Womyn Born Womyn

Right now my best friend and 1st cousin Randee Riot is at her all-time favorite event, The annual Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, otherwise known as Fest or Michfest.

According to the Michigan's Womyn Festival Wikipedia page the festival was set up as:

...a response to misogyny, sexism and homophobia,^{[citation needed]} MWMF was created in 1976 by 19-year-old Lisa Vogel, her sister Kristie, and Mary Kindig, the We Want the Music Collective. All three were working-class women from Michigan who had seen female musicians and stagehands demeaned and repeatedly harassed at festivals and venues run by men.

MWMF created (and continues to create) a feminist alternative, and a niche for lesbians in the music scene. It continues to create an annual place for living out lesbian feminist politics. Many queer women feel safe and "at home" at Michigan, with the result that lesbian-identified women are among the 3,000-10,000 women who attend each year.

Randee continually stresses the enjoyment of being surrounded by a space that is only filled with women. All women, all week. She often talks about the sense of undeniable "sisterhood" that develops throughout the week and how liberating it is to walk the land topless in a women-only society. In fact, it is one of the only places, if not the ONLY place where a woman can walk naked within a women-only environment.

However, the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival has been under criticism for a number of years due to the founder's "Womyn-born-womyn" policy. Here's some background on that:

Since its inception, "the Michigan Festival...always has been an event for women, and this continues to be defined as womyn born womyn" (Lisa Vogel & Barbara Price). This policy has gained notoriety for the festival, as it officially requests that the attendees be "womyn-born-womyn" (WBW) only. That is, those who were born and raised as girls, and currently identify as women. MWMF is one of only a few women's festivals with a WBW policy.

In 1991 Nancy Burkholder, who had attended the festival the year before without incident, was expelled from MWMF when she disclosed her transsexual status to festival workers who, in turn, informed the festival office. Burkholder was asked to leave the festival and received a full refund of her ticket. Festival organizers continued to advocate their support of the women-born-women policy even as criticism from some segments of the queer community mounted in response to Burkholder's departure.

Supporters of the policy believe that the particularity of WBW experience (separate and apart from a woman's experience) comes from being born and raised in a female body, and see the festival as a celebration of that experience, under the oppression of patriarchy. Many attendees and workers remark on feelings of liberation they experienced while within the WBW-only environment of the festival: from a feeling of safety at being able to walk in the dark without fear, to a deep and sometimes virgin acceptance of their bodies. Supporters of the policy feel that the experience of being WBW in a place that honors the bodies, brains and brawn of WBW (regardless of how they "fit" into mainstream culture), and rescripts the limiting experiences available for women and girls, is vital to unlearning a lifetime of internalized misogyny for both attendees and festival volunteers.

The festival has stated that it does not and will not perform "panty checks." Rather, it states that women must "self-monitor", and attend only if they can honestly state that they were born as a girl, lived as a girl, and presently identify as a woman.

I support and respect the right for the founders to make any decision they choose regarding the womyn born womyn policy, since it is their event, but this debate has me asking, "How does one define Transgenderism?"

In my personal opinion, if one feels as though he or she has been born into the

wrong body than that's enough to qualify as Trans, or the new, less technical term GenderQueer. Although The Womyn's Music Festival vows to not do any "

panty checks" it seems as though the inclusion of Transpeople to a festival like this would have to be all or nothing. Being pre-op, half-op or even post-operation male-to-female transgender simply cannot matter. Who is to say that being pre or post op makes one more or less of a woman? You simply can't.

With ENDA in the news and Transpeople becoming a louder and more visible community it is important that we are compassionate to the perspective and struggle of transfolk. I've often heard straight people ask, "but I just don't understand the whole gay thing." To that I respond, "It's not for you to understand. You're not gay." I do, however, expect compassion and respect.

I remember at a community forum not too long ago a Transman standing up and saying, "We do our activism everyday by merely being who we are and walking within society. We need you people, the community, to walk alongside us."

True BFFs!!

It's Friday and Friday is a time for friends. I love my friends so much. So much that I cry sometimes when I think about them being in my life. I'm so lucky to have them. They truly are my BFFAEAEAE (Best Friends Forever And Ever And Ever And Ever)

Eric, The Roommate and I have been friends since the 5th grade. After college we lived together in LA for two years and we're still roommates here in NYC. He is the closest thing I've ever had to a brother. We're pretty inseparable and despite his crossed legs and baby blue V-Neck shirt- he's straight. If any women reading this blog really dig fit Jewish vegetarian musicians- Eric's your guy.

