Should Have Been Titled "The Grift"

The Griff
Written by Christopher Moore and Ian Corson
Illustrated by Jennyson Rosero
Published by HarperCollins Publishers
1 Out of 5 Stars

Hey, Michael Bay, I found your next movie concept! And you can't screw this one up because it comes pre-fucked. Inexplicable, ridiculous threat to humanity? Check. Shallow characters? Check. Nonsensical plot with holes big enough to drive Optimus Prime through? Check. Cliche action dialogue? Check. Females who offer little more than T & A? Check and check. 

Now, where do I go to pick up my finder's fee?

I love Christopher Moore's novels. His zany sense of humor, hilarious dialogue, and obvious compassion for his fellow man is a combination that I find irresistible. But, hole-e fucksocks, The Griff is no Christopher Moore novel and, to be fair, that's established up front in Moore's preface (which also happens to be the best part of the book). Essentially, Moore came up with this idea that he thought would work well as a movie, he and a buddy (Ian Corson) wrote the script as a way of avoiding real work, and then tossed it in a drawer because they knew it would never be picked up as a film. Then the comics came calling and Moore remembered The Griff screenplay and brought it back into the light as a graphic novel.

And he should have left it in the dark. While I have no doubt that Moore and Corson had a hoot writing it, it's a hot mess. There's no sense of time (entire weeks pass with no clear signal to the reader, making it seem as though everything happens in the course of a day); the artwork is pretty, but inconsistent and the panels are often confusing (one gets the sense that there were lots of blanks in the plot that they decided to quickly "flesh out" with artwork that has no real sense of narrative direction); and it follows the standard summer action flick formula so faithfully that it offers nothing new. It reads like a screenplay with pictures and has a rushed "Wham, Bam, No-Thank You, M'am" feel to it." 

A plot this ridiculous (giant alien dragons show up out of nowhere and wipe out most of mankind) could have been fun if it had been more of a spoof or featured more of Moore's signature humor. There are a few bits of dialogue that are pure Moore and, while hilarious, still not worth the price of admission.

My advice? Read Moore's Fool, A Dirty Job, or Fluke and give The Griff a pass. 

Dorothy in the Mild, Mild West

The Legend of Oz:  The Wicked West
Written by Tom Hutchison
Illustrated by Alisson Borges
Published by Big Dog Ink
3 Out of 5 Stars

Three childhood stories whose magic is lost on me: The Chronicles of Narnia, Alice in Wonderland, and The Wizard of Oz. I really, really detest every single one of them. In fact, there's something I generally dislike about threshold stories in which the "looking glass" between fantasy and reality is shattered by the curiosity of a child. While I'm sure there's some sort of Freudian field day to be had with this admission, I shall not speculate on why these tales failed to flip my imagination switch as a youngster.

So why am I stating this? Because when Dave, the owner of my local comic book shop, tried to get me to read this, I shook my head vehemently, made the sign of the cross, tried to back away. I may have even hissed. But he suckered me in with the "but it's a Western" angle. So I relented. And it wasn't as bad as I anticipated; however, it also wasn't as great as I had hoped. Still, for me to give a 3 star to Oz related material is a big damn deal.

The artwork is beautiful in a traditional sense, but takes very few risks. While conventional in other ways, I was particularly glad to see that, other than Dorothy being a little booty-licious in a few frames, the women aren't oversexed pin-ups for folks with fairy tale dame fetishes (the zeal shown for T & A of epic proportions was one of my main problems with Hutchison's Penny for Your Soul, also published by Big Dog Ink). Unfortunately, the story also takes few risks. There are some clever ideas (I really loved the Native American mysticism of the "scare crow") and some not so clever (such as making the Tin Man a lawman, an idea that might have struck me as brilliant if I hadn't seen it in SyFy's own Wizard of Oz re-imagining a few years back, which was actually titled Tin Man).

Basically, this is Oz in the West--same basic plot structure, same basic characters, and very few surprises. It's fun, but really doesn't develop the story in a new or complex way. Hardcore Oz aficionados would probably enjoy it, but, while I liked it, I won't be continuing the series.

An Uneven Effort for My Favorite X-Man

X-Men Gambit:  House of Cards (Volume 1)
Written by John Layman
Illustrated by Georges Jeanty
Published by Marvel Comics
3 1/2 Out of 5 Stars

Looking for a little non-X excitement, Remy LeBeau returns to Louisiana, lured by a job that he can't resist and a longing for home. Hired by the beautiful Lili Penrose to steal a deck of cards from her own uncle, Gambit takes on the heist as much for the excitement as for the payoff. However, he learns too late that there's nothing ordinary about this deck of cards--they're a powerful set of tarot cards that can tap into dark powers and blind those who look upon them. Of course, for Gambit, the added element of danger makes this an irresistible challenge.

I'm going with 3.5 stars here. It is a fun story, but there were a few disappointments along the way--first and foremost of which is the art. The characters look somewhat cartoonish and malformed, which is made all the more obvious when compared with the amazing cover work done by Greg Land. I also think the story should have taken advantage of the New Orleans setting. Oh, there's some stereotypical New Orleans-ish references here, but they're flat and unoriginal. It would have been nice to see Gambit's scoundrel side played up a bit more, too. While there are some witty quips here and there, he certainly doesn't read like the same cavalier, devil-may-care Gambit that I'm accustomed to.

