Inquiring Minds Want to Know ;)

7 yr. old Brookelle was feeling a bit under-the-weather, so she spent the good part of the day lying down in our bed - because she says we have the most comfy bed in the house (AND the fact that there's a T.V. in our room doesn't hurt, either, I bet! ;))
ANYWAY, she was just takin' it easy on our bed.

Then she started rearranging the pillows on our bed and she picked up one of our throw pillows, and looked at it.
Then she looked at it longer.
Then she turned it over and looked at the other side.
Then she wrinkled up her eyebrows and stared at it some more.

This is the pillow that we have on our bed that was in question:

 

FINALLY, she declared, "I don't get it!" 

I, seeing what pillow she was examining, played oblivious (she IS only 7 yrs. old!) and asked, "What?!?  It's a pillow." 
She replied, "I know.  But, I don't get it!"
Me: "It's a pillow with words on it.  Can you read it?"
B:  "Yes.  'Tonight.' (then turns it over) and 'Not Tonight'."  Why's THAT written on a pillow?  What does it mean?" 

At this point, some of her older siblings were in the room witnessing this and they start giggling, and getting a real kick out of the situation.  Then they start saying things like, "You'll find out when you're older" or "You don't need to know yet"....which only makes Brookelle more frustrated. 

Then Brookelle demands/half-whines [in her sickly state], "Tell me what it is!" 
So, then Matt explains, "When the pillow is on the 'Tonight' side, mom wants me to kiss her.  If it's on the 'Not Tonight' side, then I shouldn't kiss mom."
B: "What does it REALLY mean?"
Everyone: "That's what it means!"
B: "I still don't get it.  Because WHY would mom EVER put it on the 'Not Tonight' side?"
Matt: "My sentiments EXACTLY!"  

;)  

The Frivolous, the Frugal, the Wise-Stewards, and the Clueless

It's that time again....
I have an 8th grader this year, and it's October...

So, it's time for:

I blogged about this 6 years ago, too, when it was my oldest's (and my) first experience with Reality Town.  I decided to volunteer at it whenever I have a child in the 8th grade - so, I volunteered 3 years ago with Kyle, too, but sadly, there's no blog post to reference.  I did it again yesterday for Haylee, as well.

 

Reality Town is a program that provides students with a hands-on simulation in which they make lifestyle and budget decisions, as they take on careers, salaries, families and associated responsibilities of the adult world.

Students come to Reality Town dressed up and are given a career and salary based on their current GPA. They are also given a "life scenario" with a family situation and the assignment to pay all the bills of the month. They are expected to live within the means of their monthly income.

At the end of Reality Town, students [are suppose to] reflect on the experience. Did they save or lose money? Is this how they'd really live? How does education correlate with income? This program is a great way to teach students the importance of how the choices they make NOW can affect them LATER.  It also gives them hands on skills in budgeting, math skills (although they let them use calculators), and determining priorities.  Six years ago, the students actually practiced the skill of check writing to pay for their expenses, but now they just "pretend" they did or use their "invisible debit card" and jot down the expense in their ledger and keep a running balance. (This is not offered at all schools, we are really lucky to have this program at ours.)

If they run out of money, they have to go to "Financial Counseling" or visit the "Supplemental Income" booth where they can get a part-time job that would realistically work with their current schedule.  They can also join the military (and get some more income), but at this Reality Town, they had the military people all doing MANY push-ups at one end of the gym to make it [kinda] the real deal.

That "Just my Luck" booth you can see in the background was required for them to visit.  They spun a wheel, and a scenario came up; got a flat tire, furnace broke, someone gets sick, get an inheritance check, drop your cell phone in the toilet, get in a car accident, etc. that they were face with - just like real life!

Haylee's career was a Music Therapist.  (What?  How did THAT happen when she doesn't even practice her piano???)  Her "spouse" did not have a job because he was a disabled veteran with one leg.  They only get a couple hundred dollars from the Army due to his disability status. (tough luck!)  They have two children; an 8 yr. old and a toddler.  It was super fun for her....until she started to get stressed with everything she had to buy on her finite income.  ;)  Ya gotta love the reality checks!

I worked at the "Property Taxes" booth in this years' Reality Town.  They had to buy their housing first, then come to me and we figured out what they would owe in property tax based on their house/condo/trailer/apartment/parents' basement.  (The higher the value of their housing, the higher their property taxes).
We weren't very far into the experience when I notice one guy was already lying down on the park bench that was set up in the middle of the "town."  We joked that he's already decided to be homeless and bypass the cost of housing and associated taxes!  ;)
These "adults" who came to me and were renting apartments or who lived in their parents basements did NOT owe anything in property taxes - when I told them that, they'd first be surprised, but then acted pretty glad about that little fact.  But, then I informed them the reason WHY was because they didn't OWN it.  And then they didn't look so thrilled anymore.  ;)

Here's the "consumers" who I interacted with:

The Frivolous
I honestly was surprised that we didn't have more "adults" buying THE BIGGEST/NICEST/MOST EXPENSIVE house that was offered.  I think I only had ONE person who bought it, but there was another "Tax Agent" at my table who was also helping, so she may have had some, too? 
But, we still did have some who were buying too much house for their income.  Towards the end of the "experience," I did have some come back to me to get a "tax adjustment credit" because they had ended up downgrading their house after their account got into the negative with all their other bills.  By doing so, they were able to get $25-40 back as their taxes went down, as well.  Although, when one "man" left my table, he was still a few hundred dollars in the negative, so he still had some shaving of expenses to do.  Good luck with that, Sir.  ;)

The Frugal
I had two different "men" come to me, who were both "well-to-do." 
The "Engineer" had only bought himself a trailer house, which only cost him $25 in property taxes.  As I looked at his income, I was a bit perplexed, and then I said to him, "Did you get the trailer, so you could have a lot of money leftover?"  He just gave me the "you got it!" smirk. 
*Sidenote:  this is the same boy who kept raising his hand to ask Matt questions last year, when he came to Haylee's class to speak on "Career Day."  One of the most entertaining questions was, "So, if I get a hold of any checks, can I just start writing them for stuff?"   He was also asking questions about what "robbery safeguards" are in place at financial institutions!  ;)  This boy's thinking about HOW to get money!!*

The "Orthopedic Surgeon" didn't even buy a house - he was in an apartment - which resulted in $0 property taxes.  He was beaming when he heard that news!  I questioned his decision (he's my neighbor, so I can razz him, right?) and he said he just wanted to be close to the hospital so he can make it to the emergencies in a timely manner - AND SAVE all that extra money!

