One love (movie)

We went to an actual movie theater for the first time in I don't know how long! It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and we decided, "What the heck, let's go see the 'Bob Marley movie.'" 

We've been fans/followers since the album Exodus came out in the late 1970s. It was and still is a favorite. For some reason I also always remember reading a book on Rastafarianism either as I ended high school or just after. It was one of the few books I remember buying at the time. I suppose the fact my lovely wife's initials are J.A.H. has also endeared us to the movement. 

As for the movie Bob Marley: One Love... I really, really wanted this to be a good movie that did not disappoint. However, I feel this critic aptly summed it up as "a sanitized take on an icon." Here's a snippet from their full review:

Marley’s status as an icon is rightly celebrated, as is his artistry, meaning this will receive a warm reception to hard core fans. However, the absence of the grittier elements of his legacy means this isn’t the whole story. 

Yeah... it's not like it was a bad movie... but I feel he did not receive his full due as a revolutionary and was hoping it would dig a little deeper. I suppose that's how these things go though.

It was still a nice way to spend an afternoon with the one I love, reminisce a bit about our past, and take in some great reggae music. Certainly I was hoping for a bit more, but it's not like that should be dismissed... and maybe Bob would have been cool if that were enough for everyone...

Running movies & documentaries

How do I stay motivated as an athlete? Well, I'm glad you asked... and also acknowledged that I am, in fact, an athlete! ;) 

We started watching running movies/documentaries several years ago on nights before our "long run" (usually Friday night). It really helps with mental preparation, and most of these are also encouraging that not every athlete is a professional or "world class."

So, here is a partial list of the running movies & documentaries we have watched. They're not necessarily in any kind of order, but the first twenty or so are some of our favorites. There are also a few others that I've either not written down or forgotten.

• The Barkley Marathons (2014)
• Spirit of the Marathon I (2007)
• Spirit of the Marathon II (2013)
• Boston: the Documentary (2017)
• Karl Metzler: Made to Be Broken (2017)
• Free To Run (2016)
• Desert Runners (2013)
• Gun Runners (2015)
• 3100: Run and Become (2018)
• The Human Race
• Marathon Men
• 100 Miles to 40
• Found on 49
• Rx Run
• From Fat to Finish
• The Why: Running 100 Miles
• Run Free: The True Story of Caballo Blanco
• Brittany Runs A Marathon (2019)
• Breaking 2 (Youtube)

• Run for Your Life (2008)
• The Long Green Line (2008)
• The Jericho Mile (1979)
• Without Limits (1998)
• Showing Up (2016)
• Six Million Steps (?)
• Mile... Mile and A Half
• Prefontaine
• Chariots of Fire (1981)

• Transcend (Youtube)
• The Mountain Runners (2012)
• Where Dreams Go To Die (2017)
• Running on The Sun: The Badwater 135
• Unbreakable: The Western States 100
• Ultra Marathon Man: Dean Karnazes
• Life In A Day: The Western States 100 Mile Endurance Run
• Fifty: The Movie (2016) (Youtube)

Enjoy!

The first major snow and anna is 11

We had the first significant snowfall of the season on the granddaughter's birthday this year. 

I was kind of hoping I'd be able to put the snowblower away without having to use it. No such luck. Sunday morning we got 3-4 inches of light powder. It made for easy blowing, and wasn't even terrible to run in. However, I have a feeling the ground is going to be dirty-white for another month or so. More snow is expected today.

The granddaughter was pretty excited that it snowed for her birthday though! She turned 11 Sunday, and it's hard to believe she will be driving in 5 years. Oh my! 

She spent the night with us Friday. We took her to Target to pick out a birthday present. Saturday she asked to go to the pet store to look at animals, then to Claire's for some more presents. Then we joined up with her family at the movie theater and watched Sing 2. It was good.

I don't know if she's too old for parties or they just didn't have one. Last night we went to their house and gave her the one surprise present we got her: one of those Snapchat picture books from when we took her to the Cincinnati zoo. We also got to see the giant donut she got for her birthday.

