Blister Soul

Great song that's been bounce around in my head a lot lately!

Cloth of Life

Great song by Bill Mallonee that has been stuck in my head for the past week as I've taken inventory of life, faith and ministry as I wait for God's guidance and direction.

Books, Music, Love

This is one of those long, rambling type posts, so my apologies up front, but it is late and I've been up since 7 AM on this glorious Saturday thanks to my sweet children...

I finished Flannery O'Connor's short story collection today that I had been working through. She owns me like no other writer of fiction! Her dark, shadowy characters and settings paint a real-life picture to me. Her incredible ability to shed the light of the Gospel on the mundane, ordinariness of life captures my attention with every page. As I read these stories, I was reminded that I really prefer short stories to novels, which is a lesson I hope to take into my preaching and teaching. Honestly, I am a minister and have several years of theological education, if I get bored or disengaged in a sermon at the half way point, when is every one else tuning out? I am not the best at saying exactly what I want to say in succinct ways, but I am working on it.


The music of Bill Mallonee, especially his solo stuff reminds me of Flannery O'Connor's body of work in some way, shape, form or fashion. As I was doing yard work this morning, I heard this song from Mallonee.

I Will Never Be Normal (After This) Year: 2003 | Run Time: 5:31

Written by Bill Mallonee for CyBrenJoJosh (BMI) ©2004

now most of my friends
they have bailed out long ago
and they've all got their stories
for the paths that they have chosen
see for some their family's love
felt like a boxer's blow
now they spend their days feelin' small
wherever they do roam

but hey there are drugs to help you see God
and there are drugs for when depressed
and there are drugs that make you harder still
for when you get undressed
and there's drugs for the guiltiness
so you'll feel one with the universe
but girl you were the only one
to ever break the curse

yeah it could have been your eyes
but i suspect it was your kiss
honey i will never be normal after this

now everyone's a junkie
and since daylight's such a pain
we're all looking for some darkness
to stick into our veins
for some of us it's lust
for others it is power
for some of us it's playing songs
and drinking after hours

yeah you've gone and upped the ante
in this game that we all play
gotta wake up and believe
that love's the better way
and people can really be healed
there are even some of 'em you can trust
but first you gotta take a risk
and tell 'em where it hurts

what if it's for a purpose
what if we used our battered faith
they say God He doesn't make junk
and Jesus never makes mistakes
He has never given up
on anything that He has made
He will chase you like a lover
right through heaven's gate

There's definitely a lot to dissect in this song from a theological perspective! What struck me though is how much it captures my sentiment about Cyd. My life has not been the same or normal since I met her many years ago, yet it has been amazing!! She never ceases to astound me with her beauty, her wit, her wisdom and her perspective on life. She has a window to my soul that is only eclipsed by my Creator. She has a passion for life that is invigorating! I am so thankful to have her as my wife, I have certainly "never been normal since."

Recently Heard in Sermons and Songs

We had our Disciple Now this weekend, which is always a great time for our students who participate...so between that and church today I've heard a lot of sermons touching on sin and grace and these thoughts popped into my head via Bill Mallonee's music.

we're all black holes so don't give me grief

i think you're perfect and you think i'm perfect to and

we're all just lying through our teeth
Poor Kid



Double Cure

yeah today i'm sick of all i am
today is my setback

first i swear i love you
then i stab you in the back

i wanna drink out of that fountain
on a hill called double cure
i wanna show you my allegiance Lord
yes i wanna be a son of Yours

Few have captured the meaning of grace for me and the struggle with sin and our humanness like Malllonee and Brennan Manning. They are both sources of encouragement and reminders to me about my need for the Gospel.

Several thoughts are running through my mind as I try to write this...like, I need to finish getting ready for Bible Study, I need to finish cleaning the house (We are trying to sell our house to move out to live close to Cyd's mother), I also have things to do to finish up the after-shock of a kicking Winter Retreat last week, and the list could go on for a few blog posts, but I won't bore you or me with that right now. It goes without saying that life is incredibly busy for us right now. That's not necessarily a bad thing, usually I am more productive if I am busy rather than having a lot of free time on my hands. The rub for me lately has been when and perhaps how do I actually live when I'm so busy with life. I am reading a book by Barbara Brown Taylor, one of my favorite preachers, in it she writes, "When do people actually live their lives, given all the other things they have to do" (Home By Another Way 7). If I had to put my finger on it, I would say that this is my mantra lately.

