Elephants and Poya thoughts

It is the Navam Full Moon Poya Day today. I saw decorated elephants walking around the park yesterday, in preparation for the ‘Pereheras’ today. Elephants in Yala have also been in the news, jeep drivers have been feeding wild elephants in the park and the elephants have turned aggressive during 'musth'. These are but signs of the times but since elephants are newsworthy I found this old news report rather amusing:

On May 28, 1873 the New York Times published an article called “White Elephants”

that starts with the following paragraph

When a Siamese despot takes a grudge against one of his poorer subjects,

and determines on his ruin, he does not cut off the delinquent’s head and

confiscate his property. On the contrary, he makes him a present – he sends

him the handsomest and healthiest white elephant he can find. The luckless

recipient knows at once that his fate is sealed. He knows that the beast

will eat him out of house and home without the possibility, on his part, of

resistance. He cannot sell or give away the fatal gift, for no one would accept

it, and the attempt to get rid of it even would be direct treason and sacrilege.

He sits down with Oriental resignation to submit to the inevitable, and the

white elephant devours his substance.

Protest votes and unlikely candidates in office

Its been a bit of topsy-turvy year; Britain voted to leave the EU and an apparently crazy outsider, Donald Trump now occupies the White House.

Both events have been put down to the protest vote. It just struck me that there is a proper protest vote party in Britain, one that has incidentally advocated leaving the EU for decades: The Official Monster Raving Loony Party, lead by 'Screaming' Lord Sutch.

They should have picked up the protest vote but did not, which is a pity. They sound a bit saner than what we seem to have ended up with, see their manicfesto and policy proposals.

The search for national identity

Symbols, colours, anthems: are these what shape our identity? We have older ones on flags, newer ones have sprung up on stickers, the shapes change; do identities change?

We have people who hail from different faiths and cultures, how do we weld them together? There are people pondering weighty questions of constitutions while I have been playing with symbols.

Ceylon's (and later Sri Lanka's) flag features a lion, the LTTE had a Tiger. Funnily, neither animal is native to this land, how did they come to symbolise people? Why different symbols for different people? Why not a common one that stands for us all?

An older Ceylonese flag featured an elephant, an animal that is native but now that the elephant has been captured by a political party it is probably unsuitable.

We must ponder this question deeply. What is it that defines us as people? What is it that makes us different from our neighbours?

It is our food.

We are what we eat and on this island our food is very different. What is the essence of this difference?

It is the coconut tree. We use coconut liberally in all our food; grated, squeezed or extracted as oil. The tree itself is our tree of life; there is nothing of the tree that is wasted; the leaves are woven to thatch, the husks make coir that is fashioned to rope, mattresses and a host of others, the shells are used as receptacles or as charcoal, the trunk yields a hardy wood; even the ekels can be used as brooms.

Fittingly, for an island people, nothing symbolises us better than this tree. It is common to us all, let this be our new symbol.

We are different. We are unique. We are the people of the coconut.

The valiant, virile Island people.

We are the Pol People.

You have to admit, it has a certain ring to it. it has been used before, too....

 

The thieves of old

A friend of mine was narrating a rather amusing story today. It concerned his father and of an incident that took place in the early 1980's.

My friend's grandmother was living alone at the time in her house in Angoda. As there were no telephones in the immediate vicinity and no way of calling for assistance my friend's father would sleep over a few days of the week, just to watch over things.

He would usually drive over in the evenings, park his car under the porch and sleep on the verandah, as it was cooler than the inside of the house. One night he awoke to see a thief trying to remove the windscreen wipers from his car.

He shouted and the thief took to his heels. Although my friend's father was not fit, he tried to give chase. In the dark he tripped over a flower pot, fell in a drain and broke his wrist. He was screaming in pain when something strange happened.

On hearing his cries, the thief turned back and with the help of someone else who turned up, took my friend's father to hospital.

An incident I thought was worth sharing, reflective of a more innocent age.

The Dictator's Handbook

Germany and Japan were militarised societies that glorified war and conquest, held human life to be cheap and regarded obedience to the state as the highest virtue.

This quote is from The Economist's review of two books on the second world war. It made me wonder if all the world's dictators are playing from the same rule book.

Years ago I listened to a satirical feature on the BBC World Service called The Ruler's Guide to Repression which set out the basic principles that any self-respecting dictator should follow.  Now, something similar has appeared in book form.