And... that's about that. It didn't seem like much of a celebration for her, and I felt bad about that. I pray it will be a good year though. This past year she played basketball for the 2nd year, played with another schools volleyball team, played Y volleyball, and seems to have come out of her shell a little more. She's growing up so fast. ...

***

"May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed." - Psalm 20:4

Postcards from babylon

"If Christianity is not seen as countercultural and even subversive within a military-economic superpower, you can be sure it is a deeply compromised Christianity." - Brian Zahnd

'Postcards From Babylon: Evangelicals in the Shadow of Christian Nationalism' is a documentary produced by David & Kathi Peters and is based on pastor and author Brian Zahnds book 'Postcards from Babylon: The Church in American Exile.' It features the likes of Shane Claiborne, Walter Brueggemann, Lisa Sharon Harper, Kristin Kobes Du Mez, Scott Hancock, Pete Wehner, and Jonathan Merritt.

The film begins with Zahnd in the middle of his 500-mile pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago in Spain. The title comes from the assertion that "America is not a kind of biblical Israel, but a kind of biblical Babylon." In other words, maybe we're not as godly of a culture/country as we think we are! Brian sets out to not only expose the dangers we seem to be leaning into, but also show the beauty of living a truly Christian life.

I believe it's an hour and 18 minutes long, and we've watched it twice so far. The first time we streamed it for like $3.99 on some random service, and last weekend we found it for free on another.

I don't feel it necessary to share so much about the flick (you can watch it). This is what transpired within me as I watched it though. It inspired me in two ways: 

1. As someone who has always leaned toward prophet gifting, I felt a pull to get back into some sort of ministry. I always think of it in terms of pastoring, and I would love to be able to pastor a small church again. I don't know if it will ever happen, but I connect with Brian and his conviction for truth-telling. 
2. There's also a part of me that would really like to hike one of these pilgrimages. A guy who comes into my gym has done it several times and it sounds so cool. The fact that Zahnd said he was doing this particular one for his 60th birthday... That will be me next year! Hmm. It would be quite a stretch for me (and I can't imagine stretching that far)... but it's something to dream about.

So, all in all, I really liked watching this, and I will likely do so again. I need inspiring messages like this not only to make it through the day, but also to hold onto my faith as I stumble through life.

***

"Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light." - Ephesians 5:11-13

Serenity, suicide, son gets a job (and Brueggemann again)

 

"Serenity is no longer wishing you had a different past."

That's a line from the movie 'Sound of Metal' we watched last week. I am still processing it. Great movie.

I'll come back to that in a bit, but first there's a continuation to the 'Brueggemann thing'. If you recall, last week I started reading an old book I had from Walter Brueggemann ("The Message of the Psalms"). I opened it on April 7, and stuck inside was the receipt from the day I'd bought it (and when we heard Brueggemann speak) on... April 7, 1997. Like that wasn't crazy enough...

Yesterday we were talking to our son. He informed us he'd recently gotten hired as an adjunct professor for the fall semester at Columbia Theological Seminary. Guess who was the long-time professor of Old Testament there? Yep, Walter B.! I didn't have the nerve to ask if he found this out on April 7th. :) By the way, the boy will be teaching Intro. to Ethics, while he continues to work on his Phd. At the moment he is TA-ing a course in Pastoral Care at Emory/Candler.

While we are extremely proud of both our kids, there was a bit of sadness this weekend. One of my cousins kids took his life. His mom found him in his apartment where he'd hung himself. I can't imagine the horror. Although, when I hear of a suicide I usually feel a sense of relief on behalf of the deceased. Their suffering has ended. Of this I am glad.

--

So, back to the movie...

A main premise of the movie, and the deaf community where it takes place, is that deafness is not something to be fixed; it's not a handicap. As the counselor says, "We're looking for a solution to this (pointing to his head), not this (pointing to his ears)."

The counselor in the movie is trying to help Ruben come to grips with himself, by finding peace within. He challenges him to stop trying to fix himself... To be able to just sit, and be. At one point he says,

"I wonder, uh, all these mornings you've been sitting in my study, sitting, have you had any moments of stillness? Because you're right, Ruben. The world does keep moving, and it can be a damn cruel place. But for me, those moments of stillness, that place, that's the kingdom of God."