There are some fun elements to the story, however. When Gambit and Wolverine rout several well known thief watering holes, I couldn't wipe the stupid smile off of my face. In addition, a sex tape featuring an encounter between Lili and Remy surfaces toward the end of the book, and promises to make for some interesting reading in Gambit: Hath No Fury. 

X-Men Gambit:  Hath No Fury (Volume 2)
Written by John Layman
Illustrated by Georges Jeanty
Published by Marvel Comics
4 Out of 5 Stars

There are 3 stories collected here:  Gambit versus zombies in New Orleans, Gambit trying to sneak into Rogue's room to retrieve a sex tape sent to her by a young woman with an unfortunate knack for hacking into surveillance cameras all over New Orleans and an unrequited school girl crush on Gambit, and Gambit returning to New Orleans only to run into Belladonna and her new beau during a heist.

While I still have the same complaints about the art work in this collection as I had for Gambit:  House of Cards (there's a bland formlessness to the facial features of most of the characters), the story lines were better and took more advantage of the New Orleans setting.  However, I still don't think they quite took advantage of Gambit being away from the X-Men.  These stories could have been grittier and not so "wink-wink-nudge-nudge" about things.  As one character says of Gambit, "I've seen evidence of a personality type that's narcissistic, kleptomaniacal, pathological, adrenaline-addicted, anti-authority, and given to reckless, suicidal tendencies."  That's the Gambit I was hoping to read about, but other than that piece of dialogue, that's not really the Gambit I got.  This is not the Gambit who saved Storm when she regressed into childhood, nor is it the Gambit who returned to New Orleans for the tithing.

The main reason I'm giving this one a 4 star is that I thought the narrative with Gambit trying to retrieve the sex tape before Rogue could discover it was much more in line with the kind of character I've come to expect.

A New Red Scare

American Vampire:  Volume 5
Written by Scott Snyder
Illustrated by Rafael Albuquerque and Dustin Nguyen
Published by Vertigo
4 Out of 5 Stars

As usual, Scott Snyder's American Vampire continues to kick ass with its gritty, unique take on the vampire mythos.

In this collection, we're given two complete story lines and the teaser for a third. In the first two, there's a return to some of my favorite characters in the series. While I enjoy how Snyder continues to branch out by exploring different time periods in American history, as well as the humans and vampires that inhabit them, the characters of Skinner Sweet, Pearl Jones, and Felicia Book will always be my favorites.

In the first story, Felicia Book is reluctantly drawn back into The Vassals of the Morning Star when a vampiric threat targets her son. But this isn't just any vampire; this is Dracula, the Carpathian king who has lain dormant in the VMS stronghold until freed by the Russians. Of the two stories, this was my favorite as we witness Snyder seamlessly blend the Dracula myth into the world of American Vampire. My one complaint, however, is that the ending is abrupt and somewhat anti-climatic, but this gives me hope that maybe this story isn't as finished as Felicia believes.

The second story returns to Pearl Jones, the vampire whose husband, Henry, hangs between life and death after the events in volume 4. In an attempt to save him (and in a story line that somewhat mirrors that of Felicia Book), Pearl agrees to work for the VMS hunting down vampires who may be hiding in the homes of the Hollywood elite (giving an ironic twist to the "Red Scare" of the time period). This is not an easy decision for Pearl as she must team up with the ruthless, sadistic vampire who turned her--Skinner Sweet. Witnessing Pearl grapple with her feelings for Henry and coming to terms with his mortality is one of the strengths of this arc.

Finally, we have the third story, which does little more than return us to Abilena Book, mother of Felicia, and a new threat known only as The Gray Trader. Because this issue was published before American Vampire went on hiatus, we'll have to wait for its return in March 2014 to know precisely what this threat is, but there's no doubt that Abilena hasn't settled into old age and she's ready to rumble.

Overall, this is a strong collection and I continue to be impressed with Snyder's ability to weave all of these arcs into a story that moves the vampire out of the tired European conventions and into a story as vast and open to possibilities as the American West.

Making Comics Fun

Quantum and Woody:  Volume 1
Written by James Asmus
Illustrated by Tom Fowler
Published by Valiant
4 Out of 5 Stars

In this reboot from Valiant, Eric and Woody Henderson are adopted brothers whose relationship has always been tense. Polar opposites in every sense, Eric is the reliable, straight-arrow, while Woody is your typical case of reckless arrested development. Raised by Eric's biological father, both competed for his attention and felt unfairly judged against the strengths of the other. This rift only grows over the years to the point where the adult Eric and Woody have nothing to do with one another.

When their father is killed for one of his scientific experiments, Woody and Eric are reluctantly reunited and, in the course of investigating his murder, stumble into one of his experiments--changing the course of their lives forever. Now imbued with superpowers they neither want nor understand, they become the world's worst superhero team: Quantum and . . . well, Woody, because superhero names are stupid, right? In too deep to back out, they continue to pursue their father's killers and, during the course of the adventure, there will be sibling rivalry, crude humor, clones, spider-clown hybrid assassins, and, by God, there will be a goat.

On the surface, Quantum and Woody is nothing new. This is the formulaic buddy-cop movie setup, but with one clever twist. In making Eric and Woody brothers, the conflicts between them go well beyond personality and race. Giving them a shared history and childhood means that they're easy to relate to as it all boils down to good ol' sibling rivalry, which Asmus plays for laughs that hit close to home for anyone who knows the joys of loving--and hating to the depths of your very soul--the people who know you better than anyone else in the world.

