Breaking News! Trolls Invade The Penny Dreadful

Kratan - I quite like in here; it's warm and comfortable. 
Kutril -  Me too. This is Angie's place, you know?
Katran - Yeah, The Penny Dreadful is great and she's too! Do you think she's as pretty as Aimee? 
Kutril - I don't know; we've never met in person, remember? 
Points to his own head.
Kutril - Besides, you shouldn't talk about 'her'. Uncle will have our skin if he knows about it. 
Kratan, with dreamy eyes - I wonder how she looks like.
Kutril glares.
Kratan, with raised eyebrows - I know how Aim-- 
Slaps himself in the face. 
Kratan - I'm talking about Angie, dumb-dumb. 
Kutril - Oh.
Kratan, conspiratorially - I've heard that she can change into a tiger. 
Kutril, looking at both sides - What? Why didn't you tell me she was dangerous!
Kratan - We don't know that. 
Kutril - Here you come again with your P-whatever-word. 
Kratan rolls his eyes; Kutril snorts and farts simultaneously. 
Kutril, tapping his rumbling belly - Anyway, do you think they have goats here? 'Cause if they do, I could stay forever, tiger or no tiger. 
Kratan, grinning - Let's check it out!


And so the trolls invaded The Penny Dreadful. 


If you haven't heard of The Penny Dreadful I suggest you jump over there asap. It was created by Angie Capozello to resurrect the art of serial fiction. With an old fashioned look that remounts to the 1800's printed stories, the website is a platform to showcase the work of some very talented writers. 

The thing is, TPD is not limited to literature. It's a fantastic project that includes comics, podcasts, chats with authors -- including, ahem, me, heh -- and it's opened to many forms of serial art. 

Their generosity goes beyond creating a bookstore which revenue goes entirely to the authors. They (kind of) offered a home to Kratan and Kutril, the kind-hearted trolls that at this moment are running for their lives. 

Nop, you did you not read wrong. If you're not acquainted with Kratan and Kutril, you should know that they're quite harmless folks, passioned about humans; not in the culinary sense, mind. They're curious about us and our big words. Goats, on the other hand... 

You can read the whole thing through The Penny Dreadful, along with many other great stories. Have fun! :)

Guest Post: Claudia H. Christian - 5 Reasons Why Bookstores Matter

About a month ago we talked at the #bookmarket twitter chat about how to connect with bookstores in order to get books out there. It was a fantastic and informative chat where two bookstore owners shared some great tips of what to do and what not to do when contacting this important figure of the publishing market. However, the topic was so interesting that I felt I needed a complement, so I invited Claudia Hall Christian, the mind behind that great chat, to write a post about bookstores and writers. Enjoy her wisdom, she has plenty of it! 

*

Claudia Hall Christian is the author of the sweet and crunchy serial fiction, Denver Cereal and the heartfelt thrill ride, the Alex the Fey thriller series. She is a co-owner of Cook Street Publishing and the leader of #bookmarket, Twitter’s only chat on Book Marketing, on Thursdays 4 p.m. ET. She can be reached at her personal blog – On A Limb, Twitter at @ClaudiaC or on Facebook at facebook.com/claudia.h.christian.

*

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say that bookstores are dead. Conventional wisdom for a new author says you should not waste your time with bookstores. After all, the US Census Bureau estimates bookstores sell 16.6 billion dollars in retail book sales and non-book sales while Amazon.com and BN.com sell over 10 billion dollars in books alone. Amazon and Barnes and Noble capture almost half of the book sales in the US. It’s easy to see why you’re encouraged you to focus on selling books online.

Conventional wisdom is wrong.

Authors need bookstores. Here are a few reasons why:

1. Bookstore employees put books into people’s hands: Literally, bookstore employees walk people to bookshelves and put a book into someone’s hand. When a book is put in a person’s hand, they almost always buy it. Who wouldn’t love having their books set into a customer’s hand for the customer to trot on up to the cash register with it?

2. Bookstores are gathering places: A bookstore is a wonderful place to talk about your book. Once the book is written, edited, bound and printed, you will need places to talk about your book. Your local bookseller will love to have you come to talk about your book.

3. Bookstores sell books: It sounds simple. But selling books is the entire reason bookstore employees show up for work. Even if the floor cleaner works on the floors to create a comfortable environment for the sale of books. You want to be a part of that stream.

4. People who shop bookstores read: Everyone shops at Amazon.com and BN.com. People who read books, join book clubs, and talk about books shop at bookstores. Your market is walking the aisles of your independent bookstore right now. Your book should be there for them to read!

5. An infectious environment. As an author, once the book is completed, your job is to develop your audience. Bookstores are your first audience. Give copies of your book to your local independent bookstore. Let them read what you have to say. If they like your work, you’ve got your first customer. Like a virus, they will pass your book on to the book readers in your community. The book readers will pass the book along to their friends who read books and your audience will catch your reading bug.

