Karma

I think I am a decent person. Sure I occasionally lie and I took some pens from my last job, but who hasn’t done that? And maybe I drink too much and perhaps I’ve been smoking lately but my destructive behaviors really only affect me. I’m sure everyone thinks of themselves as a good person. Even Jeffrey Dahmer probably thought he was somehow doing a good thing by hacking people up and keeping them in his refrigerator. But I put spiders outside instead of killing them. And even though I have been looking for a job all year, when I interviewed for a position that was right up my roommate’s alley, I told them she would be a better fit, which resulted in her getting the job. I volunteer. I try not to be mean, I hang out with people I don’t even really like sometimes because they seem lonely. When I have disposable income I donate money to charity. I hold doors open and I try to be polite.

So why is karma being such a bitch to me this year? Seriously.

It’s been almost a year since I got laid off. I am trying to stay optimistic because I know it could be a lot worse but right now I am substitute teaching for the fall. That is fun. And by fun I mean horrible. Money wise, things are getting semi-scary and subbing really doesn’t pay very well. But at least it’s marginally better than unemployment. And my roommate, the one that landed the job I told her about, just informed me that she is moving about because she ‘needs a cat right now.’ I was hoping to persuade her to stay until January because it’s a lot easier to find a roommate that time of year but she can’t wait 10 extra weeks for a cat. Because God knows, cats are hard to come by.

And to top it all off, the guy I have been dating and totally falling for during the last six months just told me that he is moving to Kansas City. In a month. I haven’t liked a guy this much in literally years. And after a minor freak out on my part right at the beginning, which I blame on the fact that I haven’t been so into someone for so damn long and it sort of scared the crap out of me, things have been going about as close to perfect as I’ve ever gotten in a relationship. Ever. But he got a really great job offer in fucking Missouri and apparently it’s too good to pass up.

I must have been a huge asshole in my past life.

Crap.

After trying and mostly failing to adjust to a significantly smaller budget this year, I was excited when I woke up this morning knowing my first paycheck since April 26 was waiting for me in my bank account. Then I remembered that I’ve been living off savings, which is down to $287 and that I managed to add an entire zero to my credit card statement in the last three months. I think the rest of the day will be mostly about binge eating and beer. At least I am getting better about whoring myself out for drinks.

Dirty Sanchez

I will deny this if it is ever brought up in front of my parents or any of my family/friends in Wisconsin, but I was kind of hoping for a Bears/Jets Super Bowl. Of course, Sanchez sucks and that was never going to happen, but nothing makes me more homesick than trying to watch a Packers game in Juneau. I feel like I have a lot of friends here, but I would say I only have a handful of really close friends. I am completely fine with that. I would much rather have a few really close friends than a ton of not so close ones. But I have watched every single NFL game this year with two people. One is a Steelers fan and one is a Bears fan. Since no matter what, either the Bears or Packers were going to be in the Super Bowl, I thought that if the Bears won and the Steelers lost, we could all still watch the game together. I guess the Packers/Jets would have worked too, but then they both would have been blase about the whole thing and that would have taken some of the fun out of it too.

Anyway, two weeks ago I knew I couldn't watch the Packers/Bears game with my friend and not get upset at some point. I also knew that he would much rather watch the game with the Steelers fan. I am not blind or mentally handicapped. I know I can't hold my own in a football conversation with two very smart guys who know what they are talking about and have more than 20 years of football knowledge on me. But that doesn't mean that I enjoy watching games alone.

Every year that I've been in Juneau I've watched the Super Bowl at the Steelers fan's house but I get it. I know I can't watch the game with a him this year. But it still pisses me off sometimes that I can't hold my own with the guys. And even though the Bears fan has said he won't root for the Steelers, I know it will suck for him to watch the game with me at some crappy bar instead of going over to the Steelers fan's house. Not only will there be better food over there, they will both be able to discuss the finer points of the game. I wouldn't ask him to do that, even if I was hoping I wouldn't have to.

But it's winter (which everyone already knows I hate) and now I don't get to hang out with either one of them for the game. I already see less of them in the winter because I am not a great skier. And since it's my party, I'll cry if I want to. Seriously, it was supposed to be my party. I mean, it's my birthday and the Packers are in the Super Bowl, I should be super happy.

