A blog written by a guy trying to get his mind around the existence of all the stupid, senseless, dim-witted, annoying, ridiculous, laughable and mindless things that people do every, single, day.
In the year of 2008, having lived in Hong Kong for more than eighteen years, I, Michael Rivera, felt the need to reach out to the wider global community, to have my voice heard, through the World Wide Web. At the time, I pondered how I could possibly write in a way that would achieve the world's attention, and what else is more universal, more relatable, than the beautiful emotion of hate?
Feel free to e-mail me if you have anything you want to share, suggest, criticize, inquire or comment on!
I remember going into a cinema without having any preconceived notion of what the movie I was about see would be about. Now, with instant texting, instant messenger, Facebook, Twitter (seriously, why did I get Twitter...), blogs updated every single day, and a general acceleration in word of mouth communication, I find myself going into movies already knowing whether the acting will be amazing or subpar, whether the plot'll be good or not, and what happens at the very end (and maybe even after the credits).
It effectively ruins the films for me, films like Wall-E, Up, and Avatar, just to name a few. Great 3-D movies, I understand the digital wonderfulness of them, but hey, let me just watch it and judge on my own accord, because the more you talk about it, the less impressed I can and am going to be.
Take the Oscars for example. I haven't watched the ceremony yet. But I already know which film wins Best Picture, and apparently, everyone is mad at George Clooney. Demi Moore and Sandra Bullock seemed classy and looked beautiful.
Now, you can lay the blame back on my own shoulders, for I signed into Facebook and Twitter and surfed the web extensively for the past few hours, denying what I know to be true, that when I watch the Academy Awards, it will be spoiled if I keep clicking from page to page, but hey, it's Monday morning, 9:30am. I just had breakfast, and I don't have a lesson until eleven.. this is what I do every morning, every day, like the Pinky and the Brain trying to take over the world. I have no time to blog or tweet or check my e-mails later, this is my routine.
Hollywood news just spreads so quickly, and movies get so hyped up, to the point where it's just not impressive, worthwhile or simply news anymore.
If everybody could not talk about Alice in Wonderland, that would be appreciated. I am a fan of Johnny Depp, and of Tim Burton, and of Lewis Caroll, and well, I don't want this to be another Wall-E sort of disappointment.
Bah, how can I blame anyone for talking about it, though, if they've seen it? What am I really asking for - that everyone conform to my own timetable and calendar before talking about certain TV shows, music albums, or top grossing blockbusters?
In our lives, we all hear the same clichéd line at social gatherings whenever we introduce ourselves to someone new. "Please don't hate me if I don't remember your name the next time I see you, I'm terrible with names!"
What is that? That's not a good demonstration of social skill and sensitivity. Is that what you want to introduce yourself as, as Clifford, the guy who's bad with names, or as Christine, a bit of a bonehead with the inability to remember anything? Show a bit of interest in this interaction, mate.
And you know what they say the next time they see you?
"Hi, have I met you before? I'm so sorry, I'm so bad with names. Again, so sorry!"
Excuse me? That's your excuse? Maybe I shouldn't have even bothered with your name. How much more disrespectful and insulting can you be? Why can't you remember a simple name? Are you at all invested in this relationship?
What was that? You're more of a face person? What the Hell is that supposed to mean? You remember my face, but you haven't registered my name? Tell me, what the f**k is the use in memorizing a nameless face?
You say you usually remember people's faces, their voices, what they're wearing, and if they had something really nice on. That's the way to sound like a creepy klepto. Can't imagine what it must be like in the case you find someone sexually attractive. The focus is probably brought even further away from the person's name, and not just on the person's face anymore.
What about you? Why are you bad with names?
You say you get distracted by trying to make a good impression and you get nervous. Jesus, what did I ever do to make you feel you had to make a good impression and nervous? I've barely said anything. Do I look like a royal prince, searching the social scenes of the modern age for prestigious companions? ...No!
And what about you? You say you "instantly dive into analyzing people's personalities and forget to remember the names." I reckon you need professional help, my friend, because I feel violated in a Freudian kind of way. Since that emotion's so rare, that can't be good.
After a couple of months of having to endure this problem time and time again, with working in a place I've never worked in before, with coming to university meeting all these people for the first time, now, whenever I meet someone and they tell me their name, I make sure to instantly respond with, "My name's Mikey, don't worry. I'm very good with names, and I'll be sure to remember yours."
A week or so ago, I was using someone's iPhone to check my e-mails, until I started to notice that I was creating tiny impressions on the screen with the small ridges and minuscule valleys located on my fingertip. It bothered me, and I attempted to make it all better by simply 'wiping' it off, wrongfully with my fingertip. This only achieved a smudgy gash of fingertip oil (is it actually oil?) spread out diagonally across the display. So then I reached into my shirt, poked my shirt from the inside, and tried to wipe the screen. The weave of my shirt's fabric just made it the smudge worse.
I hate fingerprints on television screens, mirrors, cutlery made of stainless steel, magnifying glasses, snow globes and paperweights, vases, marbles, calculator displays in mathematics class, scalpels in biology class, beakers and conical flasks in chemistry class, lenses in physics class, rulers, protractors,metal keys, CDs, aluminum foil, glasses/spectacles, computer monitors, metal doorknobs, windows, anything laminated, iPod screens, the front-faces of alarm clocks, lighters, sunglasses, glass cabinets, glass doors, those plastic lids that protect airplane food, those plastic cups on airplanes, airplane windows, the walls of greenhouses, shiny Rubik's cubes, tiled floors and walls, coins, pianos, knife edges, good-quality playing cards, beads, light bulbs, photographs, mahjong tiles, the faces of some wristwatches, folder slots, guitars and other instruments, especially drum cymbals, hard covered books, et cetera.
I think just prints in general peeve me. The worst case for me just has to be lipstick (or lip oiliness in general) on the edge of a glass.
No, no, scratch that. The worst occurrence is when people sit down when they're sweaty, so they leave giant butt marks with their perspiring posteriors.
Actually, no. The worst instance of fingerprints for me simply is a bunch of kindergartners deliberately painting their hand in order to make prints. It's intentionally done. And that's appalling.
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