An Update and "The Dog Hoarder's Convention"

Around here life is settling back into normal routine. After spending 3.5 weeks at home, A returned to work Monday. It was nice to have her home, especially since we had extra furry house-guests for a couple weeks. I guess I've just been feeling quiet and last week I was swamped getting the silent auction together for our rescue's annual get-together (also called the Dog Hoarder's Convention by A's sister). This is the third year I've been in charge but got a late start so I was just happy to pull things together in time.

Saturday morning we woke to a cool, windy day. A had spent Friday getting the RV ready and packed for our trip. The plan was to drive it to the rescue event and then camp along the Redwood river that night. We were running late...as usual...and after getting all the dogs loaded in to RV it wouldn't start. Seriously?! After working on it for over an hour, we just had to load the essential stuff and the dogs into two cars to go. We were both in pissed off moods but after we got there, it was hard to stay mad with all this cuteness running around...120 cute little dogs in attendance to be exact!

 Tawny

 The old man Gizzy looks down on the commoners from his stroller.

 How can you tell which one is yours?

 Love the teeth!

 Suki

 Buddy had the best seat in the house.

This is what happens when you try to give one dog a treat.

We ate too much food, visited and spent all my money at the silent auction. Since I run it and bid for others who can't attend, I don't bid for myself. The last two years A has bid for me and I've come home with a load of stuff and an empty purse.

This is the first year we decided to pose for a group photo. Obviously, this isn't every volunteer in our group but there are people here from Minnesota, Wisconsin, South Dakota, Iowa and even one person who planned their trip north from New Mexico to coincide with this event. 

This year my offer to the silent auction was a custom pet portrait by fellow blogger Rocket. I had her do one of our dog Gizzy to use as an example and the winner could then submit a photo of their own pet for a portrait. It was a big hit at the auction and I'm ecstatic it raised quite a bit of cash. I just LOVE this picture and she completely captured the Old Man. 

I have it framed and proudly displayed in my living room. THANK YOU ROCKET!

A and I had a lot of things planned for this fall but haven't accomplished much. Mostly I've just wanted to stay close to home and be with her. We were disappointed to not be able to camp this past weekend, but now the RV is up and running again (a bad battery is an easy fix) and we still have a weekend trip planned mid-October near the Mississippi river/Wisconsin before putting it away for the winter. We've had time to re-connect with each other and re-prioritize our lives. A seems to be in a better state if mind about her job and has decided to go back to school (online) to expand her degree. I'm so happy she has finally made that decision and I'm hoping it all works out. This coming weekend, I'm excited that my brother is bringing my nephews for a visit. I haven't seen them in over a year already!

Pool Time

Several years ago for 3 lovely summers we had a swimming pool. You know, one of those huge blue rubber things that seem to defy gravity. It was a decent size for us at 18 feet across and 4 feet deep; plenty of room for a couple floats and paddling around.

We spent a large majority of summer outdoor time just floating around out there reading and soaking up the sun. We had a lot of fun in that pool and there may or may not have been some late night skinny-dipping involved too.

A loved that pool and it was her summer hobby. She kept it spotlessly clean and the water was always that perfect crystal blue. She vacuumed, changed filters, checked the pH and carefully adjusted the chemicals. Mid summer of its 3rd year she discovered a small leak at one seam. She patched it and said that fall we would buy a new one. In August she herniated a disc in her back and had surgery. That meant no more pool time for her the rest of the summer and all the maintenance fell to me. That fall we started an addition to our house that took up some of the backyard. My brother helped me take down the pool for the last time.

We hung out around home the entire 4th of July weekend and all A talked about was how much she missed her pool. "Babe, maybe we should get a new one." I tried to be the voice of reason; "We don't have a flat sunny spot in the yard anymore." and "Don't you remember how much work it was?"
After 5 days listening to her talk about nothing else and being told several times "I would love to have that for my birthday" I finally caved and picked up a new swimming pool for A's birthday gift.

Now maybe I can get some peace and quiet. Happy 49th Birthday Baby!

Happy Belated Pride and Roadtrip Part 1

A built a fire for us in the back yard tonight. We sat out there for the longest time not even talking, but just staring into the flames. Earlier we had dogs out there with us. That was until Jill decided to try to crawl under the fire pit (yes while a fire was burning). Luckily the only damage she sustained was scorched hair on the back of her neck. 


It was Pride weekend in the Twin Cities but we chose to stay home. Now hearing about all the fun makes we wish we would have went even for a little while. A friend took this great picture of the I-35 bridge in Minneapolis all lit up for the occasion. 
We've been home from vacation 2 weeks...TWO WEEKS! It seems like forever already. Let me give you some highlights of our adventure.


