposed I feel. That feeling of vulnerability is what always kept me from setting up a Twitter account (and given its current state, I don't regret it.). It also seems as though Bluesky is going to inherit the worst of what plagued self ship communities on Twitter and Tumblr, so... ew. I primarily just lurk there for Gundam fanart and a select few accounts.

I also totally agree with not wanting to be popular. I vastly prefer getting a few comments from 5 regular visitors over thousands of likes from strangers because I like actually talking to people and knowing their thoughts.

right... yeah im still a little nervous about my usage of the site, but im still posting to it... if all else fails i can always just come back to primarily posting on here, as well as my neocities haha...

and yeah i find myself commenting on nearly all posts i like now just out of habit, and worry if its weird to others... but i always found that i like comments >>> likes imo..

ill still hold out and see if its going to be a place for me in the long-run, but so far its been... alright! im mostly happy i got to reconnect with folks who only remained on twitter, who have now migrated to bluesky haha. the internet is sure a wild place to be

doomvega

throwing you a comment !! yes. too many people...

moveimbadger

This is so real. I started posting on bsky only because i needed commissions Super Badly and realized that's where all the audience is but i have zero desire to post where i can be perceived there. I also want to start blogging about some really personal experiences that I do want to share with people but there's not a single thing I want to post about that i want thousands of strangers to look at, and I think this gets to the heart of it. I'm not even a particularly sensitive person about online things, like any rude comments i get im more of a block or mock type response. but even im anxious about putting myself out there in a way that tons of strangers can just... see? god i miss the old web thank god for neocities and this site. rip cohost

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