我没有像你那么好，事事都有家人的保护
你从来都没资格批评我没那么单纯
我不知道你在背后怎么的抹黑我

我做不了什么
我没你那么厉害
那么擅长做虚伪的话语

我很想做些什么，但我做不到
因为我没像你那样的心眼

stuck...suck

my fault
my mistake

i am too easy influenced by other
but i can make my stand
but i din't stand firm for my stand

u make me feel guilty whatever of my mistake
whenever i din follow the rules, i feel guilty
but still, i challenge it

i can't blame others, because it is my mistake

but feel like sourish in my heart
u were good to me
i know u are just wanna to make ur job
still
feel sourish

how much u know about what i did more than others, but others no?
i always concern with my performance
i don care if i work more than people
some people lazy, come late, i do things for them too, u know?

when i do educational job, i come early but go back late to help others.
but when other ppl do educational job, they come late, din help each other, no team work, do u know?
then do u know why i always late to start my job?
i m always the earliest one, i open up all the boothe of others causing me to be the slowest to start my trial sampling.

finally i KNow

finally i know
the ugly truth
wat makes u always take so long in bathroom

miss, plz

my mummy always taught me not to use bathroom too long
others might want to use
don try to sit the toilet when u bath
it take very long time

if u want to poo, plz ask consent frm others
if not, don use too long especially u live with group of ppl

u always use for an hour
cause me late for class
no chance to have morning bath><

plz plz
u r living with group
next time use toilet don take more than 20 mins

what happen to me? am i an unsecure person?
extremely in work...extremely in lazy...extremely in dependent and extremely independent...

what happen to us?..........................
i cant sense it anymore...

sigh...
is time to wake up...carry on my usual lifestyle...is time to serious on study...
leave some space between us...hope it will be better

再次的苏醒

这几天做任何事都魂不守舍的，看来我又要再回到过去的我，再次要败北吗？
在托儿所教书时，上课时，做推销时。。。样样都打不起精神，成天都觉得累，头疼。。。只想把功课丢一旁，家里的事只想置身之外。。。
老毛病又犯了，只想逃避，被动，悲观，心烦意乱的我又再出现了？

回想，到底我信心的原点是为了什么？
不过是为了自身的幸福和一家和乐的决意。

自从上次回家后我的题目与勤行也都越来越少。。。从每日的一小时到三十分钟，再慢慢变到零。。。遇到问题，我的信心再次被动摇，惰性再次苏醒！！！

最近我开始喜欢一个人了。。。我开始想自己现在对justin的感觉是什么了。。。他说他会很高兴如果我找到比他好的。。。我问他那对我的感觉呢，结果换来的是一片污辱！对于此事，我以为我会很生气或是很伤心，结果还好。。。但却又有点被他所说的动摇，不如就如他说的最坏打算呢？至少会在一起。另一方面又想，那是我这么久以来的所要的修行结果吗？会有幸福吗？这只会让我再次坠入宿命的恶路吧！

刚才一个朋友找我谈生意。。。她最后说的那几句话，让我想起justin以前对我所说的话。。。我当时很喜欢他因为他思想非凡，但却有着一颗真挚的心。虽他当时是个有点名闻名利的家伙，不过程度还好。。。有些事发生，改变了。他被名闻名利冲昏了头，只想用捷径赚他那第一桶金。

他说现在的我只会让他烦感，讨厌。我一直以为我们能一起努力。。。但我们的理念不同了。。。他舍弃了自己，舍弃了自身幸福，舍弃了家人；只为了那名利。。。就像一般现代人，舍弃人本主义。我想。。。因为理念不同了，看见只会产生愧疚，接着来的是厌恶，唾弃。

如佛法所说，贪憎痴是凡人都会犯的，要如何修行达至佛界呢？唯有通过信，行，学。不断的经历磨练。

过去的我都一直犯着。。。奢望着不再属于我的人。。。他不会再是能和我创造幸福的另一伴。

年轻人，回到信心的原点吧！好好向gohonzon祈求，一切宿命都转重轻受，同时为这他人的幸福实践广宣流布。祈求着gohonzon的安排，天时，地利，人和的善缘。创造凯旋归来的广宣流布。

it's time.

maybe it is time to let go of my feeling to you.
i use my heart and sincere to treat u as my dear...
in the end, being insulted by your heartless.
i guess he is the only 'friend' you have, because you are just the same as him...as worse as him...as infuriating as him...sick...bullshit!!!!
you are not worth for.even as what you said!

bastard

bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
finally i know you r that kind of person! my doubt is proven.
u r just like the kind of person like any of my friend think!
i won't get into ur trick any more