When I think about all the work my son is putting into his schooling, and all the work my daughter puts into raising her kids... Stuff like that makes me super proud as a parent... not because of what they've achieved, but because of who they are. That makes me feel good.

In contrast, I can only imagine how many times my cousin's son heard, "Why don't you get a job"... or "Why don't you do something with your life"... or "Why don't you make something of yourself"... And it's not that I knew him, but I've heard those things insinuated by others. And you wonder: did he know?

...

Sometimes we can spend so much time and effort searching for inner peace, when all the time it is right here within us. It's not something we can achieve, but only something we can realize. Can you "Be still"?

[to be continued... and it may or may not include Brueggemann]

***

“The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!” - Mark 1:15

 

Six things saturday

 

Yeah, yeah... here we go...

1. WHAT I/WE ARE WATCHING - Lately we've been watching the old 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents' TV shows on Rokutv. They're kind of interesting, I guess. Of course we still default to GRIT TV when just needing something on in the background. We don't watch a lot of TV - usually from 6-8 at night most nights.
2. MOVIES - I am terrible at remembering movies we've watched. If only I had a blog or something to keep track of such things... Hmm. Anyway, last night we watched 'Sound of Metal.' One of those sad/good movies. So good. Really good. I know I've seen some other good movies recently, but this may have been the best. Although, I guess it is from 2019. Whatever. Good.
   
3. RUNNING - I've really cut back, but am continuing. Last week I jogged 2, 2.5, and 3.1 miles, all around 11 to 12-minute miles. Strangely enough, my legs and feet are feeling good, but somethings going on in my lungs. I swear it's since I've had the first dose of the covid vaccine. It just burns when I run, like I'm completely out of shape. And I'm not! At least it's not getting worse, so I'm hoping it will improve over time. It's a little frustrating to have to have Jane slow down for me. Not the end of the world.
4. WHAT I'M READING - Last week I started reading Walter Brueggemann's 'The Message of the Psalms.' It was a little wild in that, as you can see from the above pic, I purchased this book on April 7, 1997. Jane and I heard him speak that day while I was attending seminary. I thought he was fantastic! There was a bit of a to-do because he said "son-of-a-bitch" and a bunch of people got upset, but I didn't blink at it. Aaaaaanyway, what's funny is, I just randomly started reading this on April 7 this year... and had no idea that's the date I purchased the book 24 years ago!!! Crazy. Anyway, I intended to use this for my morning devotional/journalling, but we'll see how it goes. It's pretty heady.
5. WORK - These past 2 weeks I've worked a 4-day week. Starting this week I am back to a 5-day workweek for the next 2 weeks. It is nice having a 3-day weekend, but the days sure are long. It's also been super slow the past couple weeks. 
6. GREEN - It's amazing how fast Spring can... spring. The grass is growing and a dark dense green, the trees are budding and getting leaves, flowers are up... So it seems we had about 2 weeks of winter. One of these days I need to swap out the lawn mower and snow blower. One of these days. I'm not a fan of yard work, but I do like the colors, and the warm air.

So, there ya go. Sorry I haven't been keeping up very good lately. Meh. One of these days... 

***

"The winter is over; the rains have stopped;
in the countryside the flowers are in bloom.
This is the time for singing;
    the song of doves is heard in the fields."

-Song of Solomon 2:11-12

Feeling poorly rich

Sometimes you just have to sit and wonder. Does God even care about us at all... or is this really how it goes?

Last week I had a few rough days (even before the stupid Facebook fiasco - for those aware of that). I feel like aside from a few years when I was working in paid ministry, I've struggled with this sense of "calling from God" - for lack of a better way to put.

I mentioned the other day watching the movie 'Nomadland.' As I watched this story unfold of people struggling through their existence, I felt a tug on my heart. Like maybe this is it. My calling. Not necessarily people living this type of nomadic life, but there are all kinds of people out there who feel they don't belong here. I am one of them, and I feel it is that kindred connection that makes me think I can't NOT do something.

