Mental Health Needs To Be Taken Seriously

Published September 8, 2018 by Brea~Hope

Alright, so I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything on here and I’m really sorry about that. But there’s something that I really wanted to say and I figured that this is the best place to say it. Recently, I’ve been noticing a reoccurring pattern in my life that has been getting my attention and that specific topic is mental health issues. This is a topic that has a bad tendency to get pushed aside; something that many people don’t take seriously until someone (like a celebrity) takes their life and then you hear about it for about a week and then it disappears. Now, I’m not going to sit here and act like I know everything about this subject- I, myself do not have a mental disorder so I do not claim to have experienced any of the sufferings that many of them have had to endure -I can only say what I’ve seen.

In this past year alone; I’ve had a friend go to rehab because of how bad his mental health had gotten, another friend opened up and told me how they have depression and anxiety, I met somebody online who ended up committing suicide, and now just yesterday we have lost another talented individual to an overdose. Things should never have to go that far.

I’ve recently been taking an Abnormal Psychology class at my university so I’ve been learning more about certain disorders and the stigma that comes along with them. (For those of you who don’t know what stigma is, they are “destructive beliefs and attitudes held by society that are ascribed to groups considered different in some manner”). During my second class, we watched a documentary that featured inmates who had mental disorders and as I was watching; hearing about these people who have had to go through this, hearing a person say how they want to die because nobody likes them, seeing that so many people don’t even have mental health facilities near them so they couldn’t go get help… I started crying. It was just such a painful thing to watch because I could feel every emotion that the people in it were feeling in those moments. But then I couldn’t help but feel guilty because I keep feeling like there’s something that I need to do for these people but I’m not in a position where I even know how right now. That’s part of the reason I’m making this post. I need people to know that I see what’s happening and I want to do anything in my power to help.

If you are suffering from any type of mental disorder, please seek out help. You do not have to try and face this alone. I know somebody who let it destroy their life and they’re finally seeking help and getting better. I don’t want anyone else to let their mental health mess up their lives. I know that finding help can be expensive and I really wish that it wasn’t but I also know that it’s so much harder to try and face things by yourself.

Just in case: For any of you who are going through something and may need it, here are some available resources/hotlines:

Online Crisis Chat: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

Crisis Text Line: Text 741-741

CrisisLink: 703-527-4077

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255

Veterans Crisis Line: 800-273-8255 (Press 1)

Trevor Lifeline: 866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860

Mental Health Project: http://smhp.psych.ucla.edu/hotline.htm

Teen Health & Wellness: https://teenhealthandwellness.com/static/hotlines

More Resources: https://captainawkward.com/2017/10/03/guest-post-14-free-and-low-cost-mental-health-resources/

You Are Not Alone.
You Are Valid.
You Do Matter.
You Are Not Crazy. 
Getting Help Is Not Embarrassing.
People Do Care About You. I Care About You.
You Can Get Through This.
I Believe In You.

Beauty Standards 

Published August 2, 2016 by Brea~Hope

Okay so this is a subject that I have personally been struggling with my entire life, therefore a lot of the things I’m about to say are aimed at myself and I guess pretty much any other person in the world like me. So basically since I was a little girl society and media has always put this image in my mind about what I needed to look like in order to be pretty or beautiful. I couldn’t wear my glasses, my hair had to be long and straight, I had to be thin, my skin had to always be perfect, if I’m planning on wearing shorts or a skirt or basically anything that shows part of my legs; I had to make sure they were shaved, etc. and I always felt like if I didn’t have all those things that I wasn’t beautiful.

I have personally gone through many phases in my life; I started wearing contacts instead of glasses because I thought I looked ugly when I wore them, when I was younger I used to wear extensions to make my hair longer, then I went through my ‘wig phase’ where I wore a lot of different wigs because not only did it give me long hair but I also kept wanting a change in the way that I looked and I had also realized that the main time where I ever really got noticed was when I would wear them. But I guess you could say I grew out of it.. Somewhat. After I went natural I didn’t really want to wear my wigs anymore and I basically just started experimenting with different styles on my own hair and I personally liked that better.

