I decided to do a recession special for my 32nd birthday and have a house party.
A friend was gracious enough to let us use her house and we had a blast on Saturday, August 13 (the day of my birthday). Party started at 7:30 p.m. and went till 4 a.m. I left at 2 a.m. (my designated driver was ready then) so I have no direct knowledge of any crazy activities that happened after 2 a.m. On that account, I plead the fifth.
Unlike my two celebrations last year (happy hour and then a party at a lounge) and the year before for the big 3-0 (celebrated in five different cities over the course of 2 months and a beach day), I decided to take it down a notch and do something relatively simple.
The cost of admission: a plate of food, drinks (water, soda or alcohol) or dessert. So, no need to cry poverty over the cost of getting into a lounge or getting me a real gift...just bring yourself and something to keep people from getting hungry or thirsty.
Over the span of 9 hours, I believe we had somewhere between 50-60 people roll through for the party. We had an indoor party going and an outdoor party going (until it started pouring) and everyone went inside.
Unlike last year when I kissed a woman on the lips at happy hour and didn't get smacked there were no crazy moments from me that I can remember. I did have a unique offer for the ladies this year. If a woman was willing to kiss me on the cheek (I would do one vodka shot), if she was willing to kiss me on the lips (2 shots). I probably had about 6-8 vodka shots and combine that with the 3 jello shots and the several mix drinks I had that night, I was D-O-N-E!
I did get propositioned that night from a woman that's been after me for a while but I'm not sure I want to take her up on that offer. She's divorced with two grown ass kids in college and not particularly my type physically. So, I can't quite call her a MILF unless I override my aforementioned apprehension about her. There were a few cuties that I definitely want to get to know more...so I'll be following up with them to see if there is some chemistry there or not.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
To Go or Not to Go?
I saw this scenario posted on a message board and I had to repeat it and discuss it.
Hypothetical: You had a pretty nasty break up with a person you thought was the love of your life. A year later, you receive an invitation in the mail to attend your ex's wedding. Would you go? Why or why not?
Nasty break up, former love of your life and wedding invitation don't go together.
I could understand if it was an amicable breakup and you remained friends and got a wedding invitation in the mail a year later. At least that scenario is plausible in my mind. But this situation? No @#$%^ way.
Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.
Who does that?
It sounds like the person getting married isn't over you and just wants to rub it in your face by actually taking the time to mail you a wedding invitation.
It is one thing if you found out by accident (bumping into a mutual friend who told you, you found out on Facebook or some other social networking tool, a family member knows the other person and told you or someone from your community, church or social organization revealed the information) but it is another level of arrogance to go to the extreme of mailing someone a wedding invitation and to the highest level of arrogance if you caused the nasty breakup.
Hmm...what would I do with the invitation if someone did this to me?
My first thought would be to put it through my shredder and mail it back the remnants to the SOB that sent it to me.
But a more practical response would be to just throw it in the trash (unopened) and never respond. It would serve them right for wasting a first-class stamp.
Hypothetical: You had a pretty nasty break up with a person you thought was the love of your life. A year later, you receive an invitation in the mail to attend your ex's wedding. Would you go? Why or why not?
Nasty break up, former love of your life and wedding invitation don't go together.
I could understand if it was an amicable breakup and you remained friends and got a wedding invitation in the mail a year later. At least that scenario is plausible in my mind. But this situation? No @#$%^ way.
Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.
Who does that?
It sounds like the person getting married isn't over you and just wants to rub it in your face by actually taking the time to mail you a wedding invitation.
It is one thing if you found out by accident (bumping into a mutual friend who told you, you found out on Facebook or some other social networking tool, a family member knows the other person and told you or someone from your community, church or social organization revealed the information) but it is another level of arrogance to go to the extreme of mailing someone a wedding invitation and to the highest level of arrogance if you caused the nasty breakup.
Hmm...what would I do with the invitation if someone did this to me?
My first thought would be to put it through my shredder and mail it back the remnants to the SOB that sent it to me.