Last Chance

It's down to the waiting game for the last potential job that could save me from my current uninsured, under-paid fate. I am not holding my breath. I am very sick of rejection at this point. And every time I get that 'sorry-but-we-hired-someone-else' call, I ask if there is anything I could do to improve my interview or my resume. I have never once gotten any helpful feedback from asking, so I don't know why I even bother any more. I keep hearing about how great my interview was and how enthusiastic I am - some have gone as far as actually telling me I was the second choice. They always encourage me to "keep plugging away" because eventually someone will "be lucky to get you". I understand that they just want to get the phone call over with and no one wants to be the bearer of bad news, and even though I am sure it would sting, just once I would like to hear the real reason I wasn't hired. Am I too old? Young? Too fat? White? Sure, some of those reasons would be illegal so I know I will never hear them, but hell, even if it was something like my breath smells - at least I would have something to work on.

Next week is going to suck. I am training for a new job that I am not excited about, and I still have to clean up some stuff at my old job. And now that all my disposable income is gone, I can't go out to eat or drink to try to take my mind off of how miserable my life has become. So, four readers, keep your fingers crossed for me. The odds of me getting this last job are slim to none, but I guess nothing is impossible, right?

Piss Off

It seems like everyone has been having a crappy fall, but I have to admit I am sick of hearing about other peoples problems. Don't get me wrong, I care about my friends and I want them to be happy but I've got my own shit to deal with right now and I am sick of taking care of other people. Why does your break-up or your shitty day at work or your homework or your flat tire or even your birthday denial always require something from me? And how do you not help someone without looking like a total asshole? I want to tell everyone to piss off, but I still care enough to know that I don't want all my friends mad at me.

But I feel like I am getting close to my breaking point. I went out on Saturday night and was nice as pie to random strangers and those friends you have that you only see every once in awhile. The people that never call you if they are in trouble. The ones you don't expect anything from. But I was definitely bordering on bitch with my close friends. I don't want to be that person. I feel like things aren't really that bad for me, but I can't shake this funk I'm in. And I hate that. Normally I overreact initally but then get over things pretty fast. Not having a game plan is messing that all up.

I had a gift certificate for a local hotel this weekend and last night I just sat in the hotel room to be alone. I didn't watch tv or read. I literally just sat there looking out the window being alone. And I didn't think about anything or anyone. And it was fantastic.

Well, that's just great.

So, instead of rallying it up in DC all weekend, I caught a cold and got a $457 doctor bill, which is what I get for going to the doctor at all. It's been so long since I went to the doctor even for routine preventive stuff that I completely forgot you have to pay for everything until you hit your deductible. If I had remembered that, I probably wouldn't have opted for so many of the stupid blood panels.

Anyway, at least I stopped drinking so much. This week I am going to start hitting the classifieds big time. I am trying to decide how desperate I am at this point. I don't think I'm bank teller desperate just yet, but I also don't know how long that is going to last. I have been trying not to think about my work situation much, but when I do stop to think about it I can't help but feel angry. I hate being mad about things and I hate holding grudges but I am not sure how to get over something like this. Probably the same way I get over men. I won't be completely over it until I have moved on to another job. I seriously hope that a new job shows up soon...

Pink Slip

So, when I said that I put in my notice at work, I was exaggerating a bit. My boss was on vacation, so I didn't officially give written notice. On Monday morning, with my boss back we had a "quick" meeting at 9am, which I thought was going to be about a few of our upcoming projects. Instead, I got laid off. I didn't realize how much of a difference there would be between choosing to leave on your own terms in your own time and being told you are done. They handled the whole situation really poorly too.

On the plus side, since I am not quitting, I get unemployment. The down side of that is that unemployment benefits suck and will not cover my monthly expenses even after I have cancelled my gym membership, my farm share, my Internet connection and my Netflix account. I'll still be short $96/month and that is assuming I never spend money on any form of entertainment. Thank God I don't have a kid to support.

I wasn't planning on starting off my week by becoming a statistic.

Thoughts of the day

Not at all surprising of the day: Alaska gives every person that lives here oil money each year. This year they sent out just under $1,300. I decided to pay off my car with the money. So on Monday, I was driving behind a douchey SUV when they kicked up a rock that cracked my windshield. When I took it in to get fixed, I was told it was ‘gnarly’ and unfixable. Great. Then, at the gas station another douchey monster truck decided to test his turning radius by ‘bumping’ into my car while I was at the pump. And by ‘bumping’, I mean he rammed into the back hard enough to dent it while leaving his vehicle without a scratch. Then he told me it was my fault for buying foreign. My corolla probably has more parts made in the US than his stupid Dodge Ram, but whatever. That’s pretty much what I get for paying off my car early.

