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And I'm a goddamn fool
But then again, so are you
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Created on 2015-06-22 18:46:32 (#2418495), last updated 2015-09-28 (543 weeks ago)
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| Name: | Declan Lynch |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | Jun 18 |
before the world became bent on ending?
do you remember how
the water rose up to your elbows,
air thick with the scent
of turning earth?
there was a cyclone in chittagong the month
my brother was born and so i think
it’s why he lives this way:
his hands clenched up in fists
though there’s a smile on his face.
voice commanding, charismatic even
with his head bowed in defeat.
it’s like he knows how to be afraid
but he’s taught himself not to be
and i don’t know how he does it.
maybe he was born with the feeling
of the storm that carried him in
or maybe he’s just ambitious,
brimming with bravery. but i wouldn’t know
how that feels. i only know to speak
in unfinished dreams.
well, there was a heat wave in chicago
the summer that bore me
and we were in new york, of course,
so, logically, the death could not
have made its way into me.
but ma, inside me there’s always been a drought,
an absence of anything living
and i’m wondering if that’s why–
i’m combing my history to discover
what shaped me into this.
how it came to this.
if it was my ancestry, my DNA,
some long ago foretold fate.
(the cruelest truth, the thought
i’m trying not to uncover
is that i once had an unblemished soul
until i tore it apart.
not god, not the world, not another,
but i.
that i was born utterly whole.
that i ruined everything myself.)
-natural disaster, Amrita C.
"I'm not saying you’re wrong, Declan," Gansey said, "But you are not Niall Lynch, and you won’t ever be. And you’d get ahead a lot faster if you stopped trying."
Gansey released Ronan. Ronan didn't move, though, and neither did Declan, as if by saying their father's name, Gansey had cast a spell. They wore matching raw expressions. Different wounds inflicted by the same weapon.
"I'm only trying to help," Declan said finally, but he sounded defeated. There was a time, a few months ago, when Gansey would've believed him.
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