But a more practical response would be to just throw it in the trash (unopened) and never respond. It would serve them right for wasting a first-class stamp.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Missing the 2011 Essence Music Festival
I have to avoid Facebook, Twitter and every other social networking site from July 1 to July 3.
Why?
That's the dates of this year's Essence Music Festival and I SHOULD BE THERE.
My problem was that I depended on a few people to be my roommates for the trip (one of them being Ms. S) but when it was all said and done none of them had the cash to do the trip and there was no way I could do an EMF trip solo since I had $$$ committed to seveal other things this summer.
#newrulefor2012
No more depending on roommates for future vacations or if someone wants to roll with me they need to make a cash deposit at the time of interest and follow through on a payment plan. I can't have someone else #$%&*-ing up my vacation again.
I went to EMF in 2010 and had a blast and so wanted to go this year. But I feel there is a reason I'm not there and if my punishment is hearing about all the fun that people are having...then so be it. I brought this upon myself by putting my trust in the wrong people.
I might still be able to do a smaller vacation for Columbus Day weekend (Miami...maybe) but we'll see.
So, if you are going to the Essence Music Festival this year...have a drink for me...and send me the picture to torture me some more. I need to never forget this lesson.
Why?
That's the dates of this year's Essence Music Festival and I SHOULD BE THERE.
My problem was that I depended on a few people to be my roommates for the trip (one of them being Ms. S) but when it was all said and done none of them had the cash to do the trip and there was no way I could do an EMF trip solo since I had $$$ committed to seveal other things this summer.
#newrulefor2012
No more depending on roommates for future vacations or if someone wants to roll with me they need to make a cash deposit at the time of interest and follow through on a payment plan. I can't have someone else #$%&*-ing up my vacation again.
I went to EMF in 2010 and had a blast and so wanted to go this year. But I feel there is a reason I'm not there and if my punishment is hearing about all the fun that people are having...then so be it. I brought this upon myself by putting my trust in the wrong people.
I might still be able to do a smaller vacation for Columbus Day weekend (Miami...maybe) but we'll see.
So, if you are going to the Essence Music Festival this year...have a drink for me...and send me the picture to torture me some more. I need to never forget this lesson.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
The wedding question
I attended the wedding of a high school friend on Saturday, June 25. She was getting married and of course I bumped into some old friends back from the neighborhood.
We started talking about how our lives have changed (they are all married now). I was the only single man in the group.
So naturally, the "wedding question" came up.
"So when are we going to see your wedding?"
I smiled, then laughed and gave the most honest answer I could.
"Well, I would first need a girlfriend and then eventually make her my fiance before there could be any wedding. Since I'm single and not dating anyone right now, I'll have to start at square one. Trust me, when or if I get married, you'll be the first to know."
I put a little emphasis on the "if I get married" part to give a subtle hint that I didn't want to continue down this line of questioning. At least not at my high school friends' wedding, I didn't think that was the appropriate place to have this discussion.
Now...this is why I hate going to weddings solo and especially if I am single, like I am now. If I were in a relationship and my girlfriend was with me at the wedding, we could say soon. Even if she wasn't there, I could jokingly blame it on her having cold feet.
Maybe, I am too sensitive about this question.
So far, there has only been one woman I was going to propose to (she knows who she is...so I'm not going to put her on blast) but that never happened for various reasons.
In some slight way, I've compared every woman I've dated since that time to her. There have been a few possibilities but none strong enough for me to actually buy a ring and I've told everyone that would listen to me if I get married, I'm only doing it once. So, I have to get it right.
So, I have very little margin for error.
Lately, I've met and been attracted to some amazing women that looked good on paper (well-educated, career focused, homeowners, drove great cars, have $$$ in the bank, etc)...all the materialistic things in order. But materialistic things have never motivated or impressed me.
