Showing posts with label memoir. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memoir. Show all posts
In the Mirror, a memoir of shattered secrets, by Ann Carbine Best
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| Available from the publisher, WiDo. Also available for Kindle and Nook for $3.99 http://widopublishing.com/ourtitles.aspx |
A memoir has to be cleverly written or it becomes just a recount which can be quite boring. Ann’s memoir is anything but boring! She has used her vast arsenal of writerly talents to compile a riveting story of her life. It is the generous use of dialogue which sets this memoir apart, drawing the reader in. I felt like I was going through the journey with Ann, (and offering her advice along the way.)
And what a difficult journey it is. For a married woman with four children to find out her husband really preferred men must have been painful beyond imagining. I’m sure many women reading In the Mirror would be yelling at Ann: Give him the boot! Don’t put up with it! But Ann is not just any woman; she is a woman of remarkable strength and purpose. She had married for life, she was protective of her children, she was not going to give up easily. Even her husband Larry said on breaking the news: ‘You probably want to leave me.’ Ann replied: ‘No. I don’t want to leave you. You’re my husband. The children love you.’ (p.23). And so Larry stayed, but wasn’t prepared to give up men. The marriage continued for seven years after Ann found out her husband had cheated on her. Seven turbulent years.
I was surprised at the extend of intervention from the Mormon church of which Ann and Larry were both members. It must have been helpful for Ann to have the men of the church to call on in her times of distress, but I didn’t always feel the advice they gave was in Ann’s best interests, but maybe that’s just independent me speaking.
For such a tale of woe, Ann is never woeful. She takes many blows, but receives them with grace. The reader can’t help becoming emotionally involved. I was very angry at some of the complications of her ex-husband’s gay life, how it affected the children, how it made a difficult situation even more difficult. I was angry at Ann’s financial struggle, especially after Jen’s car accident and resultant brain damage, while her ex-husband was in a position to help her but chose not to for selfish reasons.
Then I was surprised when Ann chose to marry again, this time to a man obviously addicted to alcohol, going against the advice of the church. But was it the financial pressure and her need to see her children secure that was behind this decision? Once again Ann and her family are put through years of turmoil until the inevitable happens and Tom is no longer with them.
Throughout Ann’s struggle, it is obvious she retains feelings for her ex-husband and that she regrets the breakdown of a marriage which she believed would last into eternity. In the Mormon marriage ceremony the bride and groom stand ‘in front of mirrors with mirrors behind them that reflected their endless images, symbolic of eternal marriage’ (p.197). This is where I think the title In the Mirror originates. But sadly even though Larry and Ann’s images were reflected in the mirror on their wedding day, their marriage was not to be for eternity.
For a great memoir which is a celebration of the resiliency of the human spirit, read Ann Carbine Best’s In the Mirror. I eagerly await her next memoir.
L'Aussie's Verdict: 9/10
Sunday, July 24, 2011 | Labels: memoir |
The Boys are Back by Simon Carr
This memoir of a widowed father raising two boys by himself in New Zealand and England had me laughing aloud within the first pages, and then on the verge of tears a few pages later. It's so well written and downright hilarious at times that this book is worth picking up. I read it from cover to cover, but found myself tempted to bookmark pages and go back to them. I even read pieces of it to my husband because I found parts both amusing and surprisingly informative.
Goodreads review:"So there we are, a father and two sons in a household without role models, males together in a home different from anything I'd known—an idyllic Lost Boys' world with a house full of children and as few rules as possible."
When Simon Carr's wife Susie lost her battle with cancer, Carr was left to raise his 5-year old son, Alexander, on his own. Soon after, Hugo, his 11-year old son from a previous marriage comes to live with them. Now, this motley crew of boys has to learn how to be a family. Along the way, Carr reveals some illuminating truths about parenting and the differences between mothers and fathers. His messy household bears no similarity to the immaculate home his wife kept; his response to mothers on the playground fretting about his son's safety on the handlebars is, "If he falls, at least he'll know not to do it again." Emotionally honest and sharply witty, Carr's story is at once heartbreaking and wonderfully life-affirming.
I think where the THE BOYS ARE BACK (also called THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN in earlier editions) is flawed is in its severe lack of plot consistency (which coincidentally is what the movie version of the novel manages to correct). It has next to no structured plot, and reads more like a series of short stories, or excerpts on life rather than an actual novel. In saying that, its lack of structure certainly reflects the household Carr is portraying, so perhaps when taken in that light, it's merely a rather poetic technique? It seems to jump in time quite a bit, and I was never quite sure exactly how old the boys were, and it was only thanks to the Part 1-3 headings like "England" that gave me some clue.
Goodreads review:"So there we are, a father and two sons in a household without role models, males together in a home different from anything I'd known—an idyllic Lost Boys' world with a house full of children and as few rules as possible."When Simon Carr's wife Susie lost her battle with cancer, Carr was left to raise his 5-year old son, Alexander, on his own. Soon after, Hugo, his 11-year old son from a previous marriage comes to live with them. Now, this motley crew of boys has to learn how to be a family. Along the way, Carr reveals some illuminating truths about parenting and the differences between mothers and fathers. His messy household bears no similarity to the immaculate home his wife kept; his response to mothers on the playground fretting about his son's safety on the handlebars is, "If he falls, at least he'll know not to do it again." Emotionally honest and sharply witty, Carr's story is at once heartbreaking and wonderfully life-affirming.
I think where the THE BOYS ARE BACK (also called THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN in earlier editions) is flawed is in its severe lack of plot consistency (which coincidentally is what the movie version of the novel manages to correct). It has next to no structured plot, and reads more like a series of short stories, or excerpts on life rather than an actual novel. In saying that, its lack of structure certainly reflects the household Carr is portraying, so perhaps when taken in that light, it's merely a rather poetic technique? It seems to jump in time quite a bit, and I was never quite sure exactly how old the boys were, and it was only thanks to the Part 1-3 headings like "England" that gave me some clue.
The memoir almost reads as a self-help guide for solo dads, although at times it's more like a "what not to do" guide. Carr is at times exceptionally un-PC, heartbreakingly honest and freethinking. This book won't be for everyone, and I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people who read it completely disagree about everything he says. For example:
"Whenever you hear a parent say 'You'll put someone's eye out with that!' on average it's the mother and when you hear a parent say 'If you stretch you could get the next branch up' it usually seems to be the father... The reason fathers underestimate risk may be that we just care less than mothers do.
This isn't to say we fathers don't care, we just don't care as much. Of course we will run into burning buildings to save our little ones, but we don't feel the scrape ourselves when they scrape their knees."
However, whether you agree or disagree with Carr's liberal views, at the very least this memoir does provide a different point of view on parenting. And it made me laugh. So what more could you want in a novel?
"Whenever you hear a parent say 'You'll put someone's eye out with that!' on average it's the mother and when you hear a parent say 'If you stretch you could get the next branch up' it usually seems to be the father... The reason fathers underestimate risk may be that we just care less than mothers do.
This isn't to say we fathers don't care, we just don't care as much. Of course we will run into burning buildings to save our little ones, but we don't feel the scrape ourselves when they scrape their knees."
However, whether you agree or disagree with Carr's liberal views, at the very least this memoir does provide a different point of view on parenting. And it made me laugh. So what more could you want in a novel?
WritersBlockNZ's Verdict: 7/10
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