The Wise-Stewards
There were a few "adults" who came back to visit me towards the end, after they had paid all the necessary bills, and realized they had money left over.  They discovered they really could've bought a bigger house, they just didn't want to "chance it" at first. 
So, one "consumer" decided to move out of his parents' basement and buy a 20 yr. old 3 BD/2BA house.  (SMART choice!)  So, he now had to pay property taxes....but he says it's totally worth it!
Another "consumer" was able to ditch his original trailer house to a 20 yr. old house, as well.  He said that was a relief!
And, another, who was feeling pretty rich, upgraded from his 20 yr. old house to a 5 yr. old 3BD/2.5BA house.

Now, I asked them (using my "motherly wisdom") if they were sure they didn't need to use their money for something else.  They said they didn't. 
What about your donations?  I asked them. 
Already donated. they replied.
What about your Savings?  I countered. 
Already got a bunch in Savings. they informed me. 
What about sending your wife to the Spa. I reminded them.
Done.  they said. 
OK, then, I guess you've managed just wonderfully!

The Clueless
There were A LOT (too many!) who opted to live in their parents' basements.  It was the lowest housing option available, after all.
Why were they choosing this?
In this Reality Town experience, $500/month rent was charged for living in your parents' basement (and $0 property taxes), but I don't think that reflects reality.  In reality (and the other volunteers there around me were all discussing this, and have made the same observation), I think "mooching" is what is happening more frequently than rent paying is!
Anyway, in Reality Town, they could've had their OWN place to live for just $150 more per month.  THAT'S TOTALLY WORTH IT!
I asked several of the "adults" if it was OKAY with their parents if they lived with them.  They all said, "YES!" without even thinking about it.
 
(Ha!  They're clueless!  Unless parents, these days, don't want their children to grow up and be responsible!??)

One of the living-in-your-parents'-basement "women" is actually in my ward.  She assured me it would be OK with her parents.  So I told her she better do all the cooking, clean the toilets, mow the lawn, and wash their cars.  She said she was paying rent, so she didn't need to.  ;)  haha.  (see what I mean by clueless!)
I texted her mom (my friend) afterwards:  "FYI, your daughter's planning on living in YOUR basement with her family.  haha."
To which she texted back, "Haaaaa is RIGHT....I don't think so!  I guess we're making life a little too cooshie for her.  I need to crack the whip." 
I'm thinking she better make other plans.  ;)

So, if you're in the market for a Music Therapist in the future, give Haylee a call - her bank account will thank you!  ;)

(And it will keep her out of my basement!)

Lessons learned at the Kitchen Stove

With the start of a new school year, and a new work schedule (all day) for me, I instituted a new "dinner plan."
That plan involves other people than just me making dinner.  Brilliant, eh?
I'm not available in the days to do all the dinner planning/prepping like I used to be PLUS it's time for my children to discard the phrase, "I don't know how to cook" from their vocabulary!
So, Kyle has Mondays.
Haylee has Tuesdays.
Katelyn has Wednesdays.

And I'll do the rest of the days.  EXCEPT, according to this article, my husband should be doing Sundays. ;)

There were also some "rules."

1. It has to be a REAL meal.  (Ramen, Mac & Cheese, and Spaghetti-O's or anything like unto these are excluded!)
2. They cannot repeat the same meal within the same month.
3. It has to include a vegetable and/or fruit, plus be a balanced meal (with a protein and a grain.)

 Here's how things went the first week:

Kyle wondered why it took him 2 1/2 hrs. to make dinner!
He learned that he shouldn't leave the kitchen multiple times in the middle of making dinner - especially when he has put butter in a saucepan to melt!  ;)
He also learned it will go a lot quicker if he cut up all the vegetables and cooked/diced the meat BEFORE he started cooking!

Haylee wondered how in the world we could stand eating all the pancakes she'd made WITHOUT any syrup!
She learned that she should probably take inventory of ALL the ingredients (including condiments) she will need for her dinner and, if we don't have them in our pantry, she should write them on a shopping list BEFORE mom went shopping a few days prior.
(Luckily, mom knows how to whip up homemade syrup, and saved the dinner).  ;)

Katelyn wondered why her entree did not yield as large of a quantity as it usually does (like when mom makes it) and worried there wasn't enough for everyone to feel satisfied.
She learned that she should follow the instructions on the size of pan that the recipe says should be used and add ALL the ingredients that were cut and measured ahead of time.  (She used a smaller pan and everything wouldn't fit in it, so she just filled it and then left out the excess ingredients).  ;)

{Hopefully, they all become more proficient, with time!}  :)

This first week, I had to answer a lot of questions and assist with various tasks, when asked, so I actually had to be available or present - but I did not take it over for them when they struggled; I wanted them to be "in charge."  My vision is that one day, they'll all be able to function in the kitchen like a well-oiled machine, and I could walk away from the kitchen or our home, and everything would run normally without a hitch and they would pull off dinner with success!

{In other words, I hope to "work myself out of my [cook] job."}

Five Words

One of the main things I took away from the "Queen of the Kingdom" conference last weekend was about WORDS.

Words are so important.

Right from the beginning of the conference, our presenter/mentor wanted us to write down just three words on our name tag that we wanted to be....it was just to get our mind starting to think in that direction.
There's so many words - and we could choose ANY of the hundreds of thousands that exist in our English language EXCEPT we were not allowed to choose "uptight," "rigid," or "controlling."  ;)  Those were words that had she had drawn the "no symbol" (ya know that red circle with a diagonal line through it?) on her giant post-it paper pad up front, because those traits ruin our femininity and are not characteristics of a "queen."

Later, we practiced saying general declarations that were written in our class book, out loud, with the group, to get us used to saying positive words about ourselves.
We even got to "play with" (draw from it's sheath and raise above our heads) a Gandalf-esque sword

while declaring, "I am a goddess of truth and light!"  Having a sword makes a difference, I tell ya!  (you should try it!)  It gives you the feeling that you've got power.  Like what you are saying is official, holds some clout!  ;)

Anyway, those were just some of the activities (there were many others) we did throughout the conference to get us in the frame of mind to choose words for ourself. 

