Uncle Bear's Column - My Neighbours Want to Whack me!!

Dear Uncle Bear,

I can't stand my neighbours anymore. Day after day they try to whack me for no reason at all. I swear upon my leather sofa that I did not do anything to them at all! Maybe except throwing a few stones to their windows first and smashing their car's windscreen but that's nothing serious right? But those bastards wanted me dead!! So they are the evil ones right?

You know what's even worse? They try to whack my children when they could not find me! Not that I am a coward or anything... I mean my life is more important than my kid's. If I am dead who will feed the family? Therefore I am forced into hiding while sacrificing a few of my kids (I have 20 so 1 or 2 dead is fine by me) ... But still those kids are innocent!

Anyway, you got to tell me what to do Uncle Bear! I can't stand them anymore!!

From,
Mr. Teh Loh Lis
Taman Timur Tengah



Dear Teh,

You bloody ball-less coward. If you want your neighbours to stop whacking your family day in and day out, why don't you just stop running and face them like a man. And do remember it is you who throw stones at his house first and that just given him the right to wipe your ass all over Taman Timur Tengah.

After said that, yes I do agree that your neighbours should stop targeting your kids. After all they are not the ones throwing the stones to your neighbours. Maybe to stop that you could place a Mr. Teh Loh Lis is here sign wherever you run to a corner and hide. Maybe that would stop them from whacking your kids. Or alternatively you could pick up Wing Chun and kick the living hell out of your neighbour while looking cool (didn't you watch Ip Man?).

Now if you would excuse me, I have some salmon to catch.

Uncle Bear




This post is actually inspired from my lil' brother's post here.

My take on Tibet

This Monty Python clip from their movie Life of Brian is exactly what I think about Tibet:



China had given Tibet so much development these past years and yet the Tibetans insists on gaining independence. Well IMHO, China should give them what they want and let the Tibetans come back begging to join them after 10 years.

Don't Download This Song

If you think that every recording artists are pricks that supported the RIAA's (Record Industry Association of America) approach in dealing with downloaders (READ: SUING 12 YEAR OLDS FOR DOWNLOADING MUSIC OFF THE NET') and wanting to squeeze every single dime (or sen) out of us consumers you are wrong.

In comes "Weird Al" Yankovic, yeap the man who brought you all those uber funny parodies of songs such as You're Pitiful (a parody of You're Beautiful), Fat (Michael Jackson's Bad) and Amish Paradise (Gangsta's Paradise) with his latest song "Don't Download This Song". In this song he satirizes the actions of the RI-double-A and making fun of Metallica (remember the has-beens who went on a p2p witch hunt just because nobody is buying their music anymore during the 90s which brought the death of Napsters? Yeah its those guys).

"To add insult to injury" to quote Faz , Weird Al let's you to download his song for free from his album's website. Now what are you waiting for? Go download it here (don't worry it's legal). Now that's what I call a recording artist with class.

Malaysia Memang Boleh Episode III

As usual Malaysia is in the news for the wrong reasons. This time our government is blamed for failing to act on the piracy issue. Read the article on BBC here.

Well according to the article we are rank no.1 in the piracy game. This is the 2nd report I had come across stating Malaysia as the biggest exporter in pirated softwares, music and movies. The last one being last year which was reported by Gamespot. It seem that after a year Malaysia is still being able to maintain its position as a "superpower" in the pirated software, music and movies industry. Maybe soon you will see billboards on the roads stating "Terima Kasih, kerana sokongan anda, negara kami telah dinobatkan dalam 3 kategori iaitu 'Biggest Exporter of Pirated Software', 'Biggest Exporter of Pirated Software' dan 'Biggest Exporter of Pirated Software'" which is endorsed by the Government.

My God... Again?

Just when you thought lightning never strike twice at the same place, Bali is bombed again. Damn you terrorists, why can't you go identify the real enemy and leave civilians out of the picture?

Guess the least we can do now is say a short prayer for those victims.

There is no peace without war....

That's a conclusion that I had made after playing Rome: Total War. Nope, this entry is not a review or anything about the game. Its all about this conclusion that I had come up. This might sound harsh but let's face it, that's how this World goes since men ever set foot of this God-given world. If any of you ever read history you find these 2 disturbing cycles. It's either:


Cycle 1
1. Building of a civilisation (or founding of a nation)

2. Civilisation/nation enters its golden ages.

3. Inner conflict

4. Civil War

5. Revolution

6. Peace for a period of time.

7. Repeat step 2 to 6.


OR:


Cycle 2
1. Building of a civilisation (or founding of a nation)

2. Civilisation/nation enters its golden ages.

3. Neighbouring nation/civilisation fear you might be a threat.

4. Invasion by a foreign nation.

5. War.

6. If the nation lost, they get conquered and then it will be a few years before the conquered nation fought back until they gain "independence".

If they are NOT conquered they will either:
a) Get attacked again
b) Strike back/Attack others
c) Read cycle 1.

7. Peace for a period of time

8. Repeat steps 2 to 6.

Here's a few examples of cycle one. This happened Right after Qin had finally unite the whole of China, Shi Huangdi died and left a huge political vacuum. All his ministers tried to fill this vacuum by fighting with each other to become emperor. Later an army of peasants led by Liu Bang revolted and then the Han dynasty was form. Peace was then restored, the Han dynasty prospered until the Yellow Turban rebellion . This cycle will repeat for a number of 16 times until the communist China we know of today. Another example of cycle one can be seen after the death of Alexander the Great. Alexander died without leaving an heir which cause his great empire to be seperated into 4 parts. Each of them wanted to take over his empire. Of course later none of it were able to unify the lands and was later either absorbed by the Roman Empire or been conquered by the Parthians.

Quake II - Sumatra

Since nearly every Malaysian blog is talking about the earthquake which hit Sumatra a few days back, I might as well hop in the bandwagon. Unlike the quake last year the death toll is only a fraction of it. Still 400 is a big sum (as of writing time). My condolences and sympathy to the family members of the people affected.

On the positive side, at least you won't see all those corporate hypocrites donating huge sum of money just to get publicity. Why pour in millions of ringgit only when some big natural disaster which happens once in a blue moon and not those unfortunate people we see in everyday life? Also you won't see tens of millions of ringgit disappear into the pockets of corrupted officials.

Hopefully the next time there is a major quake it would be directly under the White House with the Georgy in it.