The Gift of AJ

I didn't give you the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of you.

Being the parents of AJ is one of the greatest gifts we have ever been given.  It is an honor to have him as our son.  Adoption is a beautiful and wonderful gift. Countries and agencies may put a price on adoption, but a child is priceless. AJ is priceless, and he is of great value to us. He is our son.

One year ago today, we brought AJ home. Home. He now understands what a home is. Home is where your family is. Home is where you are always loved.  And oh how Ryan, Brody, and I love him so very much!

I think of his birth mother often. She gave this world the gift of AJ. She chose to give him life, and then she made the best plan she could for him to have a life. I am grateful for her. On the day we left the orphanage, the director presented me with this poem.

“Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.
Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.”
-Julie Anderson

I will never be able to say thank you to her for giving the world our handsome and full of life son, but not being able to tell her "thank you" does not make her gift any less special. Maybe it makes it even more special. One day when AJ is older, I will tell him of her story. I will tell him their story. I will give him a gift she left for him and only him. Maybe he'll share the story and gift with the world one day or maybe he'll keep it to himself. But it is his to tell or keep. Our darling will know he is loved, and he is a wonderful gift. 

Still Welcome Home AJ

For 11 months this Welcome Home AJ balloon has been on our ceiling. Who knew a balloon could even stay inflated this long?

It's actually kind of a good and humorous representation of our life. Life still doesn't feel normal. It's a constant effort of finding what works best for everyone in the family. There is a small routine to our life, but it's not the routine I'm used to having. We seem to be floating around in search of normalcy. This is not a bad thing. It's just surprising. Surprising like there's still a balloon on the ceiling. If someone had asked me what I thought our family would look like after AJ was home for a year, I would have said we'll find our groove in a year's time. Who knew what time would be like for our family? Time is a funny thing. This time period has gone by incredibly fast. Seriously, it's like I've blinked and we're now a couple of weeks away from the one year mark. The welcome home balloon is quite fitting because it still feels like we just got home with AJ. I'm incredibly thankful for this year. I only wish this year felt longer. 

Anyone else ever have one of those years that seem to pass by too quickly?

It May Be Friday, But Sunday Is Coming!

I just really feel the need, the urgency, to tell you "It may be Friday, but Sunday is coming!"

The hardest day of Easter week is Friday.  It's the darkest day.  It's the day Jesus died on the cross.  It's the moment He paid the ultimate sacrifice for us.  It's the day where all hope seems lost except we know Sunday is coming.  Sunday, oh sweet Sunday, Jesus lets the world know no grave can keep Him. He is risen, and He gives hope to man.

On many sad, hard days of waiting in this adoption.  I found myself saying, "Sunday is coming."  It's that hope that got me through difficult times.  I knew the dark days of waiting would pass.  God's timing is incredibly perfect!  My jaw has dropped several times due to amazement in the past few weeks as we learned the details, the timing, of Anirudha's life.  Perfect timing that I could not see at the time allowed us to be the ones to adopt him.  There were things that had to happen so he could be ours.  AJ is a true miracle story that celebrates Sunday is coming.  Sunday, the day that made it possible for God, our Heavenly Father, to adopt us as His own.

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”  Romans 8:15

to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. Galatians 4:5

He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,  Ephesians 1:5

If you are going through a difficult time, please know Friday has to happen.  Friday requires brokenness.  Friday requires holiness.  Friday requires sacrifice.  Friday requires faith.  And when Friday is finally over, Sunday will come.  Dear Friends, Sunday's a coming!  It is.  Remain faithful and thankful until it gets here.

Have courage to be like one of the criminals on the cross beside Jesus who cried out, "Jesus, remember me."  

Luke 23:39-43

39 One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!” 40 But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? 41 And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.” 42 And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” 43 And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

In the midst of waiting in a four year Friday, I have prayed for God to remember us many times.  And He did indeed remember us! 

The song "Always" has been very special and encouraging to me.  The chorus is
Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true

My God will come through always, always

It may be Friday, but Sunday is coming!  Always.

We got him!!!

Today we got Anirudha James Brice!

