Women and the Cynical Bachelor (Twelve)

Do not read this advert (from March 3, 1928) until you've finished eating.

"A woman," said the Cynical Bachelor, "is a woman one-tenth of her life. For the other nine-tenths she is a model for clothes."

"My friend," smiled He Who is Post-Graduate in One Woman at least, "your point of view is oblique. A woman is never more truly a woman than when she is concerned with clothes. For her preoccupation with clothes is her aspiration to the ideal expression of her womanhood.

"And every woman can apply all her creative and interpretative power, unhampered, if she knows those admirable Studios for the Expression of Feminine Personality--the Emily Shops.

"Here, with all dresses distinctively smart, all prices delightfully moderate, her one problem is-- which of all these desirable frocks will most completely express her."

I do agree that women have room for EXPRESSION with their clothes, far beyond what men's clothing can express. But if women weren't REQUIRED to use these clothes to express themselves, perhaps it would be more acceptable for them to do it in other ways...particularly in ways not outlined by the editors of Vogue?

But I'm stopping before I sound like John Barth.

Women and the Cynical Bachelor (Eleven)

Emily Shops Inc. reveals to us the greatest of feminine virtues:

"All women are divided into two classes," said the Cynical Bachelor; "those who have money, and those who are persuading some man to give it to them."

"You are hopelessly Victorian," replied the Man Who Had Been Caught Young and Educated Wisely. "The two types of women are those who know what to do with money and those who do not.

"You have observed the species spendiferous, but your data is incomplete. Follow me into one of those little Salons of Feminine Sophistication, the Emily Shops, and I will show you Woman at her Best.

"Here you will find women who are buyers, not spenders. Here are women supremely happy, for here they have found clothes that mean to them the utter gratification of the greatest of feminine virtues, a Sense of Values."

This from February 18, 1928. These adverts are strangely hypnotic.

Women and the Cynical Bachelor (Ten)

Ugh, I've been reading these awful adverts from "Emily Shops" (Frocks and Frills for Women) for a few weeks now, and they drive me crazy. They're the type of "funny story" advertisement I've been quoting recently, but these are particularly bizarre. Here's episode ten, from January 28, 1928:

"A woman," said the Cynical Bachelor, "changes her mind as easily as she changes her dress."

"Let us be frank, old boy," said He to Whom Feminine Changes are a Natural Phenomenon, "a woman changes her dress often. But, in all things that really matter, she never changes her mind at all.

"For her mind is made up on the vital matter of being always attractive to men. And, granted she can find new dresses that reveal new facets of her attractiveness, she must change her clothes to keep from changing her mind.

"All she needs is some source of clothes that make attractiveness assured. And, if she knows those charming little Salons of Feminine Personality, the Emily Shops, she need never change her mind, and she can always change her dress, to the most fascinating effect."

WHAT? All of these ads make some weird generalization about "feminine psychology." Then, as if the generalization wasn't odd enough, they have to contort it into a promotion for Frocks and Frills...always in a single paragraph, and probably with very little time to think about it. So you get these offensive openings, followed by a "final thought" that's supposed to sell the clothes but only confuses you.

I should have started posting these earlier...if I run across more I'll put them up.