Subtitled "A Practical Manual for the Aspiring Tyrant" and carrying chapters on "Coming to Power Through Your Family", "You are the State", "The Range of Repression", and "Building Your Financial Empire"  it appears to be inspired by the Prince and is therefore a must-read for both for rulers and subjects, so pay heed.

The website carries some excerpts from the book which are hilarious, yet seem well grounded in fact. 

The book may be bought from the publisher here.

Jayawewa! Jayawewa! Thank you for voting!

What I wish for in a President

People dissatisfied with the choice of candidates at an election a may sometimes engage in wishful thinking speculating on an ideal leader. Someone of stature to whom we would unhesitatingly cast our vote. Nelson Mandela, for example or Lee Kuan Yew, a name that crops up frequently in Asia, or perhaps even Mahathir Mohamed.

Dayan Jayatilleka wishes for Deng Xiaoping the leader who reformed China and a worthy candidate,  although he then goes on muddle his argument by praising Putin forgetting that a Putin is what we are already saddled with.

I am much more practical in my approach. Sri Lanka is a small country, the talents of Mandela, Lee or Deng are suited to a much broader canvas. Why be so ambitious? Why not choose a lesser leader, one who while better than what we have is not such a world figure and is therefore more likely to take up the position?

I would settle for Omar Bongo.

 Not many many have heard of him but for 42 long years he ruled Gabon. Western concepts of governance he could not understand. He saw no distinction between himself and the state.

The suggestion of fiddling public finances flummoxed and infuriated him. Corruption, he once explained to a reporter, was not an African word. No more was nepotism: he simply looked after his family, supplying them with villas in Nice as well as the ministries of defence and foreign affairs. When French judges in 2009 froze nine of his 70 bank accounts, he was outraged. An attack on him was obviously an attempt to destabilise his country. (from the Economist obituary)

Gabon's mineral wealth helped to ease his rule.

A timber concession here, a stretch of paved road or a Bongo stadium there, disarmed anyone who objected to his way of doing things. Even Pierre Mamboundou, his most diligent opponent, was soothed after many years with $21.5m spent on his constituency. Business visitors to the capital found it chic, feudal and hospitable, like an Arab emirate; in Mr Bongo's time, Gabon's consumption of champagne was said to be the highest in the world. Everyone could be suborned or sweetened except his first wife, Joséphine, who became a pop singer after the divorce and sang cutting songs about her young replacement. (the Economist)

Whatever his faults, Mr Bongo did allow a modicum of prosperity to trickle down to his people, who enjoyed a slow but steady increase in living standards. He also brought relative tranquility, and order; rare commodities in Africa. There was apparently genuine mourning by the population at his passing.

This is all I would wish for in Sri Lanka.  They don't seem like much but I wonder if even that is too much to ask for.

Sri Lanka is not a rich land, so if Mr Bongo were to rule he would have little wealth to ease his passage. However having made so much in Gabon, he could surely be persuaded to serve here for more modest pickings. After all, some minister here made the very same argument; that it is better to have the old hands who have already made money than to get someone new who would need to start all over again.

Cerno says he has grown to fear speculation,  about the process of change and hopes that Sri Lanka will not (despite what far away analysts think), become a Somalia, a Pakistan, or some other third world hell hole.

I fear Cerno that we are already just that. We passed the Banana Republic stage some time back and we now seem headed in directions that even I don't want to contemplate.

Should the Chinese premier be an advisor to the Government?

Chinese President Xi Jinping has arrived in the 'Wonder of Asia' for a flying visit, flying being the operative word.

His visit is scheduled to last a total of 23 hours, about a third longer than the 15 hours or so that he will spend travelling to and from Beijing. (The fastest flight is on Sri Lankan that is supposed to take 7 hours and 25 minutes, one way). Assuming he spends some of those 23 hours resting or sleeping after the flight the actual hours spent waking may well be as many as those spent on the flight.

No matter, for although his time spent is short, his influence is long. Notably he has single handedly solved a problem that has eluded our leaders for ages: reducing the cost of living.

In the few short hours that he has spent the price was electricity was reduced by 25% and the prices of diesel, petrol and kerosene by Rs. 3, Rs. 5 and Rs. 20.

An amazing feat. Our greatest fear is of the prices rising after his departure. Or after the election, since that happens to be conveniently at hand.

Therefore I propose a simple solution: make premier Xi Jinping a permanent advisor to the Government! This way we will have a more permanent reduction in the cost of living.

We have hundreds of ministers and perhaps thousands of advisors, one more will not do any harm, especially since he has delivered results.

