You know how there’s always this one person who brings out the best of you. The one who you can do anything or nothing with and have the best time of your life. The one that just being around them makes you feel beautiful and you know the one thing you want least in life is to lose them. Well that’s the perfect description of him. He always beings out the best of me and I’m my happiest and have the most fun with him. Just being around him makes me feel beautiful and special. It would tear me apart to lose him but I have this feeling that I won’t for a long time if ever. They say happiness isn’t finding a perfect person but seeing an...
PerfectionHave you ever felt perfection? I mean the perfect kind of perfection. I have. Perfection cannot truly be captured in words or pictures for they cannot do it justice. Simple perfection lies in walking down an empty country street on a summer night. The feel of the warm breeze tickling your skin and lifting your hair. Watching fireflies dart around you. Quiet enough to hear the whisper of the wind, your breath, your heartbeat. The only lighting being the moon and the stars giving everything a beautiful glow. It’s shear perfection, never to really be captured, just felt.This is the kind of perfection I feel with him. I was...
September 24, 2003 10:51Her reflection, they said
Would be good inspiration
She's done that before
Showed them the results
And they liked
'But try it differently
See yourself how we do'
So she tries again
Here's the resultsI see her
Staring back at me
It's dark
Darkness I like
But cut the light on
So she can see
Those eyes
Staring straight through
With all their colors
"Sexy" they call them
Dull I say
With the tiniest flicker
Of happiness within them
Her lips
Not smiling
'You should smile more
It's beautiful'
I hate my smile
She moves through the reflection
As always
Finding every flaw
Every flaw they somehow
Don't see
All they see is good...
The knife
Locked away
In a box
Under her bed
So she can't use it
Anymore
She knows the feel of it
All too well
Black handle
The blade is sharp
Once used
To cut the demons
Out of her
But always
They came back
Now she's searching for
Another way
One that doesn't hurt
The ones she loves
And doesn't cause
Marks that will never
Go away
Yes, she locked it away
Of her own free will
Promised she would try
In the hopes
She would not take it back out
For she does not wish
To slice away
At her life anymore
So she locked it all away
Papers fluttering in the breeze
Covering pink walls
Hiding the color
She once loved
Underneath pictures
Of famous people
Guitar players
Other musicians too
People she looks up to
Wanting to be like them
The soft scent of vanilla
Fills the room
To comfort her
Radio turned up loud
Playing only her favorite songs
Pictures of them everywhere
Covering her shelves
And in the corners
Of her mirrors
Her two neices
Who she loves as her own
And her friends
The ones that care
That are there
When she needs them
She's spent fifteen years
In this room
Making it her own
Now they're getting a new place
She'll have a bigger room
More space
No more stupid p...
Inside
August 27, 2003
2:10 pmLook at her
Dark clothes
Black fingernails
But she's all smiles
So happy
You'd hardly believe
It was true
But it must be
See she is always
With these happy people
Surely she's happy too
Look she's laughin now
It's easy to blieve
Long as you don't look
Into her eyes
They tell the truth
The truth no one knows
That it is all a lie
Inside she's crying
Slowly dieing
But if you don't look there
She's happy
Perfectly normal
But inside
She needs help
But she don't know
How to ask
So she hides it all
Deep inside
Where no one will see
Cause we're all too afraid
Of what we might see
If we look inside
I hate it when my brother picks a fight,
He always hurts me deep inside,
I run to my room and slam the door,
So he cant hurt me physicly anymore.I try to pretend i dont hear them yelling and cussing,
And reach up and touch the tears from my eyes,
As i open my window and climb outside,
Its the only way to get away from the fights,
I run as far as i can so i cant hear the screamin.I try to find somewhere to be alone,
I try to make the tears dissappear,
I know theres no one i can go to,
And i realise im all alone,
They dont know how much they hurt me,
When i go home i find out
my dad and brother were in another fist fight.
Why is the sky blue?
Because when I look around
and see how lonely I am
thats how I feel.
Im always by myself
cause whenever someone trys
to get close to me I push them away.Why is the grass green?
Cause when I think I remember thats how rich I was.
I used to have all kinds of friends
but then my brothers reputation caught up with me.
They said if id change they'd look past it
but I didnt want to live a lie and be like them.Why is the night sky black?
Cause thats the darkness that surrounds me
I have no one to talk to
cause my friends never come to visit me
I wouldnt let them if they tried.
