Our time with Itty Bitty seems so short since she's with her parents most of the time.  This is the good part of foster care.  They put her in care voluntarily and they are learning how to take care of her medical needs.  She is a healthy f@ilure t0 thrive baby (if you've ever heard such a thing).  She is not a drug baby (as some have asked) she just has no sucking reflex.  They will work with the dr's getting speech therapy for her and hopefully by the time she's ready for solids...she'll be taking them by mouth.  Sprout is unaffected by Itty Bitty being here.  He is a happy, healthy boy and SO determined to 'hang with the big kids'.  He is pulling himself up on ANYTHING he can and just growing WAY too fast!!! 8 month update coming later today...  :)

New baby girl is Itty Bitty.  She is a Failure to thrive baby.  This is my first experience handling a medically fragile baby.  She has a feeding tube that was placed 3 weeks ago and is now gaining weight.  Originally placed in care VOLUNTARILY when she as just DAYS old...her original foster mom should have been made aware that this baby was going home.  Itty Bitty was with her until bios secured housing and bio mom appropriately recovered from medical issues resulting for the c-section.  Itty Bitty was returned to bios then voluntarily placed BACK in care due to her lack of weight gain.  Itty Bitty takes NOTHING by mouth.  She has NO suck reflex and gags when a bottle is placed in her mouth.  She lost a significant amout of weight to warrant her feeding tube but it seems that foster mom was developing an unhealthy attachment with Itty Bitty and she tried to sabotage the bios.  She sent the baby to visits with the bios with out certain ESSENTIAL medical supplies and with a CLOGGED feeding tube.  The Dr I saw earlier said that she remembered foster mom saying that only SHE could properly care for this baby and that the bios did not deserve her.  She also said that she could give Itty Bitty SO MUCH more than the bios.  The pediatrician remembers thinking that this foster mom is going to have a hard time giving up this baby.  Anyway, Itty Bitty is here now.  We spent Fri, Sat and Sun in the peds office fiuring things out and Sunday afternoon we were admitted to the ER and stayed till yesterday night.  She is visiting with her bio family for the next couple of days and is well on her way to being transitioned HOME.  I LOVE this part of f0ster care!!!  I have to admit taking The Screamer for respite was a bit hard when we found out that we were being admitted but I'm glad it all worked out for my family at home to help out!! The Screamer left a day early but I'm just glad to be home again.  More updates soon...     

Ok, so, Sprout was picked up for a visit this morning and instead of a 2 hour visit with bio mom, case worker returned him 30 minutes later.  He said that mom looked drowsy when he got there and he asked her why.  She said she took v1cadin for a head ache right before he came.  Well, the case worker SAW the Rx and it said ibuprofen.  Hmmm, where did she get the other stuff from!?!?  Please pray that if she IS pregnant...this baby will be safe and protected.  Baby girl will be here tonight.  I go for training this afternoon then she goes back to her bios for a few hours and back here to sleep.  I have heard that the foster parents do not yet know that she is being moved.  Not sure why it is such a secret.  I'd want to know...   Also, we have respite again this weekend (for the baby known as The Screamer) He'll be here till Tues.  Yes, you read that right...3 babies :)  Should I be scared?!??!  LoLoLoLoL 

Change of plans...

Baby girl WILL be moved here tomorrow.  Huge mix up (not on my part...will explain later).

After training for feeding tube, we will bring her home tomorrow.

Short term placement...   Pray.

The home finder called late last night to tell me that the baby will not be moved to our home because they couldn't find enough reason to move her.  I'll let you be the judge...

*Diagnosed failure to thrive
*Baby is on her way home, parents are working the case plan.
*Foster parents give the bio parents the baby and her feeding tube is clogged.
*When confronted about the clogged tube, foster dad blows a gasket and the supervisor of the agency is called.
*He gives little reason as to why the baby isn't properly taken care of.
*Bio parents complain that their daughter isn't being taken care of.
*I was told that the foster parents have complained and argued with higher ups since day one.

Baby girl spends alot of time with bios and will be going home on trial early next month.  Her special need is failure to thrive with a feeding tube.  Not sure how they could NOT move her but what do YOU think!?!?!?

I've come a long way.  I used to find myself afraid of the pain I'd be in if I lost my sweet boy.  I now find myself afraid of how I'll 'let go' when it's time for him to go to school or scrapes he'll get on the soccer field.  I got a call from the county worker and she said that paternal grandma definitely does not want to take on a baby right now AND she has been encouraging the donor bio dad to surrender his rights also.  I just can't stop smiling. 

Home finder called and asked if we'd take a special needs baby girl.  She will be here tomorrow.  More on that later....

My Dear Sweet Sprout,

        Today is a day I want to remember.  The sun was shining, the sky was as blue as your eyes and the clouds were perfectly formed white puffs in the sky.  I held you a little bit tighter and kissed your tiny little nose as you slept in my arms.  Today is the day I feel like this journey is going exactly where I want it to go.  We started out unsure of the outcome but hopeful that God was holding our hands.  Even now, I know HE is leading us.  If every day were like today, this journey would be SO much easier...but I know that life is supposed to have struggles to keep us focused on the One who holds us in His hand. Today, when your agency worker came to pick you up, he told me that your paternal grandma (your daddy's mom) decided that she has too much going on right now to take custody of you.  She met you the day you were born and was re-introduced to you 6 months later.  She has held you all of 3 times in your life.  I don't totally understand all that has been said, so I'll only explain the things I'm sure of.  I am relieved that this was her decision because you see, it means that I can keep you longer.  Your routine will stay the same and I still get to wake up to your sweet smile and your morning breath every day.  I have the chance to watch you take your first step and see the first tooth that has been the source of all this drooling.  Maybe you'll be here long enough to call me 'mama'.  I can only hope.  But for now this journey, this road we've been called (and chosen) to walk, has gotten a bit easier.  I love you, my sweet boy and we hope and pray that we get to call you ours forever.  xox

I suffer from insomnia.  There are MANY nights I lay awake in my bed and try to shut down by brain enough to help me fall asleep.  Before Sprout came to us,  I used to try to think 'happy thoughts' so maybe I could just float away into dream land.  Every night before bed I would think about a tiny boy, all swaddled up, handed to me to love forever.  He's here now :)

The agency worker told me last week that he had to contact paternal g-ma for a visit this month.  I thought SHE had to contact HIM. It was kind of hard to hide my disappointment.  I figured if she didn't call yet that maybe she was backing down.  When the worker came to transport Sprout yesterday  he explained that the reason he is contacting paternal grandma is because he told her he would.  But he also said that he and the county worker will be confronting her on why her paperwork has not been submitted yet and to see if she truly does want to raise Sprout.  They will explain to her that there is no pressure and she doesn't HAVE TO take custody.  If she does back down, they will then approach bio donor (in prison) and talk about surrendering his rights.  Their feeling is that there is no reason to prolong the inevitable.  Bio mom has not made one full week of visits since April.  Things do not look well for her.  We're still caught in the in-between.  I still haven't painted the nursery walls.  While I trust that I serve a HUGE God...my faith just isn't there...yet! :)

Is it horrible for me to be counting down till December?!?!  I know I am a foster parent FIRST!!! But I cannot begin to tell you how much I LOVE this boy.  I desperately want him to be a part of our forever family.  He captures the hearts of everyone who meets him and when they hear his story...I know they walk away and say a silent prayer that he's found his home.  Today is August 1st.  I have had this sweet boy for 7 months and 12 days.  Our state has a bonding law.  If the child is in your home for 12 months you have just as much 'right' to him as any relative.  Well, we only have 5 months left.