I Was Struggling This Week

to find something to say.

I've been blogging since 2007 and I rarely do not post.  That is a lot of talking and sharing.  When I read back over old posts and comments, I see that blog following has lots of flow.  What I mean is that people who used to be regular visitors here have moved on, and there are many who are new readers here.  

 New growth on my Mini Rose Bush.  

I'm not an overly analytical type ( I leave that to Tim and a few of my kids!) but at times I wonder why someone stops reading a blog or at least commenting.

Then I realize that I have done that too, over the years.  There's only so much time in a day and if you are working, or still raising kids, something has to go.  

 New growth here too!

Recently I've joined with a few new link ups online (I miss Vee's Note Card Party!) and have found some new friends, and am enjoying 'new to me' blogs.  It was through Vee's monthly party that I met Dotsie, Judith, and Lorrie. 

Sometimes, we follow a blog because of where we are at in life, and the bloggers' writing resonates with us, sometimes it is due to a shared love of something such as gardening.  As our lives change, or our interests change, or our circumstances it is only normal that the blogs we seek out may change or expand. When I started blogging in 2007 I had 6 kids still at home.  Now three are married and I am a grandma. My life has changed!

We have 7 years left before all of our children will be adults.  My time is freer than its ever been, my interests have changed and are growing.  I'm thinking ahead to what will occupy my time when I am no longer raising kids.

 I am excited by the possibilities.  However blogging for so many years, I wonder what's left to say - haven't I said it all?  That's what was on my mind this week.  Then I realized that my thoughts have grown as I have continued to grow both as a person and spiritually.  I have a lot of new readers here, and I am so happy to welcome them!

I want my blog to still be about the things that drive me and this blog - Hospitality, Friendship, Encouragement. 

I'm thankful for this week of pondering, actually its been a bit of pondering longer than a week, so perhaps I should say this week of struggling with what to write about.

I feel like I have a fresh focus, and I am grateful. 

 Continued growth here as well!

Encouragment For Parents, and Grandparents

As a parent I have tried to be intentional with my children.  I read them books, we watched movies together, we discussed current events, learned to ask forgiveness of each other and how to forgive one another, prayed together.  

Sometimes we argued and fought, but mostly we love each other and walk together through life.  We chose home education for our family because it allowed us to share our lives on a day to day basis. 

My dear friend Karen Andreola shared this story on her FB page the other day, and I'm sharing it here with her permission.

 
HE DOESN’T COUNT

It had been a dull year in the little church in Scotland. The deacons finally said to the old pastor, “We love you, but don’t you think you’d better resign? There hasn’t been a single convert this year.”

Solemnly, the pastor answered, “It has been a dull year. Yet, one did come. Wee Bobby. But he’s so small I suppose he doesn’t count.”

Years later Bobby Moffat asked the pastor, “Do you think I could ever learn to preach? I feel within me that I ought. If I could lead souls to Christ, I'd be so happy!”
The pastor answered, “Well, Bobby, you might preach. Who knows? At least, you can try.”

Bobby did try, and many years later, when Robert Moffat returned from his wonderful missionary work in Africa, the King of England rose and Parliament stood as a mark of respect.
Robert Moffat (1795-1883) Scottish missionary to Africa, father-in-law of David Livingstone, translated the whole of the Bible into Setswana.

This story was in a book of 1,000 stories for children's workers.  What it made me think of was the importance of the work we, as parents and grandparents, do as share the Lord with the little people God places in our lives.  So many don't feel this is important work, just a stage to be gotten through, until our children move into adulthood.

God knows exactly what tasks He has equipped each person to do.  He sends each one with every thing they need to do the job he has for them!  We must not over look the important task of helping children come to know Him!

Jesus said, "Let the little children come unto me, and do not forbid them."  The disciples thought Jesus had more important things to do than spend time with children.  Jesus thought otherwise.  "The kingdom belongs to such as these."

How sad that the elders of the church that Robert Moffat grew up in didn't consider his coming to the Lord as significant, as if he didn't count.  He counted in the eyes of the ONE who had saved him, and gifted him!  Karen told me that Robert Moffet also translated Pilgrim's Progress in the tribal language that he translated the Bible into!

I'll never regret leading my children to the Lord, and encouraging them as we walk together through life.   Half of them are now adults and have grown up responsibilities.  They still need to know their parents are praying for them and love them and are walking still by their sides.

I believe that God asks us to be faithful to do this job, and then He asks us to leave the results up to Him.  This is hard.  I used to try so hard to do His job.  In tried to make results happen. He has taught be a lot through painful experiences to leave my children in His hands, and to pray.  He is faithful, He uses many things we would not ever choose in order to help us learn of Him.  This includes our children and the choices they make.  He will use it all for His glory.

