At Least They Know They're Bad At It

Ah, it's grading-time again in this English teacher's classroom. Which means, I spend a whole day preparing myself to read some incredible work.

Many of my students either don't know or don't care about grammar, spelling, and mechanics. Few know how to tell a story. These are high school kids... I'm doing my best, but I can't overcome motivational deficiencies.

But, at least my students generally know they're not good writers. They don't think that their work is of publishable quality. They just want to get their credit and move on. Sadly, few actually want to learn anything while earning the credit.

I can only imagine if I was reading their work in a slush pile. I'm already somewhat disheartened by the lack of quality, time, and attention. (Why, yes, I do worry about the future in these kids' hands.) It would be awful to slog through such poorly written work from people who mistakenly think they are good at it. People who want to see me select their work as the best of all, suitable for publication.

While my collection of writing samples is from a particular, low-standards group, I do, from time to time, get students who think they are good and would love to be published. Students who've never noticed how quotation marks are used, who 'have no idea' where to put periods in their writing, who don't even bother to break their writing in paragraphs (unless required by their teacher who's eyes glaze over with huge chunks of horrible text.)

In writing, as with many things, I've come to the conlusoin, that those who are bad often don't realize that they are bad at it. Bad drivers never see that their close-calls or citations are from their own actions. Bad writers don't think that their poor handling of the craft is reason for rejection. Those with poor social skills may just think the world hates them. And American Idol is a lovely tribute to the people who think they can sing... but shouldn't ever be allowed to, again.

Yes, I'm procrastinating. That's something I know I'm good at...

Schedules, Routines and Habits

I'm not real good at any of those... Oh sure, I have schedules. In a few more days, my entire week will be regimented into approximately 2 hour blocks. The price of being a teacher.

I can barely remember to take my meds every morning, and I've been on those same meds for years now. So much for that "three months and it's routine" stuff.

But one of the things that I do try to do, with varying degrees of success, depending on which way my life is imploding, is to write every day. Sometimes, it's just a matter of opening the WIP and reading things over, maybe tweaking a little, rearranging this. At least I've done something that day. I hate when that's all I can accomplish, but having just had a week where watching 'House Hunters' was mentally taxing, I'm reconsidering my position on barely-productive writing days.

The goal I like to set is 500 words. It's a nice managable goal, not too much. I don't beat myself up over not reaching, especially when there are other things in life, like, say, maintaining a relationship with one Husband or working on projects for other jobs. And knowing that I'm going to try to get another 500 words keeps my story writing thoughts more focused. I have a goal to work towards and something to work out. As opposed to starting yet another scrap of a new story. Like the three on my phone... =P

I can't schedule the time. I won't listen to me. I can't punish myself for not getting there nor reward myself for doing it. I still don't listen to me. But I know that the only way to eat that elephant is one bite at a time. The over-confident belief that I'm writing stories that are good and different and deserve someday to be published is enough. That's what gets me through the tough days. That and my love of conquering challenges.

But I'm not going to pretend that what works for me is right for anyone. I always hated those writers who insist (INSIST!) that a dedicated writer will get up before work and write a couple hundred words to start the day. I understand the rational, but really... my brain doesn't engage until sometime after 9am. Anything before that is akin to deciphering slug trails, except it's drool on the keyboard.

To me, the most important this is just making time to work on the writing. Add words, work on the story, and make progress. Morning, noon, night, regularly or in spurts. Every writer needs to find their own way, so long as they write, finish, and get better.

Write on!

A Social Networking Quandry

I do many different things with my time in a desperate attempt to make a few dollars. Amongst the long list is teaching alternative high school kids. Though if you ask the little darlings, they think they're all grown up. They also think I'm old, even though I'm not quite 30.

Anyway, a slight dilemma has come up of late and I'm still mulling over what to do about it. As the title suggests-- "suggests" like a pair of furry handcuffs "suggests" night time entertainment-- the issue is related to social networking. It does happen, on occasion, that I make a connection with one or more students in my class. And one of them will ask if I'm on myspace (or, less frequently, on Facebook.) While I'm not currently on myspace, I have considered putting up a page as a marketing/ networking tool. Facebook is not as bad as I thought it would be. Let's just not talk about those damn games on Facebook...

I'm not opposed to "friending" my students. Thinking about it, I've tentatively decided that I would wait until the student was no longer in my class. Avoid the appearance of impropriety. Okay, fine, fine.

But my social networking includes quite a bit of overlap from my writing life. For example, my Facebook profile has my blog posts set up in a feed, which does allow readers who visit Facebook but not this blog to still read my writings. Great.

But-- another but-- not all my writing is... "school appropriate." Now, if I wait until the students are graduated, 18+, etc, then technically, there's nothing inappropriate. But something just seems a little weird about that. While the public scandal and controversy would likely do well for getting my name out there, an eternal challenge for new writers, it could, however, seriously jeopardize my high school teaching career.

Though, I think I gotta be doing something write if kids who "hate school" want to friend their teacher on a social networking site. I just don't know how to handle it. Right now, I'm going with the indecision as a decision making technique-- do nothing and hope I can figure it out later.

