Christmas Gifts

Baby L got TONS of great new toys for Christmas!

And, best of all (in my opinion, ugh-umm, I might have picked it out myself as well...) was the Scout toy by Leapfrog. This little guy is so cool because I hooked him up to my computer and programed him, he says Baby L's name to him, he talks about dogs, the color orange, and avocados (all favs of L's) and he sings the songs I program him to. Very cool!
Steven and I also got many really cool gifts as well.
A couple of mine I am most excited about are:

My new iPod Nano, with the Vera Bradley carrying case.

And the new, huge, crock pot!
My dad also gave us all (Steven, me, Brooke and Justin) the same thing...a trip!Next June he is taking all of us on a cruise! Yipee! I love cruises, we will leave out of New Orleans, and visit two ports in Mexico. It will be 5 days and nights of Caribbean bliss, and fun with family.

Lastly, its a thing in my family, to give Christmas ornaments that are symbolic of important events or things of the year. These are always special gifts, that I look foward to opening, and especially love giving. I have even begun giving meaningful ornaments to my coworkers (3 other partner teachers in 3rd grade whom I am very close with). I just love that they are symbolic of the year past, and a keepsake, and just so fun.

This first one is the one from my mom for our trip to Hawaii over Spring Break: This is the one from my mom for Steven and I for the journey we began this year, as foster parents. I love that it is a quilt background, that is so perfect for the way God is piecing together our family.
I also gave our family two very special ornaments this year, but you will have to go here to see these.

Christmas Day

At around 8 am our family all arrived to our house to open gifts. We all had a great time and enjoyed each others company so much. Its been a big year for everyone in our family and we all reminisced as we opened gifts about the milestones and events of the past year.

Oliver was acting weird all Christmas morning, we joked that Santa must have scared him when he visited the night before!
Brooke and Justin (the newly weds).
Galen looking handsome in his new hat.
Mom was excited about her new game.

Later in the morning we all headed over to my grandparents house here in Maumelle for lunch, there were like 17+ people squeezed in, and it was great!

I almost forgot...

...to share the big news!

Baby L took 3 steps on his own tonight! He is still far from "walking" but he is on his way!

Christmas Eve

Our Christmas Eve was wonderful this year. We began the day by having over Steven's family for lunch and visiting. Chris, Cathi, and sweet, new baby Sadie came. As did Steve and Suzi (FIL and MIL) and Meliss with Dakota (our 3 month old nephew), and his aunt and uncle Tanya and Gary, who are also foster parents, and they brought their three beautiful kiddos.

We all had a nice time visiting and the food was good (patting myself on the back, and thanking Kevin from Benson's Catering for the fabulous smoked Turkey). Gifts were exchanging, and fun was had by all, except poor Sadie, who was not feeling too well that day, as you can see here:
She was mad at Uncle Steven here, but would have been similar with just about anyone with that gassy belly!

Everyone stayed over for several hours, and when they all left Baby L crashed! He was pooped, he had so much fun playing with all the kids! While he napped, and Steven wrapped his last few gifts, I left and went to Christmas Eve church services with my family, then came home, bathed and fed the boy, and Steven passed out all the gifts (that were delivered to our house right after church).
Brooke and Justin's pile:

Mark, Lauren and Caitlyn's pile:

Steven, Baby L, and my pile:

And Mom and Galen's pile:


To see Baby L playing among the piles, go here.

Good day...

I'm feeling good today. Finally totally better from my virus, and rested and less stressed now that school is on break, and court is behind us for now.

I went and picked L up from daycare as soon as I was through in court today, and we went to Kroger to get all the groceries I need to finish my cooking and preparing for Christmas Eve at our house, and Christmas day meals with my family.
Then L and I stopped by and spend time visiting with my grandparents, and then my aunt and uncle. It was a nice, relaxing afternoon.

For a detailed update on how court went today, go over here.

Sick and Tired...

...or tired and sick.

Whichever you prefer, that's where I've been the last several days. Tired, from, well, life in general, and sick (literally). I got that nasty vomiting bug I had two weeks ago again starting Friday afternoon. I swear I puked at least 15 times Friday evening...I felt horrible. Then Saturday I was just so wiped out from it all...not how I would have chosen to begin my Christmas break, but that's what I got.