 I want to encourage you, friends, whether you are parenting young children,  or spending time with grandchildren, do not become weary in what you are doing.  It is such important work. 

Keep looking to Him for help and guidance.  He wants us to know Him and He will help you in this great work He has called you to. 
 
 Big family photo from Nate and Kay's wedding.

31 Days - A Season of Little Ones - Part 2

Thank you for your continued encouragement to me about this series.  Some of you have messaged me personally or have commented on my Facebook page and not here, which is fine!  I am just happy that it has been a blessing and an encouragement to you.

I wanted to share a few more thoughts about life when you have Little Ones in the home.

First, I'd like to encourage you that it is never too late to make changes in how you parent.

We are completely different parents to our younger children than we were to our older children.  We've grown and learned some lessons the hard way.  I continue to be grateful for the Lord's faithfulness in leading us as parents.  Ask Him to show you exactly what your children need from you, He will guide you.

Second, don't worry that there is ONE right way.  Each family and child is different, and may need something completely different from you than their siblings.  Get to know your children.  What speaks love to their hearts?  Is it getting one on one time?  Is it receiving a gift?  Is is words of affirmation?  FIND OUT and practice it with them!

Third, find some encouraging resources.  I lived away from family and friends for years, and I found a lot of encouragement through books.  Sally Clarkson's "Seasons of A Mother's Heart" was a good book, and so was her book "The Mission of Motherhood."

I found encouragement in Karen Andreola's writings on education. You can read her wonderful blog "Moments With Mother Culture."  Take the time to visit Karen there.

Fourth, keep your relationship with your husband the top priority.  When our children were young we couldn't always go out on a date,  so we invented deck dates.  At least one evening a week, after putting the kids to bed, we would get coffee and tea and sit on our deck in the dark and look at the night sky.  We would talk and talk, and reconnect with each other.  Keeping our hearts connected was so important to us.  It let him know that I was not 'all about the kids' only and it let me know that he valued me as more than a mommy.  We were in this season together, we were going to survive this crazy season with an intact marriage!  And we have!

Tomorrow we'll talk about the season of teenagers in the home!  Won't that be fun!

31 Days - A Season Of Little Ones

When you are a mom of little ones, it can seem like the only things you will ever do for the rest of your life is change diapers, deal with toddler meltdowns, fix PBJ's, and fall into bed exhausted!

Let me remind you know of how quickly they grow and that one day again you'll have time for reading a book, having lunch with a friend, a romantic get away with your husband!

When your in the trenches of this time, it really helps to fix your mind on Him, and to recognize the high calling that Mothering is.  You are not just glorified babysitters.  You are the nurturers of the next generation.  The ones who will raise your grandchildren.  Ah, now there is something you likely didn't consider.  What you pour into your children will be poured into your grands and great-grands.  So decide wisely what kind of mother you will be, for it is your choice.

Are you going to be focused on what our culture tells us we should be focused on?  Did you know that you can opt out of that?  I did.  I became an intentional mother.  I thought about what kind of people I would want them to be and poured myself into training that into them.

We decided we didn't want them to be unkind with each other so we didn't allow them to say "shut up" to each other, for example.  We also tried to get to the heart during conflict and didn't allow an easy "I'm sorry," either.  We required them to acknowledge what they'd done and ask for forgiveness.  "I was wrong to take your toy.  Please forgive me."  Then we taught the forgiver to quickly and freely forgive (as they would want to be forgiven) "I forgive you" they would hug and off they go to practice getting along.

We wanted them to know the Lord so we read the Bible to them and had them learn verses and just talked to them as we went along our day.  As we learned to recognize God's hand in something we mentioned it to our kids.  We learned to speak words of thankfulness to God for safety, for provision, for grace.  I see those things coming out of my older kids mouths now.  It will happen Mamas so hold on and keep at it!

So many mothers today, don't really like their children.  You all know what I mean.  You see it when you are out and about.  The out of control kids, and parents who are so worn out they either ignore it or yell constantly.  The kids are out of control because the parents allowed it and continue to allow it.  They don't even realize that if they had just loved and trained their children from the time they were infants, they would have children who you can take anywhere.  These parents feel like they have no control, no say over how their children behave and so are controlled by their children.  It's sad.  Children need loving adults helping them to learn how to behave properly and how to treat others.  They don't know it on their own, and so they naturally default to self focus (as we all are wont to do) and self centeredness.

It doesn't have to be that way.  

Also make sure you take a bit of effort during these years to stay connected to your husband.  Partner with him in raising your children.  Sometimes we moms can act like "I've read the books, this is how you do it," and we don't allow our husbands to develop their own rapport with their kids.  Let me tell you, if you tell your husband he's doing it wrong too many times, he'll stop trying.  

