My My My! Look how far we've come.

My family spent Labor Day at my in-laws home with a whole group of Mt. Dew drinking, farm talking extended family. It was a nice relaxing day but I'm convinced that someone slipped My Baby some of that sweet nectar (Mt. Dew) because the boy was awake for 11 hours straight. My Baby, who can't go 3 hours without a nap, was awake for 11 hours. My best guess is Uncle Dennis, but that is neither here nor there. Anyway....I digress.

At one point I had ventured down in the basement to check out the new flooring. Then my mother-in-law's bookshelf caught my eye. Why? Because I, who currently have 4 books in progress, felt it necessary to add a few more to the list. A few rows down and my eyes stumbled upon a set of encyclopediaish children's books called "The Bookshelf for Boys and Girls." They were old and looked vintagy. And that does not mean that I am referring to my mother-in-law as old and vintagy. Just to be clear.

I decided to select a few to take home. I thought it might be fun to read through some of them with Anna. She's always good for a history lesson or two. I carefully made my selection and ended up with these.


The one on the left is Volume 9 "Great Events and Famous People" and on the right you'll see Volume 5 "Things to Make and Do." I don't know about you, but I find the cover art work delightful. Really, I do.

And then what to my wandering eyes did appear, but this!


It's the Parent's Guide! Could it be that all the answers to parenting that I've been looking for for years have been sitting on a shelf in my in-law's basement? Is this the instruction manual I've been desiring for the past 7.5 years? Probably not. But I figured with a copyright of 1970 it was bound to provide me with some interesting and amusing bits of information. The book did not let me down.

A few things were not really surprising. Those of us born in the 70's know that carseats were virtually non-existant. Except for maybe a "booster" that's sole purpose was to help you see out the window. My brother and I rarely used the seat in my parent's Oldsmobile Delta 88. We preferred to ride while laying in the back window. And my mom, well, she used to stop the car real fast to see if she could get us to roll out. It was fun. She would be arrested now. Anyway, about those carseats..... I wasn't surprised to see this picture.

And I love the caption. "This child is well-protected." Something tells me that General Motors wouldn't stand to have their name next to a picture like this today.

And this one was funny, but not too surprising. We all know potty training tools have made great strides.

But the kid can't be any older than 12 months? How early did they start back then anyway? And the built in foot rest...ingenious!

But then I started coming across some things that caused me to laugh out loud. Most came from the pregnancy and newborn section. Take a trip back in time with me circa 1970. And while we're there, help me determine what is real and what is merely staged for the sake of pleasant reading.

Exhibit #1
" It helps when father-to-be shares the household tasks."

Agreed. But how many fathers-to-be actually wore an apron? My dad was a 70's dad and I just don't see it happening. Sorry.

Exhibit #2
"Doctor helps new baby to take first breath."


Scary. No further comment

Exhibit #3
"First time parents get valuable experience in caring for their newborn."

The father here could easily pass for the older brother. And what dad wears a tie to the hospital while his wife is in labor? And why does dad have his back to the mom?

Exhibit #4
"Coming home with the new baby."

Looks to me like they're leaving the bank? Forget the panty hose and heels. Every time I left the hospital I was wearing sweats and sneakers. And she has quite the pep in her step for just giving birth. I was thankful they wouldn't let me walk and made me ride in a wheelchair.

Exhibit #5
"Feeding the baby is a happy family affair."


Riiiiiight. So tell me, what year was it that the older siblings stopped sitting so nicely watching the baby and decided feeding time was the perfect time to need help getting a snack and drink of their own?

Exhibit #6
"This father is telling his boy the facts of life."


Kind of ironic that dad chooses to have "the talk" while building a model rocket. No further comment required here.


But the humor didn't stop with the pictures. I looked a little deeper into the text and found equally amusing "information."

#1
Pregnancy

No matter how "great" a woman feels during pregnancy, no one likes to be referred to as "blimp-like."


#2
Pregnancy


If you're going to look like a blimp, you might as well get a hair cut to go along with your fuller face. Now is not the time for long hair, ladies.

#3
The Toddler Years

Did toddlers in the 70's really only need a few square feet of play space and they and their toys never wandered out? My kids can't even keep their toys in the toy room.

#4
The Toddler Years

Maybe this is one thing that hasn't changed, but I've never actually heard it worded this way.


In conclusion, I've decided that this is one of those books that was written in a way to cause people to choose to continue to procreate. Because honestly, if they told it like it really is people just might choose not to become parents.
Okay, maybe that's not true. But I refuse to believe this is how things were in the 70's. Because if that's true then that means my parenting skills in the 2000's leave a lot to be desired.

My husband doesn't wear an apron.
I wasn't skipping out of the hospital.
And I can't keep my 16 month old and his toys confined to a few square feet without the assistance of walls and duct tape.
Am I the only one?