Kids Say the Darndest Things - Mar. '13 Edition

Taken from the sidebar...

Brookelle: "My nose doesn't smell too well."
Me: "Why? Do you have a stuffy nose?"
Brookelle: "No. My nose is just turned off." 3/13

The Things He'll Do for [the love of] March Madness

Once upon a time my husband's Young Men's basketball team at church went all the way to the Region Tournament.  It was one of THE BEST times of his whole entire life.  He has NEVER forgotten that memory!  He never tires of talking about, thinking about, reliving with the boys "The Glory Days." 

{Matt #32 on the front row, far right}

So much so, that one year for Christmas several years ago, I gave him a "Church Ball" DVD that had all the old video taped footage of games on it.  He considers that one of his favorite gifts of all time.  (Until I gave him THIS gift.)

Welllll.....Because of his past experience, which created an extreme fondness for Church Ball, he's always  wanted to keep on playing it - he can't give it up - even today, 27 years later.  His biggest error of judgement, though, is NOT realizing (accepting?) he no longer is playing with his 14 yr. old legs & body!

Which leads us to a couple of weeks ago, when during a game, he jumped up for a rebound, and when he landed, he just fell to the ground in a crumpled heap.

Then he yelled out.

Everyone stopped, including me on the sidelines, and stared at him laying there on the court.

Then he started to pound the floor with his fist and chanted, "It's Bad!  It's Bad!"

The other guys reached out their hands to him to help him back up.

But, he informed them HE COULDN'T MOVE!

In the end, all those guys found one of the 6 ft. long folding tables at the church and transferred him onto that (amidst his yells of pain for them touching/moving his leg) and carried him out, Pallbearer Style, to my make shift Hearse (mini van with all the back seats removed or folded down into the floor.)

(Nice dinosaur-cell-phone pics)

We then spent the next couple of hours in the E.R.
{Complete with more yelling as they roughly handled his leg}
The E.R. was very familiar with Church Ball injuries - they all guessed correctly when they found out he'd been playing basketball that evening.

The Findings:  A Ruptured Patellar Tendon

They sent him home with his left leg in an immobilizing brace and pain killers, and instructions to contact our Orthopedic for necessary surgery (Who has a personal orthopedic?  Not us.)

Which led to Matt going under the knife four days later.

Pre-Op room at TOSH

Both Matt & the Surgeon had to each confirm & agree (with a written "yes") which leg would be cut open.

Can you tell that there's no "shape" to his knee?  The knee cap in floating up in his quad.

Miss B says Matt looks like "a Baker" with his required sterile head wear on!  ;)

It took him a [longer than expected time] to come out of the anesthesia.  When they finally allowed me into the Recovery Room, his eyes showed NO SIGN of recognition when I came into his view at his bedside!  And then the Effects lasted for a while..... 

I (the instructions were for "a responsible adult" - and he got ME) had to stay with him for the first 24 hrs. to monitor his state.

He was cold and requested the heater, and then he was hot and wanted the A/C.

He thought I was going up hills and down valleys on the ride home even though I was driving straight on the freeway.  

He said a lot of wacky things and asked all these questions that I finally just started replying, "Don't worry about it!" to him.  

At one point, he started playing his Japanese music through his SmartPhone and he held it up to his ear and was singing along (in Japanese) out loud.  

But, I think the funniest thing had to be when he was sitting in the La-Z-Boy and he, all of a sudden, says, "Do I have a THIRD nipple?" as he's feeling across his chest.  Then he lifted up his shirt and found this:

Apparently, the surgery team had failed to remove all the probes from his body before they released him!  ;)

Over the last couple of weeks, I've added another title to my duties:  Full-time Nurse.
I've been administering all his medication, (& documenting all his meds intake since I can't remember it all in my distracted brain), assisting with transfers, hooking up his ice machine, unhooking his ice machine, refilling his ice machine, aiding with bathing, toileting, dressing & grooming, chauffeuring, guiding him up & down stairs, calling the Dr. with reports of too much pain, calling my Pharmacist friend for advise on a better pain meds plan, calling the Dr. back with my suggestions for new meds - which they TOTALLY hate - and which makes Matt/me look like we are "addicts" asking for drugs, remove dressing wrap on knee (while wearing blue sterile gloves), perform infection inspection, re-bandaging his incision site, reposition for comfort, put on socks, take off socks, turn off the lights & tuck him into bed.

THUS the lack of New Posts to this Blog!

That first week, post-surgery, I felt like I had a newborn again, because I was setting my alarm to wake up every three hours to give meds, or take him to the bathroom, or change the ice.  And then when we or I tried to go anywhere, it took twice as long because I had to do a 10-point check list and get all our equipment before I was ready. 
Thank goodness we had people bring us in dinner the first several evenings since I had no time for that!!