Our little prince was delighted to strut around in his new clothes.  Of course he picked the crocs as his shoes to wear, but we figured it was his day and he can wear whatever he wants to wear.  Normaly everyone at the orphanage does not wear shoes, but to Anirudha shoes means bye bye and he was not being left behind.

We met with orphanage director before our blessing.  She gave us all the paperwork and passport. She had his mother years ago make her handprints and give a lock of her hair. There was also a letter from the orphanage to give to him when he is older.  It is a precious letter of how he came there and his early days, but it also gives details of his mother.  It is one of the most thoughtful things I have ever seen.  I got teary eyed several times today, but I won't go into details because today this blog is all about celebration!  

Celebration happened during his blessing from the orphanage.  Caregivers and other workers said their hopes for Anirudha, they said their goodbyes to him, and they wished him luck and happiness.  This is not a custom we do or had even seen until this week, but we understood the importance it is to the wonderful people who have been taking care of Anirudha for four years.  We also knew our son needed to say his goodbyes too, and this blessing was his opportunity.  It was a joy to see how much the caregivers like him, and we know Anirudha will miss them.

We took lots of pictures to remember this special day.  I would love to write about how the hotel continued to treat our AJ like the little prince he is once we arrived with him, but I will have to save that for another time as I am physically and emotionally exhausted.

AJ at the hotel finally being able to lookout over his city!

Letting Down Guards

Today was a really good day.  AJ seemed more relaxed with us.  We were greeted with great big hugs this morning with the expression of "they came back for me."  Oh his heart is so tender!  We heard lots of laughs today, and he smiled a lot more.  He enjoyed playing ball with his papa.  Poor Ryan, papa is not his choice of names, but I must admit it's too cute hearing AJ call out for his papa.  AJ enjoys playing outside so we spent quite a bit of our time on the playground.  I loved, LOVED holding him while we were on the swings.  Feeling his body relax while I'm holding him is such a joy.  It's a blessing he is letting down his guard!  And while his guard is being let down with us, some of the other children get jealous at times.  He has been hit a few times. It bothers me greatly to see this and we do stop it, but I also understand why they are mad.  They hit because it's the only way some of these children know how to deal with that emotion.  I can just hear Karen Purvis talk about children from the hard places.  Orphanages are hard places.  We are at the best of the best places to be.  These 80 children get amazing care, but there is not the nonstop quality time of a parent. Children crave the unconditional love of parents.  They crawl into your lap practically screaming "love me."  They put your hand on their back or head or arm for you to rub.  The little blind girl who stays in the isolation room with a baby gate at the door did not want to let go of my hand this morning because that's her way of saying "sit by me and love me."  So yes I understand why some are jealous of AJ getting parents and so much attention.  The good news is many will have their special days of meeting their parents soon.  The questioning of "will somebody love me" will be answered, and the anger and sadness will slowly fade away.  But my heart can't forget the ones who will remain and eventually be sent to older children orphanages or be put into institutions. It's crazy how such a good and joyous week is also heartbreaking.  I'm happy, truly I am.  I have waited a long time for this week.  It's just hard seeing real orphan faces. It's even more difficult once I know their names. It changes everything.  Everything!  It breaks the guard I have around my little American Dream.  I don't want a big house or a nice car or dare I even say fancy educations for my children. I just want to be a mother.  A mother who shows and tells my children of the love of God because love changes everything.

Mr. Big Personality

It's been a fun day getting to know AJ.  It's also been long and tiring but a good tired.  We don't just have one child wanting us to pick him up and play, we have about 30 kids always wanting to play. We've lost count how many children we've held, and it is an honor to hold and hug each one.  They all deserve mommies and papas to love on them each day.  They are beautiful and precious and I want to have them all!  Really I do want to be a mother to all of them.  Well maybe not that one child who wiped a booger on me today, but I could teach him to use a tissue.  Seriously, I see all their beautiful faces and personalities and cannot understand why they are still at the orphanage.  They are wonderful, and I silently pray with each hug that someone will see their value.