Because I never read the original, I have no idea how this reboot matches up. But it is a comic that knows how to laugh at itself and its genre and in the grim age of nihilistic anti-heroes always teetering on the precipice of some existential crisis, it's nice to be reminded that comics can also be plain silly fun.

So Close to Perfect

American Vampire
Written by Scott Snyder
Illustrated by Rafael Albuquerque and Jordi Bernet
Published by Vertigo
3 1/2 Stars

I've been very vocal about my love for Scott Snyder and want to be clear that love remains unabated. Snyder's American Vampire series has returned vampires to their horror roots and is one of the best comics out there; Snyder's writing is smart and strictly adults only. 

In this volume, we have three distinct periods in American history and, as usual, we have three distinct American vampires. The vampires in Snyder's world are not stagnant; they continue to change and evolve, creating intriguing subspecies that have strengths and weaknesses unlike those who came before or will come after them. This certainly makes life tough on the average vampire hunter, who must memorize the various vampiric types and their particular Achilles's heel.

In the first story, we have Skinner Sweet and Jim Book as best friends and Indian fighters in 1871. We learn that Skinner and Jim grew up as brothers when Jim's family took in the impetuous, orphaned Skinner. Knowing there is nothing they can do to stem the influx of white settlers, one Indian chief, Hole in the Sky, plans to wake a powerful goddess of death, Mimiteh, in the hope that she will ally herself with the Native Americans and give them the advantage. Naturally, things do not go according to plan and we learn that Skinner was not the first American Vampire.

The second story is my favorite and is set in the 1950's. Travis Kidd is a reckless youth who seems modeled after Marlon Brando's character in The Wild One: nothing but leather jacket, attitude, and a taste for speed. Travis, however, is definitely a rebel with a cause--hunting for the vampire that killed his family (the panel showing a young Travis hiding in a cupboard during the violence is particularly heart-wrenching), he's the best self-taught vampire slayer out there. And it's not long before the Vassals of the Morning Star start trying to recruit him. 

The final story is set in 1950's Alabama and follows our first African-American vampire, Calvin Poole, into the heart of a segregated South. It turns out that racism is the least of Calvin's problems when he encounters a new breed of vampire that gives a unique twist on the intersection of werewolf and vampire mythology. Pearl and Henry from the previous volumes also make an unexpected appearance.

All of these stories are engrossing and continue the complex character building from the first two volumes. So why only 3 1/2 star? The first story, The Beast in the Cave, features art by Jordi Bernet, and his colorful, cartoonish style put me in mind of something akin to the old Li'l Abner comic strip. It's hard to take a death goddess seriously when she struts around with gravity defying T & A and nipples that look like index fingers. Bernet's art fails to set the right tone for the story. It certainly would have been better served by Albuquerque's uniquely dark, violent and often primitive style. Unfortunately, a story that should be anything but laughable comes dangerously close to being so.

Haunted by Missed Opportunities

Five Ghosts:  The Haunting of Fabian Gray, Vol. 1
Written by Frank J. Barbiere
Illustrated by Chris Mooneyham
Published by Image
2 1/2 Out of 5 Stars

2 1/2 Stars.

Part Indiana Jones, part Gambit, part James Bond and all pulp, Five Ghosts: The Haunting of Fabian Gray starts off as a fun throwback to the classic adventure narrative of the 30's and 40's. And then it does a cannonball into an empty pool, which is to say the creators really should have paid more attention as to where this thing was going.

Fabian Gray is a charming and handsome master thief who has spent his life acquiring some of the world's finest antiquities, with the help of his twin sister. However, when he and his sister attempt to steal The Dreamstone, things go cockeyed. Now his sister is in a coma and Fabian has five shards of The Dreamstone lodged in his chest--and within each stone is the essence of an archetypal figure: the detective, the samurai, the wizard, the archer and the vampire. Trapped within Gray's body, Gray can draw upon the powers of these "ghosts" to aid him in his newest quest--to find the artifact that will cure his sister. 

Set in the 1930's, Mooneyham evokes the look and feel of the pulp comics from that time period, adding to the overall narrative.  Things won't be easy for Fabian--supernatural forces are working against him, exotic locales need visiting, beautiful women need ravishing, and the "ghosts" are becoming increasingly unhappy over their imprisonment within Gray. And this is where the narrative lost me. Fabian must pass a test created by each of his ghosts, from which he will gain profound insight. These "tests" are anticlimactic, confusing, and miss the opportunity for some creative integration of the literary world inhabited by each of these ghosts. Each test could have been an issue in and of itself. 

While Barbiere squanders this opportunity, I'm hoping it's simply because Five Ghosts started as a limited 5 issue story arc. Since it has been granted ongoing series status, I will cautiously read the next few issues and remain optimistic that Five Ghosts will deliver on the initial promise I saw in the first two issues.

What Happens in Lost Vegas (Is Dull Enough to Stay in Lost Vegas)

Lost Vegas
Written by Jim McCann
Illustrated by Janet Lee
Published by Image Comics
2 Out of 5 Stars

Lost Vegas was a limited series from Image Comics (normally a safe-bet for unusual, creative, and intellectual comics) that started with serious promise and ended with a serious letdown. 

The premise of Lost Vegas is that Roland, a gambler who stacks the deck in his favor whenever possible, is forced into indentured service on the pleasure ship, Lost Vegas, when a card game goes wrong. Lost Vegas offers all the thrills, pageantry, and adult pleasures of its earthly namesake. Roland, however, is the type of man who makes his own luck and it's not long before he cooks up a scheme to escape, along with a rag-tag band of misfits (aren't they always?), that inadvertently draws him into a high-stakes game of intergalactic politics.