I have a prayer request, but it has to be posted over here. Please click over, and read this (ya' know, if you are able to, 'cause your a bid of mine and I've invited you to read my private blog all about fostering and my foster kids, if you want an invite, by the way, just leave me a comment, and if your lucky, I might email you one!). All silliness aside, we have court tomorrow, and would appreciate prayers from any and all who would be willing to lift them up for us and specifically for Baby L.

Welcome to the world...

Sadie Grace Barnhart

was born at Conway Regional at 7:19 pm on 12/16/09, to proud parents, Chris and Cathi Barnhart (my brother-in-law and his wonderful wife). She weighed in at 8 lbs, 8 ounces, and 20 inches long. A beautiful, big baby girl!

Candy Making Queens

On Saturday, Mom, Brooke, Lauren, Mama Joan, and I gathered at my house to have our annual Christmas Candy making day. We usually gather at Aunt Marla's, because she has the biggest, and most accommodating kitchen, but she couldn't join us this year (she had to attend the funeral of a 4 year old little girl...so heart breaking).
Mama Joan spent the majoruty of the day dipping the carmel clusters to make millionaires.
Mom showing off the goods as she pulled them from the fridge where they had been cooling.

"drop" candies on the counter setting up...yes, we make enough candy to send an entire army into a diabetic coma...but we share with a lot of people as well. Home made Christmas Candy makes a great gift!

We have to lay out and label all the containers before we begin divying out the goods...don't want to leave anyone out!

On a side note...we were all thrilled to see how relaxed my new brother-in-law is with the family...he assumed they usual male position while the queens make candy, on the couch, watching some sort of sports programing...MEN, grrrr!

Sorry for the lack of updates...

...but I left work early last Friday, with a vomiting little boy, then over the weekend, he made Steven and I sick as well. We both stayed home from work on Monday, sick as dogs.

So I haven't been up for too much blogging, or picture editing, but I do have a several of Baby L from the wedding that I wanted to share...

To see more of these cute piggies in the sand, you'll have to click on over here.

"I missed you honey!"

Those words I did NOT hear from Steven while I was away from Tuesday to Sunday in Florida for Brooke's wedding. He did say many times that he missed Baby L, and that he wanted us both back home...though he never said it so explicitly about missing me. But I knew he did, especially when I arrived home to find this:

That's right, its a 'Griswald Christmas' around these parts!

I know he must have missed me, a lot, because I had mentioned wanting lights outside the house a few days before I left town, and he apparently was listening...and taking notes, and when he goes, he goes ALL OUT!

To get the full effect, you need to watch the (short) video below. Turn up your speakers, yes, that is music you hear, blaring out of our house/lights, and the ones around the yard are blinking in time with the tune...pretty cool, huh?

*****************
There are tons of pictures to come from the wonderful festivities in Florida...a teaser/previews can be seen below, on my Wordless Wednesday post...also, check my other blog to see several new posts (that I was sneaky and post dated) on Baby L.

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Things

Baby L did eventually have his visit with his mom on Wednesday, it was WAY late in the day. I really don't know much about it...I was at the daycare when the transportation guy dropped him off, he said the visit was "fine". I emailed his caseworker Thursday to ask about how it went. She responded saying she wasn't the one who supervised it, but she would ask and let me know. I haven't heard back from her.

I HATE visits. They are just no fun...I don't like the feelings, or the anxiety I get, but I have felt bathed in prayer. So thank you to all of our family and friends who have been praying for us, specifically for me and how I would (emotionally) cope with this change. It was hard, but I have felt the love, I'm doing much better today. Really I'm just glad to have the first visit over with, it was hard to broach this, I know it will get easier, and I won't get so worked up each time following (at least I hope I don't...I'll surely develop stomach ulcers, and a nervous tick if I go through that each time!).

So, in celebration of a new day, a new attitude, and love for my two favorite boys (Steven and Baby L), here are a few shots from our family pictures I just got in today!

No longer holding my breath...

...that's it! As of today I am no longer holding my breath for this visit to happen! We have had too many cancellations...today's cancellation makes 3. This is getting just ridiculous.
I am feeling frustrated with the bureaucracy that is DHS (and all state departments) today.
Actually, I'm just feeling a bit frustrated in general, and melancholy...