Now, being that I am a teenage girl and a young adult there’s this whole “makeup phase”. I personally never wear makeup. It’s not something that I ever really wanted to do; it’s not that I’m against it but I honestly do believe that wearing makeup causes insecurity. Now many people can try to debate me on that statement but just hear me out. I just noticed that with a lot of people who wear makeup they feel like they can’t ever go out without having it on and a lot of people (especially those people who are a bit insecure about their own look like I am) when they wear makeup and they realize “Oh my gosh, these people are actually paying attention to me and saying I’m pretty” and stuff like that, it becomes so easy to get into the mindset that you only look pretty with makeup on and I don’t like that. I don’t want to feel like that. That’s why I always refuse to wear makeup because if people are going to notice me, I want them to notice me as myself; the natural me and I don’t want to fall into that mindset that I have to wear it in order to be considered beautiful; I want to be able to be comfortable with my own face and my own hair and with my own sense of style.

It just feels like, as the way I am right now; still kind of insecure, that I would end up feeling like I can’t go out without that stuff and hiding behind it and it would feel as if I am surrendering if I chose to do that and I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to feel that way anymore. I’m not trying to say that the only reason people wear makeup is because they’re insecure; that’s not true at all and I don’t want to give people the impression that that’s what I think because it’s not and I’m not trying to judge anyone who may wear makeup, and wigs, and weave, and maybe does other things just because it’s something that they personally like. I’m not judging those people, that’s perfectly fine. I’m not speaking against them I’m just speaking for myself.

My main point that I’m trying to get across is that it just seems like people and society always tries to mold or force us into being their version of perfect or beautiful. This actually goes for guys too. Bottom line is we’re always being judged and who we are never really seems to be good enough; we’re either too big, too thin, too short, too tall, too dark, too light, not feminine enough, not manly enough, and there’s always something that people tend to point out about us to say that we are not good enough as we are and that’s not right. What in the world gave society the right to tell us whether or not we are beautiful? What gave them the right to tell us what we’re “supposed” to look like? What gives someone the right to say to someone that they are unattractive just because that person doesn’t fit Their personal preference? We weren’t meant to all look the same; we’re all different and in our own way, we are all beautiful and that should be enough. 

As for anyone else in the world like me who may feel like they have to look a certain way to be considered beautiful and to be noticed… You are Beautiful just the way you are! You don’t have to do all those things to be beautiful because you already are and the people who don’t see that are just missing out. You don’t have to change for anybody; not for society, not to make friends, not to impress that person you like because the people who are worth being in your life are the ones who will love and accept you for you not the ones who will only notice and accept you if you change everything about yourself.

I just want you to know that you’re perfect the way you are. Your natural beauty is worth so much. Don’t let anyone make you believe that you’re not beautiful as yourself. You’re not just some number on a scale to be rated. Please remember that.

https://youtu.be/KqnZiKPFbPs

Contact Me!

Published August 29, 2015 by Brea~Hope

Hey guys! So, for the longest I’ve been saying to contact me if y’all ever needed someone to talk to or to listen, etc. But now I’ve finally made a personal email to connect to this account to make it easier to get in touch with me. If y’all ever want to get in touch with me my new email is: BreTonaeHope@gmail.com
Never hesitate to message me, if you need me I’m gonna be here for you. I’m gonna try to check my email every day so if I don’t message back right away, I promise that I will as soon as I can. You guys are all so amazing, and I love and care about y’all so much. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you’re nothing because you are worth so much more than you know and if you ever feel alone just know that there is someone out there who cares about you, because I care about you and I want y’all to know that.
We’re in this together okay!

