KIND OF. But this is more me rambling about random stuff. I'm not even trying to sort anything out here, I just enjoy the sound of me typing.


Occasionally I entertain the thought of going back to CFUD. Because I miss playing certain characters or playing with certain people or certain dumb events. But then I stop and think of all the things about Camp that used to infuriate me... that still infuriate me and that crazy idea of returning instantly fades away again.

It's not just things like HOMG VOTING IS SO SRS BSNS or the assjerks that show up on F!S and the anonmemes. It's... this whole culture that I used to honestly enjoy a lot back in the day and now it just makes me :/. I remember the days when I'd hang out in mainchan, when you could have perfectly awesome 200-comment posts or locked posts, when crack/fun >>>> ICness and when we all were sort of small (lol "small) tight family. But Camp stopped being like that years ago and it will never go back to being that, so even if I returned I would still feel miserable and nostalgic over all those things, which is truly a shame since there are so many people there that will most likely never join Sabra (or other games) and... :( LE SADFACE. But such is life! This isn't really a source of angst to me, it's just "WELL SUCKS" and then I move on with my life and all is good again.

ALSO there is the matter of time... which also ties in with my Sabra ramble.

If I didn't have time to properly RP a year or two ago, I have EVEN LESS TIME NOW. I could seriously never properly keep up with Camp again, not even if I was just playing one character. With Sabra it's easier to manage because it's a considerably smaller game and time goes a lot slower, but even then I sometimes find myself wanting to scream a little.

I am terrible at time management, I am an epic procrastinator and I am a freelancer with a crazy employer who will call at 10pm and request a document be translated and formatted in the span of 2-3 hours. I can never compromise to be around for games because I never know what my schedule will be like! It's fun and awesome and always a surprise, but at the same time... balls for planning anything.

And then there's also my own drive to RP which is crazy bipolar. Some days I will spend 12 hours sitting here and juggling all my 3 characters and then I will feel no desire to play whatsoever for a week or two. And since Sabra sometimes requires so much team interaction and just... general being around-ness for plot and other stuff... ha ha ha, yeaaaah.

Which then takes me again to the dilemma of My Current Lineup. Let's take a look at it:

SHINRA: THE SAFEST OF ALL THREE... hilariously. I am feeling a lot more confident with him and the new Ophi system makes it easier to form relationships/do stupid things and also so that I can try and manage the rate at which I want his memories back. I am super zen with having like... a memory per month or something because most of his memories are completely Celty-centric (hello, my app pattern) but Celty is ker-pillared and the more I keep playing him without one the more emo he will get. SO NO MEMORIES ARE GREAT FOR AS LONG AS THERE IS NO CELTY.

But it also sucks a lot because I would fucking love to have a Celty and bawwww. 8'( But at least I don't feel like dropping him or anything so... yeah.

SHIKI: Some days I feel awesome with her and others it's just "wtf r u doin ame". COMPLICATED CHARACTER IS COMPLICATED and that is why I love her to pieces, but at the same time why things can be such a bitch at times. SHE JUST GOT ONE OF THE MEMORIES I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR FOR LIKE A YEAR but... I'm not even sure how to play it out or what to do without her afterwards because no Mikiyaaaa and that kind of takes out half of the fun of things. BALLS AGAIN. I think I'm just going to wait for Soujirou to win and see how I feel then re: Foremaning or something. IDK IDK I know I still have lots of things I want to do with her, but right now I'm not 100% sure how to go about anything and Delphinus wins all the time and aaaaahhh. 8/

SAKURA: Bawwww problem child. I was doing super awesomely with her and then... IDK, I think it was work overload that happened and now I am totally out of the loop with stuff. It's not just me failing at being around for Bunnycorn antics, but also failing at... playing Sakura, period. I USED TO BE SO GOOD AT THIS and then... idk what happened. She should be out and about making friends with everyone and being the adorable jesusprincess she is, but time constraints and my own fail cockblock and then I just feel bad. Not to mention I feel she has become incredibly boring and wah wah wah, cry moar Floor. Even Foremaning her would suck because lol Monoceros, so I either get my act together or... good end her, but that would also kind of suck for Syaoran because I don't want to force her to drop with me but a good end will mean no one else will ever be able to app her again and Syaoran will be Sakuraless again who knows for how long and baaaawwwwww.

I seriously think new characters could help a lot with my whole situation, but I need to decide who's getting the axe (temporary or not) first. Candidate #1 to app right now is Yui with a little bit of Hinata on the side. GINJI WOULD ALSO BE ONE but... I need to sit and read GB (which I don't have the time for) and I don't want to put myself in another situation where a Partner will never be apped. :[ (This could also happen with Yui or Hinata, but there are far more functional on their own than Ginji, SO!!!1).

Kallen is still lingering somewhere in there. I WANT HER and I should probs app while there is a Lelouch but aaaaahhh, need to stop apping codependent people!!!1 CURSE MY PINGS AND PATTERNS!!1 I just need to app someone who isn't in love with anyone else and who doesn't have a Partner and that's it.

(But those types barely ever hit my pings, lololol).

ALSO given all of the time issues I have previously mentioned I should probably just go back to being a 2-character player for a while, but dropping so hard. God bless the character limit.


Aaaand Vocadressing, hmm hmm. Technically dehiatused and I still love the place a lot, but I haven't had the chance to properly dive into it again due to work and life and work and sabra and apathy. Thankfully it is only a DR and it remains my non-stress happy place, so I will just take things slowly there and play it all by ear. GO GO STRATEGY.


Is that it? I think that's it.