Don't get me wrong, I have been able to relish in some wonderful moments with my savior and my family lately too! Like getting to see Bill Mallonee with Cyd over the Valentine's weekend while it snowed in Savannah. Spending some time with my 3 girls the last few days after an amazing Winter Retreat that saw God do some cool things in the lives of the students and adults who went. Burning trash and hopefully getting ready to plow and plant the garden (I know we are late, the last two months have been busy). When I read that line from Barbara Brown Taylor I completely agreed with her statement, since then God has gently prodded me so that I recalled his grace filled moments of life that are in the rare morning cup of coffee shared with my beautiful wife, the memories of a loved one gone too soon, the embrace of a snotty-nosed child, the sound of rain hitting the roof, the hymn that won't stop playing in my head, the sermon that sparked something in me that had nothing really to do with the sermon, which shows you how God can use our human efforts to touch lives even if it wasn't our intended mark. So much more could be said about God's gentle patience with me the last several weeks however, only one is worth repeating...GRACE!

Top Christmas Songs

I have seen lots of lists in the blogosphere the last few weeks so I intend to indulge in compiling a few of my own over the next few weeks. Here's a few of my favorite Christmas Songs. Some are classics and others not so classic but all of them bring to mind the spirit of Christmas and the celebration of the Savior.

1. "Hark The Herald Angels Sing" I like just about any version because the theology of the song is so rich, but one of my favorite is on The Gift: A Weathervane Christmas Sampler

2. "Go Tell it on the Mountain" Something about this song just resonates with my soul, I love to sing it in church at Christmas time. My favorite CD version is Garth Brooks.

3. "On to Bethlehem" An original song by Bill Mallonee, did you really think I would do a post about music and not include something by him?

4. "White Christmas" Bing Crosby's version of course!

5. "A Christmas Song" Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds

6. "Santa Baby" Not sure who actually sings this but it's on a Starbucks sampler from a few years ago...my girls love to sing it in the car. They even did a performance last night at the youth worker party!

7. "Baby It's Cold Outside" James Taylor and Natalie Cole Again one that my girls love to sing.

There are many others I could list but these few are the ones that get played and sung over and over again in my head, house, and office.

Here's a few verses from "On To Bethlehem" by Bill Mallonee
Quiet, introspective, meaning of life stuff, but isn't Christmas a great time for us to do that sort of thing.

and i'd like to say i'm faithful
to the task at hand
speaking gospel to a handful
and others with their list of demands

it's cold this year and i'm late on my dues
it's cold in here ah but that's nothing new
my heart's electric with your love again
so it's on to bethlehem

you might surmise that i ran there
but i really only crept
lead me to the place where love runs wild
and then it dogs your every step

you know how fickle my heart is
prone to wonder my Lord
yeah we talk but it's at arms length
always got one eye on the door

God wraps Himself up in human skin
for those who want to touch
and God let them drive the nails in
for those of us who know way too much

All Joy, Hope, Peace and Love

I have worked with teenagers in some capacity for over 12 years. Teen culture has changed dramatically over the course of those years and the locales that I have been. It seems to me that one of the few, perhaps only consistent thing in teenagers is their inconsistency...yet I have found that many of them are wrestling with some of the most difficult and complex issues that 10, 20, 30 years ago only adults struggled with. They are bombarded by ideas from different people about who they are and who they should be as they genuinely grapple with acceptance, love, death, and depression both in their own self and the others around them(including peers and parents). The tragic thing is that if someone doesn't speak truth into their lives they become adults with the same nagging questions about life, faith, love won and lost, and promises made and broken. I have recently been reminded yet again of the frailness of the human condition, not just teenagers, through a couple of different scenarios. At the same time I am reading the new book by Brennan Manning that someone passed along to me that speaks to the heart of all our issues...realizing the genuine acceptance and love of God just as we are with all of our faults, failures, cracks, and questions. In the back of my head for the last week or so a Bill Mallonee song has been playing. He played a version of it when he did a show at FBC Statesboro nearly 3 years ago. The lyrics are posted below from www.billmallonee.net/
The Kidz on Drugz (or Life) Year: 2004 | Run Time: 5:42