We left Minnesota on the one day this year that summer decided to show up. We had planned to leave early afternoon but with a 95+ degree temp and humidity, we delayed for a few hours. We headed south getting pushed all over the road by a strong west wind. 


We had plans to meet Leeza's adopters at a truck stop in Bloomington, IL before 8am. That meant pushing through the night and arriving there after 4am. I have to say that the state of Illinois is full of fucking weirdos! There is one point on I-74 where there is 57 miles without an exit and right in the middle of that area, at 2:30am there was a woman walking along the side of the interstate. She scared the shit out of us since she was dressed in black and we saw her literally as we were passing her. 
Leeza's family showed up around 7am and although she was nervous, she was giving her new mama kisses by the time they left with her. 

Back on the road by to be in Indianapolis by noon. When we arrived it was over 90 degrees again and the only spot of shade at the meeting place was at the end of a Home Depot parking lot. It was insane the number of people who pulled up and shouted out "How much?" They didn't say hi, ask what kind of dogs they were, nothing but how much do they cost. A was trying to be pleasant and explain but I had lost all patience and finally just told people they're ours, we're on vacation. The End.
Chantelle's adopter was so excited to finally get her hands on her newest baby. I felt like I was handing a mother her newborn for the first time. She's going to be one very spoiled little girl.

Shortly after leaving Indianapolis, we hit a snag. We ended up parked on the interstate in 95+ degree temps with no AC for nearly a hour. We were getting worried for the dogs, I was behind the wheel and A was rubbing them down with ice/water. When we finally got moving again, I was at the point of not being able to handle anything anymore. I had been awake for 35+ hours (with a couple short naps) and A was not much better. She finally said what the hell are we doing this for and we pulled into the next campground we found. I swear that KOA outside of Dayton was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! We cooled off, showered, slept and ate. Now this is when vacation really starts. 


The next morning we enjoyed breakfast and then traveled eastward to our final camping spot. 

The KOA offered an all-you-can-eat breakfast for $5. You can't beat that.

Very happy to have my waffle.

My favorite part when returning home is driving from the flatland into the hills. It's hard to describe because even though it's not home anymore, at that moment I realize how much I miss the landscape. Our campground was up on a hill overlooking the river. Since we were there mostly during the week, it was quiet and we had a spot away from everyone else. 

Mist rising out of the hills just before sunrise.

Our campsite.

We reserved a rental car for getting around. Enterprise was too busy to pick us up in the morning so we called the local cab company to get a ride. Now that was an experience! At 9am she pulled up in front of the campground office. She was large, stinking of BO and cigarettes, greasy hair, sores on her arms and nursing her breakfast of Bugles and Diet Pepsi. We got in the cab and found the seats dirty and covered with cigarette burns. Packs of Pall Malls stacked on the dash of the car. Thankfully it was a short ride but not much better than the Tijuana taxi we took one time. At the rental place, they had no cars left so they gave me a Dodge Dakota truck. It was a nice vehicle but I had hoping for something with good gas milage after driving the gas whore over 900 miles.

It was hot everyday but we didn't care. In the mornings, A would make coffee and we would sit outside and smell the sweetness of the honeysuckle while eating breakfast. A was very interested in those plants since the honeysuckle she  knew growing up in northern MN is very different and hardly has any scent. 

After breakfast we would take the dogs walking on the trail and then come back and go for a swim in the heated saltwater pool. In the afternoon/evening we went out exploring and visiting with family and friends. 

Where else can you get a grilled cheese and fries for under $5 then have a huge bowl of ice cream.

Mmm, homemade peanut butter pie.

One day we spent in West Virginia. I just picked out a route on the map and we went on a road trip on secondary roads and through small towns. We stopped at a couple state parks and a nature reserve and went out hiking around. We stopped in small diners and listened to bluegrass music on the radio and just enjoyed being together; no schedules, no plans, no dogs, just us. 

I almost believe it.

Ohio River

 On Thursday morning I went to visit Dad and wrote about that in my previous post. On Thursday evening though I had the privilege to meet a fellow blogger; the one and only Sarcastic Bastard. We left one side of Buttfuck Ohio to drive to the other side of Buttfuck Ohio to meet her fabulousness for dinner and drinks. She brought along her Moms (you know a person must be safe when meeting people from the internet) and we had a wonderful evening together. We arrived 1/2 hour late because we got stuck in traffic/road construction in Columbus and I was praying she had not left thinking we had stood her up. It didn't help that I really didn't know what she looked like, except for a glance at a picture she had posted for a short time. Luckily A and I have pictures posted everywhere so we were recognizable. We walked into the restaurant, looked around anxiously and then SB was there hugging us. 


