sohan

Nabi: Summaries with Excerpts, Vol. 14

Chapter 28: My error-filled life
실수 (誤) 투성이 내 인생



Volume 14 opens with a sword practice session with Myo’un and Ryu Sang. Myo’un asks if she really needs to learn to wield a sword, to which Ryu Sang replies that everyone at the school has to learn it.

pp. 12-14

Ryu Sang: That's how you sell [mercenaries] up to foreign armies.
(그래야 나중에 외국 군대에 비싸게 팔아먹지.)

Myo’un and Jeokyeong: What?!
(뭐?!)

(Dan'a): That's not it!
(아니라니까!)

Ryu Sang (nonchalantly): There's no such thing as free in the world.
(세강에 공짜가 어딨냐.)

Dan'a tries to calm the other children down, and as they all walk to another part of the school, Ryu Sang remarks:

Well, in any case, I suppose it's not bad to learn at least one skill in life.
(뭐, 어쨌든.)
(살면서 기술 하나 배워두는 것도 나쁘지 않겠지.)

Myo’un: A skill to hurt people?
(사람을 다치게 하는 기술?)

Ryu Sang: A skill to kill people.
(사람을 죽이는 기술이지.)

Dan'a scolds Ryu Sang to cut it out. Later, another older student sings Myo’un’s praises to Lady Howŏl, saying that even though Myo’un started learning later than the other children, she’s already as good as Ryu Sang. The older students adds that she thinks Myo’un was born with a talent for swordsmanship.

In a flashback, Howŏl has arrived where Hayŏng slew the Son guards. She goes looking for Hayŏng, who is hiding in the recesses of an abandoned building, and approaches Hayŏng, explaining that she was Hayŏng’s mother’s close childhood friend, and that So’ryu has sent her to find Hayŏng.

Hearing this, Hayŏng, crying, Hayŏng tells Howŏl that she/he has committed many evil deeds of late, and asks Howŏl if these deeds wouldn’t reflect badly on her/his mother, causing her to go to a bad afterlife. Later, when they have reached a safer place (a cabin on an airship), combing Hayŏng’s hair into a girl’s hairdo, Howŏl tells Hayŏng:

pp. 27-33

Howŏl: Shall I tell you a secret tale?
(비밀 얘기를 하나 해줄까?)

I, too, committed many evil deeds in my youth, taking countless lives.
(나도 젊은 시절, 많은 악행을 저질렀단다.)
(수많은 목숨을 죽게 하고서.)

I have made a great fortune in this way and am doing charity in a foreign land thereby. This is something the students of the school don't know.
(그것으로 큰돈을 벌어)
(이국 땅에서 자선을 베풀며 살고 있단다.)
(우리 아이들은 모르는 이야기지.)

Myo’un: Is it a secret? Did you kill people to make money?
(비밀인가요?)
(돈을 벌려)
(사람들을 해한 것인가요?)

Howŏl: Surely not. My house was one with no such need. You know this, too. The Wŏllyŏng Sŏng clan of Su possessed wealth and power that even the emperor could not have ignored.
(그럴 리가. 그럴 필요가 없는 집안이다.)
(너도 알 것이다. 수의 월령성가는 황제도 무시 못할 재력과 병력을 가졌어.)

Myo’un: Then, why. . .
(허면, 왜. . .)

Howŏl: That's the thing indeed. Why. . . did I live that way?
(그러게 말이다.)
(나는 왜 . . .)
(그러고 살았을까?)

Hayŏng. From now on you will live according to the rules of the Sŏng clan, not the Hong clan.
(하영아. 너는 이제부터 홍씨 집안이 아니라 성씨 집안의 법도에 따라 살게 될 것이다.)

Myo’un: Yes, my lady.
(네.)

Howŏl: Everyone in our clan learns swordsmanship. The same goes for the children at the school.
(우리 가문은 모두 검을 배운단다.)
(문에 있는 우리 서원의 아이들도 그러하고.)

But . . . I'm not sure if I should teach you as well, too.
(. . . 헌데 . . .)
(네게도 가르쳐야 할지 어떨지 확신이 잘 서지 않는구나.)

I really don't know.
(정말)
(나는 모르겠다.)