Sales Pitch

So, I use 'The Big Sleep' in my Movies vs. Books course (an English credit.) It's an old book with unusual language and a narrator who's quirky. All reasons I love it, but consider the audience-- mostly guys who read only school books 'if they have to.' So I've got to sell this book, get them interested. It's not hard really.

My sales pitch sounds like a disclaimer: "If there's anyone who doesn't want to read a book that includes references to alochol use, drug abuse, murder, and pornography, you can let me know and I'll get you an atlernative book. There's nothing explicit, but these things are part of the book." They start reading the back of the book and flipping pages to see if they can spot the first instance of pornography.

I go on to say, "I would probably never get this book approved in a traditional high school. Again, there's nothing explicit, but there are potentially objectionable things in the story." They're already reading the first page.

Now, I wish I could hook an agent that easily.

A Stake Through the Heart Would Have Hurt Less

One of my summer school students finished her coursework early this summer. She puttered on the internet, but got bored of it.

I suggested that she could read-- I have a handful of novels that go with the English courses.

She scoffed, saying, "Who reads for fun?" I'm not sure if it was a serious comment, but it sure seemed like it.

Who does read for fun?

I love to read for fun. I read both fiction and non-fiction for fun. I've read articles on the internet and websites on poison ivy. I know I'm not alone.

But as a writer and an English teacher, it's always hard to find the students who don't consider reading to *be* fun. Though, I think a large part of the problem is that many of these kids have never really read anything that they enjoy. I mean, really enjoy. They've been forced to trudge through books in high school, and the idea of reading more like the ones they don't like can surely be a daunting task.

My Oldest Bother admits to having similar problems with finding fiction he wants to read.

Walk into a bookstore or library and while delightful to a bibliophile, it can be daunting nonetheless. I don't want to read bad books. No one does. But how hard is it to find what you want if you have particular preferences. Oldest Bother likes thrillers, action, something to keep him turning pages. I like hard female characters, preferrably in mysteries, and preferably without much romance. I do a lot of research to narrow down my list of potential books to a few at a time taht seem most closely matched to my requirements. Oldest Bother reads when it strikes him, and doesn't think about research.

And my student... she had already written of reading. In favor of anti-socail sites like My Space.

Hubby says I picked the wrong profession. High school kids aren't generally known for bright decisions. Hubby says I made it worse by picking an alternative high school where the percent of non-scholarly students is higher than the average high school.

I think I'm just a glutton for punishment. I am, afterall, a writer, too. Nothing says maschocist like pouring ones blood, sweat and tears into a manuscript or three, then sending it out for possible and likely rejection.

And maybe, just maybe, I can introduce the kids to Raymond Chandler or Elmore Leoanrd or James Cain and maybe, just maybe, they'll realize that it is possible to find interesting books.

Summer and Shorts

Been dabbling in Novel #2 on and off for a couple weeks here. Kind of stalled on it for a variety of reasons, the biggest one being-- holy hell why don't I have any time any more?!?

Summer school started last week, and it's going rather smoothly. I'm overseeing the independent study courses (the kids get their material in books or on-line and have to sit in class to get the requisite number of hours. It allows us to offer more variety with less teachers in a small setting. Anyway.) It's been kind of freaky, like I stepped into the Twilight Zone last Monday. Complete with strange illness. The kids are... working. Really well. That doesn't happen often. These kids aren't in summer school because they're highly motivated, hard-working scholars. Generally.

The only "problem" I've been having is that kid who's taking Algebra 2 on the computer. It's been a long time since I did any Algebra 2. Dammit, Jim, I'm an English teacher, not a math teacher! He's only in my room because there are only two kids in Algebra 2 and the math teacher has the many, many Algebra 1 and Geometry kids. And pre-algebra kids. So, I'm relearning Algebra 2. But even that isn't so bad. Exercise the synapses.

And the schedule's decent. Aside from the whole getting up at 630 in the morning thing. I'm out by 230 get paid for 8 hours (best part). And I get to sit at a computer when I'm not circling the room like a hungry Great White looking for a prey.

So why the hell can't I get any writing done? The only thing I've really made any progress on is a short story I wrote. Took a couple days, but it was nice and short and easy to work on in between circling and breaks and learning/teaching Algebra.

Either I'm bullshitting myself-- which does happen-- or it's easier to hop in and out of a short story than a novel. There's less to recall about what's going on or what needs to happen. Less to scroll through. And it takes less time, overall, from start to finish. I don't know about the rest of you, but that finish line is a great enticement.

I should really get my writing in now... I know that the next five months will not be kind in the free-time department. Someone should really talk to management about working too many hours. But I don't want to get me in trouble.

• Currently Reading: Idiot's Guide to Private Investigators
• Novel and Query Status: both have stagnated and will soon start breeding mosquitoes
• Current Song: Superman by Bush

Don't forget to check out the links to my stories-- I've added a new page to organize and display my shorts. And hopefully my novel(s).