Unsure.

How I wish i could say I'm perfectly focused and know what I want to do in the future. Every time I go for one of those bloody talks, kena brainwash. It's always like that. Oh wow, engineering sounds great!
*for a long time..*
"never gonna be an engineer."

Oh wow, psychology sounds interesting!
*for an even longer time..*
"I hate psychologist."

Oh wow, Law sounds wonderful!
... Well actually, up to form 3 I wanted to be a lawyer xP Then I started thinking less about money and justice since it's a rotten, rotten world to live in. Justice, my ass. This world can't be saved! Even the speaker blatantly went on about how everyone's moneyfaced nowadays.
Young, naive thoughts about righteousness and defending the innocent. Bah. After some personal issues I came to realize that Money makes the world go round, money makes the guilty innocent (and vice-versa), money this money that, money money money.
"Ah fuggit, I'm going to be an academe." (That's just a small part of the reason though.)

Yay I discovered [blahs]!!!! OH SHEETS NO SPONSORS!! CASHLESS!! No money for research!
Oh sheets! children need education and I haven't secured a proper high-paying job in academia!!!
Hey looky! It's ks/lm/bren/ly/sp/yh/jh/wj/gy/tk/he/ha/mel!! Wow, a rolls! *twitch*
I'd love to be able to look at everyone else who's doing much better than me, monetarily, and say "I'm totally satisfied doing what I'm doing."
But then that'd be lying.
To make money in what I want to do, you have to either
1) discover something AMAZING and profitable.
2) work for a company and make lots of money doing stuff only partly related to your degree. Ivy grads get anywhere, doesn't matter about the course you took.

At the moment, I'm torn between money and job satisfaction. Hard to have both when you've got my mindset and dislike half the jobs in the world.


How nice if life were like this, multiple characters.

The Deathly Hallows
Highlight to read it, i don't spoil books! ;p


Kaaay few things I'm not satisfied.
1. Ron and Hermione

Ron can go marry his damned sister for all I care, Harry should be the one getting Hermione!!! Idiots. Btw, there are whooole forums dedicated to Harry x Hermione, and anti-Ron x Hermione xD read that one wikipedia. So i'm not the ONLY one thinking like that. Oh, someone posted this (coutesy of wiki):
"That woman [Rowling] has completely destroyed my faith in ever having a real relationship."
Stupid Ronald Weasley.

2. Bad Ending

Not satisfied with the ending. Sure everyone's happy, but I'd have liked to read about what the aftereffects were, not 19-fucking-years later. I know, I know, "use your imagination!!!"
Shutup, ya grand Git. I'd like to see how Rowling puts it. Y'know, how Hogwarts, the Ministry and the whole wizarding community in general picked themselves up.
MY SPECULATION: ROWLING WILL RELEASE A FOLLOW-UP REGARDING THAT. SHE WILL SHE WILL SHE WILL.

3. OVERUSE OF SO #$%^& MANY DEUS EX MACHINA.
She did it more subtly in the other books. The whole damn book was a huuuge one. Deathly Hallows, pfft. A lot of the stuff that "happened to fit into the puzzle" was mentioned ONLY in the 7th book itself. If she had planned them beforehand she could have slipped more bits into the previous books and it would seem less... suddenly made-up. Dunno on purpose or what but still kinda.... meh.

4. Life and Death

Those whom , I wouldn't have minded, or have liked to see die, but didn't.
in no particular order,
-Lucius Malfoy
-Bellatrix Lestrange (woulda liked to see her suffer alot then die)
-Slughorn (die while running away)
-Rita Skeeter
-Dolores Umbridge (plain and simply put, I hate her. Mean old biddy.)
-Mr OR Mrs. Weasley, for impact.
-Whiny Bitch Pansy Parkinson
-Vernon/Petunia. OR, not and.
-Ginny.
-Ron. Meant in the sense of "if I had to choose between one of the three to die".

Those whom , I wouldn't have minded, or have liked to see die, who did.
-at least a dozen Death Eaters, not many in particular.
-Pettigrew (dying to save Harry AS I PREDICTED)
-Snape. This one, I wouldn't mind him dying, but him alive wouldn't be bad, since I KNEW IT I KNEW IT HE'S A GOOD GUY EAT THAT YOU NON-BELIEVERS IN 2005 Duh.
-Harry. AND I PRAISE MY GREAT FORESIGHT AGAIN, it was So obvious something like that was gonna happen, the whole thing at "King's Cross".
-A twin, just for impact again.
-Scrimgeour
-whoever would succeed him in that time (Thicknesse)

Those whom, I wouldn't have minded, or have liked to see them live, who didnt.
-Lupin
-Tonks
-Moody
-Hedwig
-The Twins (contradictory, eh?)
-Dobby
-Voldemort, like... a fragment of him trapped somewhere lol.