The concept behind Lost Vegas isn't a new one, but its futuristic, outer-space setting had incredible potential. The characters could have been intriguing, the plot could have taken some maddening twists and turns, and the story could have ultimately proved memorable. So the problem? It told a minimum 12 issue story arc in 4 issues. The end result is a "wham, bam, thank you, m'am" experience for the reader; the canvas simply isn't big enough for character development, clever world-building, or proper pacing. In addition, there are some glaring and obvious typos in the final issue. 

The bright spot here is the lush and neon-splashed artwork by Janet Lee. While bringing the Lost Vegas in all its hedonistic, bacchanalian glory to life, her efforts aren't enough to revive the story line--its the equivalent of watching someone perform CPR on a corpse. You have to admire the attempt, but, damn, that sucker's dead.

Scores One for the Bloodsuckers!

I, Vampire:  Tainted Love
Written by Joshua Hale Fialkov
Illustrated by Andrea Sorrentino
Published by DC Comics
4 Out of 5 Stars

I, Vampire is part of DC's The New 52 and is a relaunch of the storyline that ran in the 1980's. I know nothing about the original series, so you'll find no complaints here about how this updated version matches up against the original because I have no idea. What you will find is a heap load of thanks to DC Comics for reclaiming the vampire from a swooning tween audience. Between I, Vampire and American Vampire (published by DC's Vertigo), vampires that hack, slash, bite, and kill have been returned to us. Blessed be the comic book gods.

Vampire Andrew Bennett made a serious miscalculation when he turned his lover, Mary. He apparently thought they would while away eternity together, needing no one but each other . . . and she thought they would raise a vampire army and conquer the world. It's not too long before Mary tires of Andrew's kinder, gentler vampire and decides to raise hell on her own. Taking the name Mary, Queen of Blood, she sets about gathering her minions (note to self: must get minions) and prepares to slaughter humanity. Of course, Andrew is the only one who can stop her. Ain't love grand? 

I really enjoyed the first few issues of the series, especially the guest appearances by Batman and John Constantine, but the final issue in the Tainted Love story arc seemed rushed, as though they were just anxious to establish Andrew's connection to Justice League Dark. (I also read this in the issue format, not the collected volume, and it really pisses me off when part of the story appears in another comic book title; apparently, some pretty significant chunks of the story appear in Justice League Dark).

Particularly strong here is the artwork. Mary gracefully floats through the air, part mist and part beautiful, tattooed monster. Andrew shifts into various shapes, including a particularly horrifying werewolf. Andrea Sorrentino creates a dark, menacing world where characters appear in shadow and slink through the night, covered in blood. 

Ready for Volume 2

Artifacts Volume 1
Written by Ron Marz
Illustrated by Stjepan Sejic and Michael Broussard
Published by Image
4 Out of 5 Stars

Well, that was a pleasant surprise. I'm unfamiliar with the Top Cow universe and picked this up on a whim because it was on sale. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it always opens my wallet. Flipping through it, I didn't expect much--women sporting cleavage that would make Barbie feel inadequate and some religious imagery that brought on PTSD flashbacks ofPenny for Your Soul. I just knew this was going to have more Catholic fetishism than a Madonna video. Forgive me, Top Cow, for I have sinned.

There's an impressive mythology at work here that has a smart religious element. There are 13 ancient artifacts that have selected bearers/protectors throughout the centuries. Sara Pezzini is the current bearer of the Witchblade, the artifact created to balance the forces of good and evil (represented by The Darkness and The Angelus, both of whom are the embodiment of two artifacts). The remaining artifacts are scattered among other characters, such as The Magdalena (the protector of the Catholic Church and wielder of the Spear of Destiny) and Tom Judge (the ex-priest, recent denizen of hell, suspiciously John-Constantine-look-alike bearer of the Rapture). Of course, with 13 artifacts, there's an extensive cast of characters so I'll leave it there. 

If the 13 artifacts are ever brought together, it will bring about an apocalyptic event. Naturally, there's always some asshat who wants to bring about the end with the intention of rebuilding the world as he sees fit. It's no different here and it's not long before the artifact bearers have chosen sides: those determined to keep the artifacts apart and those who will stop at nothing to bring them together.

The artwork is beautiful, though conventional and features scantily clad babes that did nothing for me but will probably have the fellas hoping for a wardrobe malfunction. (I mean, seriously, I've seen Victoria's Secret models clad in gauzy nothings that probably offer more protection than Sara Pezzini's Witchblade "armor".) The writing, blend of mythologies, and universe-building is impressive. There are angels and demons and androids and icemen and assassins and even a DRAGON! Well, at least hints of a dragon. That's enough to count me in for the second volume.

Intriguing Role Reversal

Incorruptible
Written by Mark Waid
Illustrated by Jean Diaz
Published by Boom! Studios
4 Out of 5 Stars

In Irredeemable, Mark Waid explores what would happen if one of the world's most formidable superheroes flips a switch and becomes the villain. The Plutonian turns his back on humanity and instead indulges in creating the violence and destruction he once sought to stop. When the superhero who once kept you in check has now bumped you down to number 2 on the FBI's most wanted list, what's a super villain to do?