Just wanting to go home and snuggle Baby L to help my mood, but no, alas I am stuck up at school waiting for a PTA meeting that I have to attend, that is sure to be "very important, and quite stimulating". Blah.

To read more details on the 'visit that just wouldn't happen', go here.

Thank You...

...from the bottom of my heart, to all veterans. Your sacrifices have sustained this great country, and provided us with the many freedoms and privileges we all enjoy. I took L over to Lake Wilastein this afternoon to visit the Vetran's Memorial and honor those who have served our country with their lives. Thank you for all of your service to all vetran's.

To see more pictures of Baby L's visit to the Vetran's Memorial, just click on over

here.

Wordless Wednesday (Brooke's Wedding Shower)

A sweet little boy...

...can be seen over here.

Prayer Request

I feel sick to my stomach. I dropped Baby L off at daycare a little while ago, and I am just sick about his visitation today. I am so worried he is going to feel scared, and abandoned when he is picked up from school by a stranger and them spending time with someone he doesn't know (he surely will not remember bio mom after having not seen her since he was 3 months old, he is 9 months now).

I am just sick about this whole thing. I want to cry. Its so hard for me to relinquish control. I feel helpless to comfort and protect the baby I am being entrusted to do just that for.

Please send some prayers my way, and well as prayers for comfort for Baby L.
*******UPDATE*******
Update at 10:06 am:
I just received an email from L's caseworker, his visit for today is canceled. She (the caseworker) is going to be busy running all over town with bio mom trying to get her re-enrolled in school today, so they won't be at the office to have the visit. She wasn't sure is we would reschedule the visit for another afternoon this week, or just wait until next Monday and try again. I am relieved, and feel like I can breathe again...at least for today. I know this visit is inevitable, but delaying as long as possible feels okay by me at this point!

I still am request prayers for myself to have peace about this visit whenever it occurs, for Lamar that he will be protected, and not confussed by bio mom's visits, and for bio mom, that she be healthy, safe, and happy in her new foster home, and that God give her (and me) peace with whatever His will is for Baby L's life.

Better...

I am feeling much better after a few days of perspective since my last post. Thanks for the prayers and love I have receive from my friends and family, I have really felt God comforting my heart in this scary change, and I know it is in part because you have petitioned to Him on my behalf! I have felt the love for sure.

Steven has also been a great in stiller of perspective and support through this. He was quick to remind me that this may or MAY NOT change anything about how the judge rules on L's custody in December. But whether it does or not, L is not likely leaving our home anytime soon. He will be here, even if not permanently, for quite a while most likely. That also, was something I needed to be reminded of, and helped me cope.

Now, we will see how I am doing on Monday, when L is being picked up by a DCFS worker at daycare to go to his first visit with bio-mom in 5= months...I will definitely be in need of more prayers for comfort (and sanity) on Monday afternoon. I will be picking him up from the DCFS office myself at 3:30pm.

***************

Onto more exciting news:

Mom and I have volunteered to help my dear friend Christie, who happens to be the 'keeper' of the Pulaski County Heart Gallery, get pictures made of about 50 kids in Pulaski county who are currently available for adoption. These are not all the kids who are currently searching for a forever family, just the ones who are new to the system, or have been in for so long that their Heart Gallery photo needs to be updated.

Please pray for mom and I as we drive to transport these beautiful children that we will get them to and from the photo session safely and that we will be able to show these kids some love and kindness for the time they are in our care.

Please pray for Christie and all the photographers, coordinators and other volunteers, that they all be blessed by this day, and in turn be blessings to the children they are helping.

But, most of all, please pray for these children. Each of them is a precious, unique creation gift from God. These children all deserve to have loving, supportive, PERMANENT families. Please let this photo shot lead many, many parents to the children they are supposed to make their forever families.

Crushing fear....

I have a prayer request. I just got an email from Baby L's case worker (I had contacted her with questions about a few things), and she informed me that L's mom (16 yo) has come back into foster care.
There are many repercussions to this. Many of them very, very good. She will be safer and cared for in foster care, her life on the run with her mom was extremely rough.
The caseworker asked me to look at my schedule because we would now need to set up a time for mom to visit with L.
She did say that mom will have a limited amount of time to meet the courts demands, but her being back and in care again may change the court hearing we were looking at in December.

