Our week was eventful...to say the least. The boys bio mom (who I have kindly referred to as 'Hope') has proved to be anything BUT hopeful. The boys visit was scheduled for earlier in the week and she actually called ME the night before to confirm the time of the visit. I rearranged my day to accommodate the visit (it hasn't REALLY been set to a specific time and day). As Arizona got off the bus he asked if we were going to see Owen (big brother...placed elsewhere) I told him that we were and his smile could have out shined the sun. This kid ADORES his big brother. SO off we went. We pulled in the driveway to find Owen's case worker and Owen ALSO waiting for Hope. Did I fail to mention that the visits have been at Hope's new apartment for the 6 weeks?? Well, here we all are in the driveway waiting for Hope. Evidently she did not show up for an earlier appointment that they had scheduled for Owen and was now not home for the visit with her boys. She WAS aware of the time and place of BOTH appointments that day because SHE called Owen's caseworker earlier that morning to confirm she'd be there. Owen's caseworker called our caseworker and he hadn't heard from her either. Owen's caseworker tried Hope and no one picked up her phone. Messages were left. I was told by my caseworker that I was free to leave after 15 minutes of waiting. For a minute I want you to imagine what Arizona (3) must have felt as pulled out of the driveway because mommy wasn't there to see him. Imagine the feelings he felt toward me!!! He kept asking "I wanna see Owen, I wanna see Owen. Can we go back to mommy's now? I wanna see Owen". As if it were my fault. I called our caseworker later in the day to ask if he'd heard from Hope. He said no. Then at about 5pm I got a phone call. It was Hope trying to explain that she was at the hospital all day with a friend who'd been in a car accident. Her friend passed away. I was honest and harsh (hey, in MY defense, she called ME!!!) I explained to her that I would NOT apologize for her to her boys. I asked her why she didn't call and get in touch with one of the caseworkers or foster parents to let us know so the boys wouldn't be waiting. I explained that the bond with her boys should have been stronger to the friendship she shared with this person and seeing that she only had 2 hours a week with her sons she should have been waiting there for US not the other way around!!! I apologized for the loss of her friend and got off the phone. I was angry. In MY mind...she should live, breathe and sleep for the visits with her sons. She should be counting down the days and preparing {all week} to see them. I was not afraid to tell her that she let them AND me down. In my book that was strike one.
I was unafraid of the consequences that I might face due to being honest with her. So when the phone rang first thing the next morning I was ready to tell the caseworker I had no regrets for tone OR the words that were used in my conversation with Hope. The caseworker proceeded to tell me that he thought I should let HIM be the 'bad guy' because I was already a threat to Hope. I understand where he is coming from and the conversation ended with a question. Did this car accident REALLY happen. Did she REALLY sit at a hospital while her friend was treated and died? Or did she just not feel like sitting with her boys for their visit... Hopefully we get answers to that question and hopefully she didn't LIE (to avoid spending time with her kids). I really hope she doesn't think she's fooling anyone. Well then yeah, I might need to change her 'blog' name...
I'm sure you can figure out what it would be...