Of course, as soon as I start to think thoughts like that, something inevitably happens that pulls the rug right out from under me. And to be perfectly honest, I don't know if that's God saying, "Dan, you stupid jerk! Quit thinking thoughts like this! Ministry is no place for you!" Or, I also wonder, is God saying something like, "Okay... let's see just how serious you are..." Or, I know, it could be the whole temptation thing and all that. I don't know... I don't... know...

***

The other day a friend shared this excellent article 'Ravi Zacharias, Rich Mullins, and A Ragamuffin Legacy.' Rich Mullins had such a HUGE impact on my life. Maybe more through his writing, speaking, and living than through his music.

I am like Rich. Not talent-wise, but struggling-with-my-demons-wise. I'm a jerk one minute, then the nicest guy in the world the next. I do stupid things, then accidentally do something good. I am hopeless and occasionally hope-filled. The article explains it better. There's also this Youtube documentary: 'Rich Mullins: A Ragamuffin's Legacy.'

Anyway, my friend who shared the article used this quote from Rich (from the article):

“There’s a place where my greatest joy and the world’s greatest need meet, and that, Frederick Buechner would say, was your calling. And I think that’s a pretty good definition of a calling.

How do you know when God is calling you? Well I don’t know, in my own life I think that for years I tried to avoid loneliness, because it hurts to feel lonely. Now I’m beginning to recognize that maybe that’s what it feels like when God calls me.

Maybe when God is calling, it hurts.

Maybe when God calls us, it feels like a pain.

And for years in my own life, I tried to drown that pain.

I tried to avoid that pain.

I tried to fill that ache with all kinds of what I can now look back on and see was a lot of stuff that was destroying me, corrupting me.

And to listen to the call of God means to accept some of the emptiness that we have in our own lives.

And rather than always trying to drown out that feeling of emptiness, instead of always trying to fill it with a lot of junk, to allow that to be a door through which we go to meet God.

And this is where I think moral purity begins to play in, that almost everything that corrupts us is something we use to fill some kind of ache, some kind of emptiness.

And moral purity might be nothing more than a call to accept the ache and to accept the emptiness, and to allow ourselves to go through that to where God is calling us to go.

And the joy of the Christian life is that those aches, those needs, that emptiness that we’re going to encounter because we’re human, is ultimately met in Christ, and that everything that we try to fill it with that is not Christ will never really fill it.”

Oh, man... That's a lot to take in. I mean... that's like 'taking up a cross'-type stuff!

I'm not sure how I feel about it. Rich, or poor?

This is not one of those posts where I'm trying to tell anyone anything. This is one of those posts where I'm simply writing things down and hoping that somehow through the process I'll uncover a little glimmer of light. Or at least lessen the pain some. Not that it's physical pain; not that I'm depressed; not that I do or don't know what I want... 

I can remember times when I thought I was sure of my "calling." Boy was I stupid! Hehe.

So, here we are. Sittin' here in front of this window... Wonderin' what's just beyond... my ability to see. What am I avoiding that is exactly where I need to go???

***

Psalm 119:169-170

Let my cry reach you, Lord;
    help me understand according to what you’ve said.
Let my request for grace come before you;
    deliver me according to your promise!

 

A vacation for the mind

The other night we watched the ZZ Top documentary 'That Little Ol' Band From Texas.' I thought it was great. The music, the interviews, the history of the band...

There was one line from Frank Beard, the drummer, that caught my ear. He was talking about the first big paycheck they got. Each of the band members got a $72,000 check, and he said he spent every cent of his on drugs. He fondly recalled injecting LSD, and said he also loved heroin. He said it was like "a vacation for the mind."

I admit, I briefly thought to myself, "That's exactly what I want! Maybe I should get some heroin!" Of course, I know better. I'm much too poor to be a drug addict. It was also the prospect of heroin a few decades back that brought me to my senses and started me on a path to sobriety. Yet... the idea of a vacation for the mind has stuck with me the past couple days.

I believe this is the point of meditation. Maybe even of people who spend great amounts of time dedicated to reading fiction. And, I think, for me at least, this is why I run. While I say I do it for the exercise, I'd say it is much more a mental thing for me than it is physical.