Those whom, I wouldn't have minded, or have liked to see them live, who did.
-Harry, partly for the want of a follow-up 20 years from now. Not a sequel. I don't want a sequel.
-Hermione, cause she rocks ;p
-Draco Malfoy, just to see what he would do, whether he'd blahs.
-Cho Chang, to mess up Harry and Hermione
JUST AS A POINT, no one likes love triangles in real life, but it's pretty interesting to read about them, so there /pif
-Bill and Fleur, to see how they'd turn out.
-Kreacher. I KNEW HE WASN'T EVIL.
-Luna! she's fun xD
-McGonagall
-Flitwick
-Longbottom, not much though. Wouldn't have minded saja.
-Hagrid (Grawp... indifferent.)

5. Sirius Black.

He should have played a bigger role. WHAT ABOUT THE ARCH?! WTF IS THE ARCH. They implied he wasn't dead, but NoOOOoOOoOoo he just has to remain dead for want of a thinner book. Nah jkjk(rowling!). Meh, he was a likable one.

6. RON AND HERMIONE.

ANYWAYS
Overall, I'd say it bests book 3 for the top-spot in my views. I particularly liked 1, 3 and 7. 4 not so bad. 2 5 6 ... can't say bad, some bits of them were Very good, but kinda lengthy at points.
In contrast, 7 is the most fast-paced one, book was over before I knew it! Fast-paced... or hurried? Fast-paced. Will reread. Really liked the Hogwarts part. Shoulda seen the AHA!ness on my face when Snape turned out to be a goody-good. The on-the-run part was nice too, only briefly (some parts weren't as good.. but good)
Kesimpulannya, buy the book and read. Or just read it somehow, steal it, mug someone, even me, and read. Good book.

On Life and the Stars.

Have any of you ever taken the time to stop, and think about how insignificantly small we are? Sometimes, I'm overcome by a profound feeling, a feeling that encompasses myself; Why are we here? Why was I born here, not there, born human not dog, born on Earth...or simply, why do we even exist?
The 'correct' answer would be, we exist be cause we do. Makes shit for sense but it's the closest thing to anything acceptable.
Dubious.

In form 3, we learned that the nearest star to us, Alpha Smthrather, is 4.3-or-so light years away. That means that light takes 4.3-or-so years to reach us.
One implication would be that if Alpha Whatsit were to just go supernova, we'd only see it 4.3 years later, since the light from the explosion would only reach our eyes then.
In other words, if you were to steal a moment of your daily.. Nightly routine to go outside and just look up, and if you were to see a star explode, or maybe just disappear...
It actually happened years ago. We're looking at the past, the history, of everything, when we look up.

This *tangentially* involves my personal issues.
I've been thinking shit like this for as long as I can remember, about us being specks of sand on a vast, vast beach. Today it was especially striking. I was thinking, about my dreams... I want to do physics/be a musician/be really rich. If they be realized....
So What?
Kay, Bryan Chong makes headlines across the globe for unifying quantum theory.
Virtuoso Chong Hau foo composes symphonies outclassing Chopin.
CEO of Chong Industries takes over Microsoft, Mercedes and Brunei... all in one day.
Tofuking conquers the World.
Alright, I'm The Keongest guy in history now.
And then what?
And then you zoom out, out, out out, out out out, out out out out out, and some more, and our lovely little blue marble of a planet is... infinitesimal.
And all of it means Nothing. If something were to come along and crumble our world into stardust, everything we've evolved for, worked for, just gone in a microsecond. The interesting thing is, it wouldn't matter if we disappeared, cause there would be no one to... be bothered by it. The world mourned at hiroshima/nagasaki/the like. Who will mourn at the world? Won't matter.

Another example. If someone dear to me - family, friends, parents, brother, ks, monkey, turkey, brenda, limay, sara, etc etc etc, were to just SNUFF IT, I'd mourn, grieve, be utterly utterly sad. And for a period of time, MY world would be the crumbled one, and... the rest of the world goes on.

Take a moment and imagine. Imagine. Think about it, as realistically as possible. You in your darkest of dark times, whilst people are getting married, celebrating births, christmas, parties... Wouldst not the world seem too uncaring?
Conversely, some kid in the states get killed. "oh how sad.." is probably the most you'll say.