So drop by your local bookstore today. Drop off a book for them to review. Ask them how you can become apart of their collection.

Get going! Your audience is waiting!

Uh, oh! Randomities Won the One Lovely Blog Award!

This is a very nice award, granted by Amy K. Nichols, who I'm happy to have met on Twitter.

It came incredibly timely, as I was musing on a way of welcoming some new twitter friends I've come to appreciate really fast.

I felt incredibly welcomed on Twitter, once I found out how to interact there that is, heh, so I wanted to spread this feeling around. There is no better opportunity than this. :)

So, to the fun part, I grant the One Lovely Blog Award to:

1. Jodi MacArthur, of Fiction Writer - Jodi MacArthur
2. Annie Syed, of Trial of Words: Writings and Fragments
3. Valerie, of As the Moon Climbs
4. Jeanne V. Bowerman, of ramblings of a recovering insecureaholic. A small confession here: I've known Jeanne for a while on twitter. She's the #twitterPIMPangel everyone talks about, and the incredibly cool moderator of #ScriptChat. Since I've found out about her blog only now, I gave myself the liberty to bend the rules a bit, heh. ;P
5. Susan Bearman, of 2KoP: Two Kinds of People
6. Kathryn Magendie, of Tender Graces
7. Jim Wisneski, of writers 'n writers
8. Estrella Azul, of Life's a Stage
9. Margo Gremmler, of Margoblog
10. Catherine Russel, of Ganymeder
11. Barry Northern, of 21st Century Writer. Psst, check out his cool CYOA project - Choose Your Own Adventure. ;)
12. Jem, of Jemfyr
13. Claudia Hall Christian, of On a Limb With Claudia. I've also known Claudia for a while, but I just found out about her blog. She's the co-moderator of the incredibly educating and welcoming twitter chat #BookMarket, along with Carol Corbett. Must check out!
14. Carrie, of Purelycarrie Blog
15. Aindan Fritz, of Aidan Writes.

Whew, what a generous award! Finding fifteen new blogs to spread the love isn't as easy as it seems. Sorry folks, for the extra work I'm giving you with this thing. ;P

Just a final reminder, here are this award's rules:

1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.

2. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered.

3. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Retirement - #StoryCraft

#StoryCraft is a twitter chat with discussions focused on the craft of writing. This week's challenge is to write a piece of 200 words using exposition (telling) sparingly but well.

Here's my attempt. Let's see if I've met the challenge. ;)

Note: Warning for bad wording. The characters are what they are, just saying. ;P

Retirement

“So, are you in?”

“You know darn well I’m retired.”

“C’mon Cloud, we’re about to score big time, but we need you in this one!” You fucking moron.

Claudius McNair was the cool headed sort that wouldn’t flinch before a gun pointed to his head. He looked up to his hot tempered friend and said, “I’ve paid the price for this kind of greed,” he paused, looking straight at Mike’s eyes, “and I don’t intend to come back there.”

Mike frowned and Cloud continued, “Just leave me be a fat old guy who likes to shoot some deer once in a while.”

You used to like your killings back then, you son of--

“It’s no good,” said Cloud, interrupting Mike’s thoughts, “don’t waste your time trying to convince me.”

“Nah, I was just thinking of who could fit your suit.”

“There’s a new guy in town, haven’t you heard?”

“Why didn’t you fucking say so? I’ve lost a whole afternoon talking to an old fag who knows fucking well how tight our schedules are!”

“You never asked.” Cloud grinned.

* * *

Note: I found the gorgeous sunrise picture here.

What's It Like? - #FridayFlash

Note: Warning for gore and some violence. No exaltation of it of course, but be prepared.

What's It Like?

Everyone else was having fun. She was shaking internally, and drinking. At each filling up several eyes met, narrowing at the inconvenience. She wanted to smack off their yellow smiles.

She was finally getting anesthetized by the alcohol when the cute blondie Maria turned to her, "Say, you're Jeniffer, right?"

She nods.

"So Jeniffer, what's it like?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know..." Maria leans her head in the cutest way she knows, the way even girls fall for.

Jeniffer frowns, "I don't know what you mean."

There's a sudden silence. Maria pauses, unsure whether to press on or not; she sees her best friend's eager eyes and makes a decision; she clears her throat, "You know, to be abused."

"Abused."

"Yes..."

"You want to know how it feels to be abused?" Jeniffer asks incredulous.

"Well, yeah?"

"No, you don't."

Jeniffer stands, carefully holding her cup with both hands, as well as the incoming tears. She swallows them, walks calmly to the buffet and serves herself with another beer, wishing it was something stronger. The memories are back in full swing.