Confucius has said:

 “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”

Words to ponder, as we dance merrily down the path taken by many a Banana Republic.

Chinese President XI JinpingPresident Xi Jinping’s visit

Treachery most foul

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it." ~Terry Pratchett, The Bromeliad 

And here I was, wondering why it was so difficult to maintain an open mind! The theme of the month is the anniversary of the war victory. As it draws closer the saviours are preparing for a suitably rousing celebration, with lots of sparkle and bang.

But what of the betrayers? Those who sold their souls (or other organs, where souls were lacking) for, in the words of Corporal Nobby Nobbs, a pot of massage?

For a change, should we not use the opportunity to denounce them?  It would be good to maintain a list, just so that we know who they are and shudder appropriately when their dreadful names are mentioned.

So here we go:

The Tea Party must be promoting tea, which is a good thing for us tea exporters. In old England it was Guy Fawkes who tried to have a bit of a party, in the Paradise Isle there was a varied lot including:

1. Rauff Hakeem and seven others.
2. The six of the UNP (Abdul Cader, Lakshman Seneviratne, Earl Gunasekere, Manushya Nanayakkara, Upeksha Swaranamali, Nimal Wijesinghe).
3. The LSSP and CP.
4. P H Piyasena of the TNA
5. Citizen's Front MP, Sri Ranga


These are not very 'big' names politically, speaking. Rauff Hakeem is the most prominent, probably because of his habit of criss-crossing the political firmament like a comet.

What these non-entities did in this instance was to vote in favour of the 18th Amendment, the thing that scuttled the ship. These were all opposition MP's, had they not voted the bill would not have passed. To add insult; Hakeem was quoted as saying "My conscience is clear. I know I have not sought any opportunistic favours".

Perhaps what liberals should do is organise a Bonfire Night every 8th of September, to commemorate the passing of the 18th amendment, complete with fireworks, bonfires and the burning of the Guy. Why let the infamy pass, or pass up an excuse for a party?

ps. The Le Monde diplomatique has come good commentary on the 18th Amendment.

The new aerial menace

I was amazed to read that there is now a new and growing aerial menace.

Are we being threatened, once again by the LTTE's air arm? Hordes of flying cockroaches? Perhaps vampire bats that descend from the heavens to suck the blood of the sleeping townsmen?

No, we are now being threatened by peacocks; not vampire peacocks, or even vampire ducks, just plain peacocks. 

They are a threat not to the population at large, the people in the surrounding areas or to the vast majority of the airline traffic to the country but to the handful of flights that touch down at the Mattala airport.

The authorities are, with admirably straight faces, now calmly proposing a mass cull. The only minor niggle that has apparently prevented the execution of this brainwave has been some religious beliefs surrounding the peacocks.

Lucky for the peacocks, but not so lucky for the multitude of other wildlife being threatened by the airport. The airports authority previously closed up all the waterholes in the vicinity, now they seem to torching the surrounding jungle as well but this has not had the desired effect since the airport happens to be in the middle of the Eastern Bird Migratory Path.

Aha! What we suspected all along! These are not local birds at all, as usual it is the interfering foreign intruders who are the problem.   

In the nine months since the airport opened the only airlines to touch down are the state carrier and one budget carrier. Few people seem to want to fly in that direction voluntarily, except the birds so the simplest solution would be to close down the airport. It will eventually have to close anyway, once the debt laden state carrier goes bust.

The airport itself seems to have cost something in the vicinity of Rs.35bn to build, which, funnily enough, is close to the loss that SriLankan Airlines seems likely to make this year.

In relative terms writing off the cost of the airport is not a huge loss. Besides, keeping it running will only incur further losses so on the principle of not throwing good money after bad it would be sensible to shut it down.

This will never happen, so I will leave my readers with a quote from a different aerial menace, a vampire duck. Its from one of my favourite cartoons: (watch the intro here, its pretty funny)

Castle Duckula, home for many centuries to a dreadful dynasty of vicious vampire ducks: the Counts of Duckula. Legend has it that these foul beings can be destroyed by a stake through the heart or exposure to sunlight. This does not suffice however, for they may be brought back to life by means of a secret rite that can be performed once a century when the moon is in the eighth house of Aquarius. However, the latest reincarnation did not run according to plan – and when tomato sauce was ineptly substituted for blood during his resurrection ceremony, Count Duckula was brought back to life as a vegetarian vampire.

