Defense stuff coming in the next couple days. Until then, enjoy!

Anyway, the only silver lining to losing to Georgia Tech is beating them handily the following year. The unintended consequences mean things like THIS AWESOME VIDEO (embedded below for your view pleasure) happen, making my heart smile over and over again.

As always, please remember that it's not a slap. It's a high five to your face.

Until next time kids.

Be safe.

So, thanks to some help from my top-notch research team, I present some graphs for your enjoyment STATISTICALLY PROVING Tech's inferiority.

1. Nobody does it better -- PWD has one of his teh awesomez posts that's full of Phil Steele-type statistics, but this time coming in regards of our penalty situation from last year. I read it earlier tonight and it really puts things in perspective about one area of our game that could use some vast improvement. As PWD notes, it's not about reducing the penalties as much as it's about reducing them at the right times.

2. Weekend at Bernie's -- One person who's been a blast to follow on Twitter has to be Bernie of Bernie's Dawg Blawg fame. Not only does he tweet regularly, he also blogs just as much, which means he's a good read at any point in time. So that being said, if you come here and find nothing new, be sure to jump over to Bernie's place and get your read on. Oh, and it's a damn good blog too.

3. "Who's ready for the game? Ah...nevermind" -- You know, part of the reason I can't force myself to write is mainly because I'm just not "there" yet. "There" is that part of the preseason where you sit back and think to yourself, "man I CANNOT WAIT until football season." Sure, I think we'll have a good year. I could see us easily having 9-10 wins and possibly (it's going to be very tough but "possibly") appearing in the SECC. I'm excited for Joe Cox and all those guys, but man, I just ain't "feeling it" yet. Quinton over at PWD's blog had a similar feeling, but that was nearly a month ago. Either way, I'm just ready to kick it off and finally get excited.

4. Plug it in, plug it in. -- I work for a company that sells gift baskets, holiday tins and holiday towers. If you're part of a company that does any gift-giving during the holiday season, please let me know. I'll cut you a deal.

5. One more? -- Sure, why not one more plug? I've got a nice post over at the Examiner about UGA and Carver-Columbus' situation and why it needs to be ironed out...PRONTO.

6. My name's not "Tom" -- I'll just put this out in the open. ALL STRAIGHT MEN (and some women) WANT TO SEE ERIN ANDREWS NAKED. However, what happened to her was plain awful. Truthfully, it's pretty horrific, even for a Florida Gator like herself. Since she lives in Atlanta, I'll stick up for our own and say that I hope whoever did this is brought to justice and gets ass-pounded in a prison by some guy named "Booty" for a very long time.

Well, there's my rants. Enjoy your weekend.

Until next time kids.

Be safe.

My fellow Americans,

Look how far we've come. As I write this, I am now the new President-Elect of this great nation and I humbly accept the honor that you have bestowed upon me. Today is a great day. A day of hope, a day where change is beginning and a day that I will consider to be the first of great things to come for this country.

However, more change is required and until I get into office officially, there are still some things that need to be addressed. You heard me speak of how the middle-class is eroding. That's right, the heart and soul of this country is fading away leaving people feeling as helpless as ever. In a place where opportunity, freedom and hope go hand-in-hand, situations like this need to be addressed.

Since I have no official policy-making authority right now, I have decided to use my newfound position to influence areas where my voice can be heard. Where I can inspire and give hope to those who need it the most.

College football.

You see, while campaigning last week, I was able to catch the annual UGA-Florida game from the road. What I saw was a Defense that needed hope, a helping hand and a chance to get back on its feet. I saw the heart and soul of this Defense, the Secondary, lose the ability to stop the Florida Gators from putting up massive amounts of points. Points that should have gone to the Georgia Bulldogs.

In an effort to "spread the wealth," I have developed a plan that will lift the UGA Defense back to where it should be. Back to being the heart and soul of this team. Right now, gone are the days of Erk Russell and Brian Van Gorder. Gone are the days where an opposing team steps on the field against the Dawgs and feel like they may never get an edge Offensively. 

