413 days later...

WOW! Its been 413 days since I have written on this blog...

That's unreal.

Its also unreal HOW much my life has changed since I last posted. Which is why I am returning. Because life is a roller coaster, and its an amazing adventure, and my life has been turned completely upside down. The one resounding constant through it all though, has been that God is in control. I know He is caring for me in my everyday, and He has a good and perfect plan for my life. One that will bring glory and honor unto Himself! And ESPECIALLY in the past month or so, His presence and mighty hand has been SOOOO present in all the things going on. This is why I must return to this blog, because my God is TOO good for me not to be keeping a written record and testament to His great work.

I will be returning with stories of all my great adventures, the good & the bad, the happy & the sad. And I will give testimony to God's unfailing love and provision to this grateful child of His.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Monday Memo

That maybe what my blog becomes soon, a series of memos or check-ins, where I log on just long enough to give a bullet list of life lately for the Barnhart's...that's because working full time as and teacher, and being a mom to a toddler is A LOT OF WORK!

Life is good though. Steven was in Texas this last weekend (for his bodybuilding show), so Baby L and I had the house to ourselves. Friday night we ate Zaxby's for dinner, played, colored, then piled up on the couch and watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua. A very cute little kids movie by-the-way. Saturday I spent most of the day slaving away over a hot stove watching my slow cooker work its magic on my magical sauce I make for the World's Best Lasagna. I am made it in preparation for a dear friend of mine who is due to have her baby girl anytime now, and since this is such an involved recipe (but Oh, so worth it) I decided to make it ahead, while I had the time, and make a huge quantity and freeze some. It was also our turn to bring dinner or snacks to small group on Sunday evening, so I took a big ol' pan and it was a crowd pleas er. Then Saturday evening L and I got dressed around 5pm and headed down to Walgreen's to say hi to Grammy while she worked, and then went out to eat with her once she was off. We went to Chili's, and then made a spur of the moment decision to head over to Boo at the Zoo. I have never been before, and must say I was impressed, it will definitely not be the last time we go! Baby L's favorite part was getting out on the dance floor under the giant clam shell and boogie-ing with all the other little kiddos! Sooooo cute! Sorry this shot is so blurry, it was hard to get a good one with my phone and so much wiggling going on. This is Grammy, dancing with Baby L (dressed in his Halloween costume, a shark), and the most precious little girl that just decided to join then dancing. I could so have brought her home with me, she was adorable!

Chasing my tail...

Chasing my tail is all I feel like I've been doing lately.
As soon as I finish one task another is waiting right there in the wings for me to begin. Mostly this is at work: good things, but still lots of change and lots of new, and it's all just A LOT!

I wanted to stop long enough to share somethings I am thankful for even in the midst of crazy chaos:
1. Baby L
Just him in all of his precious, amazing, miraculous self. He is such an amazing blessing. He is saying SOOOO many new things these days, I haven't actually tried to count them up, but I think we are at 75-100 words he says now. At least 30 he uses all the time and has very solid meaning for/with.
He has even begun the slow path towards potty training byes not ready to be fully committees to training (he still can't tell us when he needs to go, and I think he is still working on figuring out that sensation is the need to go). But he has urinated in the potty at least 4 times now (just by luck when we sit him on it) and he has had a BM on the potty once because Steven realize he was trying to go, so he acted fast and put him on the toilet) an he is getting very comfortable being on the potty, all good signs!
2. For the Summit Church. We so love our church family, it's such a great place and I'm very happy we get to be a part of it. Also, our small group, great people and great fellowship on Sunday evenings.
3. This weekend Steven travels to Houston to compete in the Texas state Bodybuilding Championships. I'm proud of how dedicated he has been to this hobby, and that he gas seen it through to a competition. I am also very ready for this show to be over and behind us so we can get back to some semblance of a normal family life. This extreme dieting and crazy demanding training schedule has been hard on ALL of us.
4. Next weekend (10/29/10), my mom, both sisters and I are heading to Canton, TX to go to First Monday's trade Days. If you don't know what I'm referring to, google it. It will blow your mind, guaranteed! Best. Shopping. Ever!
5. Today I began a new bible study with my teacher bible study group. We are studying "Battlefield of the Mind". I think its going to be a great study, and a wonderful time of fellowship for us all. I love my girls at work!

I love Fall!

