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( friendr ⚃ riverview )

Friendr

«

»

» Age: 29
» Seeking: --
» Preferences: open
» Interests: no
» Bio: I hate these things.

base code by photosynthesis

Arthur

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You DO know the purpose of this thing is to actually find friends, I hope?

Never would've guessed.

Do you actually expect it to work, like that? Flies with honey, Arthur.

[ And yet, here he is. What in the fuck that actually says, he doesn't know. Doesn't matter. ]

It'll work as it is or it won't. I'd rather be honest about my feelings than list a bunch of bullshit.

This says absolutely nothing about you other than you're far too young to act twice your age.

What is that suppose to mean?

You sound like an old man trying to find a way to push the world away.

[ "Die alone" is really what he wants to say, but even for this, it feels too harsh. ]

You're not even thirty, go LIVE a little, would you? Even just reading this makes me feel ancient.

No, I'm a man that hates dating profiles and all their shitty setups.

No one forced you to read this.

[ HE CAN BE A CANTANKEROUS BASTARD IF HE WANTS TO GDI ]

Then why bother?

[ Of course he read it, you idiot. He cares. ]

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✔

So you have no interests? At all? You don’t like food, or music, or movies, or books. Or even knitting? Oragami? Nothing?!

Wait, or are you interests even more embarrassing? Are you a trainspotter? Stamp collecting? Oh, do you photograph manholes like that British politician?

I have interests. I just don't like listing them out like it's a dating profile.

It has the most platonic name of any would be dating app. I think it’s safe to assume you can just say you’re looking for friendship.

And interests help with common ground when it comes to potential friends.

That still sounds weird.

[ This whole process makes him feel awkward and uncomfortable. ]

I guess it works to make people ask what you’re interests are. But you might keep ending up with weirdos like me.

[ clearly she’s way too millennial for her own good. apps like this are normal. ]

Is that the way you describe yourself to strangers?

Depends on the stranger, but no, not always. It’s kind of true though. But I’m a friendly weirdo?

I think a lot of people here could be described that way.
So you're in good company.

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finally
someone who gets it

[ well damn ]

Starting to think I was the only one.

tell me about it
too many morons use this crapass app

Doesn't that make us morons too?

speak for yourself

[ sure, she's on here, but jess isn't dumb enough to fall for this goddamn joke. she's not going to spark up an actual connection. ]

I usually do.

[ Sorry, Jess, but ur still human. Connections will happen whether you want them or not. ]

[ gross. shut up. ]

the most you'll find on here is a hookup
if you're looking for more, you're a dumbass

[ You can't escape the truth!!! ]

The I guess it works out well for me.
Assuming that's why you're here and not just talking out your ass.

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