Know Your Worth

Published August 20, 2015 by Brea~Hope

Okay so one of my really close friends came to me for advice a few days ago because she wanted to know why good people always seem to be taken advantage of. And here’s the thing; some people think of kind-heartedness as a weakness and those people are automatically seen as the easiest people to take for granted because they are kind-hearted and will probably do anything to help even if that person had already hurt them previously. Nice people get taken advantage of all the time and it seems as though nobody even thinks twice about it because they care so much that they’ll continue to be there for that person and the people who are taking them for granted don’t truly appreciate it. And what sometimes tends to happen is the kind-hearted person attempts to act cold-hearted to appear tougher so that they won’t be taken for granted anymore but it’s hard for them to follow through because they know that that’s not who they really are.To all those people who fell into that and started believing that you have to be cold-hearted and rude in order to not be taken advantage of let me just say; you do Not have to be rude and cold hearted. You can still be a kind person; you just need to learn to know your worth. Every single one of you is perfect just the way you are. Honestly we need more people like you in the world. Please don’t let people like that who do not see your worth make you feel like you need to change. If you know who you are and you truly know what you’re worth Wear It Proudly. Let them see that you’re not as weak as they think because you’re not. Even if it feels like you are; that is the mindset that They gave you. You have to change that on your own. Show them that you refuse to be taken advantage of anymore and I guarantee you that things will change. I know you’re probably thinking “How do I do that? It doesn’t seem like it’s possible for things to be different.” 

For now just start by telling yourself that you are who you are but your kindness is Not a weakness. Even though you are a kind-hearted person you are also strong. You are worth so much; so much more than you know and once you truly know your worth you won’t accept anything less than the treatment that you deserve and they’ll be able to see that.

Everything I’m saying is true; you are worth so much and I really hope that one day you’ll be able to look and really see that but until then I’m still going to be here to tell you.

We’re still in this together. I’m here for you.

Why This Is So Important To Me

Published May 7, 2015 by Brea~Hope

Alright, so there have been many times where I would reach out to someone when they’re sad to let them know that I’ll be here for them if they ever need me and they’d be appreciative but they would also question why I care so much so I wanted to take the time to tell you why and why this blog is so special to me.

I am known to be a naturally shy and quiet person; there’s not many people that I talk to, one of my friends actually thought I was mute when he met me, but I am very passionate and very deeply connected to the people in the world. I can connect to people and feel people’s pain and all I want to do is help to take their pain away. It just feels like I have some type of duty to the world to be there for people. It’s something that I do because I feel like if I am not able to be there for someone and help them feel better or to touch someone’s life that there is honestly no reason for me to even exist. Trying to help people gives me a purpose. But sadly sometimes it’s really hard for me to reach out to people because when I do, the people I reach out to never really come to me when something’s wrong because they have other friends to whom they would rather confide in and half the time it’s a specific person who they want to be there for them, and not me. And it’s so hard for me to just sit here knowing that there are people out there that are hurting and that need somebody and I can’t do anything about it. There are so many people in the world who feel alone, and sad, and scared, and like no one really cares about them and it’s so hard knowing that because I care and there’s so many people who want/need to be reached out to that I can’t reach. That’s why this blog is so important to me. It makes me feel like I’m actually making some type of difference. I know that it’s almost impossible to reach out to everyone but at least with this blog there is a possibility that I can at least reach someone. It doesn’t have to be a lot of people, I know this blog isn’t all that popular but at least it’d be someone. That’s all I want, to make a positive difference in someone’s life. To reach out and touch someones life. I don’t have to be popular, I don’t care about all that superficial stuff. That’s not what matters to me. What matters is honestly being able to help make a difference. For someone. Anyone. That’s all I want to do. And honestly it’s more than just a “want” now, this is something I need to do. There’s a reason I claimed the name “Hope”; Hope is that light inside that tells you that you Can keep going, and that you Can make it, and that You Do have a Chance. People tend to feel like they lose hope; when the darkness and pain is so strong around you that you feel like nothing is worth it anymore it’s hard to really believe in “hope”. That’s why I claimed this name. I want to be able to give people hope. I want to be that light that helps them realize that they can be something; the one who helps them get through all the pain and the hurt that keeps trying to take over them. That’s who I am. That’s what I live for.