I don't particularly like to run. Each step is drudgery, actually. That is, when I'm thinking about it. It's that elusive 'runners high' that makes it worthwhile though. That point where you forget that you're even running. Your mind goes somewhere else. To your 'vacation spot' maybe. Not with a mental image, but... somewhere 'other.'

I thought about this Sunday as I did my run. I spend most of my time counting my breath. Three out and two in. In sync with my steps. I don't always make a point to think about it, but when I do, it becomes meditation.

So, I'm going to start thinking of it as my mental vacation. I suppose it's better than starting up a heroin habit.

***

Luke 21:34
"Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap."

The last dance

We recently watched the 10-part miniseries 'The Last Dance' on Netflix. It is a documentary revolving around the career of Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls, with particular focus on his last season with the team culminating in their sixth championship in eight years.


It originally aired on ESPN during the pandemic shutdown during April and May of this year. I am glad Netflix picked it up and we were able to see it because it brought back so many memories.

I wasn't really what you would call a Bulls fan, but living in Illinois during that time you couldn't help but get caught up in the great run the team had in the 1990s. I remember when Jordan was drafted by the Bulls and the immediate drama that ensued. I was actually surprised how much I recalled while watching the shows. Different players and coaches and events. They were good memories.

I was also intrigued by game footage and players from other teams from days gone by. I was especially excited to see Hersey Hawkins when the Bulls played the Supersonics. He was always a favorite of mine in his days at Bradley University in Peoria, IL. He went from being a 6'3" center in high school to one of the highest scoring guards in college, earning co-national player of the year in 1988.

Anyway, the interviews with Jordan and several teammates and coaches were great. Say what you want about the man, but he knew what he wanted and he went after it with a determination few people muster in their lives.

If you are interested in sports at all, or even just the history and spectacle of the Bulls and Jordan, I highly recommend this series.

A day of movies

I had a bit of head cold or allergy issue last week/weekend. Nothing serious, but a runny nose, sore throat, watery eyes, and general lack of energy. It started Thursday and when I got off work Friday morning, I drove home, parked the car in the garage, and plopped into my recliner at 9:30 am and basically did nothing until Saturday afternoon when the grand kids arrived. Nothing, that is, except watch a bunch of movies!

All told, I watched at least four movies (that I can remember), and some other random TV. Here are the four movies I recall...

• 7500 - This is a 2019 action-thriller starring Joseph Gordon Levitt about a terrorist plane hijacking. I believe the entire movie was set in the cockpit of an airplane. I'm not sure how good of a movie it is, but it was sufficient for a sick day. I even fell asleep at one point and backed up to see what I had missed. I liked it.

• The Florida Project - This is a 2017 film which wiki says is an "American slice-of-life drama." It stars Willem Dafoe and a host of unknowns and first-time actors. It centers on the life of a six-year-old living with her delinquent single mother in a motel near Disney World. The gut-wrenchingly sad contrast between the trouble and hardships of people who live so close to the wonderful world of Disney and those who visit the theme-park is what makes this so powerful. I thought Dafoe was fantastic. As much as I dislike what the movie is about, I thought it very well done.

• The Disaster Artist - Another film from 2017, this one stars brothers James and Dave Franco. It is reportedly a biographical comedy-drama based on Greg Sestero and Tom Bissell's book of the same title. It is about the friendship between budding actors Tommy Wiseau and Sestero that resulted in Wiseau's 2003 film 'The Room,' which is widely considered one of the worst films ever made. This is no great masterpiece, and, ironically, by the end of it I realized I'd already seen it. Still, it was a worthwhile way to spend an afternoon of doing nothing.

• The Machinist - This is the 2004 psychological thriller starring Christian Bale and Jennifer Jason Leigh. It's the role where Bale consumed nothing but water, a daily apple and cup of coffee, and occasional whiskey, in order to drop 62 pounds in 4 months. Talk about changing your appearance! Anyway, he played a machine operator whose insomnia and psychological problems lead him to an even deeper downward spiral of guilt, paranoia and delusion. It was a bit gross and creepy at times, but it kept my interest into the wee hours. If you like such things, I'd guess it is a pretty good movie.

