"Where have you been"

The very fact that I have not posted anything on my blog in months just shows me how BUSY life has become.  I have sat down to write several times and just said forget it.  I have put "Post a Blog Entry" on my list of things to do each week and have yet to check off till today.

"Where have you been?" ... seems to be the question I feel like I get asked a lot lately. 

So where have i been? why have you not heard from me? Well to be quite honest I have been working.

I now work Monday to Monday. 

I continue to work as a substance abuse counselor Monday - Friday from 5:30am - 2:00pm.
I study with a friend each Tuesday afternoon for several hours for my licensing exam that I plan to take again in November. 
I have supervision each Thursday for an hour, and Group Supervision the last Wednesday of each month.
I work at an In -Treatment residential facility for eating disorders Saturday and Sunday 7:00am - 3:00pm.  I  have house sat for 3 different families this summer.  I have taught some swimming lessons for a family in my small group.  And Once in a while I baby sit.

I know it sounds like a whole lot.  And it is. But truth is, I need the money.  In my unemployment months I accrued a significant amount of debt and I am working very hard to get that paid off.  I need 3,000 direct hours of client contact to work towards getting my license so I also need the hours. For now this is my new season of life.  I remember when I wasn't working how much I longed for something to do... now i have plenty to do.  For the most part I enjoy what i am doing.  I am getting a lot of experience in a lot of different things.  And honestly I enjoy the other odd jobs of baby sitting and house sitting because they are totally different from my day jobs.

Some days are harder than others in having this schedule.  I am trying my best to make sure to do some fun things when I am not working to maintain some quality of  LIFE.  Other days I just want to lay down and rest.  I try to remind myself that this won't last forever and someday I will get to have weekends again but like I said some days are better than others. 

How crazy is this...
I have a Masters degree and an associate license in counseling and I am making the least amount of money I have every made professionally. 



And it's odd that with the amount of busy that has happened how much my longing for a man in my life has been stirred up.
I long for someone to share the financial burden with.  I long for there to be someone else to make life's decisions with.  I long for someone to help me bare the burden's of life with.  I know that marriage is hard, messy, and not perfect.  But I can't help but think of what life would be like if someone was apart of this with me.  I know that if I was married I may not have been able to do all the things I have done like go to Seminary, move to wherever I want, work all these hours, etc.  But I don't know that I want all this freedom all the time.  I know it may sound crazy but sometimes I wish I had someone to argue with besides myself.  I wish I had someone else to decide what to get at the grocery store.  I wish I had someone else's laundry to fold.  I wish that when I opened a suitcase for a trip it had his clothing packed along side mine.  I wish when I planned a trip I had to think of two tickets instead of one.  I still long for man in my life ... and I get afraid that the amount of work I have taken on will prevent this from happening. 

To all of you who read this blog.  Thank you.  I appreciate you and your wanting to know what's happening in my life. thank you to all who have nudged me to keep it up.