Written by Bill Mallonee for CyBrenJoJosh (BMI) ©2004

i dunno if the kid's on drugs or life
why should that come as a shock
life hasn't fallen out just quite
in those neat suburban boxes

and i wonder about the conversations that you're having
you know the ones with yourself
where you feel like a failure yeah and you're losing heart
and that race has barely gotten started
and you wanna ask God about things like cancer
but you don't think that you'll get much of an answer
i hope you will find and i pray you will see
all the joy that your life brings to me

and the baggage that we all carry around
has this way of dragging you down

and there is no map for this growing up
it's just a street through a town called weird
and you never do feel like you'll arrive
with a destination so unclear
ah but i met this girl with the Holy Ghost
hey she turned me onto the Clash
we made love all night long to Love Tractor and Pylon
but in the morning we played Johnny Cash

and it really shouldn't be so hard
to get yourself free
but with all these lines in the sand and love with its strings
God fear is such a funny thing
I dunno if the kid's on drugs or life
maybe it's a little of both
i know love has this way of holding the day
like that girl with the Holy Ghost
Did You Know?

Bill has said this is one of the hardest songs for him to sing because of the "heart-breaking content." He says, "that song was loosely about a number of kids I've met (and the kid in us all perhaps) who don't have a clue... they come into life with a lot of strikes against them, start trying to awkwardly 'figure it out,' and sometimes get sidetracked for years in the process... I was such a kid... Me? I got lucky: I found the 'Girl with the Holy Ghost who turned me on to the Clash,' as it says in the tune... one of my favorite lines ever."

Disclaimer: The girl with the holy ghost, was Bill's wife, Brenda.

There are days in talking with people that my heart bleeds for them like this song says. "I hope you will find and I pray you will see all the joy that your life brings to me." I'm not 100% sure what the songwriter's intention was, but the more I listen to this song the more I hear the voice of God speaking in those words to all of us who are broken, hurting, struggling, doubting, and questioning. I see that a lot in many of the students I work with and the hope that I have in the cross and the furious longing of God to live in relationship with me is what keeps hoping against all odds that somehow, someway God will speak truth, his truth, his LOVE and ACCEPTANCE into the lives my students and anyone else I come in contact with for that matter.

If the gospel of grace is true, which I firmly believe, then the very heartbeat of God seems to be echoed in the words "all the joy that your life brings to me." God delights in his children, he loves us immeasurably!

Easter Song

I know I mention the work of Bill Mallonee quite a lot here, but I can't think of one artist who has shaped me more than he has. He has written a new song, an Easter Song, that is really, really poignant. It's a great reminder of the weekend that we are getting ready to celebrate as Christians. You can listen to it at http://www.myspace.com/worksprogressadministration. Be sure to check it out.

I posted the lyrics below from Bill's Facebook page.

COMING OUT OF HIDING
music/words: bill mallonee BMI 2009

I heard you were mother’s pride and joy
she was pretty young when she had that baby boy
you were up against the powers and down with the man at the start
You had a hunger in your belly and the fire in side your heart

you said mysterious things like: “living looks more like dying.”
Now, you’re coming outta hiding (x2)

I heard they called your mother ’bout every name under the sun
I heard you turned your cheek a lot and bit your tongue
you had a knack for making friends who couldn’t pay you back
spending your coins on the wrong side of the tracks

picking up the tab after wining and dining
now, you’re coming outta hiding (x2)

spent some time in the underground just to get the lay of the land
spent some time with the sick to take them all on vacation
spent some time in the jail just to let the prisoners loose
spent some time on the gallows just to cut the hangman’s noose

all of these reversals are kinda exciting
now you’re coming outta hiding (x2)


I heard they kicked you to curb when your show went down like a storm
heard they stole your crown and gave you one of thorns
you when love gets close it can be perceived as a threat
and God you know we’ve got so much to protect

Still it looks like love is always and ever abiding
and you’re coming outta hiding

VOL Live at Eddie's Attic

Vigilantes of Love have a new release!! A live disc, recorded earlier this year at Eddie's Attic, a great music venue in Decatur, GA. In college Cyd and I drove up to Decatur to catch a VOL show that was utterly amazing. An intimate setting but a club that has helped a lot of folks in the greater Atlanta area get some coverage and recognition. I wanted to make it to this show, but we just couldn't make it work. The CD is available at www.volsounds.com for only $4.50, a steal to say the least. The newly reformed band is a great mix and balance of their earlier sound with a heaping dose of Bill Mallonee's solo work of the last several years. It just might surpass the VOL live at the 40 Watt in my book. I was listening to it as I finish getting things ready for Wednesday night and realized I hadn't written about it yet.