Our AJ is very wonderful. Oh how we love him greatly!  He makes me smile.  He also makes me sad when I see him struggle emotionally. I would like to say adoption is all rainbows and kittens, but it also has heartache and grief. We've got a long road ahead of us, but we are not afraid of it one bit. It's going to be hard.  There will be many tears shed by all of our family because this is not easy.  But love conquers all!  Love changes everything!

You're probably wondering what AJ's personality is like so I'll tell you what we've learned so far.

- He is a big ball of energy.

- He's everywhere! I'm shocked at how swiftly he smooths.
- He's everywhere!! There is no lock or gate that he cannot open.
- And in case you didn't understand, he's everywhere!!!  I love this kid!
    Example- when asking which bed is AJ's this was the reply, "well....well this is Anirudh's room.  Everyone has a spot, but he sleeps in any bed he likes." Keep in mind there are 30 kids in that one room.

- He loves cars.  He enjoys watching out the window at the cars. AJ is very fascinated by cars, and the poor little guy is going to be disappointed when he gets home because he is banking on seeing my silver SUV that was in the pictures we submitted four years ago. Anyone got a translation for that?
- He likes to spin. He also likes knowing when you are going to move...no surprises.
- He likes sunglasses (thanks Amelia for the little blue pair in the bags of clothes).
    We've played our own version of peek a boo with sunglasses-great for making eye contact.
- He is determined and doesn't change his mind easily. It's kind of like the three year old stage of 'I do it."
- He likes cameras.  Maybe he'll grow up to be like his mama who always has a camera. AJ does not care to stand still to have his picture made.
- He likes letting the other children know "my mommy" and "my papa."
- He shares very well.
- He loves the toy cricket bat.  It's cute watching him lug it everywhere.
- He likes to eat sweet things.
- He is calmer outside.
- He is very curious.  He likes to know what everyone is doing.
- He has a cute little giggle.
- He has a BIG personality. Mr. Helper likes being in charge!  :)

Well, that's all I got today so I'll get to what you're really wanting- pictures!

You will see this tree in other pictures.  It's all one tree.  It's very unique how it grows roots into the ground from the upper limbs.  I will have to research it to find out what kind of tree it is.

Christmas in July

Some Christmas joy is going around our house.  Sure it's July, but I a couple of things to celebrate. 

1- Hallmark Ornament Premiere weekend just happened!  Such a fun day!  The Brices loves Hallmark ornaments!!!  AJ's Nanny and Pops are so excited about another grandson, and they were delighted to get him his first Christmas ornaments.  These are first in a series, and I think the Santa Certified train is too cute.  I hope we have AJ by Christmas, but regardless of when he comes home, he is loved and thought of daily.

2- We got pictures of AJ this week!  They are precious.  I can't get enough of his sweet face!  These pictures are an unexpected blessing.  An internet friend who is adopting a child from the same orphanage was there over the weekend visiting her child.  I had emailed this awesome woman to see if she could get a picture of AJ, and she kindly said she would try.  Well, she gave more than I expected.  She emailed many pictures, and she gave information about him.  It was a priceless gift.  I loved reading details of his personality and what his day is like!  We are so thankful to her for taking the time to give us these pictures and information.  So grateful! 


So if you hear me singing Christmas songs, just join on in on our celebration.  It's good to celebrate all gifts...big and small.  

Until Every Child Has a Home

I love Divine Appointments.  What's that you might ask?  I call them the moments God has put you somewhere to minister to someone.  It's a moment you did not anticipate at the beginning of the day however God choose to use you to bring glory to His name.  I love it when my day is "interrupted" to encourage someone.  I had one of these sweet appointments yesterday.  When I had planned my day yesterday, I did not have sitting at a table discussing adoption with a precious couple on the schedule.  Praise Jesus, He had on His schedule to do just that!  What a blessing it is to be able to share the passion God has given to me!     

What passion has God place on my heart?

TO SPEAK ABOUT ADOPTION UNTIL EVERY CHILD HAS A HOME

One of my favorite books in the Bible is Esther.  It's Esther 4:14 that stirs my heart to pray daily to be in the kind of moment that would be classified as "for such a time as this."

