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★004;; hey look, I wrote a thing.
Nov. 16th, 2014 10:07 pmToday, I finally managed to type down my thoughts, and it felt really good. I actually like the outcome, so I'm re-posting this from my personal tumblr.
( fairytale )
( fairytale )
★003;; Oh life...
Nov. 14th, 2014 04:51 pmI keep thinking "Today, I'll write something!" (not a blog entry but a poem or a story) and then I end up not even opening Word. (sigh) It used to be such a huge outlet for my emotions, but I just can't seem to find the patience to actually type something down these days (> _ <)
I think this whole mood swing-thing is taking a toll on my body as well. I can feel the beginning of a cold which is getting worse each day and is sadly affecting my throat as well (; _ ; ) I wanted to get my Youtaite Secret Santa song done asap, but I can't sing at the moment. Same goes for the Seventh Heaven collab with Rin and Joji (I'm sorry sweeties). (u _ u)
Btw, can I just let this sit here and flail about how adorable he is? XD It's always nice to know that even band members who "made it" still fangirl/fanboy about other band members. It must be amazing to play alongside your favorite bands and vocalists who influenced your singing so much, so I totally get his point. Poor Masato, I hope he'll find the courage to talk to them one day (laugh) ♥
I think this whole mood swing-thing is taking a toll on my body as well. I can feel the beginning of a cold which is getting worse each day and is sadly affecting my throat as well (; _ ; ) I wanted to get my Youtaite Secret Santa song done asap, but I can't sing at the moment. Same goes for the Seventh Heaven collab with Rin and Joji (I'm sorry sweeties). (u _ u)
Btw, can I just let this sit here and flail about how adorable he is? XD It's always nice to know that even band members who "made it" still fangirl/fanboy about other band members. It must be amazing to play alongside your favorite bands and vocalists who influenced your singing so much, so I totally get his point. Poor Masato, I hope he'll find the courage to talk to them one day (laugh) ♥
★002;; mood swings. always.
Nov. 11th, 2014 06:27 pmSigh. My first real entry here isn't exactly the happiest, but what can you do?
I've had horrible mood swings during these last days--going from "OH GOD I'M SO HYPER TODAY IS THE BEST DAY EVER" to "fuck the world" in seconds. I've tried to barricade myself in the bedroom as to not take it out on Christian too much, but it's hard when you live together...
The fact that I have nothing to do for uni doesn't exactly help. I know, I know, it sounds weird... but uni is a wonderful way for me to stop overthinking my life and instead focusing on research and stuff that takes up my thinking capacities, you know? So when I have too much free time (4 days weekend and only 3 modules this semester) it has a very negative effect on my mood. Don't get me wrong, I complain like every "normal" person when I don't have free time, but ultimately, I think it's best for me if I have less free time.
Sooo... yupp. I feel useless, I'm super irritable at the moment, and I often wish I could still go to therapy but the place I went to before was for teenagers (up to 21 years) so I can't go there anymore and in Germany, it takes forever until you get an appointment with a new therapist. On top of that, I'd feel bad for "taking away" someone's place who might need it more than me--I only have depressive phases and a problem with not being able to relax, which is not exactly life threatening.
If you see me fangirl a lot on twitter/tumblr/wherever, know that I do this as a sort of self-defence mechanism. Always have, always will, I guess. It works well because I can pretend that I have happy thoughts. I don't want to do that here though, because what would be the point in opening another blog if I just keep lying to you all?
I'll try to keep my ranting on twitter to a minimum. Sorry for everything. I love you all ♥
I've had horrible mood swings during these last days--going from "OH GOD I'M SO HYPER TODAY IS THE BEST DAY EVER" to "fuck the world" in seconds. I've tried to barricade myself in the bedroom as to not take it out on Christian too much, but it's hard when you live together...
The fact that I have nothing to do for uni doesn't exactly help. I know, I know, it sounds weird... but uni is a wonderful way for me to stop overthinking my life and instead focusing on research and stuff that takes up my thinking capacities, you know? So when I have too much free time (4 days weekend and only 3 modules this semester) it has a very negative effect on my mood. Don't get me wrong, I complain like every "normal" person when I don't have free time, but ultimately, I think it's best for me if I have less free time.
Sooo... yupp. I feel useless, I'm super irritable at the moment, and I often wish I could still go to therapy but the place I went to before was for teenagers (up to 21 years) so I can't go there anymore and in Germany, it takes forever until you get an appointment with a new therapist. On top of that, I'd feel bad for "taking away" someone's place who might need it more than me--I only have depressive phases and a problem with not being able to relax, which is not exactly life threatening.
If you see me fangirl a lot on twitter/tumblr/wherever, know that I do this as a sort of self-defence mechanism. Always have, always will, I guess. It works well because I can pretend that I have happy thoughts. I don't want to do that here though, because what would be the point in opening another blog if I just keep lying to you all?
I'll try to keep my ranting on twitter to a minimum. Sorry for everything. I love you all ♥
★001;; a fresh start
Nov. 10th, 2014 06:41 pmHey everyone ☆
It's been a while since I tried to keep a real "blog" (that is not a tumblr (laugh)), but I've missed blogging about my life and dreamwidth looks a lot like lj used to look when I first joined, so I thought I'd try to start again~!
...wow, that was a long sentence. Anyway, this blog will stay public for now, so if you want to follow me, please do so ★ Any selfies and pictures will go to my new instagram~
It's been a while since I tried to keep a real "blog" (that is not a tumblr (laugh)), but I've missed blogging about my life and dreamwidth looks a lot like lj used to look when I first joined, so I thought I'd try to start again~!
...wow, that was a long sentence. Anyway, this blog will stay public for now, so if you want to follow me, please do so ★ Any selfies and pictures will go to my new instagram~