It is so seldom that I meet someone that I'm instantly comfortable with. I'm usually so shy and quiet with new people but we felt like old friends...well more like family. You know the real family that you enjoy spending time with because you love so much not because you're required to. :) The evening went by too quickly; SB had to work in the morning, A and I had a 2 hour drive home to our campsite. Pictures were taken (but will not be shared), hugs and good-byes were exchanged. I wish we would have had another day. I know this will not be our last trip to Buttfuck Ohio and next trip maybe we will take the moms up on her offer and plug in for a few days at her house. 
To be continued...

Fathers

Officially Father's day is almost over but well I'm late for everything else, so why not this too. I spent most of the day installing new flooring in the hallway. Yesterday morning I had planned to steam clean the carpet but by the afternoon I changed my mind and instead ripped out carpet and picked up new flooring at Home Depot. Anyway since it was a one person job and A was keeping busy and out of my way, I had a lot of time to think as I worked. I figured today was as good as any to write about my latest visit with dad.

I think this picture was taken of my dad and I on my second birthday. I'm pretty sure that was the year I received that fabulous tricycle. I'm surprised I still remember that bike. 

When A and I arrived in Ohio, I admit I didn't go to see dad right away. He didn't know I was coming and I was concerned that he would worry/obsess about our visit. Plus every conversation I've had with him the last 6 months has been about him returning to Minnesota so I honestly was dragging my feet to have that conversation face-to-face. When my aunt (my mom's sister) offered to go along with us to visit, I sighed with relief at having that extra support. She goes to visit him every couple weeks.

Thursday morning we drove the care facility where he is living. I was relieved to see how nice it was. A and I were inspecting everything. :) He was still in bed and my aunt walked in first. He looked up and gave her a little wave. She leaned over and told him she brought a surprise, that A and I were there. He looked at me, said "hi" and just launched into bitching and complaining. He wasn't really complaining about anything in the present, he was still complaining about things that happened a year or more ago. I wasn't really able to have much of a conversation with him. We just sat back and listened to him talk and I realized that he is living in the past. He told us the same stories he's told us for years. He thinks he still has a job here in MN and wonders when he will be able to get back to work. He knows he needs to live somewhere where he can be taken care of but also thinks he can drive, return to MN and move back into his apartment. He goes back and forth between knowing his grandchildren live in South Dakota to thinking they are still living across the street from me. 

It was a beautiful day so we took him outside to sit for awhile. I was relieved to see that Dad still very much looks the same. He was thinner but not overly so and he is eating well. 

As for the person my dad was, well that person is very much gone. I didn't realize how much that has effected me until I typed it right now. I've been hiding (or suffocating) that fact; pushing it down and forcing myself to look at this from a medical perspective.

The most obvious thing to me was when I arrived and gave dad a hug, he showed no emotion. He didn't hug me back or hold my hand or do any of the things he normally would have. He didn't even call me "Mac", the nickname he gave me before I can remember. When I left the hospital last August, he was weak but he kept rubbing my hand with his good one and telling me "I love ya Mac". When my brothers and I left he cried. This time there was nothing...no emotion just talk about nothing that really matters anymore. 

I didn't show any emotion either.

A was on stand-by. Nothing happened. I think she's still waiting.

I don't think dad even remembers my visit and maybe that's for the best. While I was there, I called one of my brothers so they could talk to him and then I forgot my phone in his room when I left. By the time I realized it, one of the employees had found it and taken it to the office. When they asked dad if he knew whose phone it was, he didn't know and didn't know who had been there to visit. 

Not all my thoughts on this Father's Day were sad though. I also remembered my grandpa this day.

This is the first and only topless picture you will find of me on the internet. I must have been a little over a year old when this picture was taken which would have made my grandpa around 75. I'm eating a grape popsicle. My mom tells me it was the only flavor I would eat at that time.

In many ways, my grandpa was more of a father figure to me than dad. He was kind and stable and peaceful. He told great stories and drew pictures and carved airplanes out of wood. He was always humming a song and after a few drinks, he might sing. After a few more drinks he might dance too. I would sit on his lap and eat cookies, doughnuts or crackers dipped in coffee. He would fry eggs and make us sandwiches. Mom tells the story of returning home to find my diaper secured with black electrical tape (in the days before re-positionable fasteners). He sat in a chair in the corner of our huge kitchen reading large print westerns. He had a nickname for everyone and gave me the name "little fuzz" when I was 3 days old; 35 years later some still call me by that name. He was the one who would tell me that my dad's obsessive behavior and fighting with my mom "wasn't right". 


He was already 52 years old when my mom was born and raising his second family. When my parents divorced, we moved back with him. By that time he was around 80 years old. He should have been enjoying his time but took us in, supported us financially when dad wouldn't and never seemed to regret it one bit. He always took me with him as he worked around the house. I would sit as he fixed things and he showed me how things worked. To this day I swear that if I'm stuck on some project around the house, I will set it aside and that night I will find the solution in my dreams...usually suggested by grandpa. He was the one who would tell me that it didn't matter I was a girl, I could do anything I wanted. That's pretty forward thinking for a man born in 1902.

