Choir of Hope

We took our kids to church last night for the World Hope Children of the World Choir performance. Children from all over the world, most orphaned and sponsored through pledges, entertain with a singing and dancing performance using English and native dialects singing praise and worship songs with a tribal flare for awareness and, naturally, fund-raising. We thought it would be great to take the kids to the performance to teach them. We thought seeing kids sing first-hand and explaining the situation from which these kids emerged would be meaningful, yet fun for the boys.

As with most circumstances in life with my boys in which I go with an expectation, my expectations were not met.

Here are some of the phrases uttered by either boy last night during the performance:

1. Ugh. This is embarrassing.
2. What language are they speaking? Me: “English.” What is English?
3. This is WAY too much kid singing
4. They KEEP singing the same thing (during How Great is Our God)
5. Can I go to bed now?
6. Are we standing because it is time to go? (during the only time they asked us to stand and sing with them)
7. Can I have a drink from the shop outside?
8. No. (When asked by the nice lady behind us as we were leaving if they liked the show)
9. Mom, you better get your money ready this time, here comes that bag again. (I already had my money ready anyway. That was part of the reason I wanted to go.)
10. Oh mom, do they know Jacob B? (a little boy in Gavin’s class adopted from Asia)
11. Did they get new moms and dads yet? (after the video explaining that many children are left orphaned due to AIDS)
12. Can I get baptized so I can go swim in that tank like that girl did earlier?
13. 1,2,3,4,5,6…(counting the ceiling lights during the finale)
    
    

Somehow I thought it would mean more to the boys. I really did. I was wrong. Brian thought I was crazy. He was right.

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The evolution of romance in my marriage

I received a comment from Christina on Monday’s post about the night Brian was diagnosed. I was amused by her comment because while moved by the whole story, she highlighted the sentence about our shower together and ended the comment with, Ahhhh, Newlyweds. I contemplated omitting that part of the story, but it was such a part of who we were then. We even received a gift basket from a friend of Brian’s parents that summer with all kinds of lotions and soaps because, “we heard how much you like to share the shower.” We used to shower together all the time. We washed each other’s backs and made sure the other still had a spray of hot water even when we were rinsing our own hair.

Today. NO STINKING WAY. Get out of my spray zone you hot water hog. It’s my turn to rinse. I have soap in my eyes. Your pits still smell, wash them again. YOU get out and dry with YOUR towel first, I will stay in the stall and dry off.

Sort of lost it’s romantic luster somewhere.

How many other romantic and simple gestures have we lost in the hullabaloo of life and marriage? ThirteenLots.

1. Then: Long conversations that lasted well into the sleeping hours of the night. Now: Brian says my superpower is the ability to fall asleep within minutes of my head touching the pillow. I’m gifted.



2. Then: Flowers and jewelry as a gesture of love. Now: Ummmm. Hon? The budget… We need to save towards a new washer and dryer to replace these that probably have about 3 years’ useful life remaining.



3. Then: Staying in bed late into the day while sleeping in, reading, and fooling around intermittently. Now: Reality = children.



4. Then: Sexy = lights dim, soft music, me in a skimpy negligee. Now: Sexy = Lights bright, loud vacuum cleaner pushed by him in an apron.



5. Then: Weekend getaways to the mountains. Now: Weekend home repair projects that ACTUALLY get finished.



6. Then: Sharing a twin bed while spooning. Now: Considering a king size bed lest I actually feel human flesh next to me during my precious sleep.



7. Then: Shopping together, browsing through aisles, glancing at the window displays, taking our time. Now: Shop separately for the things each knows best. No. Matter. What.



8. Then: Ideal night out = nice restaurant, taking 2 hours to eat, bottle of wine, a show or live music somewhere afterwards. Now: Ideal night out = any night away from the kids with free babysitting so we don’t have to watch each tick of the clock add up to $$$.