For Max Damage in Incorruptible, the answer is attempt to fill the void left in Sky City when its protector goes rogue. When Max realizes the Plutonian has seriously gone batshit crazy and may never recover, it causes a bit of an existential crisis. Max reveals that, no matter how terrible he was, in the back of his mind he always knew that men like the Plutonian would keep him from pushing things too far. Civilization was kept in place by the balance between good and evil. Max understands that the scales may now be permanently tipped toward chaos and anarchy, so it's up to him to try to restore balance. 

This role reversal is intriguing, although by the end of volume 1 Max's redemption isn't very convincing. Sure, he destroys anything purchased with his ill-gotten gains, breaks off his sexual relationship with his underage girlfriend, brokers a peace with the local police, and tracks down some bad guys, but how genuine is he? This isn't a complaint as I'm hoping it leads to some complex character development while Max attempts to become the good guy and struggles with his criminal past, but, if not, then his conversion seems conveniently simplistic.

There's some punchy dialogue throughout and the characters are imaginative. Jailbait is the underage girlfriend of Max who can't quite come to grips with the fact that the man who introduced her to the thrilling life of crime and apparently mind-blowing sex has gone all white hat on her. Her reactions are often amusing, especially as we realize that while Max may have gone straight, she certainly doesn't intend to follow suit. Max himself has a peculiar superpower--the longer he goes without sleep, the tougher he becomes. Bullets can't pierce him. Fire can't burn him. However, the hardening of his physical self allows him only two senses: sight and sound. It's only after a good night's sleep that Max can feel all five senses before his body once again begins the hardening process.

The artwork is nothing special; while it tells the story, it does little to enhance it. In the cover gallery there is some work attributed to Rafael Albuquereque of American Vampire fame and I could only imagine how his gritty style might have taken a story like this to the next level.

Still Seeking Balance

Gambit:  Volume 2 -- Tombstone Blues
Written by James Asmus
Illustrated by Clay Mann, et al.
Published by Marvel
3 1/2 Out of 5 Stars

This series continues to be frustrating for me. Just when I think it's going to work, that they've finally gotten a handle on the character and on the type of narrative that could make a standalone Gambit series a success, they lose momentum or veer in another direction. Even more frustrating is the announcement that #17 will be the final issue for a Gambit that began to show signs that it was finding itself. 

The weakest story involves Gambit's rescue of a team of archaeology students in Forever City, but then the story brings the return of the femme fatale only known as Joelle. Gambit's encounter with the thief Joelle was the cornerstone of the issues collected in volume 1, but her sudden disappearance left more questions than answers as to who she is and what her motivations are. Feeling that Joelle is a lost soul who may be in over her head, Gambit decides to play the gallant hero to humorous effect, his miscalculation of Joelle's capabilities blinding him to the fact that she's no damsel in distress.

Initially, I was pleased to see Joelle's return as she seemed like an intriguing character (despite being dressed like some Lara Croft ripoff). Revelations about her motivations--that she's taking some serious risks in an attempt to save her daughter--offer some surprises as we learn that Joelle is more than a tattooed hussy with sticky fingers. However, her loyalties are called into question, giving her some complexity--is the daughter a sob story she feeds Gambit while hiding more sinister intentions? Despite some promise as a character, Asmus unfortunately shortchanges Joelle, never giving enough of the story over to her. Further exploration of her background could have made her a character with some staying power and a formidable foe/ally for Gambit.

One thing Asmus does well is Rogue's incorporation into the story. While their relationship is a thing of the past, it's obvious there's still some spark between Rogue and Gambit, even if it's only the respect and admiration evident between two adult with a shared history. Coming to Gambit's aid only to find him in a compromising moment with Joelle, Rogue and Gambit's banter is fun and witty without being bitter.

The main problem with Gambit is that it's all over the place. Does it want to be an X-Man narrative (which, fortunately, it's largely dodged), an Indiana Jones-esque story, a slick James Bond thriller? Some consistent blend of all three might have worked, but jerking Gambit in and out of various genres makes you feel as though Asmus is treating the story like Goldilocks trying bowls of porridge until she finds the one that's just right. I do, however, appreciate his humor (for this reason, I look forward to his work on Valiant's Quantum and Woody) and there are some definite aspects that finally begin to "click" into place. 

The artwork throughout these issues is often inconsistent, but when Clay Mann is at the helm, it has a mature, somewhat minimalist look that I love.

Three Thors? Triple Your Pleasure, Triple Your Fun!

Thor:  God of Thunder Volume 1 --  The Godbutcher
Written by Jason Aaron
Illustrated by Esad Ribic
3 1/2 Out of 5 Stars

This is my first comic book foray into the world of Thor, so I have no allegiances to previous incarnations or storylines. Despite my love of mythology, I have actively avoided Thor because a) he can look seriously ridiculous in that winged helmet (I'm thinking more of the 60's and 70's incarnations here) and b) I'm not a fan of Thor-on-Earth (or Midgard) stories. For these reasons, Thor: God of Thunder is a good fit for me. The artwork by Esad Ribic is beautifully detailed and realistic, avoiding a contemporary look and opting for muted colors and shadows that give it a weighty, epic feel. Jason Aaron avoids too many Thor-on-Earth storylines and, with the exception of a very brief present day encounter with Ironman, Thor's visits to Midgard consist of 800's A.D. visits to Viking villages for some Asgardian R & R: battles, booze, and babes. Despite liking the character, it's always been difficult for me to suspend disbelief long enough to accept a Norse god in present day times--apparently I have no trouble with men in high-powered iron suits, green giants who are less than jolly, a super serum making a super soldier, hell, slap a cape on anything else and I'm buying--but the gods in the present day has always been a nugget I've had trouble swallowing (this is also part of my aversion to DC's Wonder Woman). Because Thor's interactions with Earth are almost exclusively limited to the place and time period of the people who worshiped him, this never bothered me one whit. Not one whit, I say!