Caught at last: The white van

It appears that at long last, a deep mystery is about to be solved. In foreign lands we hear stories of UFO's and aliens spiriting people away, for god only knows what purpose.

In the paradise isle of Sri Lanka it is not UFO's but a White Van (or something that looks pretty much like one) that has allegedly been responsible for this.

Ministers of the Government have always denied its existence, just as sceptical scientists have denied the existence of UFO's. We believed them. Until now.

Finally the police have nabbed the object. Like a lot of mysteries this seems to have had a rather simple explanation. A gang, let by a serving sergeant major and operating out of a white van was abducting people.

The print story in the Sunday Times carried fuller details, which were even more interesting. Apparently the gang specialised in abducting drug dealers and holding them to ransom.

No wonder the police acted which such speed to apprehend the suspects. Unlike ordinary people, drug dealers are an important and growing constituency whose interests need to be safeguarded at all costs. The gang may not have realised what they were up against.

On the other hand, that still leaves open the question of who was abducting journalists and other troublesome creatures and the bigger question as to why no one has been caught. Of course these people are a totally useless lot; in an immortal phrase of the Khmer Rouge 'No gain in keeping, no loss in weeding out', so the police are hardly likely to give it any priority.

Perhaps it really is the work of aliens. At least this Sri Lankan seems to think that they abound.....


  

Absurdities in public life

Life in this country sometimes resembles a farce.

Take for an instance the move by sections of the Government to ban cattle slaughter;  something that takes place while the Government itself is proudly supporting the leather and shoe industry. This industry is pampered with duty-protection and tax breaks to the point where badly-made local shoes are becoming an unaffordable luxury.

Take the apparition that is Prageeth Eknaligoda: he appears at various times to officials but immediately disappears the moment people ask questions. He's usually seen abroad and I think I have a picture of what they have seen.

The absurdities around this and the new code of media ethics are detailed here. Speaking on the new code, Minister Rambukwelle apparently said it was to promote responsibility in the media.

I just wish there was some way to promote responsibility amongst the ministers. Surely the examples above suffice to prove the need?

Some classic items from the code:

(b) contains criticism affecting foreign relations - The foreign ministry and policy is off limits. The Government will regularly denounce the West and other busybodies but this is a separate issue altogether, OK?

(d) contains anything obscene, defamatory, deliberate falsehood and suggestive innuendos and half truths or willful omissions - the key term is "suggestive innuendos" which probably means no analysis is possible.

(h) contains materials against the integrity of the Executive, Judiciary and Legislative - Lèse-majesté. Did the visit of the Thai premier inspire this?

11.3 The journalist shall not cause the people who caught up in emergencies or suffering a personal tragedy under any pressure to provide interviews or reveal information. - no interviews with victims? Anything unpleasant said will be assumed to have been made under pressure?

The best part is that this is a code, not a law. But adhere, unless you want a knock on the door from some Heavies with advice on how to improve your moral fibre.

Farce as diplomacy?

We must laugh, if we are not to cry. This is a credo that I have been preaching for some time, usually to many a concerned citizen, worried about the state of the land.

The Foreign Ministry seems to have decided to follow this advice and has chosen to provide a new source of entertainment to the diplomatic community in Colombo and the world at large. This has taken the form of a letter from the Golden Key Depositors Association to the UN Commissioner for Human Rights.

The depositor's association, moribund for some years, was given a sudden lease of life during the impeachment of the Chief Justice. A little cash and some empty promises were sufficient to mobilise them to support the Government position. Golden Key was tangentially involved in the impeachment process so presenting the depositors as victims of the CJ and using them to muster support for the Government position made some sense from a propaganda perspective, regardless of any questions of justice, which were in any case irrelevant.

The Foreign Ministry, using a principle of throwing everything at the enemy, including the kitchen sink, has brought the GK depositors into the fray.

Poor Navi Pillay, used to dealing with complex and sensitive questions will now have to try to work out what Golden Key was, how it failed and the relevance of the depositors request:

"We request the UNHRC to provide assistance to the 9000+ victims of human and fundamental rights violations in the Golden Key debacle and to take immediate action not against the Government of Sri Lanka, but against both Mrs Cecily Kotalawala and Dr Ms Shirani Bandaranayake for committing despicable crimes against humanity unprecedented in Sri Lanka’s history. 