9. Then: Taking care of our bodies, doing our best to stay looking buff and trim. Now: Sucking in our guts when walking past the mirror and boasting that we still got it, careful to avoid the wrong angle lest we be humbled by love handles.



10. Then: Staying up together watching the late show or late movie. Now: Watching the DVR’d late show or movie at 8:45 as soon as the kids are in bed so we can get to bed earlier.



11. Then: Sharing an entrée (whatever he wanted) at a restaurant while I nibbled on my appetizer. Now: HA! I’m not sharing my meal and I am NOT compromising on what I am ordering. This is MY NIGHT OUT FROM COOKING, DAMNIT!



12. Then: 3 of the best words = I love you. Now: 3 of the best words = You were right.



13. Then: Mortified or at least slightly modest about any bodily functions the other might witness. Now: Finishing our sentences mid-burp while, sadly, the other understands the sentence.
    
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My Many Musical Moods

I was listening to this amazing little girl, Gabi Wilson, sing the other day and walked away from the computer not realizing that related clips would follow. I heard some R&B dance ditty and was jumping around like Josie Grosie in Never Been Kissed. (I don’t know what is more embarrassing – that I dance like Josie Grosie or that I admit I have seen Never Been Kissed.) Then, I was in the kitchen when I heard Electric Slide. I couldn’t help myself. I “Electric Slide-d” through the entire house at 4 in the afternoon to the song in its entirety. I think the Holy Spirit Himself overtook me and had me exert what energy I had remaining. I HAVE to Electric Slide if I hear it. My ridiculous spectacle of myself made me realize that I respond differently to different types of music.

1) Christian Rock – This is what I listen to about 75% of the time at this stage of my life. Sometimes I sing along. Usually I am just zoning out in the car, but I like to think my subconscious self is praising even when I’m not making a concerted effort to do so.

2) 80’s Dance songs – Make me want to, well… dance. I can do the Molly-Ringwald-Breakfast-Club pony and the Electric Slide like no other. I want to don my Units belt, leggings, oversized-shoulder-padded-Boy-George jacket and legwarmers and frolic about like Marine Jahan did to “Maniac” in Flashdance (not Jennifer Beals who actually played Alex, but didn’t dance). I can’t control myself.

3) 80’s Alternative/Punk – Depeche Mode, Violent Femmes, the Cure – I want to hide in the back room of some black-light illuminated multi-room nightclub, smoke Marlboro Lights and flirt incessantly with purple-spike-haired, black-leather wearing guy. Just kidding. I want to go look through high school yearbooks and get out my cassettes – only we don’t have a cassette player anymore…

4) 90’s Grunge – Nirvana, Pearl Jam. Brian thanks them for bringing some integrity back to music to get us out of 80’s Pop. I BLAME them for it, bu-uut I also like them. When I hear them, I want to jump in a mosh pit for about 5 minutes, then immediately take a shower.(I’m a mid 30’s mom, for crying out loud)

5) Rap - Turn the dial. I have no tolerance or appreciation. (unless it’s DJ Jazzy Jeff or Ton Loc)

6) Blues/Crooners – The blues and any sort of Norah Jones-ish, lounge-y singing puts me…well… “in the sexy mood.” Can’t explain it. I sing along to Frank and the Rat Pack, though.

7) Heavy Metal – Barring Big Hair Band Monster Ballads, I mute or fast forward. I can’t resist the ballads, though. What mid to late 30-something didn’t have a monster ballad as “their song” with a high school sweetie?

8) Club/Dance mix/Hip Hop – I primarily workout to this, all those annoying songs you hear between plays at a football or basketball game give me a boost on the treadmill. (“Who let the Dogs Out” is one of my favorite tunes for running, Stop laughing.)

9) Big Band/Swing - This music makes me want to try to swing dance, but I never learned, so I just wave my pointer finger and Charleston.

10) Country- I am impartial. Don’t love it. Don’t hate it. But it doesn’t MOVE me any direction. I do like bluegrass, though.