This is us when we lived in LA with Matt (our other best friend who we've known since Junior high and who is also a musician and yes- straight.) Schook, a few friends down, lived next to us and referred to us as "My Three Jews," as if we lived in a sitcom, which much of our life happened to be.

Gwen is another best friend of mine and my first official gay role model. Gwen came out at 14, when we were in the 9th grade by writing a courageous article in the school newspaper demanding acceptance and tolerance for gay and lesbian students. I didn't come out until 18 but she was a definite catalyst in my decision to do so. She has an intimidating intelligence, a great sense of dark humor and is a favorite drinking buddy- she knows more than anyone else that when I've had one too many, instead of getting rowdy, I get smoochy- she's always a target.

Gruber is yet another best friend of mine from childhood. We've been friends since we were 5! He is also a brainiac- responsible for creating some very popular and widely used virtual worlds and knows everything from books to film to hip hop. His first name is Eric, so yes, that makes three best friends all named Eric who all happen to be Jewish. I'm the only rainbow flavored one though. He's seen here trying to kiss Gwen's girlfriend- the always stellar, Nikki.

Eyal and I have been friends since Palm Springs White Party 2002 when I noticed a Star of David dangling from his towering 6'7" body frame and bonded over being, quite possibly, the youngest guys there. I was only 20 and he was just 24! We've been friends since- from Palm Springs to New York to LA and back to New York. Eyal is the founder and CEO of BoyButter Lubes. He's seen here smiling his face off (as always) with boyfriend Brendan.

Schook is a more recent best friend. We met in 2004 when we were just piss-on Production Assistants on Paris Hilton's "The Simple Life" reality TV show. He was and still is my go-to for a dry and witty sense of humor and the latest in hot-poppin' sneakers.

Rrrriot! and I happen share a brain and there's more to it than simply being queer 1st cousins. Thanks to that side of the family we're almost identical in silly-obnoxious humor, taste in movies, music, people and taking our shirts off. We can make each other laugh for hours. She's my sidekick, my cuddle-buddy, my partner in crime and my favorite person to cruise guys with. After meeting and hanging with so many of my friends she's a self identified queer-female bear lover! Every Sunday we set out in an aimless direction and get brunch at any new restaurant we stumble upon. Mostly we find ourselves in the West Village and almost always end up at the Christopher St. Pier, whether it's winter or summer, where wrestle and roll around in the grass like mentally challenged maniacs. My mother refers to us as yenta 1 and yenta 2 and she's drop. dead. GORGEOUS!

Wayne. Wayne has become more than just a great friend he's become an influence, a mentor and a motivator. Since meeting Wayne my views on so many things- from activism to literature to gay culture to sex to history have all changed for the better. I first met Wayne by picking up his novel "Hard" at Barnes and Noble. "Hard" is a fictional novel about the struggle for liberation during the NYC based sex wars of the 1990's told through the eyes of a sex positive Jewish bear-cub. I read the book in a matter of days and googled Wayne with hopes of sending him an email to tell him how much I enjoyed it. A few months later I was making my way across town to the Dugout where Wayne was holding a book signing. As he signed my copy I called him Mr. Hoffman and told him how much I appreciated his book and how courageous he was to write on the topic. I had no idea that months he'd become an incredibly close and important friend. He's adorable and has one of the biggest hearts I've ever known. Here he is reading at Rapture Cafe.

I have to go and wipe the tears from my keyboard now. :)

Weekends

Friday evening Nick was in town from Los Angeles and we caught up over dinner at some Hell's Kitchen joint called HK. There was lots of concrete and lights in the floor and straight lines and lagging service. Nick and I spit the details of our latest life back and forth and traded stories of our days in LA. It was nice to catch up, he's a good friend, it almost covered up the lackluster service and mediocre food. I got the bacon cheeseburger and while the presentation was good the meat didn't hit home. Craving something sweet and wanting to get the hell out of HK we hopped a cab downtown to Billy's Bakery. Billy's is an explosion of yellow and icing. Just smelling the place can give you a cavity. Everything is moist and soft and caked with I-just-gotta-lick-it frosting. Nick got a slice of the Red Velvet cake and I the blueberry cheesecake. Needless to say, five minutes later we were sitting outside, stomach bloated spitting sugar out of our teeth and I dying for a cigarette. We remained there for awhile before Nick was meeting a friend at the Eagle. I escorted him there had a beer and split. The cheesecake had done me in.