By the end of the weekend, I chose five words.

Calm

Compassionate

Healthy

Energetic

Delightful

When I am going about my day; when I am wiping down the kitchen counters, while I put away clothes, when I'm on the phone with a not-so-happy customer at work.... I repeat this phrase to myself.  "I am a calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic, delightful woman."  I have been saying it daily (sometimes multiple times).  My plan is to keep saying it a lot. 
When I don't feel like getting up early in the morning to go out exercising, I say it in my mind. 
When I look in the mirror, and I think, "bleh," I say it in my mind. 
The other day, when I was leaving the check out at Costco after I'd just purchased a large amount of items (who doesn't have a large amount of items when they go to Costco?) and had had some problems that came up while checking out, I heard the cashier greet his next customer after me, "How are you today?"  And I heard her reply loudly-enough-so-that-I-could hear, "Well, I was fine until I got in line behind that lady!"  I repeated my words (with emphasis on calm, compassionate, and delightful!) in my mind over and over and over the whole way out of the store, through the parking lot, while unloading all my stuff (that caused a long check out), and even after I got into the car!!  ;)
When I got really upset at home (no!) towards a particular person (who shall remain nameless) and situation, I said this phrase in my mind all evening!

I didn't choose the words calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic, and delightful because that's what I believe I am....I chose them because I struggle to believe those things about myself.  And I can tell you, the more I have repeated that in my mind, the more calm, compassionate, healthy, energetic and delightful I have been able to feel in that moment.  Can it be that I am starting to believe them more?  It gives me strength to do things I might otherwise not have done.

These words can. change. me.
(Because that was another mantra of the conference, "For things to change, I must change.")

Just five words - out of thousands.

(Though, as I write this, it’s past meal time and I don't have any plans to make it and I let a stream of complaints and general disgruntlement flow out of my mouth earlier.  And there's the fact that I still haven't gotten around to doing some of our "SBL" outings this summer.  And when my son reminded me for the third (+) time that he STILL needs new soccer cleats due to his first game being in just 2 1/2 weeks, and my youngest [unedited] daughter asks why I have all those "red dots" on my chin…  I should have responded, “Because I’m HEALTHY…and ENERGETIC…and DELIGHTFUL…”)

So......

What are your words?

Miscues, Misunderstandings, and Mistakes

I just spent my weekend at Queen of the Kingdom with about 400 other women.
It is a training/learning opportunity and women's conference by the company, 3 Key Elements.

But, in addition to being trained all weekend, there were some funny/embarrassing/baffling parts of the weekend, too.  :)

#1  For one activity, words to a song were passed out, and we sang together.  It was a song that I was not familiar with, had never heard.  The title is, "Princess" as sung by Galen Crew.  In the song, there's a sentence where the lyrics pause....pause...pause while music is playing softly, then the final words of the sentence are sung after the pause.
So, here's my disclaimer: if you didn't know the song (like I didn't) and were only looking at the printed words on our paper, you might not get the tune/tempo/timing right, at first. 
As we were all standing and singing as a group, the leader/mentor (who was wired with a mike) was walking through the crowd, and would touch our arm, signaling she wanted us to sing with her (and louder?!)  Well, she came up to me, and at that moment, it happened to be that one part of the song with the pause!  So, I'm all singing with her (kinda louder than I had been) and I totally jumped the gun on those lyrics that were suppose to come AFTER the pause, and I sang out strong (near her mike) during the pause!  Woops!  It was heard by many!  AND the thing is; my premature entrance on my singing caused her to follow and sing at the wrong time, too!  hahaha.

#2  For another activity, we walked around the room and mingled with as many other women as we could in a designated period of time.  We were suppose to go up to someone and say, "What do you see in me?"  And then, they were suppose to just look at us, and go with their feelings/intuition and say the first word that came to their mind.  We would then switch roles, and the other person would ask us the same question, and we would tell them what we "saw."  We were suppose to write down what everyone said, so that at the end, we had a whole list of attributes about us.
So, I'm going along doing the activity, and had already talked to many when I come to a new [younger] woman and I asked, "What do you see in me?"
And she replied, "Dumb S_ _ _"
Taken back, I asked, "Pardon?"
"Dumb S_ _ _," she said again.
By now I'm thinking, Is she REALLY saying that about me?  Or is this the new "compliment" amongst the younger crowd these days?
But, just to be sure, I repeated back to her, "Did you say 'dumb s_ _ _?'"
And she said, "NO. Dumb s_ _ _."
Well, I was relieved she said, "No" but I was still hearing the same word that followed.
She must've seen my perplexed face because then she repeated it more slowly so I could understand this time, "Gumption."
"Oh, gumption!?!" I responded.
"Yes," she answered.
Whew!  I'll take it!  Following what I'd just thought I heard, that was the best word ever!  Gumption: initiative, resourcefulness, ingenuity, sense, backbone, courage, spunk.

#3 On one of our breaks, I had to go to the bathroom, and so I headed to it.  There was another lady entering the bathroom ahead of me, and the door was closed about half-way when I reached it, so I pushed it open so I could go in after her.  The lady turned and stood in front of the door opening and blocked me from going any further.
"This is a one-person bathroom," she informed me.
Huh?!?  How many bathrooms don't have multiple stalls these days?  I just assumed......
Well, you know what they say about assuming.....
As soon as I realized what was going on, I apologized profusely.  Poor lady.....she probably thought I wanted to "share" in her using the facilities experience that day - which I totally didn't!

Oh, dear.  Just a sampling of the cringeworthy things that happen to me on a regular basis!  ;)

The "Calm, Cool, and Collected" Alternative

The other night at Cub Scout Pack Meeting, I saw a tremendous example of parenting/handling a "Spirited Child." ;)  (i.e. fiery, hyper, nervy, catch my drift?)  In the moment, it made me go, "Wow!"  Since then, it has left me thinking about it a lot - I want to be more like her.