On their way to the Su capital, at Ryu Sang and Harim’s bickering over who smells worse from not being able to bathe on the road, the group finds a creek to wash in. In a bad temper at not having been able to wash, Ryu Sang notices that the apparition of So’ryu, who has been following them all this while, appears to not have changed her clothes either. He notices her looking at him and the looking away and wonders . . .

pp. 41-43

After having washed, everyone’s mood has seemingly improved a bit.

Sŏng: Myo’un, you look like you're in a better mood.
(묘운아, 기분 좋아 보인다?)

Myo’un (smiling): Not at all.
(아니에요.)

Sŏng: Ha. . . We ended up doing laundry because of Sang's complaining. . . we're going to reach the capital tomorrow anyway. . .
(. . .하아. . .)
(깔끔 떠는 상이 때문에 결국 빨래를 하고 말았네.)
. . . 어차피 내일 모레면 도성으로 들어갈 텐데. . .

Ryu Sang: Don't call me Sang, that's gross.
(낯간지럽게 상이라고 하지 말라니까.)

Harim: Of course he'd call you Sang, would you call Sŏng by Sang?
(상이를 상이라고 하지, 성이를 상이라고 하냐?)

Sŏng: Eh? Who the hell do you think you are, calling me by my given name?
(어?)
(이게 어디서 형님 이름을 함부러 불러 제끼고 있어.)

Harim: Hey now. I'm plenty old myself.
(이거 왜 이래. 나도 나이 먹을 만큼 먹었어.)

Sŏng: Status tags. [戶牌, 號牌 - note to add]
(호패 까.)

Harim: Well then. . . . I expect you to call me "hyŏng" henceforth.
(. . . 그럼 . . . .)
(앞으로 형님으로 모셔라.)

<
Here are the ages:
Ryu Sang: 17
Sŏng: 18
Harim: 19
>

Sŏng: Wait! You're a slave! We can't treat status lightly in a status society!
(잠깐! 넌 노비잖아! 신분 사회에서 신분을 우습게 보면 안 되지!)

Ryu Sang: That’s right!
(옳소!)

Harim: (Ugh!)
(윽!)

Ryu Sang: Also, Myo'un is the highest-ranking person here so treat her accordingly! Myo'un, don't talk up to Sŏng, either!
(그리고, 여기선 묘운이가 제일 신분이 높으니까 앞으론 아씨로 모셔!)
(묘운이 너도 성이에게 높임말 쓰지 마!)

Myo’un: Huh?
(에?)

Harim: That’s right!
(옳소!)



When Sŏng’s comrade has returned from his wash, there’s an annoyed and awkward silence among the group. [Sŏng’s comrade] tries to get Sŏng to promise to leave with him for home as soon as they’ve reached (finishing accompanying the others to) the capital.

Looking at So'ryu’s form, sitting on the balustrade/bannister with her back turned to them, Ryu Sang wonders again how long So’ryu has been sleeping and recalls what she had said before, that she will one day wander so far in her dreaming that she will not be able to return. Discovering Ryu Sang’s ability to see her provided So’ryu’s father with the answer to a problem that has long troubled him, and that was the reason, as So’ryu said, that Ryu Sang was locked up at the Son house. Ryu Sang calls So’ryu out and goes to talk with her alone as Myo’un watches him walk off.

pp. 55-69

So'ryu: I thought you would never speak one word to me. . . .
(평생 말 한 마디 안 붙일 줄 알았더니 . . . .)

Ryu Sang: You. When is it now?
(너.)
(지금 언제야?

So'ryu: That's a weird question.
질문이 이상해.

Ryu Sang: You know what I mean.
(무슨 뜻인지 알잖아.)

So'ryu: I do.
(알지.)

I've come from the future.
(난 미래에서 왔어.)

Ryu Sang: I know, I'm asking when that is.
(그러니까, 그게 언재냐고.)

So'ryu: Say 'Beautiful elder sister, please tell me.'
‘아름다운 누님 부디 가르쳐 주세요’ 해 봐.

Ryu Sang: Beautiful elder sister, please tell me.
(아름다운 누님 부디 가르쳐 주세요.)

So'ryu: Wow, easy! You're much too easy, Ryu Sang!
(우아, 쉬워! 너무 쉬운 남자야, 류상!)

Ryu Sang: My future depends on it, no point in having that kind of pride.
(내 미래가 달렸는데, 그깟 자존심 따위.)

So'ryu: But you must, you really must. Especially in front of your enemy's daughter.
(가져, 가져야 해. 원수의 딸 앞에선 더더욱.)