Those days will come again.

My opponent, Urban Meyer, would like for you to believe that I'm soft on Defense. That's simply not the case. I'm actually very hard on Defense, but for too long have we had "soft" Defense on this team. We need change, ladies and gentlemen. Change we can believe in.

This Defense has had a "bend but don't break" mentality. Standing up, if I bend over, I may not be broken, but I'm twice as close to kissing someone's feet or being a prisoner's boyfriend. That, is unacceptable in Barack Obama's world.

In my world, we stand tall, we talk with our hands, we motivate with our actions, and most importantly, we WIN. 

My plan is simple. We must do the basics right. We must create a Defense that is fair, balanced and accepted across the ENTIRE Dawg Nation. Here is my plan in four simple steps:

1) Raise the responsibility of the Secondary -- For far too long, the front seven of this team has bared the brunt of an opposing Offense, while the Secondary sits back, and fails the rest of the team. That's not to say those people in the Secondary are bad people. I care about them all. However, they cannot keep going at this pace and keeping true growth from happening over the entire Defense. We must raise the tax of responsibility and coverage on the Defense in order to ease the struggles of the front seven. It will not be easy, but in my plan, only the top part of the Defense will get taxed. If this works effectively, the taxation of the front seven will only lower in this regard.

2) We must limit and fix injuries -- As you all know, health and well being are important things to me. I want this team to be healthy and I will do whatever it takes to keep them that way. Under my plan, Jeff Owens would have a robotic knee. My ultimate goal is to see players succeed and in order to do that, they must be healthy. So, at the government's expense, the next player to be hurt will become a Robo-Dawg.

3) We need strong, aggressive leadership -- You saw my campaign ads. I go for the jugular. We need a coach on the sidelines that feels the same way. I'm not saying Willie Martinez needs to be fired, but he certainly needs a change in attitude. Martinez, as a red-blooded football man, needs to find that aggression he had when he sacked Colt Brennan 2,439.5 times in last year's Sugar Bowl. In my eyes, that's the only surge that worked (ha ha!). That aggression has been lost under the last year of the Bush administration (and who can blame him for that), but no longer. I will meet with Willie personally and show him how to be ruthless, aggressive and condescending, even with a smile on his face. I did it all through the debates and in my ads. Trust me, we can make "Evil Willie" something else other than a bad name for a porno flick.

4) We must associate with other badasses -- As you can tell, I like to have people around me that have the ability to blow sh*t up at any point in time. Take my association with William "Bill Brasky" Ayers for example. That man could make a bomb out of a strand of hair, stick of gum and a Mickey Mouse doll. I see nothing wrong with that. In fact, I would suggest that UGA re-associate themselves with resident badasses like Brian Van Gorder, David Pollack, Odell Thurman, Thomas Davis and Greg Blue. We need to do dinner with these blood-thirsty maniacs and let our association with them breathe fire into this team. BOOM!...heh, just kidding. That wasn't a real bomb. 

Citizens of this great country, join me in this fight for a restoration of the middle of the field. Help me keep the greedy "let's let them get as many yards through the air as possible" Secondary in check by raising the tax of responsibility and lowering the tax of humility for EVERYONE.

We can do this. The hope is there. The change is necessary. The difference is YOU.

I'm President-Elect Barack Obama and I approved this kick-ass message.

Until next time kids.

Be safe.

Many are wondering how a tornado can rip right through an area that is 1) not flat and 2) not open, which makes creating a funnel cloud extremely tough.  For an answer, we got in touch with Mother Nature, who had this response:

"First, I apologize for all the damage, but sometimes stuff happens.  The truth is, I was gunning for Georgia Tech due to it being an eyesore and major source of embarrassment to the city, but I sneezed in the process and hit the Georgia Dome instead.  Sorry, but it's been warm lately and all the pollen just got to me."