There is a boy who attends our cub scout pack meetings (and used to be in my specific den for a short time) who, admittedly, I have kind of tagged as, "difficult."  He happened to be in my daughter's school class, as well, and she says that the teacher/students also have similar impressions of him.  I know, we shouldn't "label."  I have witnessed several things that have influenced my feelings... 
I have seen him throwing temper tantrums to get his way. 
I have observed how he acts with other kids; pushy, aggressive, obnoxious, reckless.
One time, in a different pack meeting, when another boy was being "spotlighted," this particular cub scout stood up and loudly verbalized his disagreement with an accomplishment that had been shared about the spotlighted boy.  During his protest, he was pointing at the kid, face turning red, and then told how he himself was better than the spotlighted boy.  (It was one of those times where I was sitting there thinking, "Oh my word, is THIS really happening?")  
At school, my daughter says how he has these moments where "he's about to explode" and the kids are always trying to do "damage control" to stop or get out of these situations when they're happening.
I know!  Labeling is a no-no.  This is what happens when you're a perceptive, discerning, people-watcher like myself!  I put all the pieces together and come up with a description.  I need a change of attitude; to always think THE BEST of everyone.  But, if the shoe fits..... 

Anyway, back to the pack meeting the other night.  Recently, the cub scout program has all changed.  Our cub committee chairman (who happens to be the above mentioned boy's mother) was standing up front explaining, in an optimistic, enthusiastic way, some of the changes, including the pins that the Webelos scouts earn for finishing their requirements now.  This boy piped up and loudly "informed" us all that the old pins were way cooler than the new pins; that the new pins were, in fact, lame!  He also broadcast in his know-it-all voice that the whole old program, in general, is better than the new one and because of that, he is going to do the old program, still. (implying that anyone who pursues the new program is dumb!) 

When this happened, I got all concerned that the other scouts, especially the younger ones, were going to be swayed by his negative words and not be satisfied with, or worse, despise cub scouts going forward.  
I wanted to put my hand over his mouth so he couldn't say anything else and cause any more wreckage.  
I, instinctively, thought a reprimanding for his public [mis]behavior was in order, as well.  
I wished we could "rewind" that incident and strike it from that Pack Meeting record.

That's because my impulses precede my "calm, cool, & collected" abilities.  (IF I have any!)

But, luckily, our cub committee chairman and his mother has honed her skills in dealing with him.  She calmly waited until he was done with his rant, then she "educated" him.  She plainly stated, "OK, that is an opinion."  And it was HIS opinion.  And other's may have and are welcome to their own opinion; and that the others may really like the new pins, and even think they're, in fact, cooler.  She pointed out that he is very "loyal" to the old program and we can work on becoming more "loyal" to the new program.  

That immediately shushed him.

And then she continued her explanation (because she was interrupted by him before) of some of the details regarding the new pins, including a new feature and symbolism of them which were special and exclusive to the new program.  

To which her son (apparently having "seen the light" now) asked, "Can I get those?"

To which she answered, "No.  You are staying with the old program, remember?"  ;)  hahaha.

ANYWAY, I thought that was so notable!  When my children (or someone else) are argumentative, or opposing, or dispute everything I say, or speaks against whatever it is, INSTEAD OF basically telling them to "keep their trap shut," I can simply point out that what they are saying is "an opinion."
Because it is.  That's ALL it is.  And opinions are not right or wrong.  I like that approach for dealing with the "difficult."  I'm grateful for examples I have out there, and the lesson I learned that evening.

OK.  Practice:
"That is an opinion."
"That is your opinion."   
"Others may have a different opinion."
"That is an opinion."
That is your opinion."
"Others may have a different opinion."
"That is an opinion."

Did you know you have to hear/see/repeat something 7 times before you remember it?!?  ;) 

The Day of Awakening

You gotta get through 18 3/4 years of the [back breaking, heart aching, mind going crazy, blue-in-the-face] daily grind FIRST, but it finally comes.....it's the day when your child realizes AND admits JUST HOW GOOD HE HAS IT!  (and always has had it.)

We got this letter from our missionary son, Ryan, this week:

The letter was partially spurred on by him receiving some family photos we had taken before he left on his mission this summer.  They finally came back from the photographer, so I sent them to him in a little album:

We were kind of surprised to have our letter addressed to us in such a way, "My Eternal Forever Family" - such an upgrade from the usual, "The Brenchley's."  ;)

Then the content of the letter provided even bigger "revelations" to us:
"I am so grateful for what a great family I have!  The pics are just too precious!  Maybe it's the great color scheme or all our great smiles, but The Pictures just glows every time I look at it.  I took the album to church with me Sunday to show to some families and it got passed around to a couple of the other sisters in the ward.  Everyone who saw it was all, "Oh, what a Beautiful family you have!"  The other missionaries around the house were all commenting how much younger my family was.  (They're just jealous because their family grew up and isn't as cute as my family!)  I love you all so much.  You are all one of the main reasons I'm serving a mission.  I KNOW the happiness I have knowing my family can be together forever and I want nothing more than to share this message with others, and have them have the same Happiness I have!  I Love You all so much!"

(I think I want him to stay with this current group of missionaries who refer to us as the "YOUNG" family amongst the group!  ;)  In fact, when Ryan was telling his companion that his parents went on a 20th anniversary cruise, his companion pointed out that he's older than Ryan's parent's marriage!  His companion was born a few months before we were married....and he's the 4th child in his family to give ya an idea of the age difference in their parents!)


So, basically, now Ryan thinks we really are great!
(That's why we send them away!)  ;)
One child down, four to go!

The End of my YW Era

I got released from my church calling as 1st Counselor in the Young Womens' Presidency.

Siiiiggghhhhhhhhhh.

Such mixed emotions about all of this.

I've been serving in that position for going on 3 years now.

THREE!
That's 130 mutual activities, 75 meetings, Three Young Women in Excellence events, Three New Beginnings events, Three Girl's Camps (1 with my daughter, Haylee, in attendance!), three youth conference (attended one, helped/supported on the other two), a few culminating events and dinners for all the youth, dozens of hours on the phone and visiting homes, and on & on.....

I have come to love "my girls".  I thought about them and worried about them all the time.  I considered them an extension of my own children who live in my home with me.  Whenever I referred to them in conversation, I called them, "My young women....."

This calling, and each young woman, has been such a HUGE part of my life for the past few years.

I SO SO wanted each girl to have their testimonies strengthened during this very important & amazing time of THEIR life.   AND on various occasions, THEY shared an experience or scripture in class, or gave a talk in a meeting, or bore their testimony at camp & youth conference, and it strengthened MY testimony.