I want someone that is compatible with the way I think about life (how to earn, spend and save $$$, someone that wants to get married and believes marriage is a partnership, someone that wants kids and will agree with me on how to raise them, someone that believes that you never forget your friends, someone that isn't selfish, obnoxious or stingy, someone that is truly looking for a life partner...etc. I'm looking for the intangibles that make a woman stand out from the crowd and not something that you can brag about on a resume, deed, bank statement or any other piece of paper.
Which got me thinking. I've lived 27 of my 31 years on this earth in the Northeast part of the United States and the first four years of my life in Jamaica. It might be time to move (not necessarily for love) but just a fresh start as I'm just starting out in my 30s. I would love to live some place warmer, some place where the cost of living is much lower and some place where there are tons of single, beautiful, successful black women that want to meet a single black man. I would be willing to compromise on the weather part and maybe the cost of living part if there are tons of single, beautiful, successful black women that lived there.
I've narrowed down a few places and will check out the logistics soon. So hopefully the next time I talk about weddings, I'll have an answer to "the wedding question."
We started talking about how our lives have changed (they are all married now). I was the only single man in the group.
So naturally, the "wedding question" came up.
"So when are we going to see your wedding?"
I smiled, then laughed and gave the most honest answer I could.
"Well, I would first need a girlfriend and then eventually make her my fiance before there could be any wedding. Since I'm single and not dating anyone right now, I'll have to start at square one. Trust me, when or if I get married, you'll be the first to know."
I put a little emphasis on the "if I get married" part to give a subtle hint that I didn't want to continue down this line of questioning. At least not at my high school friends' wedding, I didn't think that was the appropriate place to have this discussion.
Now...this is why I hate going to weddings solo and especially if I am single, like I am now. If I were in a relationship and my girlfriend was with me at the wedding, we could say soon. Even if she wasn't there, I could jokingly blame it on her having cold feet.
Maybe, I am too sensitive about this question.
So far, there has only been one woman I was going to propose to (she knows who she is...so I'm not going to put her on blast) but that never happened for various reasons.
In some slight way, I've compared every woman I've dated since that time to her. There have been a few possibilities but none strong enough for me to actually buy a ring and I've told everyone that would listen to me if I get married, I'm only doing it once. So, I have to get it right.
So, I have very little margin for error.
Lately, I've met and been attracted to some amazing women that looked good on paper (well-educated, career focused, homeowners, drove great cars, have $$$ in the bank, etc)...all the materialistic things in order. But materialistic things have never motivated or impressed me.
I want someone that is compatible with the way I think about life (how to earn, spend and save $$$, someone that wants to get married and believes marriage is a partnership, someone that wants kids and will agree with me on how to raise them, someone that believes that you never forget your friends, someone that isn't selfish, obnoxious or stingy, someone that is truly looking for a life partner...etc. I'm looking for the intangibles that make a woman stand out from the crowd and not something that you can brag about on a resume, deed, bank statement or any other piece of paper.
Which got me thinking. I've lived 27 of my 31 years on this earth in the Northeast part of the United States and the first four years of my life in Jamaica. It might be time to move (not necessarily for love) but just a fresh start as I'm just starting out in my 30s. I would love to live some place warmer, some place where the cost of living is much lower and some place where there are tons of single, beautiful, successful black women that want to meet a single black man. I would be willing to compromise on the weather part and maybe the cost of living part if there are tons of single, beautiful, successful black women that lived there.
I've narrowed down a few places and will check out the logistics soon. So hopefully the next time I talk about weddings, I'll have an answer to "the wedding question."
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Fights, Frustration, the Finale
I'm a writer by trade and I haven't written on this blog in five months.
There is no excuse for it.
But if I may offer a feeble one, I was busying dating Ms. S but that's over now.
I plan on being a free agent for at least the rest of the summer and then I'll see what type of free agent offers are out there come September. The next relationship, if there is to be one any time soon, will definitely be on my terms. I know for a fact that I compromised way too much with Ms. S and in two tries with her, I still had to let her go...TWICE. It was a roller coaster ride for eight months of the past year and five months with too many highs and lows to count.