I don't normally veg in front of the TV for this length of time, and I suppose it was partly because Jane was gone (visiting my mom and her brothers). I'd say it did me good to get the rest though. Nothing to see here but... some movies!

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters." - Psalm 23:1-2

Bond, james bond (in chronological order)

We have accomplished quite the feat during this COVID-19 stay-at-home order. We just finished watching all 26 of the James Bond movies - in chronological order by release date! That's a lot of "Bond, James Bond"!

If, by some rare twist of fate you are unfamiliar with 007, here is the blurb from Wikipedia:

"James Bond is a fictional character created by the novelist Ian Fleming in 1953. Bond is a British secret agent working for MI6 who also answers to his codename, 007. He has been portrayed on film by the actors Sean Connery, David Niven, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and Daniel Craig, in twenty-seven productions. All the films but two were made by Eon Productions. Eon now holds the full adaptation rights to all of Fleming's Bond novels."

The 27th film is set to come out later this year, so we have one more to go for the entire series. I can't wait!

I suppose part of my attachment to these movies is that the first one was released the year I was born (1962). So when 'No Time to Die' comes out this fall, that will be a span of 58 years. That simply boggles my mind.

There is one caveat: We did not watch the 1967 'Casino Royale' in its release order (by date), We watched it last, because it's a spoof on Bond, and was not an official Eon Productions work. It is also veeeeery bizarre.

MY FAVORITE BOND ACTOR:
I would have to say, without a doubt, my favorite "Bond" is Daniel Craig. He is a bit more serious (as is Timothy Dalton), but he just seems like more of a secret agent. There is also a lot less gadgetry in the later films, and there seems less emphasis on sex and womanizing than the earlier ones.

Growing up watching these on TV, I think I probably always thought Sean Connery and Roger Moore were the only two who'd played 007. I like them both for nostalgic reasons (preferring Moore to Connery).

I am also a big fan of Pierce Brosnan, and it's not that I didn't like his portrayal, but he was a bit too aloof, and too much of a playboy.

MY FAVORITE BOND GIRL:
Bond always has a love interest or femme fatale. Trying to decide which is my favorite is like... trying to decide which sip of wine tastes the best! There have been some big names in this role: Ursula Andress, Jane Seymour, Britt Eckland, Jill St. John, Barbara Bach, Maud Adams, Grace Jones, Tonya Roberts, Teri Hatcher, Denise Richards, Halle Berry, and Naomie Harris (Moneypenny) just to name a few. For some reason, Ursula Andress, Barbara Bach, and Naomie Harris stand out in my mind, but there were so many that it's really just too hard for me to say.

MY FAVORITE BOND MOVIE:
As with Bond actors, certain movies are sentimental favorites. I can remember watching them when I was a kid, and have watched many of them several times over the years. Diamonds Are Forever, Live and Let Die, The Spy Who Loved Me, Octopussy... those bring back a lot of memories.

Without a doubt, though, the later movies - Skyfall and Spectre - would have to be my favorites as far as good old action movies. I'm sure it helps that special effects have improved, but they just seemed to have a better plot and maybe better acting overall.

At any rate, I am glad we decided to undertake this special assignment. When we started they were all free on Amazon Prime. Unfortunately, the month changed before we got to them all, so we had to rent a few. It was worth it.

Also, as interesting as the movies are, I found it equally fascinating to read the wiki write-up on each movie as we went along.

Here is the order by release date:

• 1 Eon films
  • 1 Dr. No (1962)
  • 2 From Russia with Love (1963)
  • 3 Goldfinger (1964)
  • 4 Thunderball (1965)
  • 5 You Only Live Twice (1967)
  • 6 On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
  • 7 Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
  • 8 Live and Let Die (1973)
  • 9 The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
  • 10 The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
  • 11 Moonraker (1979)
  • 12 For Your Eyes Only (1981)
  • 13 Octopussy (1983)
  • 14 A View to a Kill (1985)
  • 15 The Living Daylights (1987)
  • 16 License to Kill (1989)
  • 17 GoldenEye (1995)
  • 18 Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
  • 19 The World Is Not Enough (1999)
  • 20 Die Another Day (2002)
  • 21 Casino Royale (2006)
  • 22 Quantum of Solace (2008)
  • 23 Skyfall (2012)
  • 24 Spectre (2015)
  • 25 No Time to Die (2021)
• 2 Non-Eon films
  • 1 Casino Royale (1967)
  • 2 Never Say Never Again (1983)

Pandemic movies

After unsuccessfully trying to learn to sew (a simple face mask)... I think I will just make a list of the movies we have been watching during this covid-19 stay-at-home-ordered pandemic.