I know women who act as if their husband don't have a brain when it comes to the kids!  Your husband is a man and he may let the children be rougher in their play than you would but it doesn't mean it's wrong.  And if your kids go out in public in clothes you wouldn't put on them, it's not the end of the world.  The important thing is that Dad and the kids have a real and genuine relationship. All those wrestling matches on the floor are building fun memories and a trust between them, so that in the future they have a foundation that they'll know they can come to you or your husband about more weighty and serious things.

So let's recap a bit since this is so long.

1.  Have a vision of family life and relationship.  If you don't have one, decide on one.  Think multigenerationally.

2. Be intentional in your parenting.

3.  Teach them to know the Lord.

And here is one I didn't mention yet.  Find support for yourself in the very young years.  It's so easy to get overwhelmed by it all.  So often young moms don't have anyone to turn to, as the women are mostly all out of the home.  They don't have their mothers, sisters, aunties, grannies near by for help and fellowship.

If you find yourself in this situation, find an online source.  There are other women out there with the same desire for their families and children as you.  Momheart.org is a great place to start.  

You can grow to LOVE this crazy season of life, and if you do, you and your children will have wonderful memories to remind each other of in the years to come!

Something I Missed

It was cool and crisp last evening.  The kind of night usually experienced it the Autumn. 

 I loved it.

And I did something that I've missed.  

I had a deck date with my man.

As you know, I am NOT a fan of heat and humidity.  In the summer I tend to hide out in places with Air Conditioning.  If I have to do outside work, I do it early in the day or in the evening.

Yesterday was lovely.  Very pleasant.  I went out used the bow saw to take a few branches off of our Red Sunset Maples in the front yard.  Just smallish ones that are growing too low.  I like not whacking my head when I mow.

When the evening rolled around, the kids returned from their ultimate frisbee game at the park, and proceeded to hang out with Lindsay in the living room.

My man said, "Its nice outside.  We should sit on the deck."  I agreed quickly.

Out we went and were quickly joined by Emma.  Tim and I held hands and we all looked at the stars, and watched for satellites. 

When she was younger we would have shooed her back inside to give us our time alone, but we know that these years with her are winding down.  It's good to share time together and listen to each other, and talk about the changes growing up can bring and the expectations, etc.

It was good.

I had to go inside and get a blanket it was so chilly.  Delightful!

Time spent with my man, my girl, and God's glory on display made for a sweet night.

I've missed this.  Really missed it.

But I'm thankful for the preview of Autumn, and of deck dates to come.

Encouragement

  
Sometimes my life is challenging.

I am on the go from morning until night, late night. 

I am a mom of 6, still actively mothering 3, and encouraging and guiding the others who are now adults.  I also have a wee granddaughter who lives with us, and a daughter in law to be.

In older days, my kids went to bed and I had a few hours to pursue my own interests; reading, sewing, knitting.  I struggled when I had to give them up for someone else's needs - after all I deserved my time, right?  I had earned it...after all I home educate my kids - I am pouring into them all the time!

God showed me over time that my rights needed to be set aside and that I needed to have a heart to serve others.

We also own Fab Fashion a women's handbag and accessories store. This keeps me very busy!

Sometimes I feel exhausted and like I don't have anything left to give to anyone!  I wonder if all my work is worth it.  The Lord recently encouraged me with these words at Sally Clarkson's blog -

It is not the grand, noble accomplishments that are the most profoundly valuable to God. It is the unnoticed, the invisible practicing of being faithful, courageous when no one else is looking, that become the jewels of our faith in the eyes of God.

Those words were just what I needed to get my focus back. 

My work in my family - my intentional discipleship, while wearying at times, is valuable to God!  My serving others through hospitality is a Joy, as I allow the Lord to use me to bless others  

That makes my burden easy to bear, as I see that He is helping me to carry that which He has given to me to do. 

 For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown toward His name, in having ministered and in still ministering to the saints. Hebrews 6:10

 What encouragement this was to me!  I thought maybe it would be encouraging to you too!

Happy Birthday, Nate!

Twenty one years ago, I became a mother for the first time.  What a blessing motherhood has been to me.  I have learned so much, and especially I have learned so much through this man who is my firstborn.


How is it possible that you give birth one day and the next day that baby is a man who is about to become a father himself?  Time goes by so fast.  Our lives are truly a vapor.


It is our job to faithfully raise, the children the Lord gives us, to adulthood.  We want our children to be mature adults and faithful parents, themselves.  They have to learn to rely on the Lord for guidance, just like we learned to do.


God is so faithful. 


Nate is excited to be father and we are praying for him and Kayleigh that God will be their help and give them wisdom as parents.


Happy Birthday, son!  


We love you!