They will forever be apart of me.....I swear, when I am in my 80's, and if I run into one of them, I will hug them, then still call them, "my girl" (even thought they will be in their 50's!!!)

I am incredibly BLESSED to have had this opportunity!

I knew though...with serving for that amount of time...that this day would someday come.

Being in a Young Women's Presidency is A LOT of work.

It consumes MOST {if not ALL} of your extra time.

Mutual, lessons, firesides, Girls Camp, tending to the girls' needs, supporting the president & making sure she doesn't take on too much work....it is CONSTANT.
And, THAT SERVICE I gave is WHY I ended up loving them.....You LOVE who you SERVE!

And while I have {honestly} had some frustrations & heartbreak along the way (they are ATTACHED to their cell phones a little TOO MUCH!, they are, at times, persuaded by the ways of the world more than the church standards, and sometimes they chose not to join us in our mid-week & summer activities or at church on Sunday) but for the majority of the time, I LOVED it.....

I knew ahead of time I was being released.  My Bishop came to my home last week to extended a release - and thanked me profusely.  But, when it was officially announced in Sacrament meeting before the congregation, it became "official" to me - and I am sad.
I think I'll go into "mourning" - I can joke about that because I'll actually be gone for a couple of Sundays in July due to traveling....but it's kinda true.
I knew I'd be sad, but I also thought I would be relieved.  It was a LOT of work and there were so many other things on my plate that I could not keep up with for the life of me.

But man, I miss those girls already - more than I could have ever realized I would.  I'm thinking about them all individually and am going to write them all a letter letting them know of my feelings.  The relief I expected has not come yet.  It will take a little while to find peace with this big change in my life right now.

Good thing I sobbed my way through my final YW lesson -- NOT!  (little did I know, at the time, it was THE LAST)

I still need to pass off all my stuff to the new Young Women's 1st Counselor, but I might drag my feet a little bit - because maybe I won't be able to bear it?!?

I'll probably linger outside their classroom on Sundays and it'll feel so weird to send off Kyle and Haylee to their activities on Wednesday nights and not go, too.

Gradually I will start to feel how nice it is not to have to worry about all the logistics that went into every activity, every meeting, every group text, everything I was SUPPOSE TO be doing and couldn't quite get to.

Of course, other things will pile into my life and fill up every nook and cranny the Young Women things left behind (like getting Ryan ready to leave on his mission in 5 1/2 weeks!!), but oh, how grateful I am for that experience with those girls and I will always have a special spot in my heart for them and all the wonderful things I learned as their leader.

YES.......

Life goes on.

{We don't get to choose what church calling we will be given, but IF I COULD, I'd want to be the primary pianist for my next calling!  How could I NOT LOVE doing that?  Gosh, ANYTHING after being in the Young Women's presidency should seem like a walk in the park, right?  I would want the piano calling .....IF I could even play the piano well enough!!!  haha!  I don't know how to sight read!  Is that unusual?  I took piano lessons for 8 years - how long do you have to take to actually get good at it???  It maybe has something more to do with HOW MUCH I practiced - or how effectively/consistently I practiced (or didn't) during those years!!}

My faith is a HUGE part of who I am.

I thank my lucky stars each day for the knowledge of the Gospel that I have.

I look forward to what the future has in store for me now.

I hope you'll enjoy the ride with me!!

If You Hold It, They Will Come

"Money Friends" that is.

Matt is holding $10,000 in Cold. Hard. Cash. (all denominations of bills)

And I've got my hands on $20,000 (all Ben Franklins)

We spent the last 3 days at a "Royalty & Romance" couple's retreat where they taught us (among many concepts) that we have to have a healthy relationship with money.  Therefore, Ben Franklin is one of our "money friends."

The mentors speaking told us we needed to see the money and hold the money to be able to believe we can have it for real in our lives.

OK.  Will do!

Told You So

I have this little sign in my home:

It speaks the plain truth!

(Although no one wants to admit it!)

Case(s) in point:

• My two youngest daughters think it IS ABSURD that I tell them to put their shoes away, WHEN they take them off, in their closet, that it will make their life (& mine) so much easier.  (At least, I'm assuming they think it's absurd since they totally ignore my counsel on this matter.)     AND THEN, they frequently get to experience the mad dash, frantic searching, & whining/tears which comes from not being able to find their shoes - and often still produces no shoes - and results in being late to school, church, & dance lessons.
• Since Friday is "early out" from school and really the only day that works out to play with friends after school, I tell my oldest daughter that she should do all of her reading before school, so she is free to play after.  Well, apparently it's another absurd idea because it's much more fun to just hang around doing nothing before school!       AND THEN, she has this one friend who seriously calls to play THE MINUTE she walks in the door from school.  And guess what?!?  She can't play since her reading is not done.  This is followed by MUCH weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!
• My friend's daughter's basketball team had a couple players get injured and they were now short on players and asked about my daughter playing with them.  When I mentioned it to her, she protested, I don't want to play!  I told her it would be fun and she would be good - she's quite tall, after all.  Her sports lovin' older brother actually told her she didn't have a choice, that she WOULD play ball!  ;)  She went out in the garage to practice dribbling, and she tripped over some boards and fell down, so she shouted/cried at me, You should've never gotten me into this!  I told her not to trip on boards - there wouldn't be any on a real basketball court - and that she needs to try it and she would have a good time.     AND THEN, she did go play in the basketball game.  She was all smiles whenever she looked at us in the "stands" and beaming afterwards.  Her first words to me at the end of the game?  "I want to sign up to play basketball next year!!"
•  I tell my family to keep their elbows off the table.  They think I'm being too proper, that I'm obsessed with "old school" manners in our own home.     AND THEN, we average 9.2 spills a week.
• I function by the "A place for everything and everything in it's place" idea and like to tell my family members this quote. NO ONE else in my home buys into this.  Why would they?  It's SO MUCH easier to just drop things along the way without paying any attention.    AND THEN, *someone's* wallet is ALWAYS missing (along with all their money!) when they need to go somewhere with it.
• I've suggested an "after school routine" for my very distractable, can't-remember-what-she's-doing-when-she-walks-from-one-room-to-the-next daughter.  It goes like this:

4:00 Arrive Home

4-4:15 After school snack

4:15-4:30  ONE page of assigned homework

4:30-4:50 Practice piano

4:50-5:10 Read

So, by 5:15, she is DONE with EVERYTHING, and FREE to do whatever she wants until bedtime!!! 