It also happened to be the beginning of MARCH MADNESS, and since he had to be down anyway......he didn't miss a game!  Hmmmmm.....great timing!  Was this REALLY an "accident?" ;)   j/k.

He has to be in a straight-leg brace to immobilize his leg for 6 weeks, and then be in rehab for four months.

These days Matt can be seen wearing sport shorts or pants (the only clothes that work over the brace) and attractive panty hose (full-length compression socks), hobbling around on crutches.

He's come to reconsider if [Old Man's] Church Ball is even worth it.  What?!?  I never thought I'd hear him utter any such thing!  ;)

Where Did All the Lisa's and Jeff's Go?

I attended the "V.I.P. Breakfast" with Katelyn at her school last Friday. In reality, she totally thinks her dad is SO MUCH more of a "V.I.P." than I am, but he pretty much told her that she should take me since he goes to the "All Pro Dad's" breakfast with her practically every month, and I never have the opportunity to go....and besides, he was going to stay home and watch Miss B.  Reluctantly, she consented and we went together. ;)

As part of this event, we get to go to their classroom and see what it looks like.  She made sure to rush me while I was eating so we wouldn't miss out on the EXCITING part! 

She showed me where they kept their file boxes in her classroom, and I noticed that each one had a student's name on it.  I started scanning the names and I was kind of taken back that only FOUR names from MY school days are still being used in the current classroom:
Natalie
Brooke
Matthew
and
Ryan
(And incidentally, three of those four names are found in OUR family!  That's because Matt was adamant about naming our babies "normal" names.  His definition of "normal" just means names he was familiar with and had heard it in his own growing up life.)

But, by the look of things, WE are in the minority because the names filling the classrooms now are:
Crew
Finn
Harley
Denver

and

Bela
Ruby
Reese
Kennedy

Can you guess which ones are girls and which ones are boys?

The problem with this is that I can't ever remember these "unfamiliar" names, so I keep messing it up and saying the wrong name, usually I'm close on some level (first letter or category, etc.) when I'm talking to Katelyn about her classmates...

Crew becomes Craw
Finn becomes Fang
Harley becomes Hardy
Denver becomes Detroit
Bela becomes Buella
Ruby becomes Sapphire
Reese becomes Kit Kat
and
Kennedy becomes Reagan

Katelyn becomes so exasperated with my lack of brain power!

These days the getting-the-kids'-names-down part of school is more difficult than the Reading, Writing, Arithmetic part!  ;)

This Weekend:

* Started off with Brookelle swallowing a marble on accident.
It scared her pretty bad!
Weird that all of a sudden we're all interested 
and concerned with her pooping times & details.
As of today NO marble has been "recovered" yet!  
 
* I used a spa gift certificate I got for Christmas

for a 75 min. aromatherapy massage.  

I can tell I'm getting OLD

because it wasn't all nice & comfortable and relaxing 

like it has been in years past!

Sometimes I felt a bit of discomfort -- due to my

old tight, strained, stiff, stressed, spasming muscles!

* Went to Ryan's last regular season Basketball game.

Their opponent was last year's VHS Sophomore team.

Needless to say, they got SMOKED!  

The other team even started with one guy down, and they still led the entire game!

My hope was that they could just prevent a "total BLOW OUT."

 Meaning NOT letting the other team win by 30 points or more. 

They accomplished this!  yea!

* Watched "Love Story" on Netflix.  (Me, not Matt)

It is a 1970 romantic drama.

{the year of my birth}

Is it weird that I liked some of the clothes/coats

the actors wore?
  "Love means never having to say you're sorry" 
 is the famous line from the movie -- but I don't agree!

* Picked up my Bountiful Basket in the morning,

and Matt picked up one-fourth of a cow 

that we went in on.....except I think the meat packing co. 

neglected to give us about half our meat.  Aargh!

You'd think we're hoarding food, or something!  ;)

* Saturday jobs were supposed to be happening.

Instead there some sort of angry controversy that

climaxed with one [unnamed] child throwing a big-ish toy

at another child, who ducked, and instead

it hit the wall.  Our new house wall.

And caused a gash.  Lovely.

I called off the "Arctic Circle" reward run for

EVERYONE right then and there.

{Weeping & Wailing & Gnashing of teeth followed my announcement}

* Took an afternoon nap.

(I all of a sudden got super tired - probably because Ryan woke me up early

trying to figure out how to order tickets online to the 

Musical at his High School that he was planning on taking a date to.)

The fact that Ryan woke up early on his own proves he really wanted to go!  ;)

* Had some good laughs with this YouTube video that

Ryan went around showing the [older people in our] family:

* Went to the Bountiful Temple.