As best as I can remember, to date we have watched these:

• Meek's Cutoff (2010, western)
• Lars and The Real Girl (2007, Ryan Gosling)
• Harold and Maude (1971, quirky)
• Stop Making Sense (1984, Talking Heads)
• Honey Boy (2019, sad, sad, sad, Shia LaBeouf)
• The Rainbow (2019 rock documentary)
• The Kids Are Alright (1979, The Who)
• This Is Martin Bonner (2013, quit/good)
• Paterson (2016, Adam Driver, quit/good)
• The Lost City of Z (2016, Charlie Hunnam)
• Logan Lucky (2017, quirky dramedy, Tatum, Driver, Craig, Swank, Holmes)

I'm sure I have forgotten some, and I may or may not add more later. Just prior to this we also watched Ford vs Ferrari (2019, Damon, Bale), and A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019, Hanks). Both of these were quite unexpectedly excellent imho.

Sunday in the park; two popes

We did not attend a Sunday worship gathering again yesterday. We kept the grand kids overnight and... while we had more than enough time to make it 'somewhere'... it's honestly just easier to not even bother. And I really hate that...

Instead... after the wee ones were picked up, we opted to take a walk in the park, so to speak. We drove downtown and walked through Promenade Park and over to the Lawton skate park, looped around by the Old Fort, and wound our way back through Headwaters Park and The Landing on Columbia Street. It was a nice 45-minute stroll. I took the above pic from the bridge that connects the Fort and Headwaters Park East.

Sure, it's great to take in some nature and feel the cool against your face; to be free from the obligation of "church." But I don't like it, and I don't think it's right. Not for me anyway. Not that we shouldn't enjoy long walks and the beauty of creation... but I don't for one second think that's what Jesus gave his life for and called me to.

It is frustrating. I/we feel like there is no place we fit, and I lack confidence in my ability to get along with others (to tolerate them) and not be a nuisance to some innocent God-loving group of people. It seems everyone is either so liberal that anything goes, or we've got to be praying for our military from the pulpit to be "Christian"... and... well... I know... the real problem is... ME.

Yesterday I did wonder to myself what it would be like to try starting up the "Beer & Hymns" thing... Simply open up our house even, and anyone that wanted to join us in singing hymns together (if Jane would play the piano for us), and people could bring the beverage of their choice (or none at all)...

I also thought about the prospect of trying to do a 'worship in the park' thing. You know, just be present at the same time and in the same place each Sunday morning... I don't know. Stupid stuff. And why would I do that to myself again????

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Anyway, yesterday afternoon we decided to try watching a movie. Of course Amazon Prime wouldn't work, as seems to be getting more and more common. So we watched 'The Two Popes' on Netflix. I'd seen ads for it, and heard other people talk about how good it was. It was actually WAY BETTER than I anticipated. It was funny, intense... emotionally powerful. I was fighting back tears throughout.

It also stirred within me many of the thoughts above. The tension between following the disciplines of the church (respect/love for God), and the call to social action (the mission of God). It's a fine line. When the one Cardinal remarks, "Maybe I could just be a parish priest again"... I found myself longing for that life. Yet, at the same time, I know there is no "just be a..." involved. Not for me.

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So, here I sit. The sweat towels are in the washing machine at the ol' YMCA. I'm listening to the whir of treadmills and whatnot. I can feel life seeping away from me every day I am here, as I force myself to not make waves, trying to fit into the system, trying to be a good little boy who 'knows my place'...

... ... ...

Bah... I want to scream!!!!!