She has chosen NOT to adhere to this whatsoever UP UNTIL last week (when we had to have a "duct tape intervention."  Meaning we took all 23 rolls away from her until she could go a week demonstrating responsibility & initiative.)  So, she follows the schedule, and she discovers what "free time" with no checking up from parents feels like - what a novel idea!!!  And she says to me, "This is so great!  Why haven't I been doing this all along?!?"

• But, probably THE BIGGEST "I told you so" incidences that's been on my mind [almost constantly] this week has something to do with the fact that after being a 3 car family for just a mere 5 1/2 weeks, we are back to being a 2 car family.  This is a result of our 3rd car now being deemed "undriveable" due to its extensive damage it has sustained by it's *driver* who was driving it in a way that was contrary to the ways I had always told them to drive!  Let alone, what really COULD HAVE happened to the *driver* if they weren't so lucky blessed to come out unharmed - at least physically!!!  But, what do I know?  I grew up in the 80's!  (*that person's* favorite line to say to me.)  As if "defensive driving" was ONLY applicable when I was in my youth!?!  

 Grrrrrr!
What do they say?  You learn 20% of what your hear, but 80% of what you experience.  You have to experience it to learn it.

And then it still comes back to this:

Can He Take the Hint(s)?

Here is my child, "Kylee"...er...uh...I mean, "Kyle."

 And this is how he has chosen to wear his hair lately.

 Much to my mom's and some adults from church disgust & disturbance.....

I don't say anything, unless I'm asked.  I just let his experiences tell him all he needs to know/learn.

*Although, I do have to slip in a joke when the situation presents itself; like when I got an email from the Jr. High saying that they were going to have a bunch of different themed days at school that week.   "Crazy Hair Day" was one of them.  I asked him if we was going to participate, and then followed it up real quickly with the comment, "Oh, you don't need to do anything.  You've got 'crazy hair' EVERY day!"  ;) 

So, these experiences started two months ago we were down in St. George for Thanksgiving and we (Matt, Ryan, Kyle, me, my brother & sister, their spouses, and my niece & nephews) all went to the St. George Temple together to do Baptisms for the Dead. 

When it was Kyle's turn, Matt was in the font with him, and he looked at the monitor to start reading the name of the person he was going to baptize Kyle for and he noticed that the Officiator had put a pink card of names up.  (Female names are printed on the pink cards, male names on blue cards).  Matt told him he needed to change the card.  The Officiator looked up from his desk and down into the font, and looked completely confused - and hesitant to follow Matt's suggestion.  He did doubtfully trade out the pink card for a blue card so all was right, although he couldn't figure out why Matt had made that request. 

Later, I took Kyle aside and said, "Just so you're aware......." and proceeded to explain to him that he was mistaken for a girl that day in the temple -- because of his hair!  And it was something to consider.
Well, he got pretty testy about that and argued, "Just because some 189 yr. old guy, who is CONFUSED and has BAD VISION, makes a mistake because he's OLD, you think I should cut my hair?!?"

Nope, I replied.  It's just something to consider.

*And just for the record, the temple worker was not even half that old!


THEN, fast forward just three weeks later......our youth group from church went to the Bountiful Temple together to do Baptisms again.  I was there, accompanying the group, including Ryan & Kyle, as an adult leader and was watching everyone get baptized. 

The names of the people they were doing the work for was from a foreign country, with some of the last names spelled with a t-s-z-j all in a row, and very hard to pronounce.  On the monitor at this temple, I could not tell the color of the card - they looked white to me.  So, it became Kyle's turn, and I noticed the first person he got baptized for was a "Maria" with one of those really tricky last names. 

I even leaned over to the girl next to me and said, "I guess in that foreign country, 'Maria' is a boy's name!"  And we smiled together. 

THEN the next name came on the monitor and it was "Julianna."  I started to think, What are the chances that this [girl name in America], too, is a boy name in their country?!? 

So, then I looked up and over the monitor and onto the desktop and saw that it was, indeed, a pink card that was being used!  At that point, I interjected out loud, "Are these girls' names?"

Again, all the workers looked back & forth between Kyle and the pink card.  And because he had actually been baptized [for a girl] already, his hair was wet and looked even longer in the back at that moment!
Some more baffled looks and mumblings about what was going on.  His brother, Ryan, was more than happy to blurt out, "He's a guy!"
And Kyle moaned, "Not again.  That's TWICE!"

They fixed it all, switched out the pink card for a blue card, and the rest of us ward members in there had to try SO HARD to control our giggles!  ;)

After that experience, the universal question people were asking was, "Is he getting the hint, yet?"

Well, he FINALLY did - after another month went by!

He claims it did not have anything to do with his "mistaken identity" but rather because it was too "high maintenance" of a hairstyle.  And it was.  He took a l-o-o-ong time to get it to flip up just so in the back, and to gel up the front.  I would be waiting for him to go somewhere, in the car out in the driveway, as he was in the bathroom doing his hair still! 

Tonight, he just asked me to cut it off!

{He's put that "precious memento" in a baggie and saved it!}

I've had tons of people come up to me and tell me HOW GOOD his hair looks, now!  Yep!

But, he says he's had mixed reactions at school. 
The boys are saying, "Dude, WHY did you cut off your mullet?" 
And the girls are telling him they like it!  ;) 
So, then he's having second thoughts.

To which I asked him, Who would you rather want to think you look good; the boys or the girls?

Oh....yeah....that makes sense, he realized, as my comment put things into perspective for him.

Resolutions Report

I know, I know.....January is already A THIRD of the way over and I haven't even made my New Year's Resolutions for 2014, yet!  What a slacker.  ;) 
I'm hesitant to do it.....and I think I know WHY.  It MAY have something to do with the fact that I already KNOW I wasn't even 100% on my last year's ones!
I wrote them on this blog o' mine, to hold myself accountable, so it's not like I could just "forget" about them ever existing!  {darn}

But, maybe I have to "close out" 2013 before I can move on to 2014???
So, here's the "Report."