Ryu Sang: My enemy's daughter? Don't you mean, my enemy?
(원수의 딸?)
(그냥 원수가 아니고? )

So'ryu: Why did you let Harim live?
(하림이는 왜 살려줬어?)

Ryu Sang doesn’t answer, and looks away.

So’ryu: Thanks for sparing Harim. Originally he was dying in a pile of snow a long time ago. . .
(하림이를 살려줘서 고마워.)
(원래 그 아이는 오래 전 눈 속에서 죽어가고 있었는데. . .)

Ryu Sang: I don't want to hear about Ju Harim!
(주하림 이야기는 듣고 싶지 않아!)

So'ryu: I saved him.
(내가)
(살려줬어.)

When my father was going to kill him for having killed my second elder brother, I saved him.
(내 작은 오라비를 죽인 죄로 내 아비 손에 죽게 되었을 때도)
(내가 살려냈어.)

When my father was going to kill him for returning to our homeland against orders, I saved him. I've always. . .
(돌아오지 말라던 고국 땅을 다시 밟고, 또 다시 내 아비 손에 죽게 되었을 때도)
(내가 살려냈어.)
(. . . 내가 늘. . .)

Ryu Sang. Am I really beautiful?
(류상.)
(내가 정말 아름답니?)

Ryu Sang: Son So'ryu, what I want to hear from you is . . .
(손소류, 내가 네게서 듣고 싶은 건. . . .)

So'ryu: When will I finally completely forget my face? My name? My parents and my country?
(나는)
(언제쯤이면 내 얼굴을 완전히 잊게 될까?)
(내 이름을 잊게 되는 건?)
(내 부모를, 내 나라를 잊게 되는 건?)

Will I forget how to speak someday? Is it a comfort that I won't be afraid of forgetting? Is something already wrong with me, saying that this would be fine?
(언젠가는)
(말하는 법도 잊게 될까?)
(잊을까 두려운 지기도 정인도 없다는 게 그나마 다행일까?)
(이런 게 다행이라고 말하는 나는, 이미 어딘가 이상해진 게 아닐까?)

How long will I be able to stay sane amidst this limitless loneliness and endless suspicion? Is something like this. . . my hell?


무한한 고독과 끝없는 의심 속에서 나는 언제까지 제정신일 수 있을까?
. . . 이런 것이 . . .
나의 지옥도일까?


I should have made you fall in love with me.
(네가 내게 반하게 만들어둘 걸 그랬어.)

Saying nothing more, Ryu Sang leaves, making his way up the stairs.

So’ryu: Don't go into the capital. If you're captured by my father, you'll live out the rest of your life
(도성에는 들어가지 마.)
(아버님 손에 잡히면, 넌 아마 평생 내 말을 전하는 도구로 살게 될 거야.)

Ryu Sang’s thoughts: He still won't give up his daughter's ability to tell the future? That's some amazing fatherly love. Even possessing great beauty is useless in a life like that, huh.

그 와중에도 딸의 예지력은 포기 못 하시겠다?
대단한 부정(父情)이구나.
세도가게 뺴어난 용모를 타고 났어도
부질없는 인생이구나.





When Ryu Sang returns, Myo’un, who has been watching for him to come back, pretends to have been asleep, and recalls their conversation in the rainy forest before meeting up with Sŏng and [Sŏng’s comrade]. Ryu Sang had told Myo’un that he can see So’ryu, and to her question whether he can still her as they are walking through the woods.

pp. 71-72

Ryu Sang: How are you going to take revenge on Son Sŏkmyŏng when you're letting Ju Harim live? And twice, even.
(주하림은 사려주면서, 손석명에게는 어떻게 복수하겠다는 거야?)
(그것도 두 번씩이나.)

Myo’un: Is she. . . still here?
(. . . 지금도 있어?)

Ryu Sang: That woman is always by your side.
(그 여자는 늘 네 곁에 있어.)

Inside the abandoned pavilion (with steps leading down to a pond) Myo’un turns to Ryu Sang, lying next to her, with a surprised look on her face. Without opening his eyes, Ryu Sang reaches over and turns her head the other way (the way it was before)

p. 74

Myo’un: . . .
(. . . . . .)

Ryu Sang’s thoughts: Son So'ryu, not only have you got an unhappy life, you're unlucky, too. . .