Fall is my very favorite season. I love the cooler weather, the colors, the decorations. I'm not a big sports fan, but I even get pretty pumped for some college football on the weekends, especially since the HOGS are having a good season (for once).
This past weekend we (mom, Steven, Baby L and I) made our annual trip to the Pumpkin Patch in Mayflower, Arkansas, about 25 monutes from our home. And, as usual, we had a blast!

Lil' R

We have a little boy staying with us for respite care for seven days (9/24 to 10/1/10). He is super cute. I'll post a pic on the other blog soon. He is three years old, and he and Baby L are playing together pretty well. Some bickering over whose toys are whose, but other than that things are going okay. Lil' R has a really bad speech issue, we are understanding only about 50% of what he says, which is frustrating for him and us.
Thats all for now, super busy trying to keep up with two kiddos!

Writer's Block

I'm not sure about other bloggers out there, but I feel like some life events are just TOO important to not blog about. However, some things happen, and I don't really want to talk write about at that time...I guess I need time to process a bit before I rehash some things.
So, when one of this events happens, and I'm not quite ready to blog about it yet, but I still feel it must be included for this blog to really be an accounting of my life, I tend to enter a "bloggy holding pattern". Nothing goes in or out so to speak :) This is where I have been for the last month: Writer's blogger's block.

The event that I had to be ready to share before I could begin blogging again was Baby L's most recent court date. We went back to court on Tuesday, August 31, and this was set to be our adoption finalization hearing. As several posts had indicated leading up to that day, we fully thought we would leave court that day a forever family. All of our family we wanted present in court with us had taken off work, and were planning to be there. My mom and I had a full party planned, venue (the country club pool) was booked, decorations were bought, cake was ordered, email and Facebook invitations had been sent, we were all systems go.
Then, the Thursday prior to court, I got a call from L's adoption specialist late that afternoon. The DCFS attorney had been to the clerks office that say to submit our final intent to adopt paperwork so all would be in place for the hearing four days from then. When he gave the clerk the forms she informed him that he could not file an adoption intent on an open case. He replied that the case had closed on March 16 with the TPR. The clerk then informed him that an appeal had been filed by mom's attorney on June 22. So, this is still an open case. Therefore, we can not finalize.
I took the news really well...I actually never cried. I was surprised, I mean I really thought it was going to happen once we got down to two weeks and everything was still on target. But, alas, it wasn't time. And I took great comfort in knowing that even though we were surprised, that God was not. He knew all along. He knows when it will happen, it will be at the time He has ordained, and not a moment before. I also felt better knowing that for Baby L, this finalization is really not that important. I mean, nothing is really going to change for him. Well, he will have a new last name, but he doesn't know his last name now, so I don't think he will notice :). His school will be the same, his family will be the same, his church isn't going to change, his home will remain, as will all the major people in his life. This will just be a date we celebrate each year, but it won't matter to him if its August 31, or any other day. The ones who were majorly impacted by this delay is Steven and I. Its our security that will change once we finalize. And we do want that knowledge that L is ours forever, that NO ONE can come and take him; but this is also a good lesson in putting our trust in the Lord, because we are having to look to Him again for security, not a court system.

God is so good, and so faithful.

And I'm back, rejoining the bloggy world. I'm still busy, so I won't post all the time, but hopefully at least once a week now that my "bloggers block" is over.

Busy Days

So, school has begun...I am loving my new kids, and our schools new principal is really amazing...she has high expectations and standards, but I really like her, and I believe she is going to be a great thing for Williams Magnet.

I have had many days that have begun at 6 am, and not ended until well after 10 pm...I've been at school from 7am-7pm on a few days...the beginning of the school year is always kind of crazy, but with the new things and changes, I am really trying to stay on my toes.

Through this hectic work schedule, I have been really struggling with a lot of working-mommy guilt. Any mom who works knows what I am talking about. That sick feeling that your child is spending inordinatly more time with their childcare providers than they are with you. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE L's daycare, and he has some great ladies there, who I know really love him. But I am still MISSING my days with him from the summer, and just missing him in general. He is growing and changing so much, he says and does new things literally EVERYDAY right now, I just want life to slow down a bit so I can relish in these days a bit more.

In other news:
We do still go to court Tuesday, BUT we will no longer be finalizing our adoption on that day. There have been some delays at the court. I'll explain more another day, when I have more time. I'll just leave it at nothings changing, L's not going anywhere, its just another delay...imagine that?!