Well here's how i visualize it sometimes. Picture the Earth. From space. Then just zoom out and out as mentioned. And when your Earth is just a speck in the middle of pitch-black nothingness... imagine a trillion living things on that speck. Then picture yourself as one of those things.
Pathetic.

The feeling's not 'on' right now, so can't really express it well, but sometimes it's just... mesmeric, I can't help but drop everything and think about it, and think and think. Can't get that feeling on by way of will.
Life has no meaning to me now anyway.
We are small and insignificant.
And yet we live and fear death.

And.. DONT JUST READ THE POST DAMMIT, that's not why i blogged it. Imaagiiiiiine.

Seven things you plan to do before you die
1. Travel the world, alone/with friends, backpacking.

2. Be a physics professor, lecture in an Ivy League Uni.

3. Discover some new stuff, especially stuff regarding the beginning and the end.

4. Get at least the first level of piano diploma.

5. At least 4th Dan in kendo.

6. Climb Mt. Everest.

7. Last but not least, get married and settle down, preferably with a malaysian-chinese, in the states ;p Racist hehe.

Seven things you can do
1. Eat and eat and eat.

2. Sleep and snooze and snore.

3. I can do... physics and maths, lots of it!

4. I can play the piano!! I don't deny that I'm not bad at it either ;p

5. Kendo! Whack people up.

6. Overdo things.

7. Anything.

Seven celebrity crushes
1. Nay.

2. Nil.

3. Nein.

4. Nope.

5. Nah.

6. Nix.

7. Yundi Li.... uhhhh not really a crush.

Seven most repeated words
1. lol

2. haha

3. swt

4. yknow

5. -_-"

6. yeap

7. ohohoho.

Seven physical traits you look for in the opposite sex

1. eyes

2. not a head taller than me

3. smile

4. stride *is that a physical trait?*

5. well basically doesn't really matter if she looks like a supermodel, just not a turd or smth.

6. meh.

7. dash.

Seven tags to go to
1. Brenda

2. Han

3. Sara

4. Hern Ee

5. Sie Lein

6. Line Jie (Jaq)

7. Anyone who's sien. Or slacking.

Three names you go by
1. The Great Almighty Genius Lengchai Noble Kind Benevolent Almight Again Compassionate Humble Guy. Or just Bryan.

2. Tofuking.

3. I Love Guam.

Three Screen name you've ever had
1. l»ToFuKinG«l (time to change this..)

2. tofuking (forums)

3. tofupiano (gunbound lol!)

Three physical things you like about yourself
1. ∞

2.

3.

Three physical things you don't like about yourself
1. Ø

2. {}

3. ∅

Three parts of my heritage
1. Chinese
2. Malaysian
3. Genius

Three things that scare you
1. wo*ms, le*ches, ca***pillars, dowan defile my blog by putting the names.
2. Losing my friends/family/loved ones.
3. Scares me, but i look forward to it more than I fear it: meeting someone whose intelligence overwhelms mine. Hawking, Feynman (dead), Einstein (deader than hamburger) etc.

Three drinks (alcoholic or non)
1. Water.
2. Tea of all sorts, I like tea more than coffee actually. Dammit! :D
3. Gatorade after sports.

Three of your everyday essentials
1. friends
2. piano
3. computer

Three things you're wearing right now
1. shirt.
2. shorts.
3. watch. (undies too ofc!)

Three of your favourite movies
1. TRANSFORMERS!!!!!! xDxD Transfomers 2 and 3 when they come out xD
2. Storm Riders. One of the first movies I watched multiple times, when I was a kid.
3. Eurotrip LOL. Pirates too?

Two truths and a lie paradox
1. This is a lie.
2. First one's a lie.
3. First one's a truth.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you
1. scroll up.
2. swt.
3. lol.

Three careers you are considering, or have considered
1. Physics professor/lecturer.

2. Concert pianist.

3. Rich businessman.

Three ways that you are stereotypically a guy
1. i play lots of games and sports.
2. i love transformers!
3. females are more attractive than males.

Three people you would like to see take this quiz now
1. whoever reading this
2. people i've tagged
3. whoever interested

NEW PUZZLE, same old solution:
First, it's simple, it's just be.
The third is in re- but not in see, (sry >_<)

Fourth, the most common letter,
could a hint get any better?

And the fifth is the first reflected across the y-axis.
So sue me, i've gotta stuff in some maths-y bliss.

Sixth is symmetrical, top to bottom, left to right;
Adorning churches, day and night.

My second and seventh, oh, are the same.
Whilst eighth and ninth plus 'ck' are profane.

So when you solve the nine simple keys,
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.blogspot.com, if you please.

Forgive me for the bad rhymes and puns,
Just my way of having good fun-s.