Mother Nature then told us here on the Dawg-gone Blog staff that she had to go because she's got another storm cell building and she doesn't want to miss two times in a row.

More to come later.

Until next time kids.

Be safe (and get away from the window!).

3. Georgia Tech 2002 – Thrilling victories? Last second scores? Yes, these are the things that make what one would call a “classic,” but hanging 51 on your top rival is definitely something that sticks around in my mind. From what I remember, it was a pretty cold day and I was looking at never marching in Redcoats again. For all intents and purposes at that time, I had enough disagreements with the staff within the RCB and I just didn’t know if I’d come back for my (second) senior year. I was hoping to go out with a solid victory and Georgia Tech is one of those games that gets my blood boiling at somewhere around 1000 degrees Kelvin. You know, somewhere around the temperature of the sun. Anyway, it was a real nice day. Not too cold, not too hot and I think it was a bit overcast, which is always nice because I didn’t have to wear sunglasses. The Dawgs were just way too hot early on and quickly forced turnovers and found the endzone like it was their job. And why wouldn’t they be kicking the snot out of the Nerd Herd? I mean this was the 2002 team of destiny that was on the outside looking in for a National Title shot, but was still very much in the hunt. We were out to make a statement and we did. The “Money Shot Memory” began in the 3rd quarter when you saw the Yellow River (written by I.P. Freely) start heading for the exits. Very quickly after halftime was over it was apparent that this was a game of men vs. boys and it turned into an excuse for some key reserves to get playing time for next year…for both teams.

2. UT 2000 – Can you say “long time coming?” UGA had been getting killed by UT for years, losing what I believe to be 8 straight in the series. Not since the Herschel days had we dominated any UT team. Phil Fulmer was 2 seasons out of a National Championship win and subsequently the world’s first BCS title. It was time for us to get a win and time for Jim Donnan and Quincy Carter to live up to the hype. The Dawgs were touted at the beginning of the year to be a very successful team after years of solid recruiting. All week long there was talk in the Red and Black about tearing down the goal posts. ESPN jumped on the bandwagon as well and picked up the game to be televised at night. So let me get this straight…1) talk of tearing down goalposts 2) ESPN night game 3) TONS AND TONS of hype all week long and finally 4) Some genius from UT talked some trash earlier in the week and it was prime bulletin board material. You put all this together and you’ve got Dawg fans that will not take a loss, and they will drink as much as necessary to make sure a victory is guaranteed. The score would indicate it was a close game the whole time, but UT was never really in it to begin with. UGA scored often enough and UT stalled offensively pretty much the whole game. The “Money Shot Memory” begins with a little less than 2 minutes left. A score plus onside kick plus another score is the only thing that’s going to give UT a “W” and the students have started gathering on the sideline. In Larry Munson’s words, “The athletic department is about to lose $11,000.” The common security you see at every game starting around 5 minutes left is nowhere to be found and it’s almost time to celebrate. UGA kills all of UT’s hope on a 4th quarter stop and the students begin pouring out on the field. Flash bulbs are going off, people are running to the goal posts….and the game isn’t over. The Dawgs start chasing students back. Coaches and fans are screaming at the top of their lungs for these idiots to move back out of bounds so the clock can run out. The crowd is seemingly uncontrollable and I can remember thinking to myself, “we might have to forfeit this game with 1:40 left.” The Redcoats begin chanting “GET OFF THE FIELD!” over and over again until finally the intoxicated mob realizes that it’s over when it’s OVER…not before. Order is restored, Quincy takes a knee (and not because he dropped his joint on the ground), and time runs out. Then, the hedges are destroyed, the goal posts come down, the Dawgs are mobbed, the scene turns ugly, a girl gets trampled to the point of hospitalization, and my roommate loses my UGA hat that he borrowed. In his words “it got knocked off as I was climbing the pole.” I miss that hat.

Well, there you have it. #1 should be up sometime in the next few days.

Until next time kids.

Be safe.