1. Invite another couple to go out to dinner with us every month 
THIS one was suppose to be a FUN goal!  And it was......when we could get another couple to accept our invitation, that is!  ;)

THANKS FOR THE GOOD TIMES:

Page's

Sears'

Maxwell's

Knudsen's

Badham's

Lacy's

Waters'

Peterson's

Bryson's

Wood's

It actually turned out to be really tricky....and I hadn't expected it to be!  

At times, I had a High School Flashback - like I was getting turned down for dates, and all!  (Not that I asked too many people out on dates in H.S., but all those awkward/vulnerable/rejection/uneasy/wanting-to-be-accepted gumbo feelings are all related)  Matt, the eternal optimist, would try to tell me that people's schedules are just busy and it's hard to always match up with ours.  And, also, that a surprising number of couples are not even used to going out on weekly, or even monthly, dates.  I, on the other hand, assumed it meant that all these people who had excuses weren't able to go would rather poke needles in their eyes than go out with US!  (Is it ME?  Is it MATT?  Or is it the combination of the two of us?)  We take showers, and Matt wears cologne!!  (maybe THAT IS the issue? ;))
Report:  So, we actually were able to go out with another couple 11 out of the 12 months this year.  
BUT, I will confess; one month, we got invited - by relatives - and we "counted" it anyway.  The other month we missed, we happened to be at Station Park on the very last day, and we ran into some others we knew, and we sat together at an outdoor table to eat our treats, and talked for just a little while.....Matt thinks we should "count" that, too, and call it 100% accomplished!  
But, I'm more.....shall we say, "exact" in observing the rules, so if you ask me, I don't count either of those, and we only had 10 out of 12 for 83%.  
BUT, on the other hand, if you read the wording in the goal, it actually says TO INVITE another couple out, not actually TO GO (I just had the misconception that the two would go hand in hand).  So, looking at the goal LITERALLY, we WERE 100% in our inviting - even 110% - because sometimes we invited multiple couples before we got any takers.  So, YEA, check that one off, after all!?!

2. Get ready IN THE MORNING
I thought this one would be hard....and it was.
There is such a PULL for me to just hit the ground running in the morning to get things done - and getting ready just seems to get in the way of all that!  So, I really had to force myself to do this against my own natural urges.
Report:  I did this usually 5 out of 7 days (with Saturday frequently being the day I didn't)  So, I was about 71%.  Which is 5X better than it was before I started this goal! says Matt, the eternal optimist.  But, it's still not an instinctive habit.  {dang}

3. Write more on my blog
Even thought I really enjoy this one....it was hard to get it done!  There were too many days that had no blogging time in them. 
Report:  I had a frequency in my head, that I kept quiet - AND was super lofty, of how often I wanted to write on my blog.  Did I reach that number?  No.
BUT, again, if you read the wording in the goal, it actually says to write MORE.  So, looking at the goal LITERALLY (and the yearly count blogger so conveniently adds up for me) I did indeed write more than in 2012 and in 2011!  So, check it off?  Sure! says Matt, the eternal optimist.....or is that defined as a "short cutter?"  ;)   

4. Healthier Lifestyle
OK.....remember how I was going to introduce a new healthy thing per month and write on my blog about it?  Well, I did it in January, February, and March.....and then STOPPED!  Well, I stopped writing about it after March, and I stopped doing anything new one month later, in April.  I didn't even get to the "eat breakfast" month or the "reduce soda" month, let alone the "control your condiments/toppings" month or "more sleep" month.  (Probably because I knew they were too lofty?!?)
Report:  I sucked it up on this one.  Even though, I planned and announced my new thing those first few months, I never did do well at weight lifting in February, so I give myself a 16%.  And that's not even me being my usual "hard on myself/holding myself to high expectations" self!  That's the cold, hard truth.  Matt even has no comment.

5. Make new recipes out of ward cookbook
This totally should've been easy, and yummy....but I kinda forgot about it for the majority of the year, AND I had a heck of a time finding coconut pudding mix! (pina colada dip)
Report:  Buffalo Dip - check!
Famous Dip - check!
Pina Colada Fruit Dip - not until just last week, so it was already 2014....and since this was a 2013 goal, I was 66%.  (But, Matt would tell me to "count" it, of course!)  ;)

Final Verdict?  According to me:  I flopped!  According to Matt:  I achieved!
So, now that I've analyzed it all and "talked through" the rulings some, MAYBE I CAN do something for 2014.....

It is with great reluctance, I present to you my goals for the new year:
 
I saw THIS on Pinterest which I'm interested in, so here goes:

5 BOOKS I WANT TO READ:
(Let's go with the ones that are on my shelf right now)
She Got Up Off the Couch (a sequel to the one I was reading back here)
Reached
Fairy Godmothers, Inc.
The Book of Mormon (before our "Moroni's Quest" Youth Conference in June)
My Story (Elizabeth Smart)

4 PLACES I WANT TO SEE:
Nauvoo, IL
Cape Canaveral, FL (specifically the Ron Jon Cape Caribe Resort)
the different islands in Hawaii (via cruise?)
Disneyland

3 THINGS I WANT TO DO:
Be in the family cast of the Nauvoo Pageant
Finish Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons with Brookelle
Fill those empty spaces in our home with furniture & finally hanging things on the walls.

2 THINGS I WANT TO LEARN:
Gluten-Free baking/cooking
How to do a photo slideshow with music

1 THING I WANT TO CHANGE:
Give more compliments/encouragement to others.


There was also THIS ONE on Pinterest that I thought I'd do.  (some things are the same as above)

A BAD HABIT I'M GOING TO BREAK:  Staying up late (when I don't HAVE to because of work)...just to do [sometimes frivolous] things like surfing the internet, late-night T.V., and "getting one more thing done."  {Don't look at the time stamp of this post!} ;)

A NEW SKILL I'D LIKE TO LEARN:  See questionnaire above

A PERSON I'D LIKE TO BE MORE LIKE:  Jesus Christ - particularly His attributes of being calm, non-judgmental, & patient.  (Did I just describe Matt?  I believe I did!  Opposites attract?!?)

A GOOD DEED I'M GOING TO DO:  Keeping this one to myself....I want it to be anonymous!  ;)

A PLACE I'D LIKE TO VISIT:  See questionnaire above

A BOOK I'D LIKE TO READ:  See questionnaire above

A LETTER I'M GOING TO WRITE:  Maybe my OWN MISSIONARY SON? (possibly at the end of the year?)  If not, my Young Women at church or my children's Primary teachers - ANY or ALL.