This darkness that is around me is slipping away
Theres a new world coming and i dont know what to say
Theres a light surrounding me where the darkness was
And its leaving me helpless their ripping away my disguise
Now they'll see the real me the ugly life i cant hide from
My whole worlds dissappearing before my eyes
Then i think and realised im changing anyway
And i feel as though im loved for the first time
It seems like my worlds gone when really it just changed
1/3/03 1:20 amIf there was no tomorrow
would you still treat me so bad?
If there was no tomorrow
would you still act like I'm not a person?
If there was no tomorrow
would you realize just who I am?
If there was no tomorrow
would you stop actin like I'm not there?
If there was no tomorrow
would you take back all the words you said?
If there was no tomorrow
would I mean shit to you?
If there was no tomorrow
would you still hate me so bad?
If there was no tomorrow
would everything finally be alright?
If there was no tomorrow
would you apoligise for all you done?
Or would you stay the same
and waste today with no tomorrow to come?
Tell me caus...
1/4/03 2:38 amWhy must everything confuse me
Why must i lie and hide the true me
Why am i only expressed in my written words
Why cant i say the things i feel
Or the things i want to say
Why can i never write my feelings to people
Why only in song or poetry
Why can i never find peace
Why cant i express myself more freely
Why do i feel as though nobody likes me
Why cant i believe people when they compliment me
Why do i sit here and type this knowing no one will read it
Why, why are so many of my questions unanswered
Why, why am i this way
Why cant i find inspiration when im holding a pencil
Why is my only inspiration found while sitting at a...
1/4/03 2:50 amYou say I'm beautiful,
And that you love me.
I say I'm not,
And surely you cant.You say I'm somethin special,
And that you think I'm the best.
I say its not true,
And to hell with that.You say you want me with you,
And to just be with me.
I say why would you,
And whats the point in that.Its obvious we disagree,
You say I'm nice and sweet,
And a darlin thing,
And that you love me,
Want me to be yours.I say no I'm not I'm a bitch,
Why ya callin me darlin,
I dont deserve that,
Or your love,
I want to be yours,
But you deserve better.You say I'm wrong,
I'm all you want.
I wonder why,
And I give in,
And let you win,
Yet again,
Cau...
1/4/03 2:43 amYou hurt me and you tell me lies
You take my world away, you try to make me cry
You put me down every chance that you get
You do all you can to make me miserable
You make sure you ruin my life any way you can
You go ahead make fun of me see if i care
You are stupid ignorant fool
You make me hate your guts
You dont care cause you hate mine to
You must not have no pride the way you act
You treat me like im a peice of shit
You make me have so many feelings of anger
You aint nothin but a peice of shit yourself
You can put me down all you want but its only hurting yourself
You aint worth a damn to me anymore
You dont deserve all o...
1/4/03 3:02 amI sit here all alone,
And I think and I wonder,
Why am I always finding myself alone,
Why does everybody seem to hate me so?And I think about the times we had,
Just me and him, the one I love,
But then that just makes me sadder,
For like everyone else he left me for someone new.And then I think about the times we had,
Just me and her, my best friend,
And how we had so much fun,
Til she found new friends and left me behind.And then I think about the times we had,
Just me and him, my brother,
And how we laughed and played together,
Until we got older and he got gangster.And then I think about the times we had,
Just me and her, ...
1/4/03 3:08 amI live in a world of fantasy,
Its the best place to be.
In my little world of fantasy,
Nobody hurts me, everybody loves me.
I live with dragons, fairys, mermaids,
And more, anything my head comes up with.
I often go to my world of fantasy,
And shut the real world out,
Cause the real world hurts me and hates me,
So I hate it in turn.
I like to visit my world of fantasy,
And leave everybody else behind,
They dont deserve my world of fantasy,
Because they dont deserve a thing of mine.
I like my world of fantasy,
Its a beautiful place,
I fly through the sky,
On my silver dragon,
I ride through the meadows,
On the back of my unico...
1/4/03 2:28 amListen closely my friends,
And I'll tell you a tale,
About a little town called Silverhill,
Not many people know of it but soon they will.Back before it was known as Silverhill,
There was a girl that lived there,
She had eyes that shone like the moon,
And was the most beautiful thing around.She was happy go-lucky, not a care in the world,
She was beautiful and everybody told her,
She just said no im not that beautiful.
And no matter what happend she couldnt give a damn.Then one day she fell deeply in love with a boy.
No one in town thought he deserved her,
And at first they didnt know quite why.
But she knew in her heart he ...
