Grade 6!

Pandemic life has drained me of energy and I haven't updated in ages. These posts are more for me now than anyone else, so that I can keep some of my K memories for posterity.

The last year and a half have been pretty brutal. No international travel, so we haven't seen my now 93yo FIL since New Year's 2020, and his overall health and dementia have been steadily worsening. He's now wheelchair dependent with no strength to walk on his own and is no longer able to make use of technology to chat with us. Phone calls only now, which is really sad. Who knows if we'll see him again while he's alive. I'm grateful to still have employment as an anesthesiologist, but there have been periods where the ORs have been shut down to elective surgery due to lack of hospital beds and ICU beds during COVID surges. I've been redeployed as a fake ICU nurse, caring for desperately ill COVID patients in extremis. I've worked in the ICU as a physician for the first time since 2007 (during my residency) to help out ICU colleagues when the census in the ICU ballooned like crazy. I've picked up lots of COVAX clinic shifts to help get a lot of Torontonians vaccinated. I'm thankful I was offered my vaccines early due to my career, but my second dose of Pfizer was only 3 weeks after my first (now better immunity has been shown if the second dose is 8 weeks vs 3 weeks) and was given to me 8 months ago. I'm scared my immunity is waning just as delta is becoming much more prevalent. I still wear an N95 all day at work with a surgical mask with integrated face shield over top of it to try to stay safe. Yes, my oxygen levels are just fine during the day. No, I don't get CO2 narcosis from constant mask-wearing. I just get a sore nose and have had some skin breakdown on the bridge of it at times. 

K is now 11.5yo. She was in school physically part of the time for Grade 5 last year, virtually for much of the year when the schools shut down. No school photo last year as the schools banned the photographers from coming in less than a week before her school was scheduled. I'm strangely sad about not having my usual yearly photo to enjoy. She did amazingly well with virtual school and was pretty much at the perfect age for it, able to participate independently. Her teacher Ms. W was absolutely brilliant. She had very active participation from the class on Google Classroom and set up many projects for the kids as well as a ton of virtual field trips and online experiences such as a guided tour of the environment in the far Canadian north. 

Even the end of Grade 4 was good. Her original Grade 4 gifted teacher was lovely but not super tech-inclined. The class got lucky with an amazing long-term substitute teacher when her first teacher needed to go off on long-term sick leave, and Ms. K was also a whiz at online learning when school shut down the first time after March break 2020. The shut-down meant that there was also no birthday party for K last year. Plans were in place, but the night of the party, a couple girls including K didn't feel well and with things shutting down and recommendations to avoid gatherings, we decided to cancel and just dropped off cake and loot bags to all the kids. For the 2021 party, K made a virtual rooftop party space on G.ather.com with it set up so that the kids could break out to play online games or to hang out in a "room" to chat with just a couple others. It was super fun. We dropped off cupcakes and bake-your-own-oatmeal-chocolate-chip-cookies kits as a party favour, and all the girls really enjoyed it. Her friend A was the only boy invited this year. He's super sweet, and even came by with her first-ever bouquet of flowers on May 21st last year. He apparently told her he liked her when they went to play at the park together shortly thereafter, and asked her if she liked him too. She told him yes, but then told me she wasn't so sure what that really meant. 

Our beloved nanny N stopped working for us March break 2020 as she was commuting 1h each direction on public transit and was getting more and more worried about her safety. With no more business travel for S, he became the home supervisor while working from his home office as usual. We sure do miss her kind spirit being present in our lives each day. I miss the home-cooked meal waiting in the fridge 5 days a week, and S really misses all the housecleaning she did! He's the laundry and vacuuming boss and I do most of the cooking and dishes. K likes scrubbing toilets and loves wet-mopping the floors. I clean the bathrooms and the kitchen so that S's eczema won't get even worse. At some point we'll make our lives better and hire a housekeeper, but it will never be the same as having N here. She'd told K that she was going to leave us after summer 2020 before all the COVID stuff started, because she felt like we didn't really need her any more. She had minimal time with K as the school bus left not long after she arrived in the morning and came back only about 1.25h before she went home in the evenings. That didn't leave much time for them to spend together, and cooking and cleaning can only fill so much of your day. We keep in touch a lot and have gotten together for picnics every few months. 