Damn therapy, she thinks, it only works for their own peace of mind. It's all bullshit.

Jeniffer takes her time, hoping that the topic will be dropped. Maybe she should go home, it's not as if she's having a great time, is it?

"So?" she hears from behind.

With tensed shoulders she turns, "I beg your pardon?"

"We're waiting," Maria says, leaning back in her chair, wearing a mischievous grin.

Not a single gaze is diverted from Jeniffer's burning eyes. Most guests shift position, the hostess squeezes her boyfriend's hand searching for comfort. He doesn't squeeze back.

Jeniffer presses her lips together and refrains from crushing the plastic cup. She too makes a decision. She rests the cup on the table, gently, and circles it towards the other girl.

"You want me to tell you how it feels to have someone hurt you so badly that you're damaged for good, that you feel like, like..." She swallows, "No matter."

Jeniffer shows her teeth, pausing to see the effect it creates on her newest friends. When she reaches Maria's chair the remaining smiles are gone, including Maria's. Jeniffer wonders how's the look on her face, ugly, scary, pathetic?

From behind Maria, she leans forward putting a hand on the table and whispers in her ear, "I'll show you what it feels like."

Before anyone can react, she makes room with her left arm, grabs the scared girl by the neck, shoving her on the beer washed table and lifts her pink skirt.

This is when the audience realizes what her intention is. A broad shouldered guy stands up, jumps behind Jeniffer locking her both arms and suspending her. She throws her head back, breaking his nose. Released from his grip, she elbows him in the ribs and puts her right foot behind his left, making a lever and pushing him down by the bloody cheek.

While he grunts on the floor, she grabs a half eaten salami, puts Maria back in place, rips her panties off and touches it on her most sensitive parts.

Holding the salami there, she leans on, "Oh, don't you worry, I'm not going further with this." She smiles against Maria's choking, "Now you'll know what's it like not wanting to talk about something bad that has happened to you."

Jeniffer can't hear anything but the ringing in her ears, although she knows that all breaths are held. She releases the girl when seeing her tears flow.

"You wanted to know how it feels to be abused, as you put? Multiply this one moment by, say, a thousand, and you won't be even close to the sensation of being raped, tortured and starved for the eternity."

Jeniffer takes a deep breath and turns to the open mouthed birthday girl, "It seems I'm not a good company just yet."

To the party's bulged eyes she adds, "Maybe never?"

With a bitter smile, Jeniffer circles the table back to the far couch where she left her purse and heads for the door.

"Wait," Cathleen shouts, "you just kicked Little John's ass. I didn't know you could do that!"

Sliding the door open Jeniffer answers, "You didn't think I'd go through all that and not take self defense classes, did you? Happy birthday."

Note: The "Woman Frowning" I found here, and the artist's page is this. Pretty cool things in there. ;)

Zombie Walk - #FridayFlash

This is my first attempt of #FridayFlash. This is also my first horror story, and my first zombie story as well. Contrarily to what you might think, I don't like Zombies. I've set a challenge to myself to write something zombie-themed after a most amusing conversation with Jodie MacArthur and Jim Bronyaur. I hope you'll like it. :)

Zombie Walk

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” said Claire.


“C’mon, this is fun! Look at that awesome costume,” replied Silver, grinning to a half exposed brain.


“Besides, you look cute with these unseeing eyes.” She winked.


“Eww! How can you think that someone looks cute dressed up as an undead?”


“Just play along Claire. You might even have some fun.”


Claire decided to follow her friend’s advice, managing to find the stumbling bleeding corpses somehow amusing.


These people take great care to make the best costumes they can, I’ll give them that, she thought.

At some point she spotted a different zombie. He was an excellent actor. She couldn’t prevent staring at his walk as he approached her. Her lips twisted up when realizing that she actually 
found him cute, which she rationalized into the lack of open wounds in his costume.


When reaching her, he took her arm and said with a rough voice, “I was looking for you.”


“You were?” she replied with raised eyebrows.


“Yes.” He smiled rigidly, and Claire noticed his contact lens. They were the best she had seen so far, chilling even. Before she could control herself she smiled back.


Seeing this exchange, Silver smirked at Claire and let herself go with the mob. Claire rolled her eyes but grinned at her friend’s back. This is what she most liked about her friendship with Silver, very few words were needed.


The zombie guy woke her from her reverie by approaching for a kiss. She froze at the 
suddenness, made a minor effort to retreat but changed her mind.


What the heck, she thought, what do I have to lose?


When their lips met, she noticed that his were strangely cold. The kiss was deep and passionate, so she put the thought aside. Suddenly she wrinkled her nose at a putrid smell. Oh, no, this is too much dedication for me, she thought.