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

God has been placing me in the position over and over for weeks now to speak about the many orphans in the world.  I'm not really good with words, but I keep remembering the first part of verse 14 "For if you remain silent at this time."  There are too many children waiting for relief and deliverance from orphanages and foster homes for me to keep silent.  I have to be a voice for them and encourage couples to adopt them.  Me and my little mouse of a voice is terrified sometimes to speak up, but I know my father the King of Kings has placed His daughter in these royal positions for such a time as this.  Hmmm..."until every child has a home" might take a long time, but I think it would be an honor to spend the rest of my days trying to accomplish that goal.  I'm not sure what this life is going to look like, but I'm pretty excited about it. 

Here is one of the videos of our adoption agency Dillon International.  It was the phrase "until every child has a home" that made me like Dillon so much.  I find it a great video for anyone who is considering adoption. I hope you find it an encouragement too.  There are so many wonderful agencies. I didn't put this video on my blog to promote one over the other, but just to give the encouragement someone might need to start the adoption process.

The Whys

We get asked often why we are adopting and why we are adopting from India.  Although those are personal questions, I never mind answering them.  My life is an open book for all to read so I'm just fine with sharing my thoughts and reasons.  Feel free to ask me questions anytime.  We created this blog to let family and friends know what is going on with the adoption, and we also want to be an encouragement to those who are adopting, have adopted, or may be considering adopting as well. 

Why adoption?  
My doctors have all recommended that I not try to conceive again.  My body and pregnancy just don't agree.

1st pregnancy- Baby Andy miscarried at 12 weeks

2nd pregnancy- Baby Brody born at 28 weeks weighing 2 lbs. 4 0z.

It would be a great risk for me to try for a third baby.  It was also very difficult to watch Brody fight to live.  I would not want to make another child have to go through what he did.

My first time to see Brody.  He was 2 days old.

This week we celebrate Brody's 5th birthday, and he is doing wonderful.  We still work hard to help him in some areas, but we are so thankful for all the struggles that have made us a strong family.  Brody really wants a brother, and I hope one day he gets his wish.

In 2008, we went to Africa for the first time, and it was a  trip that changed our lives.  Had Brody been on that trip with us, I'm not sure Ryan would have ever got me to leave. On day 3 of that trip, I told God how much I loved being in this village and would gladly move there.  So we began praying from that day for several weeks if God would have us to change ministries and go on the mission field.  God did speak to our hearts and gave us a knowing that our place was to continue to serve in the church and share God's word with teenagers.  He did move us to North Carolina, but He sent us here with a passion for all the nations.

Hassan and Housayni with their beautiful mother

This is who I meet on day three who broke my heart.  These tiny twins who probably weighed around 4 lbs. were so precious.  Their mother's milk was already starting to go dry, and I couldn't help to wonder as I held them if they would survive.  I wanted to help them, and I cannot hardly describe what it feels like when your whole chest aches so badly with the feeling of you need to do something.  Now these boys have parents who were doing their best for them, but I started thinking about all the orphans who have no family.  I thought about what if Brody had been born to a different family, and they gave him up because they thought it might be too hard to take care of him.  I had to change the way I thought of the world after my eyes had been open to the desperate needs of the world.  There are so many orphans in need, and our family is incomplete and is in need of more little feet running about the house with sweet little smiles that light up the room.  So we will build our family through adoption. We have lots of love to give, and we can hardly wait for our baby to come home where he or she is hugged daily and told what a special treasure they are.

Why India?
Selecting an adoption agency is no easy task.  There are many out there, and you will find yourself asking "Who's the best?"  I'm not sure there is one better than the other, but the best fit for our family is Dillon International.  We prayed a lot about what country to adopt from, and we just kept being led to India.  I've never really been around many people of Indian heritage, but during those weeks of prayer I bumped into so many of them.  Whether I was sitting in a waiting room or in an airport, someone from India would end up sitting beside me to which we had wonderful conversations.  I even came upon a family who had adopted from India at a grocery store.  God kept confirming India over and over to us. 