 Their parting missive is:

“Sri Lanka is now headed by our national hero, His Excellency Mr. MahindaRajapaksa the President who united the country after eradicating the world’s most brutal Liberation Tamil Tiger Eelam Terrorist Organization (LTTE). The Tamil separatist war, lasting nearly 30 years, was funded by stooges of the so-called Western World. They wanted Sri Lanka divided and ruled by their lackeys,”

Surely, Navi Pillay will not know what hit her and the Foreign Ministry certainly believes in laying it on thick. Some members of the depositors association may well end up with plum diplomatic positions. Perhaps they should also change the national anthem to this ?

Gentlemen

I have mused on the subject of gentlemen before. To the male of the species, this endlessly fascinating topic has more aspects to it than one, work being rather important.

What one does plays a a role in defining ones place in society and as far as gentlemen are concerned the less work the better. You see, a gentleman is a gentleman of leisure. He does not work for a living, instead he manages land or perhaps, property.

He will usually manage other investments, in shares, bonds or (even better) works of art. In these straitened times he may be forced to work, something he will despise and avoid as far as possible, endlessly shirking responsibility in the office, making him a rather lousy (if charming-otherwise one can never get away with it) employee. He will never, ever, engage in trade.

The great industrialists of 18th and 19th century acquired respectability with a country seat, so my devious mind was went off on one of its usual tangents when I read about this.

In a feudal society, where the economy is primarily agrarian, land represents wealth and in turn social position. This state of affairs persisted for many centuries until it was overturned by the industrial revolution, which created new paths to wealth and the aforementioned quest for land by the industrialists.

Coming a couple of weeks after the bill to acquire underperforming entities, does this signal a renewed fascination with this feudal idea? Or are we turning the clock backwards, to a more glorious feudal past?

The preamble to the bill talks of vesting underperforming enterprises or assets with the state, yet the schedule lists only one enterprise (Hotel Developers), the rest is all land.

There are thirty six other companies listed - but only the property will vest with the state, not the company. Some of the companies have multiple plots of land listed, so this adds to to a lot of land.

The latest to join the foray is the Central Bank, which has now bought an office in New York. Doubtless a flat will follow, for the country may as well as save the hotel costs,since we may expect frequent travel in future (else why buy an office?).

We may live in interesting times but the truly bored can read my musing on work, here.

That's, all folk, now get back to your jobs. You must work you know, your taxes are what pay for all of this.

Gaddafi: a question

Regular readers (all six of them!) will know that this blog looks into many burning issues, particularly those missed by the mainstream.

The death of Gaddafi, who died horribly at the hands of a mob, leaves many unanswered questions. What does his death say about those who overthrew him? What prospects beckon for Libya and for the rest of the Middle East?

Amidst all of these issues a crucial question has been missed. What became of the late Colonel's famed team of female bodyguards? Were they by his side or did they desert the ship?

I'm glad I'm not the only one to pose this question...

Some facts are emerging, but most of them seemed to have vanished in a puff of smoke, speaking of which, whatever happened to Poonam Pandey?

Further reading here.

Post script:
An excellent article on the killing of Gadaffi was contributed by a reader, access it here.

The proposed ban on miniskirts

Sri Lanka is now contemplating a ban on miniskirts. The ban was proposed supposedly following complaints about women wearing skimpy clothing.

I naturally assumed that Sri Lanka, the first nation to defeat terrorism, was now proposing to be the first non-Islamic, non-communist, country to impose sartorial regulation on its people- but no; Uganda, Chile and surprisingly enough, a small town in Naples have beaten us in this race. Not all were successful in implementing the ban but they were all ahead of the race in proposing the ban.

Nevertheless, we can be confident that our ban will be the best of all and to this end I have a few suggestions to the authorities. For a start, what exactly should be the prescribed length of a skirt ? Given that women come in all shapes and sizes it is not possible to specify a fixed length, nor is it practical (however desirable) to subject every skirt to inspection. Therefore we need to have regulations that are flexible. We need to take a leaf from the book of one who has perfected the art of sartorial regulation and where better to start than a convent?

St Bridget's convent Colombo, specifies precisely the dress of its pupils:

* White uniform;
Pocket with the SBC monogram (available at the School Bookshop)
* Length : up to the back bend of the knee
* Pleats : 4 box pleats all of equal size
* Darts : 2 side darts only
* Waist : 3 inches lower than the usual waist
* Belt : Loosely with 6 loops. Belt must be sewn at the 2sides
* House Badge - to be worn daily (available at the School Bookshop)
* School Tie - to be worn for school functions only(available at the School Bookshop)

The length is specified as being an in lower than the back bend of the knee, a description that can be applied easily and readily to any woman, thus fulfilling the basic requirement of clarity and universality that must be met by all laws. The nuns further specify the position of the waist and the number of pleats, all carefully designed to give the girls a suitably frumpy look and ideas that the relevant ministry can also incorporate into the proposed dress code. After all, women my try to subvert the regulation by wearing exceptionally tight skirts with (horror of horrors) long slits that may send paragons of virtue to a state of cardiac arrest. An example of such an insidious design is attached, purely that the authorities can beware of the risk (and take a strong shot of arrack after reading the post).