If there’s anyone out there who feels alone and sad, please don’t ever hesitate to message me. I finally made a personal email for this blog which can be found on the Contact Me page at the top of my blog and I promise that if you reach out to me that I will answer back and I will do everything that I can to be there for you. Like I’ve said in the majority of my previous posts, We Are In This Together! I love and care about all of you and I really hope that whoever is reading this has been touched in some way by me and by this blog because you guys are the reason I’m here. I love you guys and I am here for you okay. Thank you for giving me purpose.

Find Your Humanity!

Published April 22, 2015 by Brea~Hope

I don’t really know how to start this because I’m not really doing well emotionally right now. I was just doing an assignment for my history class where we had to look up the shadow images of the victims of the bombing of Hiroshima and.. well, seeing those pictures stirred up so many emotions and it got me thinking and it has me in such a sad state of mind. I just can’t get myself to understand how anyone could just bomb and kill innocent people. How could anyone be so heartless? And what’s so horrible is that people get killed every single day and more. They get beaten, raped, and so much more. But why? Why do we live in a world full of hatred, greed, and selfishness? I just don’t understand. How can someone look at another living being and somehow convince themselves that that this person deserves to suffer? That they deserve to die; that they deserve to feel pain? People always talk about having “peace” in the world but do you ever stop to think why it doesn’t exist right now? Did you ever realize that the chaos that does exist is being fueled by the hatred and selfishness that exists in every human being. If there is to be a difference made in the world we can’t just wait around for it to happen. We can’t just sit here and not change Anything about ourselves and expect there to be peace in the world when it is us who create and spread around the chaos. How is it that we can just sit here and know what’s happening and do nothing about it? How can a person know that there are people who are hurting in the world and not care, and feel nothing? I just don’t understand. Where is your humanity? How can anyone be that heartless? Why when you have the choice to spread love, and hope, and acceptance, would you choose to cause destruction and harm?

I’m sorry that this turned into a rant and that this isn’t like what I usually post about but at this moment I’m just angry and sad. Angry because I belong to a country that has done such horrible things and sad because I couldn’t do anything to stop it and save those people. I’m just trying to understand why stuff like this happens and why we have to live in a world like this. One day I hope and pray to see this world become one full of love, peace, and acceptance instead of hate, greed, and selfishness. In a perfect world, there would be no more wars, no more murder, no more fighting to be the most powerful, no more pain. We’d all learn to accept each other and to love each other no matter what our differences. Many claim they want to see a “better world” but blind themselves to the reality and refuse to make a change in themselves. Change starts at home. Peace starts at home! Make a change in yourself. When the people of the world become beings of love instead of hate, only then would the world ever truly be at peace.

Goals

Published October 31, 2014 by Brea~Hope

Sometimes when you’re going through a hard time, you just need to find something to motivate you to make you feel like you have a purpose to be here. You need to find something that you want that your life just wouldn’t feel complete without. Something that you want to accomplish before you die and that you truly believe in. My goal is to become an inspiraton; I want to let people know that they’re not alone and that someone truly cares about them. That I care about them. I personally love giving people advice, I love trying to help people because when I’m not; if I don’t feel like I can do something for someone…I just feel helpless so I just try to let people know that I’m here for them, I believe in them and all they need to do is honestly believe in theirselves. This is my motivation Every time that I’m sad, or depressed, or questioning why the heck I was even born because I know other people are suffering and maybe just maybe I can make a difference in their lives. Who would I be if I went around preaching “Be strong” and “Don’t give up” if I gave up on myself? If I actually effect someones life, if I am the reason that someone is still here, I promise that I will fight until the end because if I can touch at least one life then that’s all I need because if I can’t help and inspire at least one person; why am I even here?
Here’s the thing about goals:
Rule #1: Don’t Ever tell yourself that you can’t do something because you can do anything.
Everything around us; tv, cell phones, houses, computers, desks, books, movies, singers, actresses, doctors, etc. Everything around us started with someone who had a dream or goal that became reality. You yourself was probably a dream made reality. But we struggle to realize that and we hold back from accomplishing our own goals because of fear. We can’t let that hold us back anymore. Last year, I cried for four hours straight because of some fear that crept up behind me. Somehow all my anxiety just tried to devour me and I couldn’t control it because I didn’t even realize how scared I was. My teacher talked to me for about 30 minutes about how I can’t let fear hold me back. She gave me this quote to read and told me to read it every day twice a day; in the morning and before I go to bed and somehow it actually did help me. And now for everyone out there who needs motivation, I’m gonna share it with you.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I want y’all to read this every to every other day and get yourself to believe it. Because every single one of us are amazing, talented, and beautiful; and you can do anything you set your mind to.
I believe in you. Now it’s time for you to believe in yourselves.

