Sepia

That would be the colour of my life.
Sepia. The pages I mean. 
The pages wrinkled, frayed around the edges.
Much thumbed. 
Vulnerable words hedging inwards.
Going back is a given. 
Living in what has been
Yearning for what would be.

Passion lurks, unbidden. 
Belonging, unwavering. 
Inconsolable grief, it form scabs,
Over healing wounds. Slowly.

You hold that book now.
Containing the pages of my life.
Do you see what I mean?
Those words, those lines-
Concealing more than meaning.

I wish I could edit them.
Those words, I mean. 
Find grace in simple stories
I once lived. 
I cannot touch them now, though. 
But of course. 

Still, the rainbow that my life is
Can never be muted:
Even if it be Sepia, in yours.

28 September 2012
Online
(Inspired entirely by the topic for Versification given at school, "Pages of my life" :D)

Other personal Sepia favourites:
Sepia Dreams
Beyond Sepia Dreams

One Day

And just when bone deep exhaustion

In my soul clamours for a break from it all...

A gusty wind picks up, and whooshes through

The curtain, that partly opened window;

The one I tried to shut. Tight. 

And out billows tendrils of not just

My stringy hair...

But labored threads of threatening thoughts.

The "What If"s, the regrets, the tiny tenacious lichen-like

Scabs of memories. Of another day. 

This gutsy gusty thing. I wish I could be it. 

Someday. 

23 July, 2012

Def-i-ance

Of freedom,
Bound within
Acceptance. 

Not, let free
In typecast stereotypes.

I've wondered
Ever so often
What defines me-

The willingness to be me;
Or the obligation otherwise

Answers elude.

Till then I'm bound to be

Free, to be pigeonholed.  

4 March, 2011

Stuff.

Stuff. 

I write stuff. 

In-your-face, sometimes. 

Tantalizing, to myself. 

Nerdy, to some.

Often, surreal, to all.

For, the meaning, the picture

Is hazy when seen through eyes

That do not own words.

See? You've got to see them

Then touch them just a bit

As you roll them round your tongue...

Feel that quiver perhaps when a tiny

Plosive sound echoes a heartbeat's cry.

Bah! What's that? You gag!

I've known terrorists you know, 

The kind whose "plosive" *snigger snigger*

Sounds I've laughed away...

And you. You. You perhaps 

Insinuate, I cannot fathom

The utter senselessness of 

That word?

Which one? I ask. 

You're not sure, I can see.

Which plosive sound? Did I not

Just implode, with that suggestion?

And that is what I did mean.

A word like Love. 

A word that cries.

A sound that smells 

Of disdain. 

Breath rushes out between

Half opened, sometimes closed lips

When you articulate. I beg you. 

See. 

Even when sounds defy

Phonetic seriousness

Not adhering to norms. 

See.

Touch. 

Taste. 

When you listen.

And then, then only

Will I grant that you can

Read.

Stuff. 

26 February, 2012

Online, on a silly line of thought :D

Aftermath

In splintered glass

Its shards - sharp, silently

Holding the shrieks

Deeply felt, unexpressed...

When mirrored hearts

Unable to take the

Screaming pitch of 

Untold grief

Simply shattered.

Broken pieces of emotion

Jagged ends of pain

Liquid molten ooze

To soothe the 

Calamitous infinite moment

That endless eternal moment

I never thought

I'd recover from.

The splintered glass

And shards

Mirrored again-

Multiple hues

Myriad dreams

From whole to parts

Complete in each

Broken incompleteness.

All is not lost.

Each minute dream

Grows rich again.

Each reflected colour

Promises life again-

Each sliver, on it's own

Finds itself again...

Life, it still has

Meaning.

2 August, 2011

(Written while supervising the senior children writing their poetry, on the theme, "Life, it still has meaning". :D)

Rebell- I - ous

All it took-
Takes-
Is being told
No you can't.
Because.
Who's in charge?

You take inherent interest
Away, forcibly
Then please expect
Innovative influx of
Engaging enthusiasm
To do
To be
Just That.

I shall not say
I told you so.
You ought to have
Learned it, by now.