11) Broadway Show Tunes - I sing at the top of my lungs. Come on, who hasn’t tried to belt out their best Mary Magdalene “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” from JC Superstar?

12) Jazz – For some inexplicable reason, it makes me want to clean and decorate my house. Something about a nice soft sax and clarinet makes me think of a super modern, high-tech stereo system in a tidy, irrationally organized room meant for entertaining, sharing a bottle of red and relaxing.

13) Classic Rock – I have urges to drink beer and play some cards with friends and family. Also makes me think of my hubby, Brian, who has every album Led Zeppelin and the Grateful Dead have ever recorded or had boot-legged comprising about 50 gig of his 200 gig music collection.

(I know I am cheating by adding two more, but I am also going to take a 3 day break from blogging for Easter, so cut me some slack.)

13a) Reggae – I want to have a margarita and sit outside basking in the warmth of the sun – beach, pool, lake, backyard, whatever. For this reason, I reserve reggae for warm conditions, lest I get depressed thinking of the inconsistent March and April mid-west weather..

13b) Classical – Sit down in my big comfy chair in my extremely tidy room the Jazz music helped me create and enjoy a glass of wine, a fire and a book or crossword/Sudoku puzzle.

What many moods of music do you display?
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Thirteen Daily Phrases

Today's rendition of Thursday Thirteen is a compilation of 13 phrases I know I say daily.

1. Gavin, EAT!


2. Grant, do you smell that? *sniff sniff* That is your stinky attitude.


3. Daddy’s HOME!


4. I. Do. Not. Care. Who. Started. It. STOP FIGHTING and tell him you are sorry.


5. No, Grant, you CANNOT have a snack right now. If you even ASK me for a snack again, you are going to be in trouble.


6. Gavin, are your pants wet or dry? (yeah folks, he’s 6-1/2, talk about potty training never ending hell!)


7. Hey, watch your mouth! No bathroom words!


8. I WILL NOT REPEAT MYSELF AGAIN


9. What are the rules?


10. Can you NOT see that I am on the phone?


11. Oh, what I think you meant to say was, ‘thanks for dinner, mommy. I know you worked hard on it and I didn’t mean to say all those nasty things about something you worked on’


12. Did you hear me? I said I will NOT REPEAT MYSELF AGAIN. (ridiculous, I know)


13. Good night. Mommy loves you, but Jesus loves you more.

Makes me realize I need to add a few more positive phrases to my daily regimen. Ouch.

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While you were supposed to be sleeping

My entire family seems to be back from the land of the intensely ill and into the land of the living, responsible, contributing human beings again. Besides zapping our energy, our desires and ability to think or do anything productive, our aspiration for practicing good hygiene, thus our dignity, our illness also left us sleep deprived. This is not all that unusual, as I do not remember the last night I went to bed and woke up the next morning when my alarm sounded. My sleep is constantly interrupted.

Thirteen things that keep me awake on any given night:
1) Bathroom breaks – especially if I indulged in a pint or two or a glass of two of wine. Honestly, the bathroom breaks at night sometimes keep me from having one.
2) Thoughts of going back to work in a year and a half when Grant is in first grade. What will I do next? How has the industry/workforce changed in the last 3 years since I left? Etc.
3) Ideas for this blog pop into my head and I formulate them into entries as I watch the LED minutes tick away.
4) Often, I go to sleep with a load of laundry in the dryer. We do not have a volume or an on/off switch for the buzzer/signal. I HATE THAT SOUND no matter where I am in the house, but when I am sleeping, I consider taking an axe to the thing.
5) 4 and 6 year old boys that just CAN’T fall back asleep unless I go lay with them or, at the very least, tuck them back in bed– almost nightly
6) Things to add to my to-do and grocery lists.
7) Thinking back on the day – did I treat my kids well? Did I get anything done?
8) What are we going to have for dinner tomorrow night?
9) Gripping fear of losing my husband to his cancer – truly it paralyzes me – often.
10) That same husband’s snoring.