We decided to go this afternoon/evening since 

Matt's mom was working/volunteering in the

Temple at that time.  We [finally] ate dinner in the 

cafeteria downstairs.  We kept saying we should do

that sometime, but never had -- 'til now.

* I got all cozy & comfy in my jammies and got into bed

while Matt & I were reading/watching T.V./playing on our iPads,

when Ryan called and asked if he and his date and the other

couple could come "hang out" at our home.  

They must've been just out on the corner, because they

all walked in the house just a few minutes later....

and I was still hiding in my bedroom because of my lack of proper

state of being dressed.

Then I started to worry about what they could snack on, 

so I threw my clothes & bra back on, raided Matt's chocolate

stash and went down to deliver the treats & meet the kids.

{She was a very cute girl!}

* Sunday:  Daylight Savings Time Begins -

which made it hard for others to get up in

our family, so I got first dibs on the shower - 

and HOT water the whole time!  ;)

* We saw this video clip in Young Women's class at church.  

I had tears running down my face almost the whole time!

Only through the Power of the Atonement, literally

borrowing power from Christ, who already suffered for us,

could anyone of us go through something like this.

* Had two meetings after church....

didn't get home 'til late afternoon.

(No time for a Sunday nap - good thing I got it on Saturday!)

* Made Slow-Cooked Pork Roast 

w/ potatoes, onions, & carrots for dinner.
(Odd considering I have all that beef in my freezer?)

* Katelyn made [box] brownies for dessert.

* Started a good new John Grisham book.

(I can tell even though I'm only on pg. 55)

 

(I've read all his books.  I REALLY like them!)

CONGRATULATIONS! You Just Made the Blog.

Brookelle....

 

I guess her ears were cold and she couldn't find her own ear muffs?

OR  

She wanted to ride her scooter and desired good head protection?

Other "Cameos" by my children donning lingerie that has earned them this honor (15 minutes of fame on The Blog).

Here

and

Here

March "Healthy Lifestyle" New Thing

Confession:  I totally sucked at the weight training thang for February.  I can count on one hand how many times I lifted - pathetic!  I don't know what the deal is, but I couldn't get it going!

So, I'll keep working on that.

BUT, for March......I'm adding:  getting my GREENS.  And oranges.  And reds.  And purples.  And yellows.

 

5-A-DAY is my goal.

So I've been getting that bag of baby carrots and that bowl of pomegranate arils out on the counter when I'm working in the kitchen.....because whatever is out; whether it be m & m's or ready-to-eat produce, I will snack on it - without even hardly noticing.

And to kick things off, I signed up for my "Bountiful Basket" last Saturday, and I've got another one coming this Saturday.  Have you heard of this?  It's a food co-op; Equal parts fruits & vegetables, all for just $15.00.  That's way less than what I would spend at the store if I bought all the same things.

  

My kids were especially "happy" about this change I'm going through, too, because I served TWO different vegetable dishes for dinner on Sunday.  AND imagine their SHOCK (panic attack?) when they saw the menu for Monday:

This is what Butternut Squash Soup REALLY looks like:

 

This is what the kids saw:

 Katelyn was bravest and was the first to try....and when she put the spoon in her mouth.....she exclaimed, "YUM!"  See?  Just try things.

They really squawked at the toasted pumpkin seeds I provided to garnish the top with, also!  BUT then they tried them.....and they are GOOD - like sunflower seeds!  (I think I'll go have some now, they're sounding good!)

I'll change my kids one Butternut Squash soup dinner at a time!

Except, recently, for after-school-snack, I had both carrots and Reese's PB cup cookies out on the counter for them.....and they all went straight to the cookies!  In fact, Kyle had 5 COOKIES in a row - in the 15 min. time period between when he got home from school and before he left for piano lessons - leaving just ONE each for the rest of the family, but somehow none were remaining for Matt when he got home.  :-(

They like my smoothies, though, and I hide lots of different servings in those!

Now y'all don't want to come over for dinner anymore, huh?!?  :)

 

5th Grade Rite of Passage

A couple of weeks ago, Haylee brought home the permission slip for the Maturation Program at school.

When did she grow up?

I guess in my mind, because she is SO LITTLE (Just 50" tall and 57 lbs. at [almost] age 11) she is STILL a little girl.  AND the fact that her doll house still gets so much playing time from her.  AND that she loves for me to read her children's storybooks still.  AND that she always wants to lay her head on my lap in church and have me scratch/tickle her back and run my fingers through her hair - sometimes she even falls asleep while I'm doing this - although she INSISTS she doesn't ever need naps!  :)  AND that, due to her lingering speech impairment, she sounds like a little girl when she talks.  AND she has NOT caught "Bieber Fever" - there's no interest in pop stars at all, really - she doesn't even know most their names!