She tried to step back but he held her by the mouth. She grunted and pushed him away, which got her a deep cut in her lower lip.


“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”


The guy’s mouth fell, he mumbled something inaudible and stepped back. Then he licked her blood off his own lips and fled, leaving her gawking at the moaning crowd.


Frowning, Claire sped up towards the direction Silver had gone.


The next morning Claire felt a bit feverish. By the afternoon the flu was fully installed in her organism so she left her job early. At night, she could barely call Silver to take her to the hospital. Before dawn Claire was declared dead.


There was an interesting smell nearby she couldn’t identify or locate. She was laid, that she knew, and it was dark. Before she gathered her wits, a thundering sound followed by a cracking wood that let in the moonlight and strong arms, which carried her up, laying her in the cool grass.


“How do you feel?” she heard an oddly familiar voice asking.


Claire cleared her throat and frowned, “Now that you ask, I feel nothing. At all.”


“Good.”


“What? What’s going on?”


“We’ve met in a zombie walk, right?” asked the cute guy, “You’re a full zombie now.” He smiled a fetid smile.


With a loosely open mouth she accepted the mirror he was offering to see herself in grey skin and those well made contact lens.


“This is a prank right?”


“Oh, no, no-no.” He shook his head, still showing his once beautiful teeth, “We’re the real thing. Isn’t this cool?” He nodded as to encourage her. “I didn’t want this to happen so soon, but it’s better this way. You won’t feel pain, you won’t feel cold, you won’t even feel the grass prickling your skin.” He twisted his mouth and nodded again, seriously this time.


“How can this be cool? I’m dead!”


He leaned back, tense shoulders and confused eyes.


“Who said I didn’t want to feel anything?” She continued, being interrupted by a rumbling sound. “Well, apparently I can feel hunger.”


He smiled and releasing a sigh he happily deposited random body parts before her. They looked quite fresh, making Claire want to salivate despite the impossibility.


That’s the smell I was trying to identify! She thought with a mixture of exultation and disgust.


She looked up at him for assistance. Nodding encouragingly he gave her a female arm.
What the heck, she thought.

Note: The zombie pic I found here, along with many other good ones. ;)

Mother's Day - Twitter Chats Blog Tour

Welcome to the Twitter Chats Blog Tour, organized by Anne Tyler Lord at Don’t Fence Me In and by yours truly. ;) Today's theme is Mother's Day.

You'll be traveling with us through the blogs of some of the fantastic authors and writers who participate in our weekly -- funny, entertaining and educating -- Twitter chats. This tour will feature writers from #writechat, #litchat, and #fridayflash.

You will be directed to your next stop at the end of this post. Please feel welcome here, and have a happy Mother's Day!

~~~~~~~

Where Is Mom

Where's mom?

She's not here dear, but she'll be back by night.

I want my mom.

I know honey...

Why she's never here? Doesn't she love me?

Of course she loves you!

Then why is she never here?

Because she's working...

Why?

Well, people have to work to buy food, clothes, to keep a house.

These things.

Why

does she

have to work?

Why don't you go so she can stay with me?

Well...

Humph.

Will you be my mom instead?

Oh no, pumpkin, I can be your friend if you want, but I'm not your mother.

I want mommy...

Come here sweetie. Lie down on my lap.

I'll tell you a nice story while we wait for her to come back.

A story?

What kind of story?

An adventure, with magic swords and all!

I love magic swords! Can I have a hot cocoa too?

This once, ok?

Ok.

~~~~~~~

Thanks for stopping by! Your next stop for the Mother's Day Twitter Chats Blog Tour is Jon Strother, at Mad Utopia, who is the creator of one of the most prolific and supportive Twitter Chats, #FridayFlash. If you are on Twitter, it's worth checking it out!

Below you'll find the complete list of participants, in order of appearance. Have fun! :)

>> Anne Tyler Lord of Don't Fence Me In (co-host of Twitter Chats Blog Tour)

>> Mari Juniper of mari's randomities (co-host of Twitter Chats Blog Tour)

>> Jon Strother of Mad Utopia (creator of #FridayFlash)

>> Carolyn Burns Bass of Ovations, and also at the Red Room writing community (creator of #LitChat)

>> Marisa Birns of Out Of Order Alice

>> Jemi Fraser of Just Jemi

>> Deanna Schrayer of The Other Side of Deanna

>> Laura Eno of A Shift In Dimensions

>> Susan Gottfried of West Of Mars

>> Tony Noland of Landless

>> Kristi Thompson of How Did You Get There

>> Angie Capozello of Techtiggers' Soapbox

>> Donna Carrick of Writer's Craft

>> P.J. Kaiser of Inspired By Real Life

Note: I found this gorgeous picture that we used for the tour here.