A NEW FOOD I'D LIKE TO TRY:  Korean or Indian - our neighbors said they know some good places to take us!

I'M GOING TO DO BETTER AT:  Exercising in the winter.  My friend has recommended Bikini Body Mommy.  Apparently, it has a work out every day - and it started on Jan. 6th.....and I am going to start sometime....anytime now!  ;)

I shall look back on this post next year and either be really proud of myself....or extremely disappointed...

WHAT 2014 GOALS DO YOU HAVE?

This Weekend:

* I took the kids to Krispie Kreme Doughnuts to 

redeem their 1st term grades. 

Krispie Kremes give one FREE doughnut for each "A" on your report card

(or the equivalent, since our elementary school grades with 1, 2, 3's).

We ended up taking home 5 BOXES of doughnuts amongst everyone!

{It was a little embarrassing walking out of there with SO MANY - without making a purchase, too - but not enough to prevent us from doing it, I guess! ;)}

We had to put names on each of their boxes to keep everyone's straight.....which still didn't completely 

keep out the "treat theif" who lives among us who "Just Couldn't Help It" when it came to 

helping him/herself to others' doughnut supply.

Haylee's portion was used to fill my & Matt's doughnut cravings since

KK are NOT gluten-free.  (sad for Haylee, happy for Matt & I!)

As a substitutre, I took Haylee to Sweet Cake Bake Shop 

which DOES have GF baked goods.

* Next stop was going to Boondocks to get their good

grades rewards.  (3 tokens for A's, 2 tokens for B's).

Of course, the kids had to engage in "sibling banter" about who got more $$ than others!

{We had it all put on a card for now - we'll go & play at a later date!}

* As a rare occasion, we actually were home on Friday night and I made dinner!

I made 7-Layer Tostadas...compliments of a Pinterest find.

I've always loved 7-layer dip - this is a play on that!

{We figured something out:  the older you are, the MORE you liked this dish, and the more layers you put on it.  Matt, Ryan & I put EVERYTHING on it.....The youngest pretty much just had the tortilla, refried beans, & cheese!}

* The reason we were home was because we took our boys to this:

It was the Youth Culminating Event for this year.

Ryan was on the Youth Committee and helped plan it.

A couple of weeks ago, they each got their "Mission Call" in the mail.

Ryan got called to Sapporo, Japan (yea, Japan!)

Kyle was called to Manila, Phillippines.

It was a two-day event (Friday & Saturday),

 but when my boys came home on Friday night,

they were very UPBEAT, GLOWING, POSITIVE, FRIENDLY, COURTEOUS, HAPPY, and EXCITED to continue on the next day......

I could tell they had felt The Spirit all evening.

I'm so thankful for experiences like this for our youth!

 {They were feeling pretty good all dressed up in their spiffy missionary suits!}

 It warmed MY heart, too!

With their "Future Missionary" black name tags!

The next day, I went for just a couple of hours representing the Young Women adult leader from our ward.

There were a number of guest speakers that they learned great things like this from:

{Look!  There's even instructions for Mom, at home.}

I got some photos of some of my darling [future missionary] young women, too!

 (complete with some photo bombs from our young men!)  :)

Ryan was still feeling "the fire" within himself because he [without being asked] did his own laundry Saturday afternoon - a physical preparation that was emphasized during his "training."  :)


*Meanwhile, on Friday night, Matt & I and our daughters had a ice cream & movie "party."
We watched "The Big Green."

 It finally showed up on Netflix - it was a favorite with our boys when they were younger (& still now!)
Now the girls have been introduced to it - they liked it a lot, too!


* On Saturday morning, I went to our ward Relief Society's "Super Saturday."
In the past, I have made the foolish mistake of signing up for MULTIPLE
projects, and then I'm never able to finish them.
SO, this year, I only signed up for ONE THING.  The pillow cases.  Which the "teachers"
had told me were "so easy."
BUT, of course, I wanted to make one for everyone in my family.....which is 7....
and, as it turns out, that STILL equals MULTIPLE projects.
And I would not classify them as "so easy" either.
{I wasn't able to finish.}
My friend didn't get a chance to buy her fabric, yet, so I told her she
should just come anyway - AND she could bring her sewing machine and get "practice" for hers by
doing mine!  I was just kidding, but she came to help for reals - and in reality
I REALLY DID need her.  She made two, and I made two during the allotted time.
HOW DID I THINK I could ever make 7?!?
I was determined to get them done, so I spent the afternoon doing them at home.
After TWO busted needles, running out of bobbin thread, wondering WHY I didn't
stop at two children, and 2 1/2 hours later, I finished the last three pillowcases.

 * We had date night out with our friends at Twigs Bistro.  We'd heard so much about it from "everyone."
There was a 45 min. wait, so we walked around Station Park and checked out
the candy store and the Grand Opening of Old Navy there while we waited.
I would highly recommend the TNT Coulotte, and Matt would
recommend the Twigs Signature Burger.  yummmm.
(But our friends would not recommend what they got, the Spicy Red Curry [not spicy enough] or the Under the Sun pizza [too much meat] - sorry!)


* We went to church on Sunday.
I got to do a little skit for Sunday School that went with the lesson.
Although I did have a few speaking lines, more importantly the skit happened to involve me
eating chocolate chip cookies - sign me up every time!  ;)
I didn't have to teach in Young Women this week - my adviser did - but we are learning about this in November.
As far as self-reliance goes, I realized I did a better job of getting myself to bed at a good time
when I was their [young woman] age than I do today.  (gotta work on that!)


* I had about a 2 hr.nap on Sunday afternoon!
(That seemed like only 15 min.!)


* As is customary on the 3rd Sunday, we had dinner and FHE at Matt's parents' house
with some of the cousins on Sunday evening.
I think the kids may have managed to get more chocolate cake crumbs on the
kitchen counter and floor than in their mouths!  ;)


* Later that evening, we had a little "intervention" with Ryan about College & scholarship applications.
The deadline for most is fast approaching!!!
The High School counselor's goal for him is to get it all done by Thanksgiving
(Wow!  Is this really happening?)


* I think I fell asleep sometime during "Talkin' Sports"