I mean, really??? What could have possibly motivated any thinking human being to take this seriously? And people sent him their life savings to spread the word, thinking they wouldn't need money in Heaven? How did people like that earn any money to begin with???
You know what? On October 11th, 2016, all unbelievers are going to be transfomed into delicious deep-fried mozzerella sticks. I'm as qualified as Harold Camping to make predictions and this one is just as likely. I'm basing it on the fact that I like the month of October, 11 is my lucky number, and I enjoy cheese. God wouldn't have made all these things true if he weren't sending me a sign!!!
All people who send me their life savings (or, hell, a tenner) will be given unlimited pots of marinara and ranch dressing once the blessed event occurs. Don't worry about how you'll get by without cash; after the Great Cheesening, we're going to use olives for currency.
You can contribute at www.givemeyourmoneyyoucredulousasshats.o
