It's been a LONG day. I'm tired. ***News...Birth mom decided to parent the baby boy we submitted an inquiry for. Not sure how that would work seeing that he was born addicted to heroin and went through withdrawal for more than a month after his birth. (I've read that it can take up to 10 months for the drugs to fully go through his system and until that time he could show signs of withdrawal) I would guess he would go into foster care. She would have to work her case plan to get him back. (So it's very possible that someone might actually be able to adopt him one day).***
Our caseworker hasn't called in over a week. I was a bit 'peeved' when at today's visit grandma asked me what I am feeding Lil' Man. I guess Hope had to change more than one dirty diaper in the 2 hours that she had them and wasn't happy. (@@ <----- that's me rolling my eyes) Could you imagine how she'd feel if she had to change him all day every day?!?!? I digress...
Some days I feel like throwing in the towel, sending the boys back to D*S*S and living the rest of my life with this desire...hoping it will dissipate. Then I realize that this is the path I should be on right now and I pray for God's grace to get me through another day. I try HARD NOT to focus on the fact that the boys are leaving but on the fact that they are here RIGHT NOW and that they need me. They need the love, stability and consistency that our family gives them. It breaks my heart to think that they might go back to the same neglect that they came from but this is when I need to be fully trusting God...that HE has them in the palm of HIS hand and HE loves then more than I ever could. My human heart is impatient. But I know that God's timing is perfect. It's been a busy day. Hopefully tomorrow will look shiny and new. Hopefully...
1 comment:
i totally understand how you feel. i would have been so annoyed when she asked me that and WHY she asked me that. so ridiculous. on top of the fact that she didn't have to buy the diapers...
whatever, i hate when birth parents suck and they get all the benefits of the situation. at least on paper they do.
anyway, i am struggling with the same things. there is just no reason really for the to TPR her mom's rights so as long as this gets drawn out is as long as we will have her and then she will go back to this "piece of work" family. trust me, that is putting it kindly. i was going to write a post about how i have been feeling about this but i kinda am burnt out on the whole subject so i just am sticking to being mom and letting the rest go.
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