Lets hope the authorities implement the uniform with no further delay, we will be the first in the world and dream come true for those who entertain fantasies involving school uniforms.

Kama Sutra

Apparently, Maharishi Vatsyayan has stated in his magnum opus "Kamasutra" that ....Sex is:


"Duty", if done with your Wife;

"Art", if done with your Lover;

"Education", if done with a Virgin;

"Business Transaction", if done with a Prostitute;

"Social Work", if done with a Divorcee;

"Charity", if done with a Widow, and;

"Sacrifice", if done with your own Hand.

Thoughts on Iraq

One of the main reasons George W Bush invaded Iraq was to destroy Saddam Hussein's collection of Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD). I don't know whether the term was precisely defined but they include chemical, biological, nuclear weapons and the like.

It was all a big mistake and one that could have been easily avoided had GWB listened closely to one of his core support groups: the National Rifle Association(NRA).

Gun crime is a serious problem in America and the NRA has succeeded in blocking legislation to control guns on the argument that "guns don't kill, people do".

All Saddam had to do was contact the NRA and whisper listen, WMD don't kill, people do...

Jester goes to town in Tonga

Now a Court Jester (like myself) needs a Court to perform. There are not many monarchies around but it seems that one of my fellow traveler's found employment in the court of Tonga.

Tonga is a Pacific Island archipelago, which is just the sort of place where crazy things are bound to happen and where I would dearly love to retire. Sunshine, beaches, beautiful women and a happy-go-lucky island culture.

To return to the story, the King of Tonga hired a jester. The jester claimed to be the only one in full time employment jestering (or gesturing or is it gesticulating?) or whatever that jester's do.

The king then puts the jester in charge of a $26m trust fund. Good grief!

Kings are nutty, but why on earth does one hire a jester and put him in charge of a trust fund. Turns out the jester was a retired banker (?? bloody hell this was before the credit crunch. Now I guess it would not be so surprising, but tells you what sort of people bankers really are). I've always had a bit of a low opinion of bankers, to tell you the truth.

The jester's name was Bogdonoff, which is the most suspicious sounding name that I have come across, sounds a hell of a lot like Madoff. Investments were made through the jester's company company Wellness Technologies (!).

Anyway, the King accused the jester of mismanaging the trust, investing unwisely and taking inflated commissions. He also cheated King Taufa'ahau Tupou IV and his government out of the money the country made from selling citizenship to Hong Kong Chinese people ahead of the 1997 handover of the former British colony to Chinese rule.

Its gets even funnier. Some $20m of the fund's money allegedly evaporated after Mr Bogdonoff invested it in life assurance for the terminally ill.

Who in the name of hell sells life insurance to the terminally ill? Why do the insurance companies make you take a battery of tests before selling life insurance? Because they want you to LIVE, not die. They never make money if you die early and will never sell you a policy if you are likely to die soon. The deal with life insurance is that they pay your family money if you die accidentally, otherwise the insurance companies will be broke.

Anyway it all ended happily with the jester settling out of courts for $1m. Presumably he retired rich and happy.

Hmm.. Wonder when the next plane leaves for Tonga?

Full story here.

The End.

A friend sent me this rather witty text message. How will we describe the ending of the war? Gota-dammerung?

It is difficult to find intelligent commentary on the what is necessary post victory. Malinda Seneviratne tackles some of the thorny issues in an insightful essay on Dignity and Relatedness.

LTTE acquires B-2 Spirit bomber?

It seems that the LTTE has updated its hardware to include a couple of these babies.

That at least seems to be the considered opinion of the military establishment and the Island newspaper which reported the details.

"Their (F7s) missile systems failed to ‘lock on with the enemy aircraft," said the report which means the LTTE has got its hands on some pretty advanced stuff.

The good news is that it would would necessitate an overall review of the SLAF’s strategy, which means we can junk the new Chinese F7's and MiG 29's and buy some quality US hardware.