One day, I'll be able to look infamous TV reporter Jim Grey in the eyes and say "I'm taking my talents to (insert some exotic destination)" like Lebron James did with his "decision." My hope is that the woman of my dreams also lives there. lol.
As I raise a glass of champagne to celebrate a new beginning, a quick look back on how I got here with Ms. S was simple.
I knew the relationship was headed downhill with no chance for recovery when we had a very uncomfortable and slightly public fight on New Year's Eve 2010 in front of her friends in a very crowded hotel room.
She told me the evening was going to be one way. It turned out to totally different. I was very uncomfortable from the start and after I had all I could stand, I politely said I wanted to leave. She didn't and told me I had to stay because she was staying and it would look bad if I left. When I gathered my things and waved goodbye to her friends and headed for the door. She grabbed her things and hastily said goodbye and caught up with me. We argued the entire way to her place and after about 20 minutes...I had tuned her out. Her lips were moving, she made menacing facial expressions but her words weren't audible. We eventually made up over the big fight but our relationship was never the same. I knew this day was coming and the expiration date was April 3, 2011. In one last attempt to salvage what I thought could be a dynamic relationship (when we were on the same page) went by the wayside when I cooked a romantic dinner for two at my place and she kept interrupting our dinner to text her schoolmate about a graduate class she was taking. It was an utter sign of disrespect that I'll never forget.
We briefly reconnected with a lot of tension in mid-April and that lasted until June 12 our last fight via phone over her not wanting to come to my place for once. I ALWAYS drove an hour and a half to go to her place with very little resistance but I had to beg her to come to my place.
I was done begging and after 30 minutes of going back and forth...I hung up the phone on her in frustration. It was a bad move on my part and I called back a couple minutes later to apologize. She cursed me out and said she never wanted to talk to me again. I called back one more time to apologize again and she gave me a stone cold attitude. We haven't spoken since.
There is no excuse for it.
But if I may offer a feeble one, I was busying dating Ms. S but that's over now.
I plan on being a free agent for at least the rest of the summer and then I'll see what type of free agent offers are out there come September. The next relationship, if there is to be one any time soon, will definitely be on my terms. I know for a fact that I compromised way too much with Ms. S and in two tries with her, I still had to let her go...TWICE. It was a roller coaster ride for eight months of the past year and five months with too many highs and lows to count.
One day, I'll be able to look infamous TV reporter Jim Grey in the eyes and say "I'm taking my talents to (insert some exotic destination)" like Lebron James did with his "decision." My hope is that the woman of my dreams also lives there. lol.
As I raise a glass of champagne to celebrate a new beginning, a quick look back on how I got here with Ms. S was simple.
I knew the relationship was headed downhill with no chance for recovery when we had a very uncomfortable and slightly public fight on New Year's Eve 2010 in front of her friends in a very crowded hotel room.
She told me the evening was going to be one way. It turned out to totally different. I was very uncomfortable from the start and after I had all I could stand, I politely said I wanted to leave. She didn't and told me I had to stay because she was staying and it would look bad if I left. When I gathered my things and waved goodbye to her friends and headed for the door. She grabbed her things and hastily said goodbye and caught up with me. We argued the entire way to her place and after about 20 minutes...I had tuned her out. Her lips were moving, she made menacing facial expressions but her words weren't audible. We eventually made up over the big fight but our relationship was never the same. I knew this day was coming and the expiration date was April 3, 2011. In one last attempt to salvage what I thought could be a dynamic relationship (when we were on the same page) went by the wayside when I cooked a romantic dinner for two at my place and she kept interrupting our dinner to text her schoolmate about a graduate class she was taking. It was an utter sign of disrespect that I'll never forget.
We briefly reconnected with a lot of tension in mid-April and that lasted until June 12 our last fight via phone over her not wanting to come to my place for once. I ALWAYS drove an hour and a half to go to her place with very little resistance but I had to beg her to come to my place.