So, on to the story. Yes, as promised, there are three Thors: the young, arrogant Thor who has not proven worthy of Mjolnir; the present day Avenger Thor, who has begun to doubt the worth of the gods to mortals; and the future King Thor, who has succeeded Odin as the All-Father, but is a broken, crippled god waging war by himself. In all three stories, the enemy is Gorr the Godbutcher, a being who, for reasons known only to him, has made it his mission to destroy the pantheons of every culture and every religion throughout space and time. Possessing a curious weapon, Gorr butchers the gods, good and evil alike, to free mortals from their whims. As the three Thors desperately try to stop Gorr (in three different timelines), there will be aliens, time travel, gods never before seen, eternal cities, thunder and lightning, weapons with unpronounceable Norse names, and, by Odin's beard, there will be ale! 

It's a fun narrative, although the one bit that doesn't quite work for me is Gorr. I like his style, sure, but he looks like Lord Voldemort from Harry Potter. His motives are never quite clear and, when they are, seem pretty cliche. In addition, Gorr's weapon doesn't seem like something that would possess the power necessary to quickly dispatch hundreds of gods with some pretty awesome powers of their own. The idea of a slayer of gods is an intriguing one and I just wish there had been a more original concept behind the why and how of Gorr's death-dealing agenda.

The Original Ragin' Cajun

Gambit Classic:  Volume 1
Written by Chris Claremont, et al
Published by Marvel
4 Out of 5 Stars

Oh, hell, yes! This is just what I was looking for. Gambit is my favorite X-Men character, mainly because I like a good anti-hero. Keep your Captain America and Superman--I like a character whose morality you can't really get a bead on. Also, his Cajun heritage and life in New Orleans make for an intriguing background.

The first story in the graphic novel is the comic run that introduces us to Gambit when he steps in to save Ororo, the X-Men's Storm, who has physically and mentally regressed to her pre-teen self. Her memory of the X-Men has been obliterated as her life as a thief in Cairo, Illinois, parallels her earlier life as a thief in Egypt. Storm and Gambit unknowingly plan a heist on the same mansion, not knowing of the other's existence, and certainly not knowing that it's a trap set up by the Shadow King to catch Storm. Gambit helps Storm escape and a bond between thieves is born. This storyline is interesting, but it can be confusing for those unfamiliar with the story about Storm's regression and frustrating for those who want more resolution as it simply ends where Gambit's importance to the narrative concludes. 

The second storyline is the more traditional Gambit narrative, set against the backdrop of New Orleans and the Assassins' Guild and the Thieves' Guild, as Gambit, who has now joined the X-Men, returns to the Big Easy when he learns his wife, the Assassin Bella Donna, is not dead, but lies comatose in her father's mansion. Prior to this, Gambit struck up a flirtation with Rogue, whose powers prevent any physical connection between the two. Gambit is now torn between the life and love he had in New Orleans before his banishment and the new life he has with the X-Men and the prospect of a a relationship with Rogue. This is definitely the superior story in the collection as it takes the time to focus on Gambit's background as Remy LeBeau and develops his character's Louisiana roots beyond the occasional dash of French phrasing and dialect. The star-crossed love of Gambit and Rogue is also made more poignant by Rogue stealing Bella Donna's memories as a means of having the physical intimacy she longs for with Gambit but is constantly denied. Rather than comforting Rogue, it makes her desire for Gambit all the more tragic. 

For those already familiar with Gambit's background, this is an excellent collection. For those not as well-acquainted, it could be a potentially confusing start, but I think ultimately rewarding as long as you don't expect too much resolution from the first storyline.

As If Nazis Weren't Bad Enough . . . Vampire Nazis!

American Vampire:  Volume 3
Written by Scott Snyder
Illustrated by Rafael Albuquerque and Sean Murphy
5 Out of 5 Stars

I can distill my review of why volume 3 of American Vampire is my favorite in the series down to two words: Nazi vampires. 

Seriously, does anything else need to be said? Probably not, but just try to shut up my enthusiasm for Snyder's series.

In volume 3, we follow our American vampires and those who love to try and stake 'em into World War II. In the first storyline, Pearl's husband, Henry, is enlisted by the Vassals of the Morning Star (a society of vampire hunters who have made an uneasy pact to keep Pearl and Henry safe) to join a team being sent to the island of Taipan to wipe out an indigenous vampire. When they arrive, they find a vampire unlike any they've ever seen: these vampires retain nothing of their former humanity, can turn a human in a matter of minutes, and are particularly vicious. To complicate matters, the first American vampire, Skinner Sweet, jealous of Henry's relationship with Pearl, sneaks aboard with the intention of killing Henry. 

In the second storyline (which is by far my favorite), Felicia Book and Cash McCogan are sent to a remote European castle to track down a rumored cure for vampirism. What they find instead is a Nazi plan to utilize vampires as the ultimate killing machines.

Felicia Book is a particularly interesting character. The daughter of a vampire and a human, Felicia has a huge chip on her shoulder as she has been raised to avenge the death of her father. She's one bad ass mamma-jamma and Snyder hasn't clearly addressed exactly what genetic side effects she may have from her supernatural parent. It will be interesting to see how she continues to develop as a character. 