Rally of the day: Only a week until I’m DC bound and I can.not.wait!!! I think Obama is going to be there. I still don’t have a sign idea. Too bad nobody reads this blog anymore to help me out...

Advice of the day: Don’t bring up someone else’s weight loss. Seriously, it’s none of your business. Would you go up to someone and tell them they look like they’ve gained weight? No. I’m sure you think it’s a compliment, but not everyone is going to take it that way. “Wow! You look fantastic, how much weight have you lost?!” Seriously? Fuck you. Now, not only do I feel like I looked like shit before but I also feel like I was as big as a house. I haven’t even lost enough weight to warrant a new pair of pants and you are making such a big ass deal out of 15 pounds that you’d think I just won the Biggest Loser. Shut up.

Oh yeah of the day: My roommate is gone for a few months and she was either going to move out or she needed to get someone to sublet. I didn’t want to lose her as a roommate so for the next four weeks I am living with a guy who is in town from Anchorage. I forgot how much easier it is to live with a boy. It has been a long time since I lived with a guy and I don’t mean to stereotype because I am sure there are exceptions, but it seems like they are in general more chill than females. I have absolutely nothing against my roommate - I’m looking forward to having her come back. But this guy is pretty awesome.

Hello, October. Now please go away.

“...WIND ADVISORY IN EFFECT UNTIL 10 PM AKDT THIS EVENING...
TODAY...RAIN. VERY WINDY. HIGHS AROUND 51. SOUTHEAST WIND
20 TO 30 MPH WITH GUSTS UP TO 55 MPH.”

Let’s see, rain? Yes. Power outage? Check. Wind? Small craft advisory? You got it. Yep, it’s officially fall. In Wisconsin, you get crisp, clear nights and crunchy leaves to walk through and apple picking. In Juneau, you get cold and wet. Why did I think it would be a good idea to wait until next spring to get out of here again?

F*&$ing Rant of the Day

Admittedly, I am in a bad mood. I was woken up at 3am and then again at 5am by the ancient pugs I am dog sitting, and yet I still had a fresh pile of shit to deal with when my alarm finally went off. I’ve been going home every day at lunch time to let them out and there has been an accident every.single.time. My life for the next two weeks is going to consist of cleaning up dog pee and smelling like dog pee. I have pretty much accepted this fate. I mean, they are old. They can’t help it. I just have to keep reminding myself that I need new brakes. Plus, I mean, I am doing it already – it’s not like I can back out at this point.

BUT, everyone in Juneau is acting like an asshole today. I HATE driving downtown during the summer. Tourists are the dumbest pieces of shit sometimes. Note to my three readers: if you are ever on vacation try to keep in mind that people actually live there. No matter how beautiful the place may be, unless you are actually in Disneyland, it is not fucking Disney! Sidewalks are there for a reason, the street is not just a really wide wheelchair accessible walkway for you to mosey along at your own pace. Yes, some people may even drive there!

And there must be something in the water today because Juneau drivers were out in spades to compete for the title of biggest douche. I already know that most people born and raised in Juneau can’t drive worth shit. (My theory is that people who live in rural areas never learn how to drive.) Downtown Juneau is teeming with one way streets, no left turn intersections and dead ends. Today, everywhere I went some asshole was going the wrong way down a one way, illegally parked blocking the entire fucking street or blowing through a stop sign like the extra three seconds you gain from that might actually matter. It’s Juneau, for fucks sake. There are 40 miles of road total and virtually nothing out passed mile 20. What’s the damn rush?

