Shadows Deep

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/who-you-callin-pro-2026

You all know I only feature professionally made Wrecks here on CW. The irony, of course, is that I mistake pro for amateur way more often than the other way around! Heh. So anyway, while I've been told that today's Wrecks are indeed made by real, honest-to-goodness, got-paid-for-their-efforts cake decorators, part of me still refuses to believe it.

I'm still posting them, though, because they're all wedding cakes. Served at people's actual weddings. And even if one was actually made by Aunt Mildred who calls herself a pro but really isn't, I think the world deserves to see this cautionary tale.

Plus, you know, it's funny.

Whoa, thank goodness for fresh flowers, am I right? Too bad they didn't have enough to hide the fact that the cake is being served on a giant dry-erase board, though.

I also like the gentle placement of the topper. It really screams "finesse."

This was taken during The Great Icing Shortage of '73 - back when grooms were stayin' alive with their groovy butterfly collars and the bridesmaids wore Frigidaire green. Looks like they ran out of flowers here too, though, and raided the fruit bowl instead.

Hey, "Love to Highway", right? And getting married doesn't mean the groom has to give up his matchbox cars.

And now, a haiku for you, wedding cake:

red bleeding ribbon
did the cake get in a fight?
lumpy icing tiers

And finally, before I show you this last Wreck, I feel I should reiterate that the bride herself *assured* me she paid actual money to an actual professional to make it. Honest. Really.

Now, in the baker's defense, I'm told the insides of all the cake tiers were raw.

How is that a defense, you ask?

Well, er...

Oh! I know! Imagine how hard it must've been to stack all those raw cake tiers! Eh? Yeah, I like to look on the sunny side of things. Which is good, because this cake is so sunny I can hear my retinas sizzling.

Hey, Grace C., Tony M., Anony M., Anony #2., & Anita R., "sizzling retinas" would be a terrible band name. Really. Just awful.

*****

P.S. Speaking of things that make your head hurt, a friend recently got me this gel cap for my migraines, and sweet icy Stay Puft, y'all, it's amazing:

Migraine Hot/Cold Gel Cap
 

 I have a huge head and a lot of hair, so it's pretty snug on me, but the extra pressure with the cold is heavenly during a migraine. I used to hold a cold pack and keep shifting it around from side to side, but this wraps my entire skull in a cooling hug. Ahhhh so good.

I keep the gel cap sealed in the fridge all the time now, so I can grab it as soon as a headache starts up. The cold only lasts 15-20 minutes, but it's 1000% worth it in my book, highly recommend.

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/who-you-callin-pro-2026

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/evolution-of-the-anniversary-cake-2026

Tomorrow is John's and my wedding anniversary, so I've been thinking: Remember how the first few years you always celebrate at some fancy-schmancy restaurant?

("Lhappy Ammversary" is totally how I'm saying it from now on.)

And you not only remember the day - you even remember how many days it's been.

After a while you dial down the festivities, though, and maybe just bring home some take-out and a cake:

(The urge to scratch in an "I" at the end there is overwhelming.)
(YOU'RE WELCOME, tech guys.)

Past the ten year mark you both might start to get a little fuzzy on when and what exactly you're celebrating:

"Here's a cake. Hope I got one of those days right."

"Who are you?"

But hey, at least it's happy.

"TMI, mom & dad. TMI!!"

John and I are still a long way off, but I hear making it to your 50th anniversary is a real education:

"Presenting the 2026 graduates of the Aniversity... of LUUURVE."

So, John, sweetie, Happy Arricorz.

(Changed my mind; THIS is how I'm saying it from now on.)

And here's to 50 more Arricorzes, as we learn to hold on to what's most important:

...like how this baker managed to misspell "I" before someone told him to fix it - and then still missed the "you."

YOW.

Thanks to Tina G., Sonia Y., Kari J., Natalie L., Jessi C., Ann G., Lisa M., & Johnell. Yow guys are the BEST.

*****

P.S. Here's one of John's favorite things I've ever made him: this rainbow butterfly wreath:

I used this 84-pc butterfly set, which I know you crafters are gonna love:

(3D Butterfly Wall Magnet Set)

They're double-sided and come with both magnets and stickers. Definitely browse the projects in the reviews, there are so many cool ideas - and the set is on sale right now for $9.99!

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/evolution-of-the-anniversary-cake-2026

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/hunker-down-and-write-it-out-2026

Sometimes I feel like a cake archeologist, minions. I inspect the clues, sift through the remains, and try to figure out what happened in the past.

For example....

Something terrible has happened here.

Some events are pretty straightforward:

The old "ran out of icing" story.

There's also the classic "Too lazy to change the icing tip after piping the border":

Or its variation, "Too lazy to change the icing tip after piping the roses":

Here we see evidence of significant toothpick scraping, often indicative of the "I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here" dynasty of the Mid-Graduation era:

Ahhh. Magnificent.

You know that thing in restaurants where everyone is singing Happy Birthday to some stranger three tables over, and you all just mumble your way through the name part?

This is that, in cake form:

Sadly some mysteries will never be solved. Instead we'll be left to forever wonder... the 5th what?

I think I've cracked the code on this next one, though. Here's a recreation of the ACTUAL EVENTS, as played by hired actors in my head:

"What do you mean, 'last minute?' Of course we custom-ordered your cake, Miranda! Weeks ago! This was totally planned!"

While we'll never know for sure what happened to wrecks of the past, one thing is certain: the longer you look at this one, the funnier it gets:

Seriously.

I'm crying.

(I wonder who did the bigger spit-take: me or the baker.)

Thanks to Tex, Betsy P., Diamond, Philip L., Allison P., M.R., Lauren P., Miranda, & Kelsie L. for digging these up.

*****

P.S. It's never too early to start decorating for spooky season, and these stick-on bats were my biggest hit last year:

3D Halloween Bats, Exterior Grade, 60 pc set

They're made of sturdy plastic, come in 4 different sizes, and have adhesive pads to easily stick them up anywhere in or outside your home. (I put a whole belfry of them on our front door.) (I don't know if "belfry" is right, but I'm going with it. :D) Even better, the whole 60 piece set is only $10 Prime!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/hunker-down-and-write-it-out-2026