The vampire mythology continues to be the most intriguing part of the story. So many vampire types, developing over the centuries and in varying geographical areas, have led to distinct species with particular strengths and weaknesses. The introduction of the towering ancient vampires hidden beneath the Nazi stronghold is one that I hope gets more focus in future storylines. 

A Waste of My Pennies

Penny for Your Soul
by Tom Hutchison
Illustrated by J. B. Neto
1 Out of 5 Stars

Penny for Your Soul is a trade from independent comic publisher Big Dog Ink and it is apparently their cornerstone title. The premise sounds intriguing: Danica, a demon who can trace her lineage back to old Lucifer himself, has established The Eternity casino in Las Vegas. In a more modern and lucrative take on the Charlie Daniels classic line of "I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul," Danica instead offers her patrons $10,000 to spend or gamble during their stay in the casino--the only catch is that you have to sign over your soul. Thinking this to be little more than a marketing scheme, people, of course, are more than willing to sign over this intangible commodity. Danica runs the establishment with Mary Magdalene, who had been sitting idly in purgatory, pining for Jesus (who apparently split and ran after their very mortal relationship), until Danica intervenes and offers Mary a position in the casino. The story hinges around heaven and hell realizing that Danica's earthly business is siphoning souls away from their intended eternal destination. What happens next? You guessed it--all hell breaks loose and the End Days begin.

I expected a lot from this story, none of which I got. I expected something more along the lines of Hellboy or the John Constantine narrative, or perhaps Glen Duncan's novel I, Lucifer. Instead, all I got was a lot of scantily clad, impressively stacked T & bootylicious A. This story is presented with all the sophistication of a 13 year old boy who has just discovered his mom's Victoria's Secret catalog and didn't know girls could kiss each other until some late night Cinemax education. Danica and Mary Magdalene have some sort of weird sexual relationship going on with each other and with other women. For example, Mary smacks a subordinate female casino employee on the ass and says, "C'mon, you know you liked it." In another scene, Danica talks about how she should have been looking at the cross around Mary's neck instead of at her impressive cleavage during an exorcism. C'mon, fellas, you've all been there right? There you are, trying to force a minion of Satan out of your friend's body lest she forfeit her eternal soul, but, damn!, that exorcist has a spectacular rack! And before anyone chastises me for being homophobic, it's not the homosexual aspect that bothers me--it's the manner in which it's presented. It is so obviously what some ultra-hetero, beer guzzling, Spike TV watching man who thinks two women making out is just about the hottest thing in the whole damn world would write. Another example? A demon rips off an angel's wing and threatens to rip off the other if the two female angels nearby don't start making out while he watches. "Hey, Beelzebub, you've just successfully returned to earth and brought your legions of the damned with you. What will you do now?" "I'm going to use my evil powers to force hot chicks to make out and then I'm going to Hooters! I hear their chicken wings are crazy tasty!" 

Others may make the argument that, hey, these are demons we're talking about here. Of course they're going to have less than refined taste when it comes to their sexual escapades. Yeah, but that seems to be all they care about. Their sins are fairly lightweight--all of the other sins don't really get much play. It's all gambling and sex. When War is unleashed upon the earth, riding a red Ducati (I admittedly thought that was a bit of brilliance), he and Mary Magdalene are playing strip poker while war rages around them. Literally, strip poker. Just for the fun of it. It's not like the fate of the world hangs in the balance based upon the outcome of this game; they just want to see each other's bits and pieces, I guess. So, basically, the moral of the story seems to be don't worry about the Apocalypse, folks. It's going to be like one prolonged soft porn flick! 

The art and coloring are admittedly beautiful (though conventional), although all of the women are trying to out buxom one another with their gravity defying double Ds (if you enjoy a good buxom-off, this shouldn't bother you). However, the lettering contained SEVERAL grammatical errors, including repeated crimes against the "to/too" rule and using the word "eluded" instead of "alluded." I can forgive one or two grammar errors, especially in an indie, but this thing is full of them. 

In another review I stated that everything is better with a dragon. Boy, could this storyline have used a passel of dragons. Granted, they probably would have just had them humping through Armageddon. On second thought, no dragons for you,Penny for Your Soul!

Butchering Stories From Literature's Finest Authors

Deadpool Killustrated

by Cullen Bunn

Illustrated by Matteo Lolli

Published by Marvel

4 Out of 5 Stars

Scrooge Finds It's Time
to Pay Up

The Merc with a Mouth is distraught after the events of Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe as his battle to rid the world of superhuman heroes and villains has failed. Deadpool understands that the world he inhabits is a fictional one and realizes that you can't get rid of present day characters as long as their archetypes exist. So what's a smart ass mercenary to do other than threaten people smarter than he is to build a time machine to the "Ideaverse" so he can rampage through the literary canon like some kind of berserker Marty McFly?

Deadpool Killustrated is a limited 4 issue storyline, which turns out to be a good call. While the first three issues were a lot of fun (and what I'm primarily basing the 4 stars on), the final issue fizzles with an anticlimactic ending (although, to be fair, the series will lead into the Deadpool Kills Deadpool story arc and may offer more resolution). The

Tom Sawyer Has Painted
His Last Fence

opening issues offer a wisecracking Deadpool gleefully slaughtering literary greats like Moby Dick, the Little Mermaid, Scrooge, the Little Women (who prove to be a tougher lot than one would think), Tom Sawyer, Scylla, Charybdis, and a host of other literary greats. Even the Senators who stabbed Julius Caesar have the tables turned in a single panel vignette. I have to admit, watching the carnage of literary greats who have plagued many a student with required reading was fun (although I got a little teary eyed when Bagheera bought it). The cover art alone is worth a depraved giggle or two. As Deadpool carves his way through the Ideaverse, the archetypal patterns begin to buckle and we see the characters shift between their traditional and modern incarnations, a trick author Cullen Bunn clearly has a lot of fun with.