. . 불행한데다. . .
불운하기까지 하구나, 손소류.




pp. 76-79

Still standing by the side of the pond, (the apparition of) So’ryu is deep in thought. Although she has tried to shape the world around her according to her wishes, she doesn't 'exist' in the place where she is standing.

Even unseen, the wind shakes the branches of the trees,
and even without form, water holds within it life. . .
But even though I've lived on this earth nineteen years
I haven't been able to enter anybody's heart.

바람은 보아지 않아도 나뭇가지를 흔들고
물은 형태가 없어도 그 안에 생명을 품는데. . .
나는 이 땅에서 열하홉 해를 살았어도
어느 누구의 마음에도 깃들지 못했구나.



Recalling the faces of Hayŏng, the young Han’a, and young Harim, So’ryu wonders when she started living this way. She even wonders if she is really sleeping at that moment. She asks herself if her body is really asleep somewhere and her spirit is wandering around, or if she is really in that bamboo grove [where she meets death at the hands of several different people], and is really having a dream or hallucinating while in the process of dying.




In a flashback, Hana and So’ryu are sitting on a porch somewhere within the Son complex. So'ryu watches quietly as Hana is plays a game of knucklebones (kongkinori{gongginori}) with 5 small carved pieces of wood.

pp. 81-85

Han’a: The ability that I have is to show people their dreams.
(제가 가진 신통력은)
(사람의 꿈을 보여주는 거예요.)

If Miss So'ryu can see the future through dreams, I can make people see dreams in the present. I can make the kinds of dreams that people desperately wish for appear in front of their eyes.
(소류 아가씨가 꿈을 통해 미래를 볼 수 있다면,)
(저는 현실에서 꿈을 보게 할 수 있어요.)
(사람들이 간절히 바라는 꿈들을, 눈앞에세 실제로 보여줄 수 있어요.)

If it's that you're using dreams to see the truth, I'm using dreams to show things that are false. It's a completely useless ability.
(아씨가 꿈으로 진실을 본다면)
(저는 거짓을 꿈으로 보여주는 거예요.)
(아무 짝에도 쓸모없는 능력이에요.)

Han’a (looking up from her game): Miss So'ryu, what is your wish? Does a person like you who's born with everything have a wish?
(소류 아가씨는 소원이 뭐예요?)
(아씨처럼 다 갓고 태어난 사람도 소원이 있나요?)

So’ryu: I want to become a grown-up. I want to grow up soon and leave this house.
(나는)
(어른이 되고 싶어.)
(어서 빨리 어른이 돼서)
(이 집을 떠나고 싶어.)

Han’a (smiling, in the image of a young woman in front of an equally grown-up So’ryu): That's the same wish as mine. Your wish is mine, too.
(저와 같은 소망이네요.)
(저와 같아요.)



In the next scene, throughout the Son house, people, including the young Harim, look up from their tasks at the passing of two unfamiliar young women, smiling and laughing as they run. Having made their way outside the house, the two (in their original forms) are crouched on the side of a road. So’ryu asks Hana what the game she was playing earlier was, and Hana tells her that it is "kongginori" (knucklebones, also called "salgu" [살구] in her country), an ordinary girls’ game that So’ryu probably hasn’t had a chance to play because she’s a yangban’s daughter.

p. 93-100

Hana: Miss So'ryu. . . there's probably a ruckus going on back at the house.
(. . . 아씨 . . .)
(댁에서 날리 났을 거예요.)

So’ryu: Where you going to go now?
(넌 이제 어디로 갈 거니?)

Han'a: What's a child going to do? Beg or become a slave, probably. . . Miss So'ryu, please speak on my behalf to the Master.
(어린에 혼자, 어디서 뭘 먹고 살겠어요. 구걸을 하거나 종살이나 할 텐데. . . .)
(대감마님께 말씀 좀 잘해주세요.)

So’ryu: You can just, like before. . .
(그냥 아까처럼. . .)

Hana: Miss So'ryu, that was a falsehood. It's made-up. Just a dream that you dream while you're awake.
(아씨, 그건 거짓이에요.)
(허상이에요.)
(그냥 눈 뜨고 꾸눈 꿈이에요.)

(with five small rocks in her hand): That's why I said it's useless.
(그래서 쓸모없다고 한 거예요.)

I mustn't ever forget, what kind of situation I'm in, what my real appearance is. . .
(항상 잊으면 안 되거든요.)
(나는 지금 어떤 상황인지, 나의 본 모습은 무엇인지. . . .)