K is maturing fast. She complained about a tender bump under her nipple maybe a year ago and that seemed to be the first indication of breast development. I promptly stocked up on Kn.ixteen leakproof underwear for her and me as I worried that she or her cousin might get caught out by a first period while they were off on their big European cruise (to celebrate being 10yo) with Grandma in the summer. That obviously got postponed and is provisionally rebooked for 2022. She started wearing her little bralettes (I bought ahead when I'd see inexpensive ones for sale) at the end of Grade 5 when she started developing a tiny bit more up top. I hope her first period holds off for another year or two, but I think I spied the first little pubic hairs mid August. My wee girl is growing up! 

She's getting to be more tween-like with the rolling of the eyes when we annoy her and more hiding away in her room. She's an insatiable bookworm, which I fully have sympathy with. Spends inordinate amounts of time (it seems) brushing her hair. Loves picking out outfits for herself and me. Still gets great praise from all other adults in her life, with her teacher telling me that she's one of the most socially proficient Grade 5s she's ever taught, having successfully stayed out of some of the pre-teen classroom drama between a couple of factions of girls, while remaining friendly with all. Other parents tell us she's a joy to have for playdates (which have basically been outdoors), and she was absolutely brilliant when we were able to finally see my stepsisters and their kids during a day's road trip at the end of July. K was the only source of entertainment that the 3yo and 5yo needed all day, and was happy to carry the 8mo around and was even able to be the "grown up" taking him for a swim in the pool with the other kids. (The grown-ups sat on the patio furniture drinking wine and watching the pool action from a nice dry spot.)

On Sept 8, the night before school started, I made it home during my quiet call shift and got to snuggle in bed with her like we always do at bedtime. I told her again that that's my favourite time of day. She started to respond with a "me too", then backed up and told me that her real favourite time of day is spending time with her friends and that snuggling with me is now in spot #2. Then she told me that she didn't mean it in a bad way ("Nicht schlecht gemeint Mama"), but that she doesn't get much time with them these days. I told her that that's totally normal, and my job as her Mama is to help her to grow up and be independent. I don't think she really loved the sound of that! For now, I'll be grateful for every "Ich habe Dich SOOOO lieb Mama!" (= I love you SOOOO much Mama) that I hear. She's skeptical that's going to change, but I warned her that typically teenagers don't like spending time with their parents and don't get along with them very well for a few years when they're trying to establish their own independence and lives. So far, she claims she's not going to be like that. Here's hoping that she'll be easy!

I guess that's really most of the news. We've missed having so much time with my Mom during the pandemic, as she moved to an apartment about 5 min away from us only 6 months before the first lockdown. Now that she's doubly vaccinated and K had been out of school for so long, we were able to spend more time together during the summer. That's all going to come to an end now that school's back in and will only end if there's another lockdown or after K is old enough to have gotten the vaccine. It's very nice to have her be living nearby for quick Sat am Cost.co runs or coffee/puzzle visits. Pre-COVID, we were alternating having each other over for a weekly dinner. Hoping to get back to that sometime in the not-so-distant future! 

Ah - only other new things are that K took the TTC to school yesterday for the first time (no more school bussing as of Grade 6) with a couple friends (shadowed by her friend's Mom going and by the friend's Dad who trailed them home by bike. She loved the great adventure. She's also loving that she's getting an ancient phone of ours and a talk and text plan to make sure she can get hold of us when she's out on her own. 

And now to sign off. Time for coffee after I woke at 5am after 5.5h sleep and couldn't get back to sleep. Cost.co run with Mum shortly, then K and I are heading out for one of our bike rides and outdoor picnic lunches with her friend L and L's Mom who's very fun to hang out with. She doesn't have much interest in getting together with her old best friend G any more as they've hardly seen each other since COVID. I miss hanging out with G's Mom a lot. The girls have gotten shy around each other and I'm hoping they'll get back to their friendship if G's Mom and I force it a bit. Maybe when life is less busy and we are able to do more indoors with friends again? 

Interesting times in all sorts of ways!