I was done begging and after 30 minutes of going back and forth...I hung up the phone on her in frustration. It was a bad move on my part and I called back a couple minutes later to apologize. She cursed me out and said she never wanted to talk to me again. I called back one more time to apologize again and she gave me a stone cold attitude. We haven't spoken since.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Christmas Shopping
I wanted to surprise her. But I thought better of it.
About a month or so ago...I asked her to give me a list of things she wanted for Christmas. She said a Louis Vutton purse, some dishes (two-tone and square), some Coach boots, a picture for condo and something else that I can't remember.
She's very particular about what she likes and I didn't want her to have to return it. So, I said...let's go Christmas shopping together. She smiled.
We went to her favorite store, Macy's. We went in there for boots and came out with some perfume and makeup. She gave me a big hug and kiss for giving her the Christmas gift early. She got her birthday gift early too and that was tickets to the OMG Tour featuring Usher, Trey Songz and Miguel.
About a month or so ago...I asked her to give me a list of things she wanted for Christmas. She said a Louis Vutton purse, some dishes (two-tone and square), some Coach boots, a picture for condo and something else that I can't remember.
She's very particular about what she likes and I didn't want her to have to return it. So, I said...let's go Christmas shopping together. She smiled.
We went to her favorite store, Macy's. We went in there for boots and came out with some perfume and makeup. She gave me a big hug and kiss for giving her the Christmas gift early. She got her birthday gift early too and that was tickets to the OMG Tour featuring Usher, Trey Songz and Miguel.
Sunday, December 05, 2010
Thanksgiving Weekend
I've finally been able to catch my breath
Just imagine in the span of four days over Thanksgiving weekend I met Ms. S's whole family and we went to two weddings together. Madness.
It started with me working on Thanksgiving morning. I got to Ms. S's grandmother's house and her brother is the first to meet me. He's outside on the phone and he says "you must be spchrist...Ms. S's guest". I nod nervously and he opens the door to let me in. I walk into the kitchen and there are like six family members seated in the kitchen giving me the "who the heck is this dude look." I wave shyly and announce that I'm Ms. S's guest. I then see Ms. S's grandmother and she says "welcome" and tells me that Ms. S is in the living room. I walk into the living room and like 10 more family members are giving me the "up and down look" and Ms. S comes over and gives me a hug.
She asks if I'm hungry I then fixed me a plate of food. I ate like 3 plates of food and then 2 servings of ice cream. I wasn't necessarily that hungry but it kept me from having to make too much small talk with family members I didn't know. lol. The house was overcrowded with like 15 adults and like 10 children and I kept bumping into little kids or adults trying to move from one place to another. Later in the evening (I got there at 3 p.m.) I was able to have a detailed conversation with some family members and I was able to relax a little bit. We spent like 8 hours at her grandmother's place before heading home to her place.
The next day...we went to a wedding of one of her friends, which was about 15 minutes from where she lives. It was a little awkward because her friend is white and I don't know anyone at the wedding and she knows the bridge and groom and a few other people. So, I have to make small talk with complete strangers of another race while she talks with a few people that I know. The wedding started at 6 p.m. and we left at 11:30 p.m. I avoided as many landmines as I could but one dude was starting to annoy me. He was the husband of one of the bridesmaid and met Ms. S at a Halloween party that he and his wife hosted. So after the initial "Hi...how are you" type stuff he's constantly in Ms. S's ear about something. I'm saying to myself why in the world is he talking to her so much and WHERE THE HECK IS HIS WIFE? After giving her a polite tug and then pulling her onto the dance floor to get away from him, I explain to her that he's driving me nuts and I want to leave. She doesn't want to go and pleads to stay a little longer. So, we switch seats (so I'm sitting next to dude now) and she's sitting in my seat and dude still leans around me to say something to her. I wanted to SCREAM. lol. I was like we're done...and I'm leaving. She sort of had no choice...since I drove...and I figured 5.5 hours at a wedding of a bunch of strange white people is all I could take.