Saturday I woke up and grabbed brunch with Eric the roommate and Randee at a new Italian/Mexican fusion restaurant across the street from my apartment. This place serves a brunch like no other. It's not your typical omelet and French toast fare. In fact, New York Time's Magazine says, "What do you get when a Tuscan chef marries a Mexican one? In the case of Matilda, a quirky new Alphabet City restaurant, you get wood-burning-oven-baked focaccia with your guacamole, prosciutto and basil in your quesadilla, and filet mignon alla Fiorentina in your tacos.." The brunch menu alone had so many interesting choices that it became the first time in a long time I had tothink further than eggs or pancakes. Check this place out.
Afterward Eric went home and I Randee and I jumped to Mud Cafe to say hi to Brooklyn and borrow her long board. Soon enough Randee and I were thrashing our way over to the West side where we spend many weekend afternoons. The weather was gorgeous and we took our time heading over and up. We started at 9th st. and 2nd Ave. Headed up 5th to 20th and skated over to 8th where our friend Sasha just moved in. We stopped by, met her parents, wished her luck on unpacking and headed back out to the West Side Highway bike path and down to the Christopher St. Pier. The sun was just hitting that early autumn 4pm peak giving way to a golden-pink sunset and a breeze which made us feel sedate. We went out on the pier skating a few yards in and spotted a fur patch of friends. Frank, Tony, Danny, and Andy greeted us with smiles and made room for us on their sheet. Something about those piers, the weather, Jersey City sparking across the river and probably the feeling of soft green grass under my toes makes me incredibly energetic and I pounced on my friends like a kitten to cat nip. Soon enough we were all rolling around, throwing grass and piggy-backs at each other. We enjoyed ourselves and the particularly odd warm weather until the sun grew tired and Randee and I hungry. The gang split apart, Randee and I jumping on our boards once again and eventually finding dinner of nachos and fajitas with Eyal and Brendan. It was just the perfect cap for a Saturday so filled with warmth.









Sunday started off pretty lazy. I didn't get up until noon and started answering some questions Michael Crawford a contributor from Bilerico.com had asked me after taking an interest in my HIV/AIDS Public Service Announcement. They were questions based primarily on my experiences in the community as a young gay man, what influences motivated me to be outspoken and whether or not I have any answers to solving the HIV-still-matters issue and the generation non-communication gap. I had fun answering his questions. I answered in complete honesty and really reached within myself to find the root causes of why I care. Can it be simply that I just do? It's hard for me to conceptualize the idea that some people don't. I finished half the questions and got ready to head out, after all it is New York Leather Fest. I strapped on a Sam Brown, picked up Randee and we jetted to the West Village to check out the leather fest, not because I'm particularly even into leather, but because I care that events like these continue having the right to exist. Randee and I got there and I introduced her to my posse and other fellow tribesmen. I met up with Alex, one of my fiercest buddies, who was assigned the role of Leather Weekend Photographer and we bought some drinks and enjoyed the leather strapped, snap, crack and whap exhibitions. The crowd was mostly tame, easy going and the street wasn't even packed but it still ended up being fun day in the sun. A new reason to just get together with friends and people once again before the autumn officially begins. Before late, low and behold, the Dugout was packed to the walls with men enjoying themselves. Randee grew tired of being a delicate seashell in the ocean of men and retired to her board and a peaceful night. I ran off with Alex, uptown to the Eagle to finish off another night and another week.

Republican Congressmen Love Gay Sex- Day 2

Protest Day 2- Union Square, NYC

After having such a fun and successful time at our previous comedic protest, Riot and I went back to Union Square to enjoy another day of sign holding and wise-cracking at the Republican expense. This time we were accompanied by Dr. Jason (far left) and Anthony (far right.) It was another wonderful day with lots of photo snapping, laughs, bringing awareness to the issue, and most importantly- thumbs up. Our new sign got a lot of smirks and smiles: "Larry Craig Sucks at Cruising" which is both funny and true.

Republican Congressmen Love Gay Sex

...Being entirely outraged at the latest Republican gay sex and self loathing scandal I decided to speak out and have a little fun at the GOP's expense.

My sidekick Riot and I decided to make a sign, walk to Union Square and relax in the sun, and hang around. Showing the sign was an absolute success. People laughed, asked questions, became educated about the issue, and gave us thumbs up. In fact it was so successful, fun, and satiating for the soul that Riot and I are returning at 3PM this Monday to do the same thing. I invite everyone to come join us, bring your own signs, and have FUN speaking out. The gay community will not be tainted by this hypocrite's action!

COME join us Union Square Monday 3PM!

!

Adventures in Unemployment- Korea Town

Day 47...