BUT, then there's the [practically daily] lashing out, the slamming of doors, the stomping around, the ripping drawers off their track because she yanks them open with such force, the screaming, the crying, the angry contortions her face makes, with the vicious look in her eyes......and then I'm reminded:  She is, in fact, closer to her teen years than she is to her young child years now.  

Matt already did the Maturation Program with Ryan and Kyle six and three years ago, respectively.......WHAT THE WHAT?!?  It's been that long since my first babies attended the BIG MEETING?!?

I'm forty-two years old, this shouldn't surprise me.  But it does.

Maybe it's because I can still vividly remember my own maturation program from elementary school.  I was just there, too, wasn't I?  Or maybe I remember it so well because of the bit of traumatic factor surrounding it.

The nurse who gave the presentation THIS YEAR to Haylee's class did a great job.  She explained that even a generation or two ago, these kind of things were not talked about, which made it feel scary or bad.  I totally agreed with her comment.

Back in my day, I didn't even know anything about a maturation program existing - no one ever told me - until I got the note announcing it.  At that time, other 5th Graders told me what it was, so then I was really nervous to give the note to my mom - and when I did, we never talked about it, at all.  In fact, I didn't even know if she was going to come for sure or not because we didn't even talk about that.  I remember on "the big day," the secretary from the office called into our classroom's P.A. system announcing it was time for all the girls to go down to the Multi-Purpose room.  As we got up to walk out, all the boys in our class started their snickering and disrespectful snorts at us - which made us feel even more stupid!  (Back in those days, the boys had their meeting in the evening with their dads, so the boys stayed in class.)   I was so anxious on the walk to the Multi-Purpose room because I wasn't sure my mom would even be there - she'd said nothing about coming.....so did that mean she was coming or she wasn't coming???  I didn't know, but I thought it meant she wasn't.  If she wasn't there, I was so worried about having to sit alone while everyone else was with their mom.  IMAGINE MY RELIEF when I walked in and saw my mom there!  WHEW!!!  My mom asked me afterwards, "Do you have any questions?"  I immediately [rep]lied, "NO!"  And that was that.

Afterwards, I got my first, very own stick of deodorant.  How "grown up!"  They didn't give that to Haylee - what a rip off!  ;)  Budget cuts???

Before the program, I'd already told Haylee all the body changes we would probably talk about (hair growth, hip & chest curvy-ness, growing taller, sweating problems, periods, zits...maybe even braces) and she informed me she thought it was all gross and she didn't want to do any of it.

Well, guess what?!?  You don't have a choice, sweetie!  It's inevitable.   Aaaaaaaaaauuhhh!

At the actual meeting, they talked about all that and more....because, honestly, I didn't take the time to read the School District program overview ahead of time.  They talked about the whole reason the body is changing is to prepare itself to have babies; for pregnancy, delivery, and nursing.  BUT JUST BECAUSE the physical body is capable DOES NOT MEAN girls are ready to have babies.  I thought that was great!  They also showed a slide of an Encyclopedia-type diagram of a side view of male anatomy, so girls would know the difference.  They closed with a video that showed a fast series of shots of a [ordinary] girl who went into a photo shoot and was "transformed" with the aid of all these make up artists and hair stylists working on her.  And then they showed the photo shop process to get the "end product" which looked ENTIRELY different from the first girl.....really couldn't even see a resemblance!  The nurse talked about how the photo that made it up on the billboard was a FAKE PERSON!   And that we should never compare ourselves to those airbrushed photos.  Fantastic!

Afterwards, we stayed in the car, with a bag of Nutter Butter snacks, and talked about the meeting more.

 

(I know the way to Haylee's heart! I know how to get her attention!) 

I asked her if she had any questions....
Turns out she had NO CLUE what the photo shop/model video meant or that that kind of thing was even happening.  See what I mean?  Little girl.

I had to hold back my giggling at the next thing she brought up.  She asked, with the "yuck factor" tone of voice, "Why did they have to show us the boy parts?"  She said she already knew the difference and she didn't want to see the picture!

I told her that I think she is many years away from most of those body changes to happen to her (because she is living in a 7 yr. old body still)  She is OVERJOYED at my "prediction."

She decided she wants to start wearing deodorant when she starts her 6th Grade school year.

The last thing she said she wanted to talk about, with a mouthful of Nutter Butters, was BOOBS.  She said she was freaked out over the slide that depicted all the different stages of breast growth, from "chocolate chip" to "watermelon" size.  I told her it is a fact of life, but everybody is different.  To which she replied, I really hope I have small ones!
(I just smiled and refrained from commenting on what I was really thinking:  Your future husband is hoping for the exact opposite, Girl!)
;)