If not, you,
Very sadly, confirm
A lingering suspicion.

I've wasted time.
On you.
On opinion.

About time I discovered
A happy truth.
I love being the rebel!



24 November, 2011
Online, on a rebel's reckless train of thought :P

Soulful

At what point does one stop

Being, and just be?

A process that is done

As against being done...

Looking outward of existence

Telescoping into myriad possibilities

Of want-to-live-in thoughts

Some call them dreams

Others, fantasy

Realists, escapism

A deep deep urge within

That will not let you be

That gnaws desperately

On frayed ends of intentions

Till you surrender

The intention

Or

The Urge

Or

Neither

and 

Live

Not just exist.

27  July 2010

Erratic Eccentricity 

Vindication!

Ah! You said I couldn't!
And that you wouldn't

Share in the losses if any
That's a laugh, and you know it.
I'd have dared you, had I the
Tiniest inkling, what more
You laid in store for us!!!

Still, I shall be generous
As I stand vindicated.
No matter how hard you tried,
Fortune, sheer luck, was on our side.

And try as we may, to ignore
Somehow, it still grates sore
That what we could have been
Is a fraction less than what we have just seen.

What matters, finally
Is just this.
It happened. As it should have.
As it did.
As we did.

Period.




20 November, 2010

*Conditions Apply

The invitation was clear
In that look we shared;
And mesmerized, we made
That Deal.

And yes, we were, and have been
And still are, all that we could be...

But to each other?
That look, we look, yet again, for it
Hoping against hope...

For when we scripted,
While we enacted...
We overlooked the line
Between lines...

*Conditions Apply




Online, 1 pm, 20 June, 2010

Eternally Timeless

I shall ever be The Outsider.
Looking on, Looking within.
Never to come home.
Never to slip into the warmth
Unaffected, blissfully blithe, bold.
Never to loudly claim possession.
Or gleefully discard with shouts of laughter.

For I may be sure of You, and Me
Us, for sure!
But not the vagrant devil, Time.
How it plays, teases, promises
And then shatters.

Into the space of being-
Of the breath indrawn
Are the million shards of emptiness...
Sent out by time, to hurt into awareness-
The knowledge that I have grown out.
Out, of myself-
To have lost myself.
In time.




9 February, 2010

Revelation

A blade of grass
In the vast paddy field;
The vision within
I had of me.
One, just like tthe other-
Yet standing alone
No hope of grain
To weigh me down
The joyful burden of
Fruition, yet to be mine.

And yet, hope lingered
That I would meet worth
If not grain; why not?
A butterfly's tinsel touch?
Or yet again, a gentle whiff
Of a moonlit breeze.
To tingle, tantalize
Bringing promise of that
I had yearned for!

And when you came,
In the guise of a little
Brown sparrow,
Looking, with your head
Cocked to one side
Quizzical gleam, through
The quiet knowledge reflected deep...

I knew, why I was made-
I knew, felt known, was touched
By your quiet simple knowledge
Why worry about whats and whys
I am me, the blade of grass
Like no other-
Meeting my destiny, the way I should
The way I would
When it unfolded.

Buoyed by a brisk breeze
I swayed, in thanks-
At the quaint brown sparrow...



12 April, 2010

Pic Courtesy - birdsofwestwood.com

Love is in the Air!

Haunting
Gentling
Filling

Spring has come again-

Wafting on the wind
Is that familiar ache-
Of loving and yearning...
That poignant hush
That brings with it a sweetness.

Softly
Meltingly

Hearts meet, hope and build
Nests, in the wildernesses of dreams!
Couched in the same certainty;
The security of togetherness-

Where, yet again, I and you
Meet and melt, into us...
into that circle of completeness...


29 March, 2010


For Devesh and Bindya, and all those in love :) May God keep your nest safe, warm, and loving always :)

Pic. Courtsey: http://www.collecto-mania.com/Circle%20of%20Love/486930.jpg

Meeting Me

The sea calls out to me-
As I walk beside its waves;
Washing away imprints I leave-
Temporal, I know I am, yet still...?