Matt Lewkowicz- Korea Town, NYC

Riot showed up at Rapture Cafe where I was emailing and doing everything possible to find a job. She shows up wearing a bikini, ya know, on a Monday, in the middle of the day, why not? How fierce.
One of my best bro's in the world, Matt Lewkowicz, is in town from Los Angeles visiting family and what not and blocked off time with me and two other friends of ours, Jannica and Gruber, to grab dinner and drinks. I was in the mood for Korean food and Jannica, being Korean recommended we go to Korea Town for dinner. Korea, where? What? There's a Korea Town in Manhattan? Oh. Ok, let's go.
Matt, Jannica, Gruber, and I sat down to a wonderful Korean Barbecue restaurant and caught up on our current lives as well as talked about the days of our distant youth. All four of us, much like my core group of inseparable friends, have known one another since Junior High. It is always a wonderful and often crazy time when we can get together. And tonight was no exception to this rule.
Jannica, being quite an adventurer mentioned we should all go to Rick's Cabaret around the corner and get lap dances. Having 1) never been in a strip club before and 2) never received a lap dance, I shrugged and said, "Sure, what the hell..."
$40 dollars and a few drinks later, I had a girl grinding herself into my body and beard and also my wallet because when she was through she told me I owed her $20 bucks. I didn't ask for this lap dance but I suppose I didn't say "No thanks," firmly enough either and before I could say "stilettos" I had an empty wallet. Then she asked, "Did you enjoy that," to which I grinned and responded, "um, yeah, that was nice." "Good," she said with a wink, "Do you want to go upstairs?" "Uh, er...No thank you but I really enjoyed your moves, quite swanky." She rolled her eyes and then preyed upon Matt sitting adjacent, pointing and laughing at me.
After we all spent more money than we had planned to we decided to book out of the joint and hit some other place. Jannica made another recommendation which was to go to a local karaoke place. We're in Korea Town, right? We ended up going to this place which I can't blog about because it was all in Korean and I wouldn't be able to even tell you the name of the place. We went up the elevator and ended up being lead by a small man down a narrow corridor into what looked like a cell block straight from the movie Blade Runner. Everything was metallic, shiny, and complete with a touch of 80's cheese- everything I expected from a true classic karaoke bar. We ordered some drinks and were handed a massive remote control which, of course, was all in Korean and after much deciphering couldn't make heads or tails of how to work it. Finally, Jannica punched some numbers in and American songs started popping up. We sang along to a few songs. Gruber: Slim Shady by Eminem. Matt: that song by Dido, ugh. Me: Milkshake by Kelis. Jannica: just stared at us with an appalled look on her face. We very quickly grew tired of trying to figure out the remote and singing songs to one another so, having a whole room to ourselves, what else is there to do besides get rowdy, wrestle, and scream obscenities into the microphone. We proved to be more talented at being obnoxious than singing and more fun doing this too.

Randee Riot

Riot...
...Often billed as the Paris Hilton of the East Village Lesbian punk rock scene Randee Riot is my first Cousin and female best friend. Standing at maybe 5 feet and weighing in at 95 pounds Randee comes complete with sass, attitude, a fierce fashion sense and grass roots activist mind. Randee is one tough (and outrageously hot- I mean model hot) cookie! Always up for a night out or a day spent exploring the city, either on foot or via her longboard Randee is the closest thing I've ever had to a heartfelt, true girlfriend. Unfortunately, she's my first cousin and us both being on the queer side of fence doesn't make matters any better. Sometimes, in our most drunken and wild moments, we often have to prevent ourselves from kissing. Ok, that might be a little too much information but this my blog and dammit I'm going to speak the truth! We are inseparable. My roommate, Eric, once said in a bizarre statement of utter truth that I'm gay and in love with my lesbian first cousin. Oye!

Randee and I fastened a relationship during childhood when her father directed home movies of which we shared staring roles. There was "Indian Jones and the Temple of Beth Israel" as well as "Beetle juice" and the unforgettable "Lean on Me" staring me as Principle Joe Clark. I suppose you kind of had to be there. In any case, our relationship separated when we entered high school but rebounded at my oldest sister's wedding when we both came out to one another. We were both in college at the time. She was impressed by the fact that I knew all the Bikini Kill lyrics (of every album) and she liked me for being her bearded gay cuz. Since then, every time I visited New York Randee's apartment on 10th St. and 1st Ave. would become "Hotel Randee" and we became fast and crazy pals, rekindling everything- the silliness, inappropriateness, and high-energy level- we shared as children. I moved only a block and a half from her and I can't say I've found a love greater than her since. She's amazing and jaw-droppingly gorgeous. I love her with all my heart and actively carve out time in my week to spend time with her to catch up and cuddle. In short, she's the fiercest bitch I've ever known. She was gone this past week having traveled to the Michigan Womyn's Festival to celebrate her Sapphic lifestyle and spend time with her sisters. She called me upon her immediate arrival back in NYC. Holla, bitch. Holl-A!