Remembering Sam

This memorial day there are memories of a specific veteran on my mind, and I can't let the day end without finally sharing this story I've carried in my heart for more than 7 years. 

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Sam Waller was a cousin on my husband’s side of the family – Rusty’s grandfather’s double first cousin. (For those wondering, it means a set of brothers married a set of sisters – making their children not just first cousins, but double first cousins!) Sam grew up very close to Rusty’s grandfather, and they made many special memories together through the years.

Sam served in the army, in both Korea and Vietnam. We knew he was a veteran, but didn’t find out until after his death that he’d been awarded 2 bronze stars and a silver star for his acts of heroism “beyond the call of duty”. We hang an engraved silver star on our Christmas tree each year in loving memory of him. 

You see… Sam was more than just a distant cousin to us. He is a man who changed our lives forever. After his time in the military, he retired to Thailand. And when we decided to move to Thailand for several months of 2011 to start a partnership there for The Sound of Hope, Rusty’s grandmother insisted that we look him up. She wrote him letters about us, and he was elated by the idea of us visiting. So he sent his contact info (via mail) and set up a friend to pick us up a couple of days after we arrived.

We weren’t sure what to expect. This was an 80 year old man living in Thailand, that we’d never met before… and we were nervous! But what we found was a family treasure.  (Those of you who followed my blog back when we lived in Thailand, may remember the posts I shared about sweet Sam!)

Sam wept when he met us, so thrilled to be with family (even through he didn’t know us). And in the year to come – we developed the sweetest, most special relationship with him and the precious nurse who cared for him like family, Thida. (He loved you Thida! And we are forever indebted to you for the ways you loved and cared for him.) He treated us like his grandkids (which I know Rusty’s Papaw would have loved). He took us to his favorite restaurants, out for “dips” of ice cream, and fed us loads of snacks. He sat up late telling us stories about his life, his travels and about the family. He liked to spoil us and surprise us. I loved watching him laugh… and watching him pray over his food with clasped hands and tears in his eyes. He had such a tender heart.

We told him our family stories, and stories about our travels. He loved hearing about our work, and became extremely interested in what he could do to help the kids in our care. I will never forget the tears streaming down his face one day as he watched a video of a new roof on the boy’s dorm in the refugee camp (that had been replaced with the donation he’d given). Before that, there had been water pouring in the damaged roof. He just kept telling us, “I had no idea so little could do so much”. He was a generous soul.

We introduced Sam to CDs (which he called “tiny records”) and a USB to play his favorite music. We skyped him to stay in touch when we were back in the US, and even managed some Skype calls between him and Rusty’s grandmother (both in their 80’s) – one from Thailand with Sam, and one from Arkansas with Rusty’s MeMaw! Those were quite the scenes! While in Thailand we took Sam out to our favorite place for dinner too, and brought over birthday cake for his very last birthday on this earth. I am so glad we got to be with him to sing and have him blow out a candle that day!

Happy Birthday Sam! from Rusty Jackson on Vimeo.

We knew Sam had cancer, but we didn’t know he’d be taken so soon after we’d gotten to know him. He’d been getting treatment in Bangkok, but took a turn for the worse while we were in the States, and quickly declined. But before he would allow them to admit him into the hospital ICU, he forced his friend to stop at the bank. That night, he called to tell us he was wiring us money (from Thailand). He wanted us to give some to 3 elderly family members he loved, to help take care of them in their final years. He wanted some to be used for our Girls Home in Thailand. He wanted some to be used for the Children’s Home we were trying to build in India. And the rest, he wanted us to have to “take care of yourselves”. 

In yet another act of selflessness (just like his silver and bronze stars) – he wanted to be sure others were taken care of. When he was at his weakest, and should have been taking care of himself, he was focused on everyone else – just like a true hero.

Little did Sam know, Rusty and I were praying about adopting a little girl from Thailand in those days. God had placed that specific desire into our hearts, and it was a calling we couldn’t shake. We’d told no one – not even our parents. Our greatest fear was the money. How could we fundraise for an expensive international adoption, when we were already fundraising for our nonprofit? How could we ask people to choose between giving money to adopt our child, and money to support the kids in our care? It seemed impossible.

But then Sam came through with the most extraordinary gift that still feels and sounds like a fairytale. While we were praying about adopting, a “distant relative in a faraway land” gifted us the money we needed. It was wired from Thailand in Thai Baht - while we were praying about adopting a little girl from Thailand!!! (So you can see why, when all the doors seemed closed to Thai adoption for the next year, we KNEW we were supposed to adopt from Thailand! THIS was our confirmation!) Because our process lasted longer than expected we did have to raise a little extra money for travel… but ALL of our adoption fees were paid in full by sweet Sam. [*When my uncle heard the story he remarked, "Paid In Full before you ever even needed it... isn't that just like Jesus?!"]

We got to talk to Sam one last time before he passed away. We told him we’d received the money, and that we were using it to adopt a little girl from Thailand into our family. I will never forget the emotion in his tender, frail voice as he replied, “Well, God bless you!” 

God smiled on our story again, when we were matched with a little girl from the city where Sam lived in Thailand. Out of ALL of the Children’s Homes in all the cities in Thailand - Kate grew up just a few miles from the home where Sam spent his final years.

One of our first family photos at the Pattaya Orphanage... just a few miles from Sam's old home.

When it came time to go for our adoption, it was to a place that felt like a second home to us - thanks to Sam! We knew all the best places to stay, and eat, and shop. Our very first dinner as a family was in the same hotel restaurant where we celebrated Sam’s last birthday. Being in such a familiar space made that stressful time so much easier, but also, bittersweet. We thought of Sam often, and wish so much that he could have met Kate!

