WELCOME TO DAD JOKES • WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? • SIGNAL IS EVERYTHING •
A guy walks into a bar, orders a double whiskey neat and drinks it in one go. And he asks the bartender:
- How tall is a penguin?
And the bartender tells him:
- I do not know, half a meter?
The guy orders another double whiskey, drinks it in one go again.
- And the tallest penguin, how tall to you think it can get - he asks.
And the bartender tells him:
- Well. at most one meter, I do not know.
So the guy orders another double whiskey on rocks, drinks it: - Man, I think I ran over a nun.
A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says, "Free Beer For Life If You Can Pass Our Test!"
He asks the bartender,
"What's this 'test' you have?"
The bartender says,
"Well first, you gotta chug a gallon of our special pepper tequilla. Next, you have to go out back and pull the sore tooth out of our angry alligator. And finally, we have an old woman up stairs who's never slept with a man, and you gotta go make things right with her."
Laughing, the man exclaims,
"OK bartender! Let's do this test!"
The bartender hands him a gallon of pepper tequilla, and before he could warn him, the man starts chugging it. Teary eyed and near the point of fainting, the man finishes the gallon and slams it on the counter. Stunned, the bartender leads him out back to the alligator. A few minutes pass, and after a bunch of screaming and clatter, the man stumbles back in. His shirt is torn up and his body is bleeding profusely. He stares at the bartender and says,
"OK bartender, where's the old lady with the sore tooth?"