Of all the people who have come and gone from my life, he is the one person I miss the most.

35

Yesterday was my 35th birthday. 

I worked in the morning and came home to find A had made this special banner. If you're a fan of "The Office" you will understand. If not well I just can't have your type stopping by to read. Nah, just kidding. 

A has been asking for weeks...or maybe it's been months about what I want to do, where I want to go, what I want for a gift. 

My choice was to stay at home and have dinner. She loves to cook. I requested grilled shrimp. She came home with these monstrous prawns.

 Soaking in a marinade of key lime juice, green chilies, garlic, onion and ginger.

 And grilled to perfection...even out in the pouring rain.

Served with my favorite grilled asparagus and baked potato.

 

I asked for a margarita cake this year. The cake and the glaze contain tequila, triple sec and margarita mix made with key limes. Once you go to the key limes, you can't go back.

We played in the yard with the dogs. When the rain came we took a nap and then got up and drank margaritas. Not a bad birthday at all.

Needs

Tonight A was downstairs working out. I went down to find her just finishing up.

Me: Babe, I have a need.

A Really?! *big smile and puffing up* Well I'm sweaty but give me a few minutes and I'll meet you in bed.

Me: *sigh* Noooo, I mean I NEED some cake or brownies...maybe some cookies.

A: *looking very disappointed*

Me: I've been combing the cupboards and we don't even have anything to bake. Would you go to the store and get something?

A: *smiling and shaking her head* Of course...what do you want?

So she got dressed and braved the extremely cold temperatures just to go pick up something sweet for me from the store. The really sad thing...even after all that niceness, I still didn't give her what she really wanted.  I'm bad, bad, BAD....and very spoiled. What can I say except that some needs sometimes overpower others.

Not a lot of substance but a whole lot of pictures.

One of my favorite Christmas gifts this year was a new negative/slide scanner. I've been scanning old negatives/pictures but my old machine was so slow. With this one I was able to scan over 2800 negatives in just a few hours over a few weekends. It has certainly been a walk down memory lane. There are the big vacations and special occasions that you remember pretty well. I have many of those pictures displayed around the house as well as photo albums full. The most fun part was finding all the forgotten moments; weekend getaways, day trips, nights out and just goofy times around the house. I mean, really what is the point of this picture.

I found a lot of pictures of us right before and in the beginning of our relationship. I look at my 23/24 year old self and remember all the turmoil of that time. Really, when we started dating I was a wreck...just felt lost, confused, unfocused and mostly alone. I was doing all the things I was "supposed" to do; working and going to school but then feeling like I was just floating along with no goal in sight. When I met A I found my other half as well as the person who became the rock of my life. For once this was a person that didn't "need" me to take care of them. I found a person I could totally relax with, let down my guard, not build walls. Honestly, that's what I do best. I have people in my life, but I find myself always keeping then at arms length; always a safe distance, never fully trusting or allowing myself to truly be known. I realize I do this. I'm always working to change these behaviors but I struggle with it often. I think I know the reasons why. Maybe it's just my nature.  With A those behaviors don't exist. She sees me as I truly am; moody, bitchy, bossy, no makeup, vomiting, crying and for some crazy reason she loves me anyway.

So here's a bunch of pictures of us taken in the early days on one of our first trips together. We had been together less than a year when we took the trip that was the real test of our compatibility - a 10 day camping/hiking trip. We slept in a tent, I fell down a hill, we almost got bit by a rattlesnake, A almost passed out while climbing, we froze our butts sleeping on the ground when it was 36 degrees and we had a blast. We didn't have even one argument...I would never make it through that now without getting a little bitchy.

Getting chased by a greedy "wild" donkey. 

Mt. Coolidge

Badlands of South Dakota

Mt. Rushmore

Waiting for dinner.

My nasty horse Eli. He constantly tried to bite me.

A's birthday decorations...

...and birthday cake.

Sylvan Lake

Top of Harney Peak-highest point in U.S. east of the Rockies.

Climbing the base of Devil's Tower

It's official that Miss Nifty has a new home in Boston. After living with us for 7 months, tonight is the last night she will spend here. Tomorrow afternoon she starts her journey east to her forever home. I didn't cry as much this time...maybe I got it all out last time I thought she was leaving. Yeah right! Who the fuck am I fooling. Tomorrow when I drop her off I'll cry like a baby when I say goodbye. When I'm home, this is typical Nifty behavior; always on my lap and giving kisses. Her new mama is going to be smitten when she finally meets her new baby.