Breakups

Published July 27, 2014 by Brea~Hope

Alright so I know that people wouldn’t think that I was the best person to talk to about breakups considering I did cry every day for 5 months after a really bad breakup of mine about 2 years ago but considering I did get through it, I do know a lot about this topic. This article is pretty much corresponding/adding on to my last post because I have friends who are actually struggling with the aftermath of a breakup and I’m really hoping that this can help them and anyone else who can relate to this.
So basically yes, heartbreak/heartache is hard. Yes, sometimes it feels like love just isn’t worth it but instead of destroying yourself about it you need to remember your friends and your family who do love you. You need to remember not those people who just said that they’d be there for you but the people who have actually been there, the ones who have proven it to you even when you didn’t notice or maybe didn’t appreciate it at the time.
If you seriously really want this person to stay in your life, you can try to work things out with them but try not too be extra demanding because all that really does is push the other person farther away. Trust me, I know. I have seen it happen. If you keep on demanding it and keep on coming back and being extra controlling it comes across as just a very unhealthy obsession. You can’t make someone love you. And even though a lot of times people want to, you can’t just force love. The reason that doesn’t work is because if the relationship is forced to happen then it wouldn’t be a real relationship. The love that you want in a real relationship won’t be there. Love is something that you have to just let happen and trust that God will lead you in the right direction. And as for staying friends with this person, the first thing you have to learn is to forgive. And if you loved them, like really loved them you have to put it in your mind that you want them to be happy no matter what. Whether they are with you or not. It’s hard as heck sometimes but it’s worth it. It really is. Whether we believe it or not, everything honestly does work out for the better. When one door closes, another one opens and that door will lead you closer to the life and the person that you were meant for.
Sometimes it seems like every door we go to ends up closed but that’s just because sometimes we were meant to go through those situations so we can be taught a lesson. But most of the time because of something, like maybe a small glint of a certain happiness that we had experienced during that situation that the door has shut on, a part of us keeps wanting to get that part of our lives back so we keep trying to go back when we’re actually supposed to move forward. A lot of times we wish that we could break the door down but we can’t because none of us are stronger than God and we all need to realize that that door, that part of our lives is closed for a reason.
At that point in time when you’re actually suffering from the pain of a breakup it could seem like all hope in the world is lost but believe it or not, Hope is actually the thing that is keeping you here. No matter how bad the situation, it’s that little voice inside you that says “Don’t give up, you can make it”. Hope never leaves you, it’s just sometimes hard to hear when you’re so sad/mad/heartbroken that your emotion comes across to be louder. I know it hurts and I know that you’re probably tired of hearing that “Time will heal” but from my experience and from experiences that I’ve seen I learned that time really does heal. No, it doesn’t erase the fact that it happened and the pain that was there but it lets you realize that in that time that you were thinking that you couldn’t live without them; you were still living, you’re still here, and your life is not over yet.
Until you can look inside and find that hope, I have enough to hold on for you. You can make it through this. Trust me. No matter what I want you to know that you are not alone and that there is somebody out there who loves you. I love every single one of you and I will be there for you when you need me. You’re still here, that’s proof enough that you can make it. I know that it’s hard, I know that it feels like the pain is too much to handle but you will get through this. I believe in you.

