the reason, is You.

I was just pondering over the day, over the week, the events that passed, and why I serve in the ministry. It was hard to think of a real honest reason, coz I think I have quite a few wrong reasons too, and then Isaiah 12: 2-6 struck me.

I went to look it up, and here's what it says:
"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation. With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. In that day you will say: 'Give thanks to the LORD, call on His name; make known among the nations what He has done, and proclaim that His name is exalted. Sing to the LORD, for He has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world. Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.'"

Quite sometime before, when I started out in the ministry, and when I've been in it for a few months, I have been so reaffirmed many times of why I serve, but I guess through some trials and shocks, my faith wavered a little over this week. I'm sorry, Lord. Please forgive me. I want to be used by You once again.

The speaker today is from the prisons ministry as well. I don't know if it's a special calling or something in my life, but whenever I hear from people in the prisons ministry, people who went through hard lives, I feel especially attentive and my heart is especially softened to hear them out. Hard lives as in the kind which they were sort of bad people and failures in the eyes of the average person in Singapore. People whom parents would not want their kids mixing with. Well, perhaps I been through that stigma, which is why I feel with them and identify with them. Either way, today's message made me think also, about the way I serve in church. Do I depend on my emotions? Or do I serve wholeheartedly, surrendering my all to God?

I dare not answer actually. But over this week, please keep me in prayer. I've found my faith again already, but I wish to grow more. Like be disciplined to do quiet time and all that - daily.

And since God is my salvation, I will trust in Him, I will not be afraid of my fears and doubts or what others think or say about me, for I will proclaim Your works and wonders and glory in my life. The Lord Almighty is my strength. For all He's done for me, I will give thanks. (Thanks to Ben for giving me this timely reminder today.)

Make known among the nations what He has done, not what we have done. Let all the glorious things He has done be known to the world, not our talents be known to the world, but the grace and glory and power of Jesus be known to the world. That is my reason that I'm here to worship and serve God.

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

You are a voice that called the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

'Cause You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name
'Cause You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You