The thing that's yours for free
Is the thing I need the most
Oh, stifles every boast, every boast
And this thing we cannot speak of
To painful to behold
Oh, this blister soul

Bill Mallonee Article for Christianity Today

Bill Mallonee's band Vigilantes of Love has reformed and kicked it off by performing at the 40watt Club in Athens, GA last Thursday night. Over the weekend I received an email with a link to a great article about Bill and his music, plus a really cool slideshow. Check it out when you get a chance.

This is copied from the email from Bill.
Christianity Today did a fine interview last month on my life and work.(At least up to this point! I'm not quitting anytime soon. I love this too much!) The interview was well done by Nate Anderson; The whole interview PLUS an extended interview with slideshow is now up online at: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2008/october/39.78.html

Fall, Trains, Home, Love

I love the Fall! It's one of those times of year that I "feel" God's presence more. I'm not sure if it's the leaves changing colors, the sounds of football games, the crisp air, or the anticipation of Advent just around the corner, but there is just something magical about the fall. This song is one of my favorite by Bill Mallonee. It always reminds me of the fall. I thought about just typing in the lyrics but I think the music communicates as much as the lyrics. The video is from a house concert he did in someone's living room, not the best quality but pretty decent.

Nothing Like a Train Run Time: 5:17

Written by Bill Mallonee for CyBrenJoJosh (BMI) ©2000

nothing like the rain to bring you down
nothing like a train to take you far away
leaving here without a sound
yeah should have been gone yesterday
it was the diamonds i remember
yeah right there behind your eyes
i'm captured once again and seen through
honey your camera never lies

nothing like the leaves 'round your front door
and the stages and the pages you've been in love before
and the things you feel inside these bones
and those that won't leave you
those that won't leave you
those that won't leave you alone

you can map the lay of the land
yeah you can describe the sad terrain
let us survey all the borders
yeah but it all still looks the same
when you find there's nothing special
yeah about that big hole in your heart
'cause everybody's got one
with precious little time to talk about it

here's another song for brenda
yeah another tune for josh and joe
another postcard from the highway
my God where do these days go

Did You Know?

An excerpt from "Nothing Like a Train" was used in an episode of Felicity on May 17, 2000 (#2.22 "The Final Answer"). This came about because one of the soundmen for the show is a huge fan of Bill Mallonee. Bill has described this song as an "appalachian lullaby" and says that it's about leaving home and trying to find a sense of home on the road. In the lyrics he mentions his two sons and his first wife by name.

Appeared On…

• Audible Sigh (Pre-Release) (1999)
• Audible Sigh (2000)
• Audible Sigh (with Room Despair) (2000)
• Resplendent (Audibly Live) (2002)

Earth has no sorrow, heaven can't heal

Do you ever have a song that pops into your head and stays there for days? A few days ago a song lyric that I hadn't listened to in months popped into my head and hasn't left yet. One might say that there's not much else going on in my head which is why the song keeps bouncing around...regardless I wanted to share it with you.

"Earth Has No Sorrow"
Written by Bill Mallonee for Irving Music, Inc., Allegiance Music, Russachugama Music and CyBrenJoJosh (BMI) ©1990, 1992

it's time to get the lash it's time to get the rope
sharpen the razor grab the microscope
it won't be pretty when they cut the tether
sometimes you lose your address to find your shelter
why is joy something i must steal
starving skeletons looking for a meal
out in the graveyard the church bells peal
earth has no sorrow heaven can't heal
i bought a crap detector it emptied all my savings
it's got a hair trigger feel for the slightest provocation
not there to spill blood or judge out of line
it's just a modern convenience to save you some time
johnny says to sarah as he takes her by the hand
"i hear angels 'cross that river in beulahland"the waters are cold and they're deep my friend
i'm going down down down and coming up again
i'm checking my closets since i don't know when
surely life is more than learning how to live with your skeletons
wind swing low whisper in my ears
wind swing low dry these tears

The chorus, "Earth has no sorrow, heaven can't heal" has circled my brain lately. I guess because not a day goes by that somebody doesn't share a struggle, a difficult situation, or just heartache that I think you know this situation stinks, but God is still present, still at work, bringing hope to this life and situation.