Dark and lost at hell's back door
She's not the girl you knew before
Looking past her eyes you see
The person that she used to be
Turn away and look once more
Remember what you saw before
At a glance her eyes are empty
Thoughts of self constantly shifting
The tension burns inside her soul
Begging her to lose control
Now your scared of what you see
I'm sorry you looked inside of me
There's beauty in the words
that I hear from your mouth,
there's beauty in the thoughts
that you think every day.
The beauty is me.
The beauty is us.
This is us.
An endless aray of who did what said when and where?
The amounts of glances and lips that we read
Nights stayed up, not talking- love? Whatever was going on- it's confusing
I'm lost in these thoughts, that are new
Buzzing, it's in my ears, seeping out
Even in my fingertips, there's you- us
I? on my own, everythings bold
Your bold. I'm italics in your eyes For you to keep
But you-
you're mine so how can I be yours?
did you have me first?
or did i have you?are you slippin...
Restlessly hoping to drift to sleep
Knowing I've fallen far too deep
This hell is the only life I've known
So bad that I've come to call it my homeDifferent things will make you see
How much better life can be
As they start to haunt your mind
You burn to leave this hell behindSearching for answers you suddenly stop
Seeing how far your life has dropped
All the answers to the question why
Are all the things that you denyYou look at yourself and what you've become
This blackened reflection makes you numb
Your train of thought stops in it's tracks
Despirately trying to help you relaxYou become lost in this hell you have found
Eyes wide open yo...
PerfectionHave you ever felt perfection? I mean the perfect kind of perfection. I have. Perfection cannot truly be captured in words or pictures for they cannot do it justice. Simple perfection lies in walking down an empty country street on a summer night. The feel of the warm breeze tickling your skin and lifting your hair. Watching fireflies dart around you. Quiet enough to hear the whisper of the wind, your breath, your heartbeat. The only lighting being the moon and the stars giving everything a beautiful glow. It’s shear perfection, never to really be captured, just felt.This is the kind of perfection I feel with him. I was...
Current Residence: North Carolina Favourite genre of music: Rock, Blues, Country, Rap, Classic Rock, Punk, Ska, Reggae, most everything Operating System: xp Favourite cartoon character: Spongebob Squarepants and Bart Simpson Personal Quote: I want to disappear....................I see green people
Favourite Movies
Dazed and Confused
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Lynard Skynard, Sublime, Linkin Park, Good Charlotte, Jewel, Third Eye Blind, Evanesence, Eminem
:icondaphantom:=:icontornbeauty:=:iconfragile-angel::devfragile-angel: :heart: :devattackbyman:
:devfragile-angel: & :devbabywolf: friends forever~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The ones that watch me (minus a couple for reasons), view them, love them, they're worth it.:icondreadz::iconLordOfSenses::iconLucis::iconnbaAngel::iconxbleedingcherryx::iconVampireLestat::iconbite06me::iconkhgarner::iconattackbyman::icontornbeauty::icongoldeneagle::iconXiasiaDeigo::iconjulyshelied::iconebykat::icongmtb::iconbabywolf::iconschool::icondisturbed-angel::iconranjha::iconeclipz04::iconerygothicpoet::blowkiss::hug::heart::kiss: to all of the above....
I may continue my story some today, I may I'm not sure...I kinda want to, have something I want to put in it...but I'm not sure I can right now. We're leaving tonight, going halfway across the state to see Matt. I probably won't be able to speak to him. I'll be in quite a condition tomorrow and sunday...probably stay in bed once we get home. This past week has been tough, major headaches everyday, moods changing more often than is normal for me, and sleeping all the time...about 12 or more hours a day, depending on what time i get home, tuesday and thursday was aobut 12, the rest not counting today were about 14, 15, unusual for me. A...
Go look see pictures. Didn't think to label em there but the first one is me, then my friend Michael, Jason, Me & Whitney, Me & Jason, and Me again. Have bunches more in my yahoo photos. Got 30 pics developed today. Wanna see more just ask. My Live Journal Check out this wonderful photo manipulation Wandering Eye its by :iconXiasiaDeigo: while you're at it check out her whole gallery, it's worth your time. go look at this just a little something I did with a friend of mine.Eddy's gonna try and give mama the 20th off. If he does we might be leaving at 3:30 that morning to go halfway across the state in order to visit Matt at prison. ...
just wanted to stop by all of my devWATCHERS and wish them..
Happy Holidays!
may all of your wishes and dreams come true.
thank you so much for your support. your support has helped me a lot this past year and added more inspiration to my life to keep on writing.
thank you.
just going around to say thank you for adding me to your deviantwatch and providing me wonderful comments on my work.
your support has helped me a lot this past year and added more inspiration to my life to keep on writing.
thank you.