My name is Han'a, a little shamaness from the country of Mion which no longer exists. I've been held captive in the house of a minister of Su, Son Sŏkmyŏng, and stolen his precious daughter away to play knucklebones.
(내 이름은 한아.)
(이제는 없어진 미온 국의 애기 무녀.)
(수의 조정 대신인 손석명 대감댁에 잡혀있다.)
(그 댁의 귀한 따님을 꾀어내어 공기놀이를 하고 있는 중.)


Now, you tell me, Miss So'ryu.
Since I've shown you your dream, you tell me about my dream.

Do I become a grown-up without incident?
If I obey your father, will I grow up without incident?
Even if he finds out that I'm useless as a shaman, will he let me live?

Miss So'ryu, I really want to become a grown up.
I really do.

“자 이번엔 아씨가 말씀해보세요.”

“제가 아씨의 꿈을 보여드렸으니.
아씨도 제 꿈을 보아주세요.”

“저는 무사히 어른이 되나요?”

“대감마님 말씀을 잘 듣고 있으면 무사히 어른이 될 수 있나요?

“내가 쓸모없는 무녀임을 알아도”

“대감마님은 저를 살려두실까요?”

“소류 아씨”

“저는 정말 어른이 되고 싶어요.”

“꼭 되고 싶어요.”





The group has neared one of the gates to the capital, and sees that as expected, they are inspecting everyone who enters the city. Because they don’t have any money with which to bribe the guards, Ryu Sang stands out too much, and two tribesmen are wanted by the Su authorities, only Myo’un might go inside to get information (ex. about Aru etc). When Ryu Sang shoots that plan down, Harim, changing his form to that of Han’a’s, volunteers to accompany her inside.

Sŏng sitting next to an openmouthed (completely confounded) [Sŏng’s comrade], puts a hand over his eyes.

pp. 104-106

Sŏng: Have I gone too long without eating?
(내가 너무 굶었나?)

(taking the hand away) Suddenly Harim turned into a girl in front of my eyes. . .
(갑자기 눈앞에서 하림이가 여자에로 딱. . .)

(lifting Han'a by the shoulders) Why, why isn't there a middle ?!
(아니, 왜 중간 과정이 없어?! 중간 과정이?!)

Ryu Sang: Even if you're asking me. . .
(나한테 따져봤자. . .)
what is it you want to see. . . ?
(뭐가 보고 싶은건데?

Sŏng: (setting “Han’a” down) But why is a tiny thing like you so heavy. . .
(근데, 쪼그만 게 왜 이렀게 무겁냐. . .)

'Han'a' (smiling): Because I'm really Harim.
(본질은 하림이니까.

I'm an illusion. I'm just showing you the illusion of this girl's image.
(난 허상이야. 난 지금 너희에게 이 소녀의 환영을 보여주고 있을 뿐이야.)


Sŏng: We don't need an illusion of a little girl, so if you have an ability like that then call up the carriage of a noble or something like that!
(어린애의 환영 따위 필요 없으니, 그런 재주가 있으면 지금 당장 권력자의 마차라도 불러와라!)

Sŏng’s comrade: But we're not going with them!
(안 갈 거잖아!!)

As they argue, to all of their surprise, a well-appointed carriage can be seen coming their way down the road.

pp. 107-109

Sŏng: Can we get on this?
(이거 탈 수도 있어?)

From inside the carriage, So’ryu replies: Of course.
(물론이죠.)

Han’a: Miss So’ryu
(소류 아씨.)

Ryu Sang (to “Han’a”): You can see her?!
(보여?!)

So’ryu (to 'Han’a'): I mislike that shape.
(그 모습은 싫구나.)

'Han’a':
. . . .

(reverting back) Harim: Yes, my lady.
(네.)

(to the others) She's not an apparition.
(환영이 아니야.)

Sŏng: Eh?
(어?)

So’ryu: That is correct. This is a beauty that exists.
(그렇다. 이것은 실존하는 미모다.)

So'ryu has Myoun dress as a highborn young lady, the others as her servants, and the group heads toward the capital (initially without Ryu Sang).

Ryu Sang (running up to catch up to them): Hey!
(잠깐!)


So’ryu’s plan (now including Ryu Sang) is to enter the capital in disguise – Ryu Sang, disguised as a blind female shaman, sits next to Myo’un and across from So’ryu inside the carriage. This allows his eyes to be covered up)

pp. 110-117

Ryu Sang: Son So'ryu. I won't forget this insult.
(손소류.)
(이 치욕은 절대 있지 않겠다!)