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There is a Children’s Home in India today, where 25 little boys live in safety with all their needs provided for – due in large part to Sam’s generosity. Without his donation, the land could not have been purchased. Because of him, this home exists and is changing so many little lives! 

Our Girl’s Home in Thailand was able to run for 2 years because of Sam’s support. Eight sweet little girls got love and opportunities for two years, because of Sam. (And their care continues on today!)

Rusty’s sweet MeMaw (a widow at the time) was able to take care of some important needs in her final years, because of Sam’s gift. And two other elderly family members were greatly blessed by him too.

Photo of Rusty's Papaw and MeMaw - and Rusty's mom - when they were young.

And our beautiful daughter is HOME with us today – because of Sam. He helped give us our greatest gift… our precious Kate. I cannot even begin to imagine our lives without her!

I know Sam was a hero in the eyes of our nation – with his medals and honors for his service to our country. But Sam was even more of a hero to us. We’ve seen how his legacy of true selflessness has saved lives – on the battlefield and out in this broken world. He changed our family forever, and his generosity and love for others will be what we remember about him. And so, each Christmas, we will tell Kate about Sam as she hangs his star on the tree. And on memorial day, his memory is the one we carry in our hearts.

Thank you Sam. For your service, and your selflessness. We are all so grateful.

A Care Package for Kate

We had no idea that we would get the opportunity to send a care package to our daughter. I've heard of other families sending care packages to their children, but our agency never mentioned it to us. Even after matching, the only thing we were told that we could send was a "Welcome Album" of family photos (which we are still working on putting together). But a few days after we announced that we were matched, I was contacted by a fellow adoptive mom who was about to leave for Thailand.

Caitlin and I had connected before, because she volunteered 10 years ago at our daughter's orphanage (and wrote to tell me that the children there get really great care, which was a comfort!) This time she was writing to say that she and her husband were leaving for Thailand in about a week to adopt their little boy (so exciting!) and that they had a visit planned to our daughter's orphanage. She asked if I would like for her to take some gifts for our daughter - would I ever!?!

We quickly called our agency to get their okay, and their stance was to send what we wanted (keeping it small enough to fit in a shoebox) and that the orphanage staff would have the final say. Caitlin and her husband live in Oregon, so we knew we had to work quickly to get the package to them in time for their flight!

We set out to buy a few special things for our daughter. I knew almost instantly what I wanted - but it proved to be a little more challenging than I expected (on short notice). I went looking for a simple, pink cotton dress in a 3T, and it took NINE stores before I found one (I may or may not have cried in frustration in store #6 when everything cute was either a 2T or a 4T!) Luckily, after several trips all over town we finally found everything we wanted to send!

We ended up with a pink and purple ruffled dress, two packages of hairbows for her pigtails, some stickers, two small My Little Ponies, and a little Princess Belle figurine (obviously we know which princess I hope is her favorite!)

We also bought this sweet book, "Under the Same Moon" - which is about loved ones who are separated but loving each other from afar. I cried in the aisle at Khol's when I read it the first time! Rusty and I were able to take turns each reading a page at a time to her, so she'll be familiar with our voices. We also taped a photo of us onto the front and back covers, so she can see our faces each time she reads it.

My favorite addition though, was this little bunny! If you know me, then you know how much I love bunnies. (It's actually my husband's nickname for me). The very first thing we ever bought our daughter was a little handmade bunny in Thailand. So I really wanted to send her a stuffed bunny... but I also really wanted it to have a recording that would play our voices when she hugged it! I couldn't find anything ready-made that would work (Build-A-Bears were much too big) but the sweet girl at Build-A-Bear was very helpful! She sold us a voice box (and gave us a little heart too!) and shared some advice for cutting open and re-sewing a different stuffed animal.

I was lucky enough to find this sweet, soft bunny at Target, who had a music box inside. He came open easily once I found his back seam, and already had a little pocket inside for the voice box. I did a little bit of surgery on him to add the voice box, the sweet little heart from Build-A-Bear (that we covered in kisses and prayers), and some extra stuffing to make him softer.

We recorded ourselves saying "I love you" in Thai with her Thai nickname (Namfon), and "Mommy Loves You" and "Daddy Loves You" in English. Then my chiropractor had the great idea to add a few drops of lavender oil to the bunny (and all the other items we sent). We're hoping it will be soothing to our daughter, and that when we wear the same scent (the day we meet her) it might be something familiar that will help with her attachment.

All her gifts fit into this sweet little polka-dot bag. I included a note explaining everything, and telling them that the stickers and hairbows were for her to share with her friends (since her referral said she loves to share with the other children!) Then we were able to overnight it to Caitlin in Oregon (thanks to a sweet friend who covered the UPS expense! God bless you Kristin!)

Caitlin and her husband and son will be visiting the orphanage on June 6th (the night of June 5th to us here in America). Now we are hoping and praying that the staff will allow her to give our daughter our gifts, and to take photos and videos of Kate to send to us! We only have a few posed pictures, and to see some candid shots (or video of Kate) would be such a treat! We also sent a video to Caitlin of the two of us introducing ourselves to our daughter in Thai and English... telling her we love her so much, and that we can't wait to hold her in our arms. We are also praying they allow Caitlin to show the video of us to Kate! We are hopeful that these gifts will help Kate get to know our voices and faces, and be more comfortable with us when we finally meet her.

We're so grateful that Caitlin offered to do this for us. As you pray for her visit to the orphanage to go well, would you also pray a blessing over her family's adoption? Her son is just adorable, but he is still adjusting to this big transition and has just started bonding with his mommy and daddy. Last night they shared that he is sick and had to go to the doctor in Thailand to be treated for pneumonia. I know they would appreciate your prayers for healing and bonding during this time!