A New Thing...

I have not blogged in a while. My life has been in hyper-speed and in different areas I have been distracted. That has not always been a good thing. I have not chosen my words carefully. I have had to humbly come before God and repent. I have had to be solid on what I believe, which means I had to ask God to show me what to believe. That has been the good part. Growing up in church has its negatives and pluses. It is easy for me to accept a teaching because that has been what I have always been 'taught.' It has not been easy to come face-to-face with teachings and ask God what is truth and what is tradition. But!!!! God always listens. My heart humbly has been asking for His Spirit to illuminate the Scriptures so that they can do the work they need to do in my life. I am glad I am still a work in progress:).

 Anyway, this gathering of women has been on my radar for a while, now. This post is from someone who got to go to the gathering...

You see, there were walls between us women. All of us were evangelical, and we all loved Jesus, but we all came from different “tribes” within evangelicalism. There were barriers between us–some spoken, some unspoken; some big, some small–and we knew where everyone stood. That tribe mentality is so entrenched in the church right now.

As a writer, I am confronted with it a lot. It’s really frustrating, it’s really sad, and you know what else? It’s a ridiculous WASTE.

I can just hear the Enemy cackling with glee as he watches us squander precious time debating the finer points of theology, or judging one another’s parenting, or slandering a person we disagree with, all in the name of Jesus. He delights to watch us draw long, deep lines in the sand between one another, dividing the church, labeling one another, fracturing Christ’s Bride, instead of looking out there, out at the world where people are perishing, where people need the gospel, where people need Jesus.          --She Worships

I am tired of being distracted.

I am tired of being torn.

I want to cling to Jesus and have my eyes only on Him. To give Him the glory He so richly deserves.

 I am ready for a new thing:). 

 "Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19 

This weekend

This weekend was my 25th High School Reunion. I can't believe it has been 25 years! One of my friends I haven't seen in ten years said I still act like I did when I was 18. That started a conversation of how no matter how old we get, we still think and act like we are 18 :).Just being with all those old high school friends just made me giggly like an 18 year. It was so much fun!

It took a village to get me ready for the reunion. For the past two weeks 6 of my friends have been messaging and texting me with outfits, shoes, jewelry suggestions, etc. It has been a hoot! It is bittersweet to see it come to an end, but there is always the next reunion:)!

Sesame Street Birthday

Can you believe how fast summer has flown? Today is the last day my children will get to sleep late as we begin to slowly start homeschooling next week.

I wanted to catch-up and post pictures of Samantha's second party. Samantha is my first child that has loved Sesame Street. My other children each had their favorite videos, but none of them really enjoyed Sesame Street. Anyway, we decided to do her party in a Sesame Street theme:).

All ready for her party:)!

Our sweet Malaysian host daughter brought her things to 'bling-out' !

She did not want to blow out her candles!

With her older cousin, Dale's god-daughter, and her older sister.

It was a good day, but I can't believe she is already two!

This is what my eighteen-year-old and I are working on this summer:

 I loved that it has questions for discussion at the end. Hard, digging questions...

One of the things that we discussed was friendships and a specific situation that has made her a little down. Ahhh...it is easy to put on my mommy cap and fill her with all this 'wisdom,' but I wanted this to be a time of growth and reflection for the both of us.

So instead of giving  out "Christianese" answers, I listened. Then I shared about how God has worked in my life in that area. It was such a good discussion...one that made me reflect a little more when I got home...

After Rebekah went to Heaven, it took me a while to go back to church. My heart was so tender.

Finally, I returned. After church someone came up to me and asked me how was I doing. I told them, "not too great at that moment." Then this sweet soul who  thought he was meaning well, spent the next fifteen minutes 'preaching' to me.  I should learn to let go and worry about my own life here on Earth. Rebekah was in Heaven, I shouldn't be dwelling on the negatives.

I was crushed.

He then asked if he was saying something that he shouldn't.

"Yes," I replied. "Please stop. I know all that, but my mommy heart still hurts."

 But he didn't. He was on a roll.

Dale got in the van and I just let the tears and words flow. I was angry. Angry at that person. Angry that my husband didn't notice and come to my rescue. Angry that I finally got enough courage to come to church and this was what I faced on the first day back.

Angry days passed and God seemed to directing my heart toward the idea of grace. Gently, He reminded me how much I was learning about His all-sufficient His grace...Grace I didn't deserve, not even a drop of it.

I should show that same grace to that man.

What? Didn't God know how much he hurt me? Didn't He know I told him to stop and he didn't?

Yes, yes, God knew.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the

heavenly places. 

 Ephesians 6:12

This man was not my enemy. Satan is my real enemy.

When I grasped that I understood that this well-meaning man was on the same side as me against our true enemy, satan. And only by allowing God to work through me in this situation was I able to offer grace to that man. Which, in turn, allowed me to genuinely extend love to him. That is only through Jesus living in me.

I would like to say that was the only time I had to extend grace concerning Rebekah. But people seem to say the most silly, un-filtered, where-did-that-come-from?, things to me months after that. And I have to believe that God used those people and situations to help me grow in grace and learn to extend grace as a default when I would rather do otherwise.

And this afternoon, God used that growth to minister to my daughter. To share with her about how God's economy is so different than that of the world's. World says get even, lash out, you have the right to give them a taste of their own medicine. You are right. They are wrong.

God's economy says love your enemies, love those that persecute you, extend grace to those that don't deserve it. Forgive.
Hard stuff, if it wasn't for Christ living in us.

I am grateful that God is still working on me. Humbled that He is allowing these precious moments with my oldest to walk through and navigate life together.