So’ryu: The story is that you're a blind shaman invited by two young ladies, so don't make a mistake.
(유랑중인 두 아씨가 초대한 맹인 무녀라는 설정이니 실수하지 마.)

You should have waited quietly outside the walls of the city. . . your eyes stand out too much. It must have been a hard life, looking so different.
(얌전히 도성 밖에서 기다릴 것이지. . . 네 파란 눈은 너무 눈에 뛴단 말이야.)
(쉽지 않은 인생이었겠어.)
(남들과 다른 모습으로 사는 건.)



The three of them sit in silence for a while as the carriage (clunks) forward.

So’ryu: Myo’un, I know what it is that you're thinking.
(묘운이 네가 무슨 생각하는지 알아.)

Myo’un: Don't speak.
(말하지 마.)

Don't interfere in my life anymore.
(너는 더 이상)
(내 인생에 끼어들지 마.)

So’ryu: All right.
(그래.)



While So'ryu, Myo'un and Ryu Sang ride inside, Sŏng, Harim, and [Sŏng’s comrade] are walking outside alongside the carriage.

Sŏng: Then. . . you can't show anyone else but that girl?
(. . . 그럼 . . .)
(그 여자애 말고 다른 모습은 보여줄 수 없다는 거야?)

Harim: Yeah. This is an ability that was hers originally, but I've inherited it. . .
(응.)
(이게 원래 그 애가 가진 신통력이었는데, 내가 물러받은 거라 . . . .)

Sŏng: Eh? Is something like that possible?
(에? 그런 게 가능해?)

Harim: Anyway so it's a little unstable.
(암튼 그래서 좀 불안전 해.)

Sŏng: I can't tell if I'm just going along with this because I'm hungry and tired. Then, is the reason you can only show her appearance is because the power used to belong to someone else?
(내가 지금 배고프고 만사 귀찮아서 뭐든 곧이곧대로 믿고 있는 건가?)
(그럼, 그 힘의 원주인이 짜로 있어, 그 소녀밖에 못 보여주는 거야?)

Harim: No . . . .
(. . . 아니 . . . .)

That's probably because what I want must be just that one thing.
(그건 아마, 내가 바라는 게 그거 하나뿐이라 그런 것 같아.)

I must want to see that girl that much.
(나는)
(그 애가 그렇게 보고픈 가봐.)

In reality that girl left this world without growing up to be even that old.
(사실 그 애는)
(그 만큼도 자라지 못하고 세상을 져버렸거든.)



Having entered the city, So’ryu and the others part ways.

p. 118

So’ryu (sitting inside the carriage): Myo’un. Goodbye.
(묘운아.)
(잘 가.)

Myo’un doesn’t answer, and Harim follows Myo’un. So’ryu thinks of those times she spoke with Myo’un/Hayŏng – when she was locked up in the Son house, when ‘Hayŏng’ slew the Son guards sent to retrive him, and when Hayŏng, having returned to the empty Hong house.

pp.129-147

Hayŏng (sitting on a porch, an invisible So’ryu sitting next to her): Oh. . . a butterfly in winter. . .
(. . . 어 . . . .)
(. . . 한겨울에 나비가 . . .)

So’ryu (unseen and unheard by Myo’un’): That's because it's springtime where I. . .
(그건 내가 봄에서 와서 . . .)

Hayŏng (neither hearing or seeing So'ryu, is laying down on her side): Mother. . . mother.. .
(. . . 어머니 . . .)
(. . . 어머니 . . . .)

With tears in her eyes, Hayŏng falls asleep. So’ryu listens to her sleeping for a while and then returns to her own time, leaving Hayŏng covered in cherry blossoms.

[Note: I think this means that there’s some kind of slight exchange/flow between different times which is maybe made possible by So’ryu’ve movement through time and space.]

So’ryu wakes up to Harim and Hana looking at her.

Han'a: Did you find yourself in a winter?
(겨울에 다녀오셨어요?)

So’ryu: How did you know?
어떻개 알았어?

Hana and Harim exchange a knowing look.

Hana: At first I thought they were cherry blossoms. But they were much too cold. I said, 'How wonderful!' and was really surprised. Where did you go this time, and what did you see?
(처음엔 벚꽃인지 알았거든요.)
(근데, 너무너무 차가운 거예요.)
(‘어머, 이게 무슨 조화야.’ 하고 깜짝 놀랐지 뭐예요.)
(이번엔 어딜 가서 무얼 보고 오셨나요?)