India is not a huge country, but it is the second most populated country in the world.  Many of its people live in near starvation on the streets in overcrowded cities.  A recent study showed the Indian states, including Bihar, Uttar Pradesh and West Bengal, have 421 million poor people.  This is more than the 410 million poor in the poorest African countries.  It was hard for me to believe at first that eight Indian states account for more poor people than in the 26 poorest African countries combined.  As I wrote in my last blog, UNICEF estimates the number of orphans at 210 million in the world in 2010. This includes the estimated 86 million orphans in India, 44 million orphans in Africa and 10 million orphans in Mexico.  To us, there just seemed like a bigger need for adoption there than in other countries. 

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8  I remember my youth minister George teaching this passage when I was sixteen years old, and it had a great effect upon me.  He shared the importance of being God's witness to our neighbors, to the person who's locker is next to you, to the old lady on the other end of town, to the opposing college football team in the state and their fans, to the people up North who don't drink sweet tea, to the people across the country, and to all the nations until we reached the ends of the earth.  I am called to go to all distances to share the gospel.  My heart's desire for many years has been to be an Acts 1:8 family.  As a family, we will be a witness in our community, state, country, and world.  India is our "ends of the earth."  We may not be able to bring the gospel to the whole Nation of India, but we can bring it to one child.


These are the answers to the "whys" we get.  It may not make sense to some, but that's ok too.  It's what is good and right for our family.  My prayer for writing this is that it will plant a seed for a new thought to someone. 

They Cry Out "Love Me!"

I have come to realize more and more that the greatest disease and the greatest suffering is to be unwanted, unloved, uncared for, to be shunned by everybody, to be just nobody (to no one).  -Mother Teresa of Calcutta

UNICEF estimates the number of orphans at 210 million in the world in 2010. This includes the estimated 86 million orphans in India, 44 million orphans in Africa and 10 million orphans in Mexico.

That's a lot of children crying out "Love ME!"  My heart breaks thinking about 210 million children who feel unwanted and unloved.  I was talking with a friend this week who has adopted a little girl, and she said something very important and inspiring to me.  She said, "We just don't talk about orphans enough."  So today I'm going to talk about them.  Maybe so many children are not adopted because people are not aware of the great need to help these children.

Statistics of Orphans:
-Every 15 SECONDS, another child becomes an AIDS orphan in Africa
-Every DAY 5,760 more children become orphans
-Every YEAR 2,102,400 more children become orphans (in Africa alone)
-143,000,000 Orphans in the world today spend an average of 10 years in an orphanage or foster home
-Approximately 250,000 children are adopted annually, but…
-Every YEAR 14,050,000 children still grow up as orphans and AGE OUT of the system
-Every DAY 38,493 children age out
-Every 2.2 SECONDS, another orphan child ages out with no family to belong to and no place to call home
-In Ukraine and Russia 10% -15% of children who age out of an orphanage commit suicide before age 18.
60% of the girls are lured into prostitution. 70% of the boys become hardened criminals.
-Many of these children accept job offers that ultimately result in their being sold as slaves.  Millions of girls are sex slaves today, simply because they were unfortunate enough to grow up as orphans.

Well reliable statistics are difficult to find, even the sources often list only estimates, and street children are rarely included. But even if these figures are exaggerated by double, it is still an unacceptable tragedy that over a million children would still become orphans every year, and every year 7 million children would still grow to adulthood as orphans with no one to belong to and no place to call home.  They are totally vulnerable and easily fall prey to predators and slave recruiters. The disastrous outcomes of most children who age out of institutional care is evidence that these children don’t know the meaning of love.

There are so many children who just want to be loved.  What will we all do about them?  Will we act like they don't exist or will we find ways to support them?

Support them by prayer

Support them by adopting

Support them by helping others adopt

Support them by helping their orphanges

Support them by being Foster parents

Support them by encouraging those who have been adopted

Support them by being a voice for them

Support them by however God leads you to love them

Just

 Support

Because

every child deserves to learn what it feels like to be loved

These are all pictures of children who are orphans.  Aren't they just beautiful creations!

I'm sure they all cry out "Love me!"

Will we love them???