The Cross on a Hill Far Away

I have been home this couple of days, recuperating from minor surgery. I am physically okay, just that I have problems walking, standing, sitting or changing positions.

Since I am here I figure I should give something of a brief summary of my recent thoughts..

.. Each day, I face 4-7 sets of clients from all walks of life in the course of my daily work. Thus I have become quite conscious of my internet presence and how it might affect the clients I see at work.

For example, my cubicle proudly houses an 8R collection of my best prints and so far nearly every client who has seen me has made some sort of comment. I am appreciative, but this is not what this post is about. I do have a slight phobia that someone I meet in the course of my work might actually know me as one of my online identities. I have on occasion, met with some mentally unsound characters as I go about my work. I do fear the day that something I've said or posted online might be used against me.

Hence my relative silence.

Granted, I do not feel very much for certain things that used to affect me.

I guess I have reached a point in my life where I just want my life to be as simple and uncluttered as possible.

I just want to tend to my daily quota of clients, work as hard as I need to, do as much housework as I can and then to be able to sleep peacefully every night.

I am not God. I cannot bless anyone, cure anyone, or heal anyone and I do not wish to constantly be approached and obliged to do any 'burden-sharing' unless I see someone or something that compels me. I am loathe to see someone share about a problem as though it is everyone else's fault.

I am human too, and I have my own issues. I have responsibility. I have a life. I have a marriage and I have family.

I only manage through prayer.

I've stopped trying to force what cannot be changed. Essentially, I have stopped struggling to function on human terms. I have chosen to live each day on God's terms.

I am conscious that I might sound like I'm arrogant, self-centred and unabashed, but really, I have reached a point where I realise my human failings and limits and have decided that to preserve whatever integrity or soundness of mind (sometimes!) I am not going to focus on myself or anyone else, but on the Cross on a hill far away.


- 7 May 2009 9:55am -