Tonight all I have to look forward to is going back to a dirty-ass housesit and cleaning up dog poop, which means I am going to stay in this bad mood for the foreseeable future. (Seriously, I am messy, but there is a big difference between messy and dirty and if I’d rather shower at the gym than at your house, it’s dirty, not messy. Also, who leaves a house sitter dirty dishes, a full trash can and piles of junk all over every available surface? I had to wash a plate for dinner. There are even stacks of stuff on the stove top. I had to move them to turn on the burner. And it wasn’t a potholder or something, it was Ziploc baggies and a phone book. Really?) Maybe tonight I’ll get more than 5 hours of sleep at least…

I Heart Pugs

When I first got to Juneau, I was an AmeriCorps volunteer, which means I was always broke. Like, way more broke than I am now. Although, food stamps almost made it worth it. Anyway, being an AmeriCorps member also meant that six of us lived in a 3-bedroom house to keep rent costs down. My ‘bedroom’ was a closet. A large one, but a closet nonetheless. My mother greatly enjoyed telling people all year that I was ‘in the closet’. She’s a funny lady. The year I was doing AmeriCorps, I was willing to housesit for anyone and everyone. The chance to have an entire apartment /house all to myself was not something I took for granted. I house sat for a family with chickens, I took care of dogs and cats and some parrots (or parakeets or something). There was pretty much nothing I would turn down.

But now I have an apartment that I really like in my favorite part of town. House sitting has lost all of its appeal. Unfortunately, I still never have much money, so when I was offered $300 to watch two old pugs for 13 days, I didn’t say no. Hell, this dog sit is going to cover the cost of my new rotors. Well, it’s going to cover part of the cost anyway. Man, I love being a grown up!

WTF?!

This was the ad I had to deal with when I went to read the paper online this morning:

Sorry, but if you're a Jew, you're not really 'for' Jesus. The entire concept of Jews for Jesus really irks me. For example, take this little ditty directly off their website:

"Jewish people around the world have celebrated Passover for thousands of years; however, most do not understand the ultimate significance of the festival."

Oh really, J4J? I'm sure that an evangelical organization really grasps the significance of Passover much more complexly than most Jews. I mean, Jews are just so relieved that they don't have to be slaves anymore that it's too hard to think about anything else.

I bet Jesus just about pukes when he sees all the blatant bullshit associated with him name. He's too holy to actually smite these sanctimonious antisemites down, but I bet he's sure thinking about it. Way to give all Christians a bad name, assholes!

Shipping to Alaska

WTF? This is why it takes so damn long to get anything in the mail here:

March 16, 2009 at 9:42 PM
Arrival Scan in HEBRON, KY

March 17, 2009 at 7:29 PM
Arrival Scan in CINCINNATI,OH

March 18, 2009 at 3:38 AM
Arrival Scan in CINCINNATI, OH

March 20, 2009 at 12:50 PM
Arrival Scan in FEDERAL WAY, WA

March 20, 2009 at 10:35 PM
Arrival Scan in KENT, WA

March 21, 2009 at 8:11 PM
Arrival Scan in DENVER, CO

So, apparently my package decided to go out on the town in Cincinnati. I can't blame it. I mean, I went out for St. Paddy's Day too.

But I don't understand why you decided to detour back to Colorado after spending the day in Washington. I realize Denver is hella awesome, but you were so close. Why did you have to start traveling backwards?! And now it's the 23rd and you could be all that way back to Boston by now. Whatever I did to make you mad, I'm sorry. Please come back. Please?

I.am.dumb.

Last night I was coerced into going down to a bar and playing trivia. Nothing makes me feel like more of a dumbass than playing trivia, except maybe reading M5K’s blog. I am full of useless knowledge about pop culture but even in trivia games knowing that Crystal Pepsi came out in 1992 is completely useless. Our categories last night were State Mottos, Guns N’Roses, The Bailout, Television, and Inventors. I thought I’d be able to hold my own in the Guns N’Roses and television questions, and I hoped I would know at least one or two answers about the bailout since I do try to read the news every day. Wrong! I’m sure most of my readers know that Guns N’Roses was formed by members from Hollywood Rose and L.A. Guns, but not this girl. I got the L.A. Guns, but Hollywood Rose? What the hell is that? I’m also sure most of you know which Guns N’Roses song starts with a Cool Hand Luke quote, but I sure as hell didn’t. I mixed up AIG with Lehman Brothers. I got the ALASKA state motto wrong. And who knew that punk ass Ohio is trying to steal North Carolina’s aviation thunder? They claim to be ‘the birthplace of aviation’. WTF? The moral of this story: I should never be asked to play on a trivia team again. Sure, I am super fun to hang out with and I’ll make the evening more entertaining, but with $50 at stake, I am not going to lead any team to victory.

Welcome to 2009, loser!

I’ve been trying not to let the winter blues get me down, but I am failing. I am surrounded by people who are so in love with winter that I am sure they would marry it if they could. Their annoying declarations about how wonderful winter is are worse than all the damn snow and the single digit temperatures. I swear to God, the next person that starts talking about how great snow is will get punched in the face.