In my arrogance, I wait
And as the tide ebbs-
I walk again, pressing close,

Digging in my heels, causing

Tiny wells and pools-

I gloat, and look in askance
At the sea.
It still calls, unperturbed.
All-knowing.
It calls, mesmerizing,
Melting away my dregs of self.

And I surrender.
As I knew I would.

The sea calls-
As I step in,
From the water's edge...

To meet the endless, limitless me.





15 May 2009

Pic Courtsey: http://thehighsign.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/humoresque153.gif

A Full Circle!

The first time we met,
Didn’t seem that way!

A lifetime before,
Surely…!
But how does
The time elapsed
seem so little?

How we seemed
to just pick up
from where we
left off-

When Fate perhaps
dealt a heavy hand-
That we found difficult
to play!

And so, the Carousel
stops here, this lifetime-
And we meet – again.

Funny, isn’t it?
How life always
comes round-
A full circle!



7 October, ‘07

***
Sort of connected mildly to the earlier post :) Something that came as a sort of sequel, if you wish :)

Knife

The knife twists in the wound
As I sit and watch

The pen scratches on paper
And I still feel inexperienced.



Undated

You...

just a couple of weary shells
on a lonely beach.
a couple of tired purposeless
shells.

till a grain of a fraction of
the golden sun
slipped between.

the pain started; endured
and crystallized as a drop of
tear

into a liquid opaque milky
pearl.

a beginning with you.
a realization of beauty.

my empty lifeless eyes
fill with tears....

17 March, '84

***

Re-post, again :)

Edited to add:

If you'd like to have a personalized signature like this, do visit this

webpage

It's simple. :)

Quest, Again...

Into myself
down the

s
t
r
i
n
g
s

that letters form

s
......n
a.
k....
i........
n...
......g

down
weaving in and out
through emotion
feeling

through the
labyrinthine
maze
of experience
in pursuit
of that fleeting
gossamer texture
that,

touching it,


will lend itself
to the bliss of
finding the
pot of gold
at the
rainbow's

e
n
d

.
.
.


I look again
to find

those

w
o
r
d
s





17 March, 2008
***

A re-post, till the quest brings more time and words to share :) :)
Thank you, once again, all of you wonderful people for having dropped in here to read, and share your views. A few more days, and I ought to be myself again, :D!!!

Another post on which I have tried the same nonsense structure :) ....

Your Music

When Memories Rain

It's that time of year
When memories
Rain down on me-

Holding your little hands,
Running out into the rain,
Splashing, drenching,
Squealing, howling!

You two just loved the rain!

The years have flown by-
And this rainy afternoon
I sit, wrapped up in
Muffler and socks

At the open window
Feeling the tingling
Spray of the heavy rain,
In the light breeze...

Watching you play with
Other little hands in yours,
Little feet, and broad arms,
Linking and pulling
Squealing and rumbling-
Laughing and hooting!!

I'm glad, you still love the rain!

My heart warms at the sight
More than any woollens can do;

Am I glad, you two still love the rain!!







19 June, '07


Pic: www.thousandfaces.net

A Realization!

When silence speaks
A thousand tongues,
My words can speak
But one.

And though my heart can
sense Eternity,
Beating in tandem
with yours-
Why do my eyes seek
And probe
And question?

The Language of Love
Perhaps, is one
I need to understand;
Still

And Still shall I be
I know, when I
Permeate and flow
As water-
As Life.
When I meet you
Where you have always been.

In me.






18 February, '08

***

A re-post :) Just to share again, from the Ones Lost in the Pile :) :)

Yuletide Greetings!

A Very Merry Christmas, all ye who drop in here!!
May All you wish for this yuletide, and all to you, so dear
Be with you, close in your heart, and forever near;
May trouble never darken doorways, and bring to you any fear!!


A wish for you all...


That this yuletide is filled with much joy and cheer
For each one of you, and your families, be they near or far
May Peace reign again, and Goodwill fill every heart!!


And, May God Bless us all...
This Beautiful Day
And Evermore!


Amen!!


25 December, 2008

Picture, courtesy: www.mccullagh.org