It's not long, however, before Sherlock Holmes is on the case. Determined to track down Deadpool 

Can Holmes Solve the Case?

and put a stop to his mass murdering ways, he assembles a group of literary heroes: Natty Bumpo, Beowulf, Hua Mulan, and, of course, John Watson. Now that's a motley crew of literary misfits to rival The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. And it's also a colossal letdown as these characters are limited in their actions other than showing up behind Holmes and looking menacing. If you're going to put together a group like that, for the sake of the multiverse, have them do something other than pose and lend literary street cred to the narrative.

Despite my disappointment with the final issue, it was still entertaining enough to be worthy of a 4 star.

American Vampire Sinks Its Teeth In

American Vampire:  Volume 2

Written by Scott Snyder

Illustrated by Rafael Albuquerque and Mateus Santolouco

Published by Vertigo

4 Out of 5 Stars

I suspected this before, but volume 2 in the American Vampire storyline confirms what has now become an inalienable truth: Scott Snyder is a bad ass. And so are his vampires.

In volume 1, we were introduced to Skinner Sweet, the first American Vampire whose accidental creation proved to be a blow against the old school European vampires; Sweet is faster, stronger, and unlike any breed of vampire that came before him. Clearly, there's some symbolism here about America rising out of the outmoded aristocratic societies from which its populace immigrated to become a superpower, but who cares because there are VAMPIRES who are KILLING people and ENJOYING it without turning into emo-esque tortured souls after the blood spatters have hit the wall.

Volume 2 continues the story of many of the characters introduced in the first volume, but the setting is approximately a decade later (this is one of my favorite aspects of this series, the way it's not afraid to jump forward in time and explore its characters as America continues to work its way through its adolescence as a nation). The first storyline follows Las Vegas police chief Cashel McCogan as he investigates a series of murders that occur during the building of the Hoover Dam. Cashel is shocked to find out that his city harbors more than the mortal vices of gambling, drinking, and prostitution when he discovers that Sin City has more monsters hiding in its shadows than in its bright lights. The second storyline focuses on Pearl, the vampire created by Skinner Sweet in volume 1, as she tries to create an idyllic life with her human husband, Henry, and avoid the past that she knows is tracking her down.

These stories continue to develop the characters of Sweet and Pearl, as well as Felicia and Abilena Book who have become vampire hunters intent on making Sweet pay for turning Jim Book. I continue to love the idea of various types of vampires (like the Gaelic Prime), each of which must be killed in a different fashion, and how the American breed proves particularly difficult to kill as no one--man or vampire--has discovered its unique weaknesses. There are also some nice plot twists (with a chilling end to the first storyline of Cashel McCogan) and questions that still have yet to be answered (such as what exactly is Felicia Book, the naturally born child of Abilena and the infected Jim Book). I suppose it's on to volume 3 to find out.

Across the Universe

Saga:  Volume 2

Written by Brian K. Vaughan

Illustrated by Fiona Staples

Published by Image

4 Out of 5 Stars

In the first 6 issues of Saga (which comprised volume 1 of the trade edition), Brian K. Vaughan threw in enough weird ass shit to keep me in a delightfully perpetual state of "what the hell was that?" So much so that I worried the inventiveness might eventually wear thin, begin to feel as though it's trying too hard (as I sometimes feel with China Mieville's Dial H), or simply create such a labyrinthine mythology that it's just not worth trying to puzzle it all out. The second 6 issues have definitely allayed those fears as they are as outrageous and genuine as the first story arc, losing none of the batshit craziness or heart.

Hazel, the newborn daughter of Marko and Alana, continues to narrate the story of her parents from an unknown point in the future. Marko and Alana, both soldiers from two warring alien races, have a romance that reads like Romeo and Juliet on crack. On the run as fugitives from their respective races, they continue to search the universe for a safe place to live, love, and raise Hazel. But, alas, bounty hunters continue to plague them and, worst of all, the sudden appearance of ex-flames (an enraged Gwendolyn, Marko's one time fiancée) and in-laws (Marko's parents seek out their wayward child at the worst possible of times, complicating his escape with Alana).

This arc provides background on several significant characters, including how Marko and Alana met, as well as the history of the relationship between The Will and The Stalk, the star-crossed (and bad ass) bounty hunters hot on their trail. For those uninitiated to Brian Vaughan's work, however, be forewarned: there will be sex scenes, giants with pendulous scrotums, and enough deviant behavior to make Sodom and Gomorrah blush with shame. However, I also appreciate the maturity with which the relationships are portrayed--they're real without being romanticized. Saga works beautifully because of this and because of the huge debt the series owes to illustrator Fiona Staples. The work of any other artist could have made Vaughan's ideas too cartoonish, too over-the-top, but Staples's work is the right mesh of quirky and realistic that roots this world in an organic quality that gives it weight and authenticity.

In short, I can't praise Saga highly enough. It's a testament to what comics can achieve when writers and artists are let off the leashes of pre-conceived, "safe" concepts and allowed to chase after their most vivid, fevered imaginings.