So’ryu: It was the house of a boy I saw a few days ago. . .
(며칠 전에 본 남자아이의 집이였는데 . . . .)

Han'a: Really. . .
(헤에. . . .)

So’ryu: But he's actually a girl.
(근데 알고 보니 여자아이였어.)

Han'a: Oho. . .
(호오. . . .)

There's still something I wonder about.

Hayŏng, did you meet that version of you that I saw in that winter?
Did you follow the path I showed you, and did you avoid that ghastly winter that was in error?

For me, what are left to me are days that are full of errors.


난 지금도 궁금한 게 있어.

하영아, 너는 내가 봤던 그 겨울의 너를 만났니?

내가 알려준 길을 따라

오답과도 같은 그 처참한 겨울을 잘 빗겨갔어?

내게는 니금
오답과도 같은 날들만 남아 있어.



As So’ryu is thinking these thoughts, another So’ryu (19 or older) hovers beside her and speaks to her (unheard, unseen).

The So’ryu from the future: Is it right to send Ryu Sang off this way?
((이대로 류상을 보내는 게 옳은 일일까?))




In life, what is the 'correct' answer?


인생에서 '정답' 이란 무엇일까?



The So’ryu from the future: You've readied yourself to become something like air? Is there really a creature that can bear that kind of absolute loneliness?
((공기 같은 존재가 되는 걸 각오했다고? 그런 절대고독을 견딜 수 있는 생명체가 정말 있을 수 있을까?))


What is it to do the right thing?


옳은 일을 하는 것?




The So’ryu from the future: Wouldn't it be better to die? What are you even looking at the future for?
((차라리 죽는 게 낫지 않을까?))
((너는 대체 뭐하러 앞날을 보는 거냐?))


Whatever bring the best result? For example,


결과가 좋은 것?
가령,



The So’ryu from the future: Your father, at least, has amasses wealth and gained in power from the stories you've retrieved
((적어도 네 아비는 네가 물어다오는 얘깃거리로 재물을 모으고 권력도 얻었거만.))



if choosing the wrong thing is what is good for me, then what is the truth to life?


옳지 않는 선택을 해야만 내게 좋은 거라면,
그때의
인생의 정답은 무엇일까?



The So’ryu from the future: How many things are you planning on losing here today? Are you so noble?
((너는 오늘 여기서))
((대체 몇 가지를 잃을 셈이냐?))
((스스로가 그렇게 고결해?))



In the following scenes, this future/older So’ryu watches and speaks over the other, younger So’ryus seen earlier in the volume (such as the So'ryu watching Hayŏng and others looking at key moments).



The So’ryu from the future: Are you God? After everything that's happened, now you're just going to watch. Think about it. This is a very simple problem.
((네가 하늘님이야?))
((이제 와서 관조만 하겠다니.))
((생각해봐. 이건 아주 단순한 문제야.))

What's wrong with me being happy?
((나는 왜))
((행복해지면 안 되지?))




Looking down at a young Ryu Sang, lying near death somewhere in the Hamatu plains, this So’ryu says: What am I living a life like this for?
((나는 뭐하러 이런 인생을 사는 걸까?))





Back in the present time and still in disguise, having parted ways with So'ryu, Ryu Sang and the rest of the group are walking down a street in the capital.

Sŏng (under his breath/quietly): Ryu Sang.
(류상.)

Ryu Sang (under his breath): I don't have a sword.
(난 검이 없는데.)


Sŏng: Just steal one.
(하나 뺏으면 되지.)

Harim: We've eaten at the same table so I don't want to fight them. .
(한솥밥 먹던 사이라 나는 싸우기 싫은데. . . .)


Sŏng: Let's see you say that when they've got their blades at your throat. Have we been had by Son So'ryu?
(그 목에 칼이 들어와도 그런 소리 하는지 보자.)
(우리, 손소류한테 당한 건가?)

Ryu Sang: I'm not even surprised.
(놀랍지도 않네.)


In the next moment group finds themselves under attack by guards of the Son house, and the volume ends with the grown-up apparition of So’ryu in the Hamatu plains, looking down at an unconscious (dying) young Ryu Sang.



Go to: Volume 15 Summary with Excerpts