I have such mixed feeling about this news. I'm feeling sick to my stomach with grief and overwhelming worry about the possible changes her return to care could impact onto L. And our family. I need prayers for peace, comfort, and abundant awareness of God's power in all of this. He knew that this is what was going to happen in L's case, I am the one surprised by this, not Him.

A lot has happened...

...in the past year, since I wrote my first blog post!

What a great, busy, blessed, and amazing year it has been! I am so glad I decided to follow in my coworkers footsteps to keep a blog journal of my life. A place I can share stories, pictures, feelings, and all the other messy-wonderful things that make up my life with my friends, family, and complete strangers :).

This blog, and the story of my life it is chronicling, is such a testament to the love and grace of God my Father! I hope that with all of my life, including the parts I portray and share on this blog, I am honoring Him. He is my Savior, my King, and the Lord of my life. I can't imagine where my life would be all together if it weren't for God's hand and plan in creating and molding me into the person He desires me to be, but especially with all the changes Steven and I have encountered, sought out, and embraced in out lives this past year. When I first began blogging, being foster parents was something Steven and I had only discussed in passing, and not within the several years leading up to last fall. We actually had a tentative plan to begin trying to get pregnant ourselves this past summer, which we were discussing and anticipating at this point in our lives a year ago today.
But God, in His infinite wisdom, humor, and grace intervened; He made it clear that He had other plans for our lives. I don't know still what His ultimate plan is for Steven and I and the growth of our family. However, I can say,in complete honesty, I am okay with that. I trust my God to take care of us, lead us, and show us along the way what He intends for Steven and I to do with and for these amazing children we are getting the opportunity to serve. I believe we will adopt, likely multiple times, we may also at some point have a child of our own genetics, but whatever God has in store, I am so glad we have chosen to submit our lives to His will. I mean, who better than the God of the universe to make these decisions for us?

Joy

"I have Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Down In My Heart, Down in my Heart to Stay!"

Why do I have such great Joy in my heart on this rainy Tuesday (in which I am at work late, having parent conferences blogging, wasting time, piddling until I can head home--about 5:30, after my last conference) afternoon you ask?

That's easy! Because on Friday this week I have scheduled Molly Maids to come and deep clean my house for me.

I mean I have many, many blessing in my life that bring me great Joy each time I think of them: my handsome husband, my precious foster son, my health, great coworkers, fabulous family, the fact that I serve an Awesome God, I could go on and on...

But, on this afternoon, I am focusing on the joy I feel due to my fevered anticipation of paying two lovely ladies to come in to my home, purge it of its dust, grime, and filth, and leave for me a cleansed, clean home to return to after work on Friday afternoon.
I can't wait! I LOVE to have a clean house, I DO NOT love to clean my house. Well, honestly I used to be better about keeping up with my housekeeping, but with a baby to love on a play with, dusting, vacuuming, and scrubbing has moved a bit further down my priority list. But I am hosting my little sister, Brooke's, wedding shower at my house on Sunday afternoon! So my house had to be cleaned. It really isn't messy, I keep things picked up fine, its just grimy. I haven't dusted, mopped, scrubbed, or wiped a baseboard in I don't know how long. Its been long enough that my houses filth has been really getting on my nerves as of late, especially in anticipation of the shower, but every time I tried to think about how to tackle this task, I just got overwhelmed, and the task began looking more and more daunting by the day. So I finally decided once and for all to just pry open my pocket book, and pay to have it done for my cheap (and dirty) self.
Steven and I actually used to have a housekeeper, for about 6 months, but she quit cleaning houses and got a office job, and we decided that with foster babies on our visible horizon at that point that we could probably but that money to good use somewhere else, so we just never found a new housekeeper. I do not intend to hire another maid on a permanent basis, but it will be nice to have established a relationship with a good, reliable cleaning service that I can call on in a pinch, or when I just let it get too far away from me like this again. I won't need as thorough a cleaning as I am having these ladies do for me again though for a good year. I am having them clean baseboard, dust ceiling fans and ficus plants, wipe down air return vents, the works! Basically a "Spring Cleaning" but in the fall!