Two days after that, we go to a wedding of two of my friends (she knew a few people at the wedding too). We sat next to a couple I knew at the wedding at the cocktail hour and we were enjoying our conversation with them. I saw a female friend I hadn't seen in a while and I politely excused myself and told Ms. S..I would be right back. I only walked like 10 feet and I was talking with the friend for about 10 minutes. I come back over to the table and Ms. S has this "oh you are in trouble look" and I shoot her back this playful look like oh really? While seated at the reception table, she made a sarcastic comment about me talking to another female friend for like 5 minutes..."oh would you like to sit next to your friend...so ya'll can talk. I shot her a look back "like cut it out". The small of tension subsided later in the evening as we spent 8 hours at my friend's wedding before leaving to go back to her place.
Just imagine in the span of four days over Thanksgiving weekend I met Ms. S's whole family and we went to two weddings together. Madness.
It started with me working on Thanksgiving morning. I got to Ms. S's grandmother's house and her brother is the first to meet me. He's outside on the phone and he says "you must be spchrist...Ms. S's guest". I nod nervously and he opens the door to let me in. I walk into the kitchen and there are like six family members seated in the kitchen giving me the "who the heck is this dude look." I wave shyly and announce that I'm Ms. S's guest. I then see Ms. S's grandmother and she says "welcome" and tells me that Ms. S is in the living room. I walk into the living room and like 10 more family members are giving me the "up and down look" and Ms. S comes over and gives me a hug.
She asks if I'm hungry I then fixed me a plate of food. I ate like 3 plates of food and then 2 servings of ice cream. I wasn't necessarily that hungry but it kept me from having to make too much small talk with family members I didn't know. lol. The house was overcrowded with like 15 adults and like 10 children and I kept bumping into little kids or adults trying to move from one place to another. Later in the evening (I got there at 3 p.m.) I was able to have a detailed conversation with some family members and I was able to relax a little bit. We spent like 8 hours at her grandmother's place before heading home to her place.
The next day...we went to a wedding of one of her friends, which was about 15 minutes from where she lives. It was a little awkward because her friend is white and I don't know anyone at the wedding and she knows the bridge and groom and a few other people. So, I have to make small talk with complete strangers of another race while she talks with a few people that I know. The wedding started at 6 p.m. and we left at 11:30 p.m. I avoided as many landmines as I could but one dude was starting to annoy me. He was the husband of one of the bridesmaid and met Ms. S at a Halloween party that he and his wife hosted. So after the initial "Hi...how are you" type stuff he's constantly in Ms. S's ear about something. I'm saying to myself why in the world is he talking to her so much and WHERE THE HECK IS HIS WIFE? After giving her a polite tug and then pulling her onto the dance floor to get away from him, I explain to her that he's driving me nuts and I want to leave. She doesn't want to go and pleads to stay a little longer. So, we switch seats (so I'm sitting next to dude now) and she's sitting in my seat and dude still leans around me to say something to her. I wanted to SCREAM. lol. I was like we're done...and I'm leaving. She sort of had no choice...since I drove...and I figured 5.5 hours at a wedding of a bunch of strange white people is all I could take.
Two days after that, we go to a wedding of two of my friends (she knew a few people at the wedding too). We sat next to a couple I knew at the wedding at the cocktail hour and we were enjoying our conversation with them. I saw a female friend I hadn't seen in a while and I politely excused myself and told Ms. S..I would be right back. I only walked like 10 feet and I was talking with the friend for about 10 minutes. I come back over to the table and Ms. S has this "oh you are in trouble look" and I shoot her back this playful look like oh really? While seated at the reception table, she made a sarcastic comment about me talking to another female friend for like 5 minutes..."oh would you like to sit next to your friend...so ya'll can talk. I shot her a look back "like cut it out". The small of tension subsided later in the evening as we spent 8 hours at my friend's wedding before leaving to go back to her place.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