It’s Not Worth It / Let Go

Published April 5, 2014 by Brea~Hope

Alright so this goes out to all those people who have been struggling because some guy or some girl keeps on playing with your emotions and maybe even made you not even want to be on this earth anymore. The one thing I have to say is…They’re not worth it. Anyone who makes you question your worth or makes you even think about taking your life isn’t worth it. And if there’s rumors involved you can’t let those get to you either. Here’s something my mom once told me, “If you think your situation is bad, someone else’s is worse” and something I always say, “You’re not alone, others are facing this situation and worse” You can’t let them or any of that other stuff control your life. You have to overcome it. Look, you might not completely understand now, but you will later when you’re ready to. Even I’d been feeling sometimes like maybe I shouldn’t be here but you can’t give up. Every single one of us were put here for a reason. All these things; all these obstacles that have been thrown at you were put here so you can overcome it and become stronger.

And to those whose situation has to do with someone you’ve been in a relationship with; Not every relationship you get in is going to be the “Right One. ” Sometimes the person you love is put there as a lesson.

God once said “I will close the door no one can open, and open the door no one can close” Did you ever think that maybe he’s trying to close this door in your life but you keep resisting and trying to go back? You have to let go and trust God to lead you. I understand that if you love someone it’s hard to let go but sometimes you can love someone and not be able to with them. But there’s always someone better out there. You can’t force love, and you can’t search for it. You have to let it find you.

Look, life is gonna be one hardship after the other. There’s gonna be good times and there’s gonna be bad times. But you can’t live your life stuck in the past that you’re hoping to get back. The whole world changes. People change. But if you keep holding on to the past, then it keeps you from from seeing what’s right around the corner.

Every single experience we face so that we can look back and tell the story; that we went through this..and we survived.

 

Legalize Love

Published July 27, 2013 by Brea~Hope

I’m sorry to go into this topic but it was just something that was on my mind. I just don’t see why so many people have a problem with “gay marriage”. It’s like these people are being labeled because their different and being punished for someone else’s opinion of what love is. I’m sorry if this offends you, I know that the concept is against some religions and I’m really not trying to offend anyone but I just really wanted to voice my opinion on the subject. I’m gonna try to use this for an example, the same-sex marriage legalization in the U.S. it’s been taking the longest for them to legalize it most likely because they see it as not natural. But, in my opinion I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not like it’s a crime or something. It’s not like legalizing it is going to make people try to force you to be attracted to your same gender or something. What they needed to realize is that these are peoples lives that they are dealing with. We’re all people whether we like the opposite sex or the same one. Honestly love is love, no matter what gender, race or religion (etc.) the other person is. Personally I believe that when it comes down to it, above anything else it should be the personality that you fall for; who they are on the inside. People should be allowed to fall in love with someone that they truly care about and at least have the option to get married if they want or are ready instead of having the option taken away from them completely like they’re un-human, or don’t deserve it, or something because that’s false. We’re all people and we all deserve to love who we want to love.
You see there are a lot of people out there who are treated differently, kids and teens who are bullied, and people who feel so different and alone because of the fact that they’re not like the people around them. Just because they like their same gender and honestly it’s not right for people to just outcast them because of something like that because they’re people too.
Well, anyway I hope I didn’t offend anyone in this article, I just have a strong opinion on this situation because people are literally killing themselves based on how they’re treated because of stuff like this. But to all those people out there who are being bullied, or outcasted, or treated differently, or just feel straight up alone because of something like this I’m just here to say that I honestly do support you 100% You are not alone okay, other people out there are going through this as well so yeah, you’re not alone. And if you ever feel like no one cares about you or if you’re keeping all this a secret and you feel like people are going to turn on you if they find out then I want you to know that I do care about you and that I’m here for you. I’d never turn on someone because of something like that. We’re in this together alright.

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