In other news, my NYE sucked donkey balls. I rented a few movies (Wanted with Angelina Jolie and the most recent Harry Potter movie) and didn’t even drink. Apparently I don’t know how to have fun without liquor. Anyway, as I was sitting there, I realized that I should be working in Hollywood. I know I can’t act, but I started off at film school and I think I would be a good producer. I am a planner to an almost pathological degree. This is not to say that I am a neat person. I get very defensive about this. I am messy, but I know where everything is and I know what needs to get done. I think that would be a good quality when it comes to getting shit done on a set where there aren’t any file cabinets or databases easily accessible.

Anyway, the only reason I switched over to a state school and ended up majoring in journalism is because I am a chicken. I didn’t want to have even bigger student loans and I didn’t want to wait tables for the rest of my life, which I knew would be a very real possibility trying to make it in the entertainment industry. I’ve known for the last 6 years that I don’t want to work in an office for the rest of my life. But for some reason, I’ve spent the last few years assuming that if I want to get a job that doesn’t involve sitting in front of a computer all day, I’d have to go back to school for some sort of science degree. I seriously looked into several forestry options. I don’t know why I didn’t think of anything else – certainly not going back into the arts. Probably because I gave up on that career choice a long time ago.

Well, not anymore! I turn 30 in a few months and I think its bullshit that I have spent my whole life going for jobs that I am not passionate about. It’s not a great feeling knowing that you’ve spent your whole life doing stuff because you were afraid to fail at what you really wanted to do.

Seeing as I am not a stupid 19-year old anymore, I am going to be logical about this. I know that I change my mind about everything every other week, so it’s not like I am going to pack up my car and head down to L.A. But I am going to take advantage of the fact that I work at a television station and learn everything I can about set design and camera operations and stuff. And I am hopefully going to chip away at some of the debt I have accrued over the last decade. And if a few years, when I no longer have an aging dog to take care of, and I don’t have to plan everything decision I make around my credit card balance, perhaps I’ll be ready to take that leap. Plus, I’ll have a few years experience in the media field, even if public television is about as far away from Hollywood as you can get.

Five dollars, my ass

I was walking past Subway the other day when I noticed a gigantic sign in the window that said: “$6 Footlongs!!” Wait, what? The stupid $5 footlong jingle has been stuck in my head for the last 27-years, how can it be six stupid dollars?! Oh, that’s right. I live in Alaska now. We get screwed on pretty much every deal you see advertised on tv, and yet I still have to watch the dumb commercials whenever Ugly Betty is on because Pizza Hut/Blockbuster/Target/TGIFridays commercials are national. I hate seeing Olive Garden or Toxic Hell (Taco Bell, duh) commercials at midnight when I know I am going to wake up with a hangover and pretty much anything looks delicious. We have one Subway and two McDonald’s and that is the extent of our chain restaurants. There is no Kmart, no Walgreens, no Burger King.

The lack of crappy fast food and stores loaded with products made in Taiwan is part of what I love about Alaska, but when we get screwed on shipping even though postage costs the same whether you mail it to Alabama or Alaska and we get screwed on subs and when I can’t make a run for the border at 2am, that’s when living here can kinda sucks.

Merry Friggin' Xmas

Holy crap! How did December sneak up on me so fast? I mean, I just moved up here – how can it be the end of the year already?! This Christmas will be the third time in my life that I have not celebrated with my family. Alaska Airlines enjoys a monopoly in Southeast Alaska and they pretty much double prices during the holidays. A flight to Chicago is not worth $1170 and I don’t have the frequent flier miles to cover a free flight this year. Well, I have the miles, but I am saving them for a bigger trip. I didn’t think it was going to be a big deal to stay in Juneau since most of my friends are usually here for the holidays but this year, with the exception of two or three people, it seems like just about everyone is going home. Assholes. At least I don’t have to deal with any airports in December.

I could have solved global warming but I got Netflix instead.

