Bye 2013

Last year at this time, I was filled with such hope. I just knew 2013 would make me a mom. Well that did not happen. As I sit quietly with three cuddly dogs, I reflect on the true pain this adoption has engrossed on me. These past two weeks in Buffalo have been filled with celebration. First and always foremost, the birth of our Savior. Christmas is a time to truly feel one with Jesus and I did thank him for sacrificing His life. I did get through Christmas with little tears shed. I am healthy and surrounded by loved ones and for that I am truly blessed.  My family tradition is the Polish Christmas Eve Wigilia. We go around with blessings of the new year, followed by the breaking of oplatek or Christmas wafer.

Then on December 28th, my only sibling married the love of his life. What a celebration it was. The day could not have been any smoother. The temperature even rose to an unheard of 40 degrees in Buffalo!!  Congratulations Tim and Laura.

It was not until the day after the wedding that my emotions got the better of me. The quiet times, when friends and family were gone. I was left alone in my deep sorrow. 2013 did not make me a mom. In fact, I am no closer now than I was a year ago. As 2013 comes to a very welcome close, I pray for everyone to have all their dreams come true. Happy New Year.

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Comments

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    KristenJanuary 1, 2014 at 3:07 PM

    Colleen I am so, so sorry that this year turned out the way it did. I completely understand that longing to be a mom and nothing anyone says can make you feel better - at least that was the case for me :(. PLEASE know that there are MANY of us praying for you. I am praying that your dreams of motherhood will come to fruition. I am praying that in these very dark days of the adoption journey that you will feel enveloped by God's love and that somehow, you can be filled with his peace that only he can give. I am also praying that God will give you wisdom- that he will lead you to your daughter and that you will be filled with the faith to follow him on any unexpected pathways he may take you. Much love to you and big {{{{hugs}}}}} ❤️

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