11) That same husband's or my own suggestive advances
12) Sudden urges/desires to pray for someone.
13) Strange noises, especially if Brian is away.

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Too Much Winter

Thursday Thirteen Volume II Feb 28, 2008

It is currently around 10 degrees F (-15 C) AGAIN here in Illinois. My Canadian friends will have to bear with me on this rendition of Thursday Thirteen. They will be playing their imaginary violins for my pity party while I whine about the weather after they have enjoyed feet of snow and temperatures triple that negative number this winter. Well, believe it or not, we have seen temps that low AND feet of snow ourselves here in Illinois this winter. We, however, are not accustomed to that. My cover-to-cover newspaper reading father-in-law, Ed, informed me last week this has been the third wettest winter on record here in Central Illinois. Having lived through Edmonton’s winter last year, I can actually state that this Peoria winter rivals it. It is not as cold with not QUITE as much snow, but this cold is a colder cold degree for degree, if that makes sense. Also, this snow weighs about 3 times as much, so it is much more difficult to shovel. I will say, however, that the side streets are plowed and that was something that didn’t often happen in Edmonton.

Thirteen Signs You have had too much Winter:

1. 40 degrees F brings out short sleeves, light jackets, bikes and skateboards.




2. The same rare 40 degree day has the kids asking if they can “run through the sprinkler because it is SO warm out today.”




3. While saying nighttime prayers with the kids, you thank God for his creation – the snow, the rivers, the ice, the cold, the warm..- at which point your child interrupts and laments that Jesus WILL NEVER MAKE IT BE SPRING AGAIN.




4. You find yourself saying, “Let’s get away this weekend someplace warm – like Missouri. I think it is supposed to be in the high 40’s.”




5. The outrageous price paid for your ski-trip clothes for yourself and the kids seems like a bargain now on a cost/use basis.




6. The kids grumble when they see the fresh snow on the ground through which grass was peeking just yesterday instead of jumping for joy at the excitement of a possible snow day.




7. You find yourself whispering sweet-nothings to your tank tops and shorts promising one day you will see them again.




8. This scene triggers a reaction of OH! CRAP!, when just one month ago it was, Ooooh! Aahhh! (taken Tuesday, February 27 after the LATEST 2-5")



9. The kids need new boots by mid-January due to wear and tear instead of out-growing them like every other year.




10. You find yourself feeling inexplicable feelings of rage every time you read a blog post nonchalantly mentioning playing outside recently.




11. Your 20-something sweaters have all made their laundry rotations MANY times and are starting to look rather worn.




12. You can’t remember you neighbor’s name because you haven’t been outside in so long.




13. You find YOURSELF uttering the words, “Do you want to go to Chuck E. Cheese?” just to get out of the house.

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Thursday Thirteen # 1, Feb 21

I am participating in my first Thursday Thirteen. I don’t know if I have enough creativity to participate weekly, but this week, I felt inspired.

This week’s thirteen is Thirteen Reasons Why I THINK I Am Not Losing Weight:

1) I like this,

but only with this in it.

2) I like this,

but only with lots of these in it.
3) I like this too much.
4) I am beginning to think if I eat something off someone else’s plate (e.g. the last ¼ of those 2 pieces of pizza, the last few bites of the abandoned pop-tart, etc.) it still counts towards MY calorie intake.

5) This forecast which is a depiction of the last 2-1/2 months of actual weather has precluded much outdoor metabolic boosting activity.
6) My sister, whom I am beginning to think is a B with an itch, introduced these addictive little buggers.
7) I really like these A LOT but only with # 1.

8-10) Even in moderation, these guys have a LOT of calories

11) I am beginning to think, also, that standing and panting on the side of the treadmill as the belt whizzes by does not count towards those total miles ran and calories burned.

12) Due to #5, we have not been able to use this, which causes me to use more of this for sauces and flavor.

13) I spend way too much time on this.

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