Downtime

Music: World Spins Madly On by The Weepies

I'm sure there comes a phase in student's life when he/she becomes lazy, demotivated, with lack of mood to study.. and all that. A bump on the road before the student picks up the pace again and get the momentum back.

Now is that phase for me.

I've skipped the whole morning class today, which is a first in 4 months.

This semester we are focused on learning about systems engineering and project management. The fact that its a theoretical, generic, and philosophical doesn't really bother me, although i do prefer technical subjects, learning how and why things work, after all that's how I've been trained as an engineer. Its the prof that's demotivating me. No doubt this prof is very knowledgeable in his field, but lecturing while looking on the ground, talking at a pace slower than a turtle walks (and almost always doesn't make sense, he talks all over the place despite his good english), giving vague instructions for assignments, not giving enough guidance to do our project, and the icing on the cake is changing our project halfway when we've done all the ground work for the previous project title that we were supposed to do. And now we have to start over. The reasons are noble though, with these new project titles we will be able to apply systems engineering and learn it better. But to have to accept the fact that I wasted all those time working on the old project only to have them being disregarded, what a waste of my precious time! It just boggles the mind why the prof didn't give us this project title that he wants us to do at the start of the semester.

We work in groups, and my friends chose me as a group leader, a position that I didn't want to hold but had to anyway, and they look to me for instructions and guidance, although we do work together. But the responsibility is still there. Yesterday we had a group meeting, and my group mates really had no idea how or what to do with regards to the new project. They relied on me to know it all and explain to them. I too had a hard time trying to comprehend our tasks and assignment. Imagine if I didn't understand anything, what would happen? Our group would be in limbo, clueless. I'm not exactly complaining here though. I've realized that its not that easy being a leader, even in a small group like this, even though my group mates are there to help me, unconsciously they still wait for my directions and instructions. And I'm not used to telling people what to do. I'm still getting used to it, to the responsibility. It would be easier if they aren't my friends who I hangout with everyday. The crazy part is that my group mates cannot know that I'm demotivated, that I'm almost giving up, that I don't know anything, what I'm really feeling. It would affect the whole mood and dynamics of my group. Ahh the pressure!!!

This is definitely a learning process for me. I've realized that now that I'm writing all this down. Hey I've actually forgotten how it helps to write down things here, Haven't wrote anything much for so long, it does give me a clearer picture on what the hell is going on with me and my life right now.

I hope I get my momentum back soon. We have 2 midterms this week, and 1 next week. With 2 presentations on our project status in between. I only have 5 days to do it all.

Just a phase. It'll all be over soon. God help me. 

Finally, an update!!

Music: Ma Boy by SISTA19

Apparently, I cannot be trusted. I promised to write last week but I didnt, and now I've been back for the past 3 days, doing nothing.. which is great!!!! finally have time to watch himym... finished it just now.

I actually just got back from shooting a promo vid for a high school specializing in nuclear. hahah. it was actually my second shoot. had another about 3 weeks ago for our school's promo vid.. omgggg im a celebrity!!! hahahahahahhaaa..

where do i even start? its been 3 months since i've been here, its been a hectic period.. imagine this, classes 9am to 3pm everyday, and sometimes it runs until 5pm or 6pm. Lunch break is only 1 hour, from 12-1pm.
assignments and homeworks are given almost everyday!. on top of that we have final exams to sit for. the amount of new things ive learned in the span of 3 months is unbelievable! but i think i've forgotten it all during this 10-day break hehe.

but what makes this all bearable is the people here.. my koreans and international friends.. the school staff, the professors and lecturers.. they've been really kind and supportive.. the camaraderie is awesome. there are only 54 students here, stuck in a village in the middle of nowhere.. we do everything together, like a close-knit family, its like my days in uniten all over again. its wonderful.

the location of my school is isolated, because we are surrounded by nuclear power plants (NPP).. but the view is awesome!! my balcony overlooks the east sea.. the other side is japan. nowadays its not cold so i can open my sliding door, and hear the sound of the waves when i go to sleep.. every morning i will spend some time on the balcony just looking at the sea, enjoying the sunrise.. and in the evenings, the sunset. whenever its full moon, the scenery is so damn beautiful on a clear day. im definitely gonna miss this after i graduate. btw its gonna be in march 2014.

the experience is very different from when i was in the states (im talking about international friends, i love the malaysians in umich of course). the relationships and friendships i have with the fellow students are real and genuine. I didnt have any american friends that i really connected with or close to.. i think one of the main reason is that we are asians here. I've realized that asians in general are very similar in thinking and also culture-wise. and its easier to understand each other here. americans and europeans are different. so maybe that is why.

ive been to some places around korea, school trips, and did my own traveling of course. we now have a 10-day semester break. classes resume next monday. this trimester should be less hectic i think. i hope so. well that was what my prof told me. oh yeah i will working part-time as a TA to the Dean Professor here starting next week. im really excited about it. i got one of the best profs, which in fact i hinted to the student affairs staff that i wanted to be this particular prof's TA hahahaha. thankfully the prof also agreed to have me as his TA.

about a month ago i went to my first concert in korea!! the group is called Busker Busker... they are not kpop of course. they are now really hugeeeeee here... make their own songs, play their own music, the songs are awesome.. love this band!!!!

one thing awesome about korea is that 70% of its land mass is covered with hills and mountains.. i can pretty  much go hiking anywhere i want. its freakin awesome! a few weeks ago i went hiking (but really but close), in a military area.. the hill is in one of the npp compound nearby, we had to get special permission etc.. i can't show the pics here coz actually pics are not allowed, but i took some secretly anyway.. and when i tried to locate the area on my iphone gps, it was blocked. hahahhah.

 last saturday i went hiking to a mountain nearby seoul.. quite taxing but the view i got to see from the peak was well worth it. i planned a 5 day trip to seoul, and my friends who decided to go with me let me decide on everything. so of course they had to travel my way.. i.e. there must be a hiking outing of course, and lots and lots of walking, cheap hostels bla bla bla. they were surprised at how little they spent in total, including shopping! hahahah. in the end everybody was freakin tired but hey they told me they enjoyed it very much so im very happy.. the hostel we stayed at had a nice rooftop and we hungout there every night. drinking coffee and just talking.. one thing that i miss is lepaking at the mamaks in malaysia hahah.. i also miss nasi lemak and roti canai and teh tarik.

truth be told, im very unaware about what's going on in malaysia right now, or even updates of friends for that matter.. i skype with my family like once a month.. im pretty much living in my own little world here.. omg how can i forget, we actually have a free karaoke room here!!! open 24 hours hahahaha...lots of english songs too...recently we had a book fair whereby the school let us choose the books we want to have in our library.. i went bonkers. i chose soooo many books, i can read them all for free... crazy.. i cant even find the time to read with all the studying i have to do.. but nonetheless, i really appreciate the school's effort.

i guess its really to see that im very very very happy here.. to think that i was depressed for not being able to further my studies in UK last year.. i got into manchester for their nuclear program but tnb wouldn't let me go. Allah knows what is best for us.

i think the next thing i have to do before the break ends is upload some pics on fb. wait for it!!!! till i write again, i wonder when.. hahahhh.