1. |
conception
02:11
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[sample transcription]
now you're afraid because you know the big part of you is a wolf
that has the courage to bite off its own hand to save itself from
the trap of a wrong love.
that's why there's been no woman since that wrong woman, okay?
i'm looking where i have to to be a bride
(a bride without a head)
a wolf without a foot!
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2. |
all she ever wanted
01:41
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isn’t this all she ever wanted?
isn’t this all i get?
isn’t this all she ever wanted?
isn’t this all i get?
find me in the usual place
you decide the time
when they find me i’ll be on my knees
and you’ll have already died
isn’t this all she?
isn’t this all she ever wanted?
is this just what i get?
a part of me finds a thrill in this
but it hasn’t surfaced yet
find me on the side of the street
scared of nothing for a change
when you find me don’t call my name
cause i know its the same
this is just all she
isn’t this all she ever wanted?
isn’t this all i get?
id rather a kiss that’s cold and clumsy
than whatever you’re pitchin’
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3. |
he loves me
03:04
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levi came home so late
threw his shotgun on the sofa
so far i can’t tell what he wants
he lays me down onto the bed
pillow just tucked under my neck
now he’s feelin’ up my bump again
when my lungs give out
and my eyes can’t see
i know deep down
he loves me
he leaves me alone for a
few days at a time now
i wonder if he finds me disgusting
drippin’ fluids while im writhing
my friends say i should see someone else
if only they could see what he does for me
when my lungs give out
and my eyes can’t see
i know deep down
he loves me
when my lungs give out
and my eyes can’t see
i know deep down
he loves me
what’s some more claw marks on my waist?
what’s some more bruise marks on my face?
there’s a new nursery just for me
what’s some more shifting in my hips?
what’s some more damage to my tits?
who cares if i’m unrecognizable by anyone
except for him?
when my lungs give out
and my eyes can’t see
i know deep down
he loves me
when my lungs give out
and my eyes can’t see
i know deep down
he loves me
when my face erodes
and he’s not listened to me
i know deep down
he ..... ..
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4. |
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no one in this town has any idea
that you exist
no one knows just what you keep
in your back office
no one ever asks you
more than you lead on
and the sun goes down
way later
than you’d expect
it starts to make you angry
and it starts to make you jealous
that you wasted your whole life
just to live in silent practice
of a species that has long since
been left out of fashion
in a double-parked pickup truck
next to the gas station
almost abandoned
now you’re boiling water
staring at the bubbles
hoping in some fucked up way
they could become a part of you
maybe you felt your flesh burn
maybe you felt your skin crawl
maybe you’d feel closer to people
your boyfriend et. al
so you’re up late having a painful time
on the couch where you first met him
nightmares, searing visions of you
trapped with no one else
you work so hard to carve out
a new image and a name
but you clam up whenever
someone decides to
run their mouth
when things get worse
as they always tend to
all at once i’m by your side
a loyal dog at its owner’s hinds
animals hunt in the woods
they never think twice
cancel all my plans
operate on instincts tonight
find yourself back again
in the forest of your thoughts
are you feeling human?
are you feeling human?
are you feeling human?
oh, honey i guess not
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5. |
sorry mom, sorry god
03:17
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all i know how is to play pretend
its easier when you’re facin’ a crowd
we cried more than we made love
tried to move on, failed and found you
yet again
so sorry mom, sorry god
its just time for me to move on
sorry mom, sorry god
its just time that i moved on
so sorry mom, sorry god
all the people in copley square
walk aimlessly
i look down, give ‘em a sidewalk stare
no need to fade no need to try and
make excuses
no one here will notice me
so sorry mom, sorry god
its just time that i carried on
sorry mom, sorry god
its just time for me to move on
so sorry mom, sorry god
don’t blame me don’t shame me
i know how this looks now
pretty bad
i’ll tell you all about it
if i see you again
but i’m not sure
when i’ll come around
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ceej wolf Boston, Massachusetts
trans lesbian from new england writing queer songs
profile picture by tealchimera.com
ceej wolf recommends:
log off and go outside!!
by NOISE ARTIFACT
check out my wife's record as well......
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RIP Everender i love you forever
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i play drums in Perennial. Modernism is our latest release, grab it now!
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