Dear Netflix,

Why do you discriminate? Surely, not all of your subscribers own PC’s. Actually, I am 100% sure that quite a few of your members are Mac owners or you wouldn’t be launching some 'great' Mac player soon. (And by 'great' I am sure that you mean my movie will freeze every 5 seconds.) I find it highly unfair that your PC subscribers can watch instant movies right now however, while you dick around with your beta testing even though there are supposedly no glitches in it. I think that I should be getting a discount every month until the Mac player is fully functional for all users, not just your stupid beta testers. Because paying for a bullshit service that I can’t use is utterly ridiculous. Know what else is bullshit? The fact that you don’t have a ‘contact us’ email option. Sure, I can email you about improperly labeled movies and I can contact you about advertising with your stupid company, but I can’t email you about your shitty customer service. And you know what else? I’m thinking that maybe Blockbuster handles things better. Now, I hate Blockbuster on principal, but I also hate feeling like I am getting crappy service.

Yes, I know this is whiny and there are about a million other horrible things going on in the world at this exact moment that I should be complaining about, but have you ever realized how exhausting it is to complain about things that really matter? I am so sick of not being able to make more of a difference in the world. How did I wind up almost 30 working in an office all day long? I don’t teach people anything, I don’t heal people, I’m no longer doing anything to help the environment. How did this happen? My whole life I heard, ‘You’re not living up to your potential.’ And gosh darnit, they were right because I certainly didn’t picture myself growing up to become a ‘marketer’. I mean, is that even a word? 

I should have been a scientist or an engineer or something. I wanted to be a marine biologist. My math teacher father enjoys reminding me how I graduated from middle school with like, the highest math grade in the school. 98.6% or some crap - I beat out Paul Getto by .5% or something like that. I try to forget that story because I am sure Paul Getto is curing cancer or winning the Nobel Prize now and I can barely remember how to add fractions. In fact, I am fairly certain that I would get most fractions wrong these days. I decided at some point hanging out with the ‘cool’ kids and experimenting with pot and skipping school would be a much better use of my time. Obviously, I wasn't that smart.

So you see, Netflix, not only does your customer service suck, it also reminds me how I have wasted my entire life and have not lived up to my potential. Now I am never going to discover penicillin or invent a microscope. And yes, I realize both of those things already exisit, but you have no idea what I could have done with my life. I have settled with bitching and moaning about instant movies and living my life in front of a computer instead of bothering to care about all that other stuff. I hope you are happy.

Sincerely, KaDonkaDonk

Big Sigh...

Most people that live in Alaska enjoy winter. Most people that choose to move to Alaska are into skiing, snowboarding, hockey, snowshoeing, or some other cold weather activity. Most people see the snow starting to slowly climb down the mountains and start getting excited about steaming mugs of cocoa and the Northern Lights and all the tourists leaving.

I have never been like most people…

I hate to admit that I am not a huge fan of winter. I never learned how to ski and the last time I lived here I devoted all my time to snowboarding. And what a crap ton of wasted time that was! I hated every single, solitary minute of snowboarding and I vowed never to get on another snowboard as long as I live. I am going to try skiing this winter, but having a dozen 6-year-olds zipping by my fat ass on the bunny hill is something that I know I am not going to relish.

I joined the beginning women’s hockey league last time I lived here, but I realized that I really need to learn how to skate before I do that again. Plus, trying to get motivated to go play hockey at 10pm on a Tuesday is hard. The hockey leagues here get some pretty crappy ice times.

It’s going to take me a year or two to get used to Alaska winters again. This is the time of year I absolutely loved in DC. All the leaves bursting with color and that crisp, clean smell in the air. I drove up to Shenandoah both autumns I was in DC and it is a gorgeous time to visit. In contrast, the fifty deciduous trees in Juneau all turn yellow and then fade to brown. I think I have seen two trees that actually turned red or orange. Everything is wet, it starts to get dark earlier and earlier, and winter looms on the horizon – literally. The snow creeping down the mountains is a constant reminder that we aren’t going to see daylight for the next few months. Winter is not why I moved back to Juneau.

Working for the man

I’m supposed to be whipping out a grant right now but for whatever reason I have been procrastinating more than usual. I think it’s because once I finish I have to go back to trying to sell a product I don’t fully understand yet. That’s always fun. I hate sales. I am not good at it and with the economy in the shitter; constantly knowing that I am not meeting my goals yet makes me very nervous. Moving ate up all my ‘emergency’ money so that three month cushion I had in DC (which was more like a two month cushion) is not only gone, I have put some things on the dreaded credit card over the past few months. I’m not saying I am going to get fired next week, but it’s definitely a possibility in a year or so if